" By all means, marry. If you get a good
wife, you'll become happy; if you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
    ~Socrates~

Chapter6~ union of different feelings ~

The pain is so intense that my eyes well up.

And why he has to remind me my grandma!

Does he not know it hurts to recall her...

It hurts so much..

She was the only person ever closest to my heart..

Since she had gone I just lost my shelter...lost the shadow of protection...lost the place of being pampered...

" Are you ok?"  Mala and her jiju  ask me in union..

Ah like they care!

Why evrything has to be happened with me...

Why I'm the only one left in this world to be a victim of every mess!!

And on the top of all  these the pain does not help me to sit still anymore..

Let them play whatever they want...

Let him wink every girl present in here..

I JUST DON'T CARE...

I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE..

There was never any moment somebody is valuing my decision...

Not then when my marriage was first fixed with Ankush..

Not then when Ankush ran away and I was about to back off from the marriage thing...

Not now when I'm wanting to shut all these stupid funs up...

Nobody is realising...

It's so hard for me to go through all these series of events...

I'm too a jolly, bubly, fun-loving girl but today I'm not in that condition to celebrate all these...

And boy, nobody cares a damn about this....about my feelings...

I push them away and rush to the empty mandap...

A few droplets of tear falls from my eyes stabilising the burning pain in my tounge a bit...

Holding a decorated pillar I lean my head on it...

The physical pain has catalysed my mental agony..

I'm suddenly feeling hollow...

A few more tears makes their way down to my cheeks....

Man! I miss him...

I miss Ankush...

We're not in love but we've become each other's habit...

But now I really don't know am I even allowed to miss him...

I really don't know..

But still don't I have the right to miss him as a friend?

God knows..

Cause nobody is gonna believe  we can be friends still..

But I'm missing him like crazy...

This is the first night after befriended with Ankush I guess in which he is not gonna send me a goodnight message..

Not going to crack a stupid joke about something...

Not going to inform me about our coming hang-out-place..

Oh man..why am I thinking this!!

That crazy yet sweet friendship of us is over...

IS OVER...

I really have no right on him...

Man it hurts...

And then my marriage with the Curly...

Can't it be anymore worse!!

I think I would have escaped the hollowness which I'm feeling right now by not marrying anymore and by crying my heart out in my grandma's room...alone..

But this Curly has make all the things impossible for me...

Neither I can return to my house...to my grandma's room nor I can express my mental agony by being a crybaby infront of everyone...

I feel like screaming out in pain..

But no, I'm not gonna break down..

I'm not gonna show my tears to everyone...

Those who don't value me...will surely make a fun of my tears too..

Nobody understands me..nobody..

And the Curly has just added salt to my wound by coming into my life..

Oh Shiva! How many surprises I've to witness in the coming days and how much worse they will be now...

*        *          *

I know pretty well somebody will surely follow me ....so I wipe my tears furiously....

" Anudi what happened?"

Mala asks from behind..

Ahh what a true prediction!!

" I accedentally bit my tongue...but..you don't have to worry...you go back..."

Mala opens her mouth to say something but I again cut her off..

" Just GO Mala!!

I'm fine really!!

GO and carry on the game...with your jiju..!"

I hiss at her while telling the last part..

" Anudi..jiju  sent  me to find you..."

Girl!! Is this man even normal!!

Why is he freaking acting like a protective boyfriend!!

Man!! I'm running out of cursings..!!

" I'm not feeling like going back..

You guys carry on na!

And I'm not interested in playing even!!"

Mala shruggs and goes back..

Ughh! They just cant leave me in my peace also!!

*      *        *

After 10 minutes my aunts and Mala with all the female members

come out from the room...

My maternal aunt orders me with a stern voice to go back to the bashor  room and take some rest as the coming two days will also be hectic for me so I should take rest...

But..is the game over??

Where are they going??

" Where are you all going?"

I ask in confusion..

" Idhant didn't want to play anymore since you've rushed out...

So no game..."

Oh boy!! I've almost forgotten he has a name!!

" And since no game is gonna be played..we're going to take some rest in a proper way..."

Oh my God!!

In a proper way!

Means they're returning to the house!!

Wooo!!

" Wait..I'm also coming!" I squealed..

They shoot me a quizzical look like have-you-gone-mad!

"You're not allowed to come with us Anu..you've to spend the night in bashor ..."

" But you're all leaving!.."

" Your brothers are there na!

That's enough...we're so tired Anu..goodnight"

With this they march towards the front gate leaving me alone with the bunch of guys!

Gahh!!

*       *        *

After another 15 minutes I tiptoe to the bashor room...

Curly is busy in explaining something to my sleepy brothers...

Now I can't spend this night by standing..Can I??

So I approach to them..

Curly look up at me through his nerdy glasses...

I avoid him and shift to a corner enough far from him...

I grab a velvet cushion and lie down placing my head on it..

My brothers and Curly are having some conversation with the models of sports-car...

Surely boys have a thing for this stuff...

I close my eyes wishing for a sweet dream since my reality has become no longer a sweet one...

And I start to doze off while a husky voice keeps resonating in the room..

***********************************
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¤ Bashor- According to Bengali
customs, the groom spends the night
at the bride's place with same aged siblings and other relatives of the bride where night-long
fun and merriment continues.

¤ Jiju- brother-in-law...

¤ di- a suffix to address elder sister...

¤ mandap- where the wedding had held...

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** not edited **

** written on my phone **

**********************************

** dedicated to one of my dedicated reader @mniazi

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             truant_Delilah_xx

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