AAAAAH! I'm so so sorry it took so long to do this chapter! It's just the fact that I'm so busy and the fact that I wanted to have this chapter be PERFECT for you all! I really wanted this chapter to feel real and get all the emotions right! So I was working on this ALL THE TIME when I could.

I'm taking a lot of hard classes this year. (AP US History, Chemistry, and Honors classes.) And then I have Band, (Y'all, I can play a shitty Clarinet.) and Choir and Show Choir (Fun Fact about me: I've been to multiple state things and have been taking lessons since I was 10!) and then there's just editing in general  and yeah!

So I'm sorry that it took so long. I'll try to post at least every 2 weeks (hopefully not more) And I promise I WILL NEVER GIVE UP THIS STORY! I LOVE WRITING IT AND ALSO I HAVE MY COMPUTER PROGRAMED SO THAT MY GOOGLE DOC FOR MY STORY COMES UP FIRST!

By the way, I LOVE ALL OF YOU PRECIOUS CUTIES SO MUCH!!! I love hearing what you have to say and knowing that you like this makes me very happy! 

Also, I cried a couple times making this chapter. You'll probably see why, but no spoilers!

Enjoy!

~~~

"Good night Natsu! Sleep beautiful dreams!" Lucy called to the boy that she held so dear as she walked away with her friends who were waiting for her.

Looking up she saw the sky so black and stars so bright, it was as if she was in the Celestial World herself. Taking a deep breath of the fresh night air, she took in her surroundings.

Here, there was chirping of crickets. The peeping of frogs. The hoots of owls. Even the chattering of bats was calming, they were cool since they got rid of mosquitoes. And the sky was so clear once they were out of the forest where beautiful ancient trees loomed over them that she could see the end of Leo's constellation and the beginning of Virgo's. And although it was a bit chilly, it wasn't too bad. Everything was so peaceful. Even though Lucy was afraid of the dark, she loved the sky at night and the beauty of it all. She loved the star-gazing, the animals, the quietness of it all...

At least it was quiet until the teasing began once the girls were out of the woods.

"'Nothing happens between us' my ass!" Levy smirked and winked at Lucy and bumped her hip against Lucy's, making the blonde nearly hit Juvia and fall down on her butt. "That was some adorable shit back there Lu!"

"Very true! Juvia was trying to hold back from having a heart attack!" The water mage squealed, holding her cheeks and swaying side to side. "It was so cute!"

"I don't know what you mean! T-that was all friendly fun! I was just helping him!" Lucy cried, even though her cheeks betrayed her. She couldn't deny that she found it adorable. Her heart was still racing after what just happened.

She sped forward and pulled the hood of her jacket over her head, not wanting to let her friends see her rosy face, fidgeting nervously with a lock of hair that had started to fall out the braid that she had. A habit that she wished she didn't have. Didn't they tease her enough when she first came? Her sneakers made squelching sounds as she stepped into a little bit of mud though she didn't mind too much. It'll dry off. Oh, how she couldn't wait to go to sleep. Honestly she could probably lay down on the ground and sleep with how tired she was, even though they could easily see Fairy Hill's now. There were no lights through the windows but the outdoor lamps helped light the way.

"Yeah, sure~..." Levy said sarcastically, smirking as she walked beside Lucy.

"I'm serious!" Doing her "Kitty Cat" stance as Natsu likes to call it, that she does when she's flustered.

"Juvia saw the way you look at each other," She said, putting both her hands on Lucy's shoulders making the blonde stop in her tracks, and looking her dead in the eye. "Your eyes were all lovey-dovey. You look at each other like the other is the most important thing in the world. That's why you and Natsu should kiss and be together forever!"

"H-he doesn't look at me Lovey-Dovey! That's just how he always looks at me!" She said as she gently took Juvia's hands off of her shoulders.The blonde's chocolate eyes popped open when she realised what she just said and blushed even harder. Especially at the grins the bluenettes were giving her. Dammit, why do she have to be so weird? "Wait, no! Let me rephrase that! I-Ugh! I didn't mean it that way! I-I..." She slumped over and sighed in defeat, lost for words. "Look," she said, smiling while crossing her arms around her clothes that she took from Natsu in a nervous way as cool breeze blew past her. "Thank you for your support in my love life. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends like you... But even if he ever were to have feelings for someone, it wouldn't be for me. He just doesn't think of me that way..."

I wouldn't think of me that way...

Juvia and Levy looked at each other, both of their eyebrows quirked up in a questioning manner. How could Lucy not see how much Natsu cares about her? The blunettes started to giggle.

Did she really not see it?

Lucy looked up at the laughing girls, startled by the sudden noise. Why were they laughing? Did they think that Natsu liked someone else? Did they know that he liked someone else? Lucy shuffled her feet. She has been telling herself that so then she wouldn't get her hopes up. So then it won't hurt so much when it's true. But... She still had some hope. Did they think that-

"Oh, c'mon Lu!" Levy said, bringing Lucy out of her thoughts as she slung her arm over the blonde's shoulders, a toothy smile shining upon her face. The Blunettes had stopped laughing once they noticed the blonde's reaction to their mirth. They really thought she was joking when she said that. "Have faith! You are destined to be together! And like Juvia said, the way you look at each other says it all! That boy loves you! It just takes time! Cheer up! Soon," The solid-script mage deepened her voice and paused to make a pose as if she were an dramatic philosopher or a Shakespearean actor (Classics that Lucy and Levy both enjoyed), she kneeled mid-lunge and draped her forearm over her forehead while her other hand pointed up toward the sky. Her finger shined as she casted a solid script spell. The word 'GLITTER' appeared above her head, a big 'POOF' sounded as shining specks began to rain around her. "They will be writing songs, plays, poems, and everything in between about your glorious love for one another. The tales of your love shall resonate throughout the heavens!"

"Levy!" Although the silly display that her friend just did was quite embarrassing, she couldn't help but laugh at the dramatic scene. She was a sucker for over-the-top goofy humor. You could just say something in a funny voice or say some sassy phrase and you could make Lucy laugh her laugh that sounded like twinkling bells. Juvia was hunched over, clutching her stomach as she was laughing too.

"Philosopher Levy has spoken!" Juvia said between her laughter, placing her right hand where her heart was, her left posing straight up in a 'Ta-da!' sort of fashion towards Levy. "Your tales will be written in the stars. To which it will be known by every being!"

Lucy was straight up cackling at this point. The bluenettes smiled at the blonde who was trying to stifle the giggles under her hand but failing, for their mission was complete. They had made their friend laugh.

"Very true, fellow philosopher Juvia! Especially with the book that you are writing, Lucy!"

"You guys are so silly!" Lucy stopped laughing once she realised what Levy said and coughed from surprise. "Wait, what?! Levy!"

"I mean that is what you are writing about." Levy smirked.

Juvia gasped then fist pumped. "Juvia knew it!"

"Noooo," Lucy groaned. "Please, don't tell anyone! I'd be so embarrassed!"

"Juvia promises not to tell anyone!"

"Also, you think we're SILLY!" Levy shouted, she pointed at Lucy and she acted like she was insulted, her voice lowering again. "We are the Almighty Philosophers! Never question us!"

"Never question the Almighty Philosophers! We speak the truth!" Juvia said, wiggling her arms as if they were noodles and pointed them towards Levy.

"Okay, Almighty Philosophers whatever you say," Lucy said, her tone teasing and a bright smile on her face.

"It is whatever we say!" Levy smirked, still pointing her finger at Lucy. "And I for one say we go to bed! I'm tired!"

They made their way to the door, stomping their shoes in case there was any muck in them. The door opened with a click once the residents of Fairy Hills signed in. Since all the lights were off they fumbled around trying to get up the stairs to the 2nd floor, causing more mirth between the girls. Levy hit her 'Funny-Bone' when she tripped on the the first step and was cussing like a sailor. Only when they found the railing (And when Levy stopped cursing) were they able to make their way up.

As they finally tiptoed into Levy's room, it was dark as they noticed that the rest of the girls were sprawled out sleeping. Some light and loud snoring (Cough cough, Erza) and a few murmurs sounded throughout the dark room. The girls must've cleaned up the popcorn and the ruined blanket fort while they were outside.

That was sweet of them, Lucy thought, feeling slightly bad that she wasn't there to help clean up the mess too.

"It seems as though they are all asleep..." Levy whispered, her silhouette looking around the room where there were sleeping bags and cushions that were being slept on.

"Then we should be quiet..." Juvia murmured, as she stayed close to Levy's shoulders.

Lucy, Levy, and Juvia carefully tiptoed around a curled up Wendy with Carla in her arms (Lucy felt so bad! She nearly stepped on the poor girl when she lost her balance!), a Mirajane who was sprawled out in a humorous way (Juvia was shushed by Levy when she giggled) and finally a Cana that was...sleeping in only her bra and underwear, which wasn't much different from her usual attire. After they maneuvered their way around the others, they found uncovered ground where they wouldn't have to step around people.

"You guys wait here. I'm gonna go get some more stuff that will be comfy to sleep on," Levy whispered softly.

As Levy padded to the storage/emergency closet that the girls always had access to, Lucy looked at the clothes in her arms, squinting she used a small hallway light to see them better. There was her blue T-shirt, a pink and yellow tank top, and... Her blanket! She must've forgotten it at home! Natsu must've grabbed it when he was playing "Ninja".

It was a white fabric that had once been a part of her mother's silk nightgown. When Lucy was little, she would always snuggle up with her mama, so when she died it was hard for her to sleep, so Ms. Spetto had made her mama's nightgown into a little blanket for her to sleep with. And although Lucy was slightly embarrassed that she was eighteen and still sleeping with a little blanket, it gave her comfort. It made her feel like her mama was still there...

Lucy looked at the old, faded white silk blanket mournfully. What would mama think of her now? Would she be proud? Would she be happy with who Lucy's become? Her mama was always so kind and full of laughter, there was joy in every nook and cranny of that house. But when she died, all that joy seemed to go with her. Everything in that household had turned dark and gloomy. It became a breeding ground for bitterness and sorrow. A bottomless pit of despair. All because her papa couldn't stand to see his own daughter after his wife was gone...

Lucy clutched the blanket closer to her chest, squeezing her eyes shut. Yes, she had forgiven her father for what he had done but...The sadness that was created in that home was still lingering in her heart. Her father would only want to talk to her when there was a business proposal or when she had done something bad (which wasn't very often.) And even when he was "talking" to her he wasn't facing her. As if he couldn't stand to see her...

"What did Natsu take?" Juvia peeked over Lucy's shoulder to get a closer look, startling Lucy out of her thoughts.

Lucy hesitated, not knowing how Juvia may react to knowing that she still slept with a blanket. "Oh, just a couple of shirts and my blanket that...that I like to sleep with." Lucy winced, expecting ridicule.

Though she got quite the opposite. "Aww, Lucy sleeps with something too!" Juvia cooed quietly, then walked over to her yellow and blue bag that held her belongings. She came back carrying something in her arms. She smiled as she shoved a doll that was obviously sewn with care. Lucy would know. She had to take sewing classes, among the many other classes she had to take to become the "Perfect wife for the suitors".

Juvia took the doll out of Lucy's face and squished it with a massive hug, rubbing her face against it. "Juvia likes to sleep with her darling Gray doll. He makes Juvia feel safe! Juvia likes to pretend that it's the real Gray..." She fidgeted with the little doll's arms, a sad smile adorning her face. "Since, you know... He doesn't care for Juvia. But Juvia still loves him! He took her rain away!"

Lucy's heart ached for her friend. Juvia was always pining after Gray and giving him affection, but with Gray's distant personality he didn't know how to react. He was, well...Awkward. It's obvious that he cares for her, the shy looks in her direction, the reddened cheeks. Gray wouldn't spend the time he does with her if he didn't like her. If only he would admit that he likes her. It was obviously hurting her.

Lucy thinks it's starting to hurt him too.

"Oh Juvia, Gray likes you!" She put her hands on Juvia's shoulders so that they would see eye to eye and smiled. "He just isn't good when it comes to his feelings, that's all. He doesn't know how to act or what to say! You're a very sweet and affectionate person, which he really isn't used to. So he's shy about his emotions. Remember that time when Lyon kept on trying to ask you out at the Grand Magic Games?"

"Yes," Juvia says, her fair cheeks turning rosy at the memory. "Juvia remembers that happening..." Lyon was a good person but she didn't like Lyon in that way. And although she found his advances sweet, Juvia's love was only for her darling Gray!

"Well, then that means that you remember how Gray was yelling at Lyon for asking you that. He was jealous~!" Lucy winked. She hoped that this statement would cheer up her friend.

Juvia's face brightened at the thought of him being jealous but then dimmed as she thought about how the Ice-Make mage said different. She turned away from Lucy's compassionate face, pulling the little "Gray" closer to her body. "Juvia's overjoyed with your kind words, but my darling was only saying that because he didn't want Juvia to go to Lamia Scale and be on their team...He's quite competitive!"

"That's what he said to you! In the hotel, it was a whole other story. He'd ask stuff like 'You don't really think Juvia will leave Fairy Tail and be with Lyon, right?' and he'd often get annoyed and start complaining about Lyon out of the blue. 'Who does that prick think he is?! He can't just do that to her.'" Lucy made impressions of Gray, making Juvia laugh. "Natsu actually got quite annoyed of it and of course, started a fight that Erza ended. So don't give up hope! Like I said, he cares about you, he's just more discreet about it. Anyways," Lucy beamed and gave Juvia a hug, startling the blunette. "How could anyone not love ya Juvia!"

Once Juvia got over the shock from Lucy's hug, she immediately squeezed the blonde back. Juvia was so happy and grateful to have such good friends. She was happy to be with Fairy Tail. Yes, Gray is her one and true love and made the rain go away but it was also her friends like Lucy who make her life even better.

"You're so kind Lucy," Juvia said. "Thank you!"

"Anytime. I'll always be here when you need me."

"GROUP HUG!" Soon there was another pair of arms wrapped around the two girls. Levy saw an opportunity and she took it. A big shining grin on her face. A couple of giggles came from Juvia's lips and then Lucy's and eventually Levy's. It seems like their other friends were heavy sleepers huh?

Once their laughter ceased Levy bent down and picked up 3 woolen patchwork blankets and 3 pillows and walked toward a large inflatable mattresses laid."Here's some blankets you two! I think we all need to get some rest, especially after the wild night we just had! I know I do! So, G'night! Sleep tight!" With that Levy pulled back the blanket and slid underneath it. She laid down on her stomach, falling asleep quite quickly. Her hair up in a messy ponytail to keep it from tangling while she slept. Unlike others, she never got scared at night. She always felt safe, as if there was some sort of guardian angel watching over her...

"Juvia couldn't agree more Levy! Good night everyone!" She whispered. And she too curled up to sleep. Wriggling cutely as she laid on her side, squishing the 'Gray' Doll one last time before she relaxed completely.

"Yeah... G'night..." Lucy said, as she laid in between them, her little silk blanket in her arms. She preferred laying on her side, (with her bust and all) and liked curling herself up. When she found her perfect position, she closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind so that she could sleep and think of nothing but calming thoughts. So of course, all that ran through her head was Natsu's adorable goofy grin...

Oh, and the fact that she was freezing! I should've worn the thermal pajamas instead! Most of the time Lucy would wear some old T-shirt and gym shorts to bed but since it was a sleepover she decided to wear something more 'cute'.

Lucy tried tucking herself into the blanket more and curled up into a tight ball, trying to keep any escaping heat in, but she still shivered! Her teeth were starting to chatter and she swore that her feet were ice. She even tried tucking her head under the covers and yet she was still cold! For a short while longer, she tried to tough out the strange flush of cold, hoping that she would eventually warm up. After around a half an hour later though, she could swear that her lips were blue.

She couldn't take it anymore. At this rate she may as well have hypothermia. Poking her head out from under the covers, she whispered "Uh, Levy? A-are you awake?"

When Lucy didn't get an answer she asked again, no response. Again she asked, this time she poked her fellow bookworm in the shoulder. "Huh?" The girl in question finally woke up, her voice low from sleep. She yawned and rolled over to face Lucy, rubbing her eyes slightly. "What doya need, Lushy?"

"I'm r-really c-cold. Do you have anymore b-blankets?"

"Sorry Lu. We only got enough for the people who live here. With Laki and Kinana not here, it means that there are blankets for you and Bisca. Since you two are the only girls who don't live here. We could share though."

"Juvia will share too! But Juvia's keeping her Gray doll!" Juvia eying the both of them.

"T-thanks you g-guys!" They piled their blankets together, so then they were close together but weren't touching. But it still wasn't enough for Lucy. She still shivered. It was better than before, but she still felt so cold...

Ha, maybe I should've let Natsu stay here... He would keep me warm...He always does... She smiled softly.

Everything about him was warm. His forest green eyes seemed to melt right through her. His heart-stopping grin set her on fire. His large rough hands that most would only see as raging flaming fist, she saw the soft side of them. The side that gently held her. The side that carried her off to new adventures....

Honestly, people think that they know the real Natsu when really they only knew a small part of him. He really loves chocolate sundays even though they would always melt on him. How he cares about everyone he meets, making new friends wherever he goes. How he's passionate about nearly everything he does. How his eyes get all squinty when he grins. How his pink hair seemed to stick up in every single direction. The way he'll occasionally snorts while he laughs. How he treats Happy as if Happy was his son. How strong he was and how he protects everyone, herself included. How he's actually a lot smarter than you think, sure he isn't a scientist but it's not like he's completely stupid.

It kinda made Lucy sad thinking about how much the guild doubts him. She knew it made him sad sometimes, no matter how much he tries to hide it, she knew that it bothered him. The way he'd tense up and then relax as if nothing happened and agree with whatever the others said. She remembers hearing about how the guild used to tease him because he couldn't read very well from Mira. It broke her heart thinking about anyone making fun of him. He was so sweet. Sure, he was a knucklehead most of the time, but he always followed his heart and does what he feels is right. He thinks of others before he thinks of himself. She always wells up with happiness and pride when she sees him.

She wanted him to be happy when he sees her too...She ducked her head underneath the blanket yet again to keep warm, Levy and Juvia sleeping soundly beside her. Deep and even breathes coming from their warm bodies.

Wow, now she sounded like the sad dumb girls that are pining after the lead male in one of those dramatic soap operas that her landlady likes to watch, the exact thing that she didn't want to be.

She wanted to be strong like the rest of Fairy Tail. She wanted to be someone who could bring pride to the guild and the people she cared about, at least a little bit. She wanted to make people happy and keep them safe. She wanted them to be able to count on her for anything...

But that's the thing, she didn't know what she could do to better herself for it... She knew she was weaker than most but she was still strong! Yet people still talk to her and treat her as they do. She always seemed to be the butt of the joke to others.

And it doesn't help with all the "merchandise" of her!

In Sorcerer Weekly, the only stuff she does for it is model. How come everyone else gets a cool article about them and all she gets to do is model and then during the Grand Magic Games, the one time she gets an article, it talks about her "stats"! While Natsu gets his explosiveness as his extra and Erza with her swordsmanship, Lucy gets cleavage! FUCKING CLEAVAGE! Is that the only thing they care about? It's embarrassing and degrading! Yes, she's grateful for all the opportunities she gets from the magazine, but why is she the one who gets made a fool of?

And it doesn't help with the fact that there was a literal doll of her where her clothes came off! And oh boy, was that popular! It sold out in a number of days and was best-seller for quite a while. The worst part of it was the fact that men would see if she would take her clothes off like the doll. Some would even try to take it off themselves! These were the times when she wasn't so mad at Natsu and Happy when they walked along with her wherever she went, (Although Natsu put a man in full body cast and who now needs constant care from the hospital and apparently breathes out of his navel, but Lucy (and many others for that matter) yelled at him for that. How he wasn't arrested she'll never know and almost wants to keep it that way.) and Max, though reluctantly from the amount of money that it gave him, took down the dolls and made sure that they were no longer made. But it still made her so upset that she was the only one who had a doll as degrading as that! All the other girls got dolls that had cool action shots. Erza had her holding her sword stoically, looking like she was going to strike anyone who opposed her. Mira had one of her in her Satan Soul form, about to launch a ball of darkness on her foes. Juvia had one of her holding a pearly water-lock, making her look menacing and badass. Levy had one of her standing in position to make a solid script spell. Wendy had a green magic circle (It glowed in the dark) underneath her as she had a healing spell stance. But nope! Lucy got one of her skipping and where her clothes come off!

And don't even get her started on all the outfits that she somehow ends up with, and, usually, she somehow ends up with no outfit at all because it gets ripped or burned or just plain disappears! There's the bunny outfit she wears for Gajeel, the cat outfit she wore for that old lady for Erza (Why did it have so revealing? If she wanted the jewelry to be delivered by a cat girl, there are something less revealing at a costume store!).

Why did people do stuff like this to her?! Honestly, the only experiences that she had with "Fans" were men who would not stop drooling over her and got way too touchy-feely which made her very uncomfortable. The rest were sneers and laughter and hate...

She rubbed her arms under the wool, hoping to warm herself up. She felt awful for feeling this way and as much as she didn't want to think like that, she couldn't help but feel jealous of her teammates and friends. First, there's the fact that they're so strong in general, and then there's all the admiration they got. Walking into towns for missions, it wasn't uncommon for a fan of Natsu, Erza, Gray, Wendy, Carla, or Happy to stop them and ask for an autograph or a picture. What really hurt is when on occasion, the fan would ask for a picture of the whole team and then would ask for Lucy to step out of it or to ask her to take the picture...It was nice for the fact that her team said that it was "all of us or nothing" but it still hurt the fact that people didn't want her there.

Looking up at the patterns of the blanket that laid over her, she sighed.

She just didn't get it....

Is it because of my body that people think of me so poorly? She looked down at herself underneath the blanket, still shivering. It wasn't Lucy's fault that she looks the way she does. Do you think she likes having the bust she has? She has to get her bras personally made for her because they don't have sizes bigger than a DD cup in most stores around here. They are not cheap! And the fact that she also has a very small waist made it even worse! Also even with the bras, they're still uncomfortable. Back issues, the uncomfortable "Jiggle" whenever she simply moves, the constant gaping she got for them, she couldn't hug people or lay on her belly comfortably. It all sucked. She's tried binding in the past to make them less in the way but was scolded by her friends for doing something like that to her body.

But... That can't be the reason for all the doubt and ridicule? But there were many other, um, well-endowed girls in the guild. Why do they just treat me like that? She thought.

Every girl in her guild was beautiful, no doubt about that. Unlike me, of course. She thought, a sneer appearing on her face. Lucy poked her head out under the covers, looking around the room at her friends who were sleeping soundly. Hell, some of the more bustier women in the guild were part of S-Class...

Like I'll ever get the chance ... I'm nothing...

A burning lump started to form in her throat and her vision blurred as her eyes started to fill with hot tears. NO! NO! NO! This is exactly what you don't want to fucking do! She shouted at herself, curling up under the blanket yet again. She pressed her fists into her forehead as if to pound the feelings out of her. Her face twisting as she gritted her teeth. THIS is why people see you as weak! THIS is why people see you the way they do! THIS is why you're so useless! THIS is why no one cares about you! You just let the Guild down! You're supposed to be OKAY! Not doing the very thing that makes everyone hate you for! THIS is why you are a laughing stock! THIS is why no one request for you on jobs! Get it together, you shitty excuse of a mage! She was only making everyone she cared about look bad. She was being a burden to them. She started to meditate, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth and concentrated on only that, trying to calm herself down. Forcing her stupid fucking feelings away.They were getting her nowhere. They weren't important anyways...

You're trying to better yourself, not make it worse.

Once she was able to breathe at least comfortably again, she thought about other reasons why people thought the way they did about her. It can't be because of the fact that I'm a Celestial Wizard...Right? Wait, that can't possibly be it!, She thought shoving her face into the pillow, not wanting the girls to hear the quiet whimper she released. Magic has nothing to do with it! There was Karen, Loke said that she was strong and that she was admired. And Yukino! And let's not forget Angel. Granted that Lucy won against her in a battle, but still she had the help of Hibiki! She wouldn't have won if not for him... Fucking hell, HER OWN MOTHER! SHE WOULD BE ROLLING IN HER GRAVE IF SHE SAW WHAT SHAME LUCY HAS BROUGHT TO CELESTIAL WIZARDS! Her mom was so strong and so kind, everyone loved her...

Lucy looked down through her blurred vision at the small cloth in her arms. She bit her lip, trying to keep it from trembling. Her petite shivering body tense, trying to keep all the emotions she had inside of her, where they belong. Where they'll never come to light.

Even more, all those other celestial wizards, former or still, had or has no more than 3 Celestial Spirits or less. LUCY HAS FUCKING TEN! And yet, while those who give her kindness that she doesn't even deserve, said that it was amazing how she had that many and how she has even been with the Celestial King. Her celestial spirits must be ashamed of who they work with. Still with so many spirits, she couldn't do anything...

In every match Lucy did during the Grand Magic Games, she was beaten to a pulp. She lost every single one. Yeah, Raven Tail cheated twice in her match, but she should've tried harder! If it had been anyone else they would've won easily. She stayed in the water war and got 2nd place only because Minerva wanted to beat and embarrass her. And after that she couldn't even participate anymore because she was so badly beaten. After she had been in the infirmary and taken, the guild was winning and doing so well... She was holding them back...

An image of Bisca came into her mind. The look of compassion and care on her face when she thanked Lucy, Lucy couldn't help but feel worse for some reason. Lucy looked over at where she was sleeping. Still in her pigtails, the green-haired girl sighed softly as she cuddled her pillow. The fact that Bisca was so happy and grateful, she didn't understand. Bisca shouldn't be thanking her. Lucy didn't do anything.

I don't ever do anything!

A single tear slipped. Only one, but it was one too many for her. She immediately wiped her face fervently, trying to get rid of any indication that the little droplet was ever there in the first place. But then another fell... and another... and another....

She couldn't wipe them fast enough.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Wait... Her shivering body froze it's trembling, as her mind turned to a complete halt.

I am what's wrong...

People think of me this way because of who I am.

The dam that was holding back Lucy's tears broke as hot little waterfalls started to stream down Lucy's cheeks, her usually bright face crinkled in sorrow. She again shoved her face into the pillow, salty tears staining the fabric. She shrunk, trying to be as small as possible. Sobs racking her body, heaving in shaking trembling breaths. Shivering from the cold...

It's me... I'm what's wrong...

There's no fix or bettering herself with that. She's been trying so hard to be strong. To not cry. To not be scared. To not be hurt. She's been holding everything back trying to be better...

And yet here she was, crying like a small child.

Of course! I'm so fucking stupid! It's because of I'm just some weak, selfish, dumb, annoying, useless, ugly blonde bimbo! I just make everything worse! I don't deserve to be a celestial mage! I don't deserve to be in Fairy Tail! I don't deserve to have friends! Especially ones that are kind enough to put up with my dumbass! They're too good for me!

I don't deserve anything! No wonder people hate me... She thought.

I hate me too...

She didn't even try to meditate. After all she was a cry baby. That was what she was to the people right?! No matter what she does or will do people will still think the same way about her. She could (though unlikely. She was too weak remember?) take down one of Zeref's demons like Deliora or Lullaby and people would still treat and think of her as they do. It didn't matter! She didn't matter! She was just the weak link in Fairy Tail and Team Natsu.

Hell, the very reason why she was in the guild in the first place is because Natsu took pity on her. And the reason why she was in Team Natsu is because he needed a blonde for the job to get Daybreak. From there, he just was probably too nice to kick her off the team...

Damnit! She probably looked even more ugly now than already does. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. Snot was coming down her nose. She was sobbing and hiccupping dumbly. She took the heel of her palm to rub her face.

Mavis, I'm such a fucking idiot! To think that she was worthy of Fairy Tail when she was younger...

From here on she wept underneath the blanket, just releasing her sorrows that were consuming her. Her thoughts polluted with shame, disgust, and misery. She's surprised that no one had heard her. Just as her tears seemed to finally run out, her feeling dehydrated, she noticed it became lighter through the blanket. She came out from underneath the blanket and sure enough, the sun coming up over the hill through the window.

Damnit! I look like shit and I didn't get a wink of sleep last night!

Lucy grumbled quietly. She decided that she should just stay awake instead of going back to sleep and that she should probably try to not look like she was just crying her eyes out like she just was. She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to be even more of a burden than she already was to her friends...

"It's gonna be okay-" she whispered to herself.

"RISE AND SHINE!"

Lucy shrieked, along with nearly every girl there, and nearly jumped 10 feet in the air. Erza was standing in her PJs clanging 2 shields together, a big happy grin on her face.

"Wake up everybody! The sun's out so now we can have fun!" She called. Girls around the room began to groan and put their heads under their pillows trying to block out the noise and get a little bit more sleep.

"But Erza it's so early..." Lisanna said rubbing her eyes, and yawning.

"There's a reason it's a sleepover, Erza," Evergreen said. A green mask across her face and her hair up in curlers. Her arms were crossed across her chest as she sat up. "We're supposed to be sleeping!"

"Yes, it is a sleep over! And that's why your sleep, is over!"

"Erza, just let us sleep~" Levy cried, though it was muffled by her pillow.

"Nonsense! You sleep when it's night time! Now it's daytime!" And again she crashed her shields together once again.

"Love Rival!" Juvia suddenly screamed as her Indigo eyes shot open, startled by the crash and still clutching her Gray doll. "Wha...What is the time?"

"Time to wake up!"

"Erza will you shut it!" Cana groaned, rubbing her head and taking a swig from a bottle. "You're giving me a headache!"

"I'm sorry to say Cana," Wendy spoke politely, looking barely awake. She yawned cutely. "But I don't think Alcohol will help with your headache."

"Sure it does! It helps me with everything!"

"Hey Lucy, are you okay? You don't look so good..." Levy asked. Lucy had gone into a daze for a while, she was just so tired...

"Huh? Oh, I'm just fine! Just peachy!" She laughed sheepishly and stood up from under the covers. She quickly wiped at her face, making it look like she was rubbing her eyes of the sandman's sand, in case there were any extra tears or snot that would blow her cover.

"See?! There you go Lucy! A true sport! She knows how to have fun-Oh dear," Erza said brightly but as she saw Lucy's tired red face, her smile left. She cupped Lucy's face to get a better look. "You do not look well, Lucy."

"That's what I said!" Levy cried.

"What's wrong with Lucy?" Wendy asked, starting towards them. "Is she sick?"

Lucy took Erza's hands off her face as she thought about how she should answer the girls questions. She became anxious with all the eyes on her. I can't let them know. I don't need help. I have to do this on my own. I'm in the way!

"I guess I just didn't get enough sleep last night. The story was so scary! I felt like there was still a ghost out there!" She shook trying to act like she was shivering from fright instead of the cold.

The girls looked skeptically at her, not believing a word she said. Juvia, being a water mage, knew that Lucy had been crying. The lack of moisture in her eyes and the fact that on her pillow, there was her DNA of liquid on there and since there was no acid in the liquid, it could not have been her drooling saliva. Juvia was about to ask if that's really what happened but Cana beat her to it.

"BULLSHIT! You were daydreaming about your boyfriend weren't 'cha?!" Cana cackled.

"Oh yeah! Did Natsu get out of the tree? Is he ok?" Wendy asked, worry on her face.

"Yes, Natsu is fine," Juvia said, sitting up from her relaxed position. Still looking at Lucy. "He is out of the tree."

"You should've left him in there," Erza said, crossing her arms across her chest. The shields that she was banging together were gone. "It would've done him some good."

"Ooooh! What happened?! Tell me, tell me, tell me! Leave out nothing! I got pictures from the window but I didn't get to hear anything!" Mira said, a notepad in her hand. "Juvia, Levy you were there!"

Levy and Juvia looked at each other, both . Levy pointed to Juvia as in a way that they both understood. 'You keep 'em busy. I talk to Lucy.'

"Weeell," Juvia started saying what happened, trying to make it a bit over dramatic. Some girls listened, some went back to sleep in the middle of her story. Lucy decided to not get involved in this one, she wasn't in the mood to be teased. She laid back on where she slept before, placing an arm over her eyes. She wasn't in the mood for a lot of things right now...

"Scary stories kept you up, huh?" Levy spoke to her softly. As the other girls were distracted, she knew that this would be the best time to get answers. Levy knew her friend, and she knew that she was not ok.

Mavis, am I that obvious? A lump started in her throat again. Her brown eyes watered. She felt so cold. For fear of having her voice break, she only nodded to answer Levy's question. She tried to keep her face straight.

"You know, you can tell us if that scary story is bothering you? We'd understand and we'd help you..." Levy then began to rub Lucy's shoulder up and down, trying to give any comfort to her hurting friend.

"I know..." Lucy said so softly that Levy could barely hear it. But she did hear the tremble in Lucy's voice.

"I'm sorry if something happened that upset you-"

"No!" Lucy whispered. "No...It was nothing you did..."

If anything it was something that I did...

Levy just nodded her head. She looked toward the girls who were all wrapped up in Juvia's story.

"You want to go home?"

Lucy thought about this statement and thought about what would happen if she went home. She really didn't feel like socialising right now. Honestly she was so thankful for Levy being there for her. Even though a part of her mind was screaming at her that she was annoying Levy.... It was still nice.

"Yes...Please..." Her voice cracked at the end of her statement, which stabbed at Levy's heart.

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bleh.

So yeah.

Here's my reasoning behind stuff:

Lucy's behavior: So I can relate to Lucy a lot so I just kinda put how I feel sometimes when stuff like this happens I guess. I'm a person who gets easily taken advantage of, people are always asking me for help and I do help them, and sometimes the next day they act like I never did anything for them and it sucks. Kinda the same with Lucy. She is so kind and wonderful and amazing and she always puts others before herself. What's happening here is the fact that since she is so nice, she's not just going to accept the fact that "oh, people are mean." She going to take that blame because she wants to believe that there is good in the world and that everything that's bad that is going on is her fault. I kinda wanted Lucy to think that she can fix what people think of her by trying to fix herself. Not because that's right at all in any way, shape, or form, but it's what people like Lucy would probably think. She is a very kind, loving, sweet, selfless person. And in cases where people are like that, they tend to want to take the blame on themselves because the last thing they want to do is hurt people or do something to make them upset or be a burden to others. Which is what I was kinda trying to portray here. She's being hard on herself because of all the things said to and about her. This later is the reason why she gets so excited and happy that someone requested her to do a job because she feels like she's important and that she can do something which is why when she finds out that Natsu and Happy were following her, she's absolutely devastated. (Basically that whole time she was berating herself was kinda a bit more info and somewhat background knowledge on the feelings that she has been feeling about herself.) (THIS IS TERRIBLY UNHEALTHY THOUGH!!! I TEND TO DO THIS AND I'M WORKING ON IT!)

Juvia: Okay, so I know that Juvia is probably not as close to Lucy as I make her here. But the thing is, I just really love Juvia! She's like my 2nd favorite female character (Lucy being 1st and honestly she's just like favorite character ever in general because she's my queen and I LOVE HER!) Juvia's such a cutie and honestly, it really annoys me when people give her hate too. Like the fact that she loves Gray a lot and the whole "Love Rival" thing. But Juvia is so much more than that! So yeah, she's great. Nobody's gonna tell me otherwise. I also put that Science bit with how she knew Lucy was crying because I like Science. It's cool, It's wack. I'm a nerd.

Levy's Guardian Angel: That's supposed to be Gajeel. Since, ya know, he makes her feel safe!

Lucy's coldness: It's supposed to be because she's without Natsu. Since he always sneaks in to sleep with her, she's used to his warmth. She's used to him. So being without him, she's freezing.

Damn it was really hard to write this chapter because Lucy means so much to me and the fact that people give her so much shit makes me so sad/mad cuz' she's just so amazing and AAAA! I'm not gonna spill my guts on you guys but she means a lot to me and she really helped me when I was younger and now still.

SUPER ULTRA MEGA IMPORTANT! If any of you guys feel like this or maybe you just had a rough day or maybe you just need to talk, DON'T BE AFRAID TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT LIKE LUCY IS! That's really bad for you! What Lucy's doing is unhealthy! You can't just cram all your emotions away! And if you need that someone to talk to, YOU CAN COME TO ME! I don't care if it's out of the blue or if it's just if you want to talk! YOUR HEALTH IS IMPORTANT!!!

But yeah, that's it. I hopefully will get the next chapter up soon!

Please Please Please give feedback!!! I really really want to know what you all think!

Love all of you Precious Cuties