Calum blinked, his eyes focused on the ceiling as they had been for the last two hours.

    He'd woken up early, in what was apparently Michael's old room. This time he'd been carefully placed in the bed, head on the pillow and two blankets draped over him. He guessed he'd fallen asleep on the couch between Luke and Ashton last night after they'd had dinner and one of them brought him here.

    He was so confused. That's all he'd felt since meeting these guys.

    He knew they were bad news. He knew he shouldn't even be considering what they were saying...it was absolutely crazy. Maybe he could just go along with it until they gave him a bit of freedom, and then he could escape.

    But a horrible part of him didn't want to escape. He liked them, he liked their attention and how concerned they were for each other. He loved their dynamic, how well they worked together and part of him wanted to see how he'd mesh with them.

    Would he play-argue with Luke all the time, and discuss medical journals with Ash, and help Mikey cook dinner? Would he be the one to help break up arguments between Michael and Ashton, and sit with Luke when he cried? Would he be isolated every time he did something bad, would they be mad if he didn't want to Help them?

    There were so many 'what if's' and possibilities floating around, and he wasn't sure how to ask them. He could feel himself reverting back into the shy, quiet kid he was as a child. When he was younger, his parents got divorced, he was bullied at school, and no one looked after him. The only way he knew how to protect himself was to retreat into himself, go along with anything, and stay quiet. Not speaking his mind, not being the center of attention was the only way to stay safe.

    He had tried to improve himself, to get better and process his emotions as an adult. When he became a nurse, he broke out of his shell a bit more and was able to hit his stride talking to the patients and other nurses. He could be a bit more of himself, the person he truly wanted to be, when he was taking care of people.

    Would this new opportunity Ashton presented him get him to where he wanted? Could he really do something like that or would it be betraying the entire thing he'd been longing for his entire life?

    "Cally, baby, are you awake?" a voice whispered through the crack in his door. He debated for a moment pretending to be asleep still, wondering if Luke would walk away or not, but he sat up, rubbing his eyes and looked at the man. "Good morning, love, how are you?"

    Calum had two choices. He could be honest, tell Luke that he was confused, didn't really like what was going on, and more than likely end up in isolation again. Or he could just stay silent, let things be, and go along with it. Hopefully the second option would lead to something better than being by himself. He hated that. He tried to fool himself by travelling the country alone to hide from his emotions, but he knew that's all it was, a trick.

    "Okay," he shrugged, not looking in his blue eyes. Luke walked inside the room, sitting down carefully on the edge of the bed.

    "Want some breakfast? Ash tried to help Mikey make pancakes, and the batter ended up everywhere; all over the counters and ceiling, and somehow in the toaster," Luke shook his head. Calum giggled at that, wondering how badly Ashton must have messed up for that to be the case. Cooking wasn't too difficult, there were basic things everyone should be able to do. But he knew from spending time there that it wasn't as simple to everyone. "Michael sentenced him to cleaning duty and took over cooking so we can have something edible,"

    "S-sure," he got up, noting that he was wearing different clothing than yesterday. He tried not to think about what that meant and followed Luke downstairs, standing in the doorway as Ashton and Michael were laughing and cleaning up a mess.

    "Good morning, Sunshine, how are you?" Ashton looked up, waving Calum inside. Luke was already cuddled up under Ashton's arm, hugging his waist. Calum bit his lip, hesitating before walking over to them. Ashton smiled, opening his other arm for Calum to choose to hug him or not. After a supportive smile from Luke, Calum agreed, allowing himself the comfort that being in Ashton's arms always brought him. How could that be, when the very hands slowly running up and down his back were used to murder patients at the hosptial? Why did he find relief, when those people found death at the same hands?

    "I'm okay, th-thank you."

    He had to pretend, had to go along if he wanted things to get better. His hands were trembling, he tried to hide them in a fist behind his back so no one would notice. He hated how anxious he felt around them, but he wasn't sure how to get rid of the feeling.

    Michael told them the food was ready, so they all moved to the island to sit at the stools.

    "Cal, can you grab the pitcher of orange juice from the counter?" The boy with the colorful hair requested. Calum was closest to it, so he hopped off his seat to get what they needed. He ended up having to use two hands to grip it, because he was so afraid he was going to spill it, dump it all over the floor, or even worse, on someone, and then they'd be mad and sentence him to isolation again. He didn't want that.

    "Here, put it down," Luke cleared a spot, helping him guide it the last couple feet to the table. He looked a bit unsteady, and Luke didn't want something bad to happen.

    Calum sat back in his seat, allowing Luke to pile food on the plate for him. He wasn't particularly hungry, but he knew if he didn't eat, they'd force him. He'd rather eat a bit on his own than have them make him do it.

    "I'm proud of you, Cal," Ashton smiled at him from his spot across the table. "I know it's difficult for you, but you're adjusting so well, I can tell this is going to work out,"

    Calum wasn't sure why he felt butterflies light up his stomach at Ashton's words, and the glowing looks from Michael and Luke made him feel good too.

    "Good boy, baby," Luke patted his hand before the three continued whatever conversation they'd been having. Calum knew he needed to continue doing things their way to keep them "proud" of him. It was the only way to get out of there.

***

Later on in the day, the warm fuzzy feelings had worn off, and Calum was actually left alone for a few moments. Michael had gone out, Calum wasn't sure where, Luke was taking a shower, and Ashton was somewhere around the house. Calum was sitting on the couch, the TV left on from the show they'd been watching together before everyone disappeared.

    Their afternoon was fine, Luke had sat close to Calum, but didn't do anything to make the man uncomfortable. Calum liked knowing Luke was there if he wanted something, but didn't force him. The thing was, sometimes they were so thoughtful and made Calum feel like he had some say, then other times he was forced into things he didn't want.

    When had life become like this?

    Calum sighed, stretching across the couch, facing the TV. His stomach rumbled a bit, making him sigh. Michael had told him if he ever wanted something to treat the kitchen like his own. He was welcome to get anything to eat or drink that he wanted, he didn't need to wait or ask permission.

    After debating his choice for almost ten minutes, Calum got up and nervously padded over to the kitchen. Maybe he could find something small, it was 2:30; they'd had a late breakfast so they were going to have an early dinner. He wanted something small to munch on.

    He looked through the cabinets but didn't find anything that struck his fancy. Maybe he was just bored. He checked the refrigerator and found some fruit, picking an apple and taking it to the sink to wash it. There was also some juice in there too, so he reached up to get a cup from the cabinet.

    He knew he was allowed to do this, but it still made him nervous; he felt like he was intruding in someone else's space and he didn't like it.

    There was a loud sneeze behind him, making him drop the glass, shattering it on the counter. Pieces of glass scattered along the marble and skittered onto the floor. Calum screamed, turning around to see what had scared him and jumping when a confused Ashton was standing behind him holding his arm in front of his nose.

    Calum could feel tears threatening to spill, he just knew Ashton was going to be mad at him, he'd broken something that wasn't his.

    What if they were so mad they sent him back to isolation? He wasn't being good by going around breaking their things. He didn't think he could handle that again, it had broken him the last time.

    He wouldn't be able to live through another disappointed look from Luke, the anger from Michael and Ashton. They'd be so disheartened by his being bad, he knew they'd hate him.

    Luke walked onto the scene, being drawn towards the kitchen after hearing the scream. "What's going—"

    "No, p-please, I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" Calum pleaded, dropping to his knees, ignoring the fact that one of the shards of glass dug into his pale skin through Michael's sweatpants.

    "Ash, what's happening?" Luke questioned, looking at the scene in front of him.

    Ashton sniffed.

    "Not sure, I sneezed and he freaked and dropped the cup,"

    "What else did you do?" he accused. Ashton had a tendency to intimidate Calum, Luke wondered if there was something he missed.

    Ashton scoffed.

    "Nothing else, that really is all that happened. He was digging around the cabinets when I walked in,"

    Calum wailed again, sure they were mad he was going through their things.

    "D-didn't mean t-t-to,"

    Luke looked at Ashton.

    "Are you sure—"

    "Yeah, I'm sure, I told you what happened—"

     "Y-y-ou s-said I c-c-could—"

    "I d-didn't m-mean to—"

    "OI!" Michael shouted, walking inside to find the commotion.

    There was broken glass everywhere, Luke and Ashton were arguing, Calum was crying on the floor, bleeding a little, and begging. He set the grocery bag on the counter.

    "What the fuck is happening? Everyone quiet." He commanded when they all started carrying on at the same time. Michael looked to Calum who couldn't keep that little whimpers from spilling out his lips.

    "What happened, my love, why are you on the floor?" Thankful he was still wearing his shoes, he stepped through the glass and lifted Calum by his arms, gently brushing the shards from his knees and palms.

    He started blubbering incomprehensible statements.

    "Okay, why don't you relax, take some deep breaths, and we'll come back to you," Michael said, still holding him up. Calum was leaning heavily against him, taking erratic breaths to try to calm himself. "One of you, tell me what all this yelling is about."

    "I walked in when Calum was in here, sneezed, and it must have scared him. He dropped the cup and then got hysterical. Luke came in and started yelling at me for something,"

    Luke gasped.

    "I didn't yell at you, I was trying to get to the bottom of what's going on," he snapped, glaring at Ashton.

    "You told me you thought I did something to him, you basically were asking why I was making him so upset,"

Calum whimpered, pressing his cheek further into Michael's chest. He didn't like it when they argued, it scared him.

    "Okay, both of you cool it, you're upsetting Cally," Michael brushed Calum's curls back from his face and tilted his head to look at him. "I'm sorry you got scared, baby, why are you crying?"

    "D-don't want you t-to be m-mad at m-me," Calum whispered. "Don't w-want to s-s-sit alo-one again,"

    Michael's heart hurt. He took a look at this broken boy and really hoped they could build him back up again.

    "Don't worry, love, we're not going to make you sit alone over this, it was an accident. Ashy scared you, huh?" he ran his fingers through Calum's hair, smiling when he nodded with a pout. "That's okay, it wasn't done on purpose by either of you, no one is upset okay, baby? You're fine," he cooed. They stood for a couple moments before Michael realized they were still standing in the middle of a mess. "Lukey and Ash are going to clean the kitchen as punishment for arguing, and you and me are going to sit in the living room and relax for a bit, how's that sound?" Calum smiled softly at the idea, relishing in the fact that they weren't mad, he wasn't in trouble, and he was getting a reward instead of punished.

    "Why do we have to?"

    "Because, you scared the baby. And arguing is childish. Now, get to work." Michael grabbed the apple from the counter, figuring that was something Calum had gotten for himself, and they went and sat down, leaving his other two boyfriends grumbling as they fixed the mess.

    They joined the other two once the mess was cleaned, and Ashton tried to sit next to Calum, who shifted closer to Michael, ensuring he wasn't touching the other man.

    "What's wrong, baby?" He asked. "Why are you acting like you're scared of Ash?"

    Calum shrugged. He remembered how he felt when Ashton and Luke were arguing instead of trying to make him feel better. Michael made him feel better, and he stopped them from fighting. He felt safe with Michael; what if Ashton started yelling again?

    "It's okay, you can stay with me," Michael pulled Calum's legs so they were resting over his lap and he was tucked into Michael's chest. Calum smiled happily up at him, making Michael's heart flutter. Ashton glared at him. "Ashy gets mad sometimes, but it's okay, he would never hurt you, and I'll always be here to help you," Michael told him.

    "Cal, I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean it," Ashton apologized, but it came out as a whine. Calum nodded, accepting his apology, but he still didn't want to get off Michael. Even though he was kind of crunched over, he was comfortable and happy.

    "You like sitting here with me?" Michael gloated, shooting Ashton a smirk when Calum nodded before focusing his attention on the movie. "Do you want Ashton to sit with us?" He tensed before shrugging. "No, you'd rather just sit with me for now," Michael wrapped his arm around him. "That's okay, it's fine like this."

    Ashton huffed, moving over to the other edge of the couch and watched the movie.

    "This is boring, let's find something better," Ashton reached for the remote, but Michael stopped him.

    "No, I like it, keep it,"

    "This is stupid, can't we find something we all like?"

    "Cally," Michael sang, tipping the boy's head so he could look into his eyes. "Are you enjoying the movie? I really like it, what do you think?"

    Ashton huffed. "Not fair, you're pressuring him,"

    "No I'm not, I'm asking if he likes it, don't you Cal?"

    He nodded. "I like it," He said in a small voice.

    "Hah! It stays then,"

    Ashton looked to Luke, hoping at least he would be on his side, but Luke was reading a book and probably wouldn't care about what they watched anyway.

    Calum liked that Michael was being so nice to him today. He knew he'd get over it and get over being uncomfortable around Ashton and Luke, but for now, he was basking in the comfort from Michael. He really needed it, the extra care and cuddles and love.

Then he had a thought, what if Michael was only being nice to him to get him to get him to go along with things? Would he do something like that?

    After all, the man did agree with the crazy idea of killing people. Michael was on their side, maybe this was all a trick to get him to go along with them. He tensed, no longer feeling safe with him. He wanted to crawl off, hide in his room under blankets and pillows, but they would get suspicious, and he was trying his best to be good so he could escape.

    Michael noticed Calum was withdrawing when the movie ended and he was caught in his thoughts, but he didn't say anything. He had to be careful, or else they would lose him forever.

***

Cally is so confused and it hurts my soul 🥹💔 if I could ever write an unproblematic character without trauma, that'd be cool. Sorry for the emotional damage y'all.

Yesterday I took two exams so I decided even though finals are in one week, I needed a break and thus, an update.

~ashtonfortherwin