Trigger Warnings: Read at your own risk.

Jared's POV

When I had nothing but her, it was pretty easy to confess...,now I have everything but her with nothing left to confess.

I run for miles and miles on the rough patch of the meadow behind my mansion. It is a long miled privately owned area. I run here and lose myself whenever I have no where else to go, which is quite often.

It is one of those things that keeps my sanity at bay. The earphones are plugged, jamming the music in my ears like I cannot hear anything else. I block the chirping of birds, the crush of twigs beneath my running shoes and the sound of my panting as I reach near the clear blue infinity pool installed at the end of the path.

There's greenery everywhere, it looks no less than a sanctuary. The peace settles in nature between the man made forest but my heart isn't at ease.

It's 6:30 am right now and my gear watch has twenty five notifcations already. I swipe them to side not bothering to read and play Monster song by Image Dragons and start doing push ups intensively.

My muscles stretch, my abs feel heated. Beads of sweat twirl on my temple and bathe my spine but my wifebeater isn't fully wet yet.

I press my ankles down more to increase the pressure and forget every single remnants of her figure in my mind which is obtrusively alive again.

Her long brunette hair, her dark green eyes and tall height. Her smart mouth like none other and her squirmish indents arounds me.

I would be lying if I say that I don't want her. But the last time when I wanted her, I crushed her. My dark past swallowed her present and viped out her reality.

Regret and penance are smaller words in comparison with the crimes I have done. Till date, I cannot come to terms with myself. It was my fault to the end point. I shouldn't have met her, I shouldn't have been naive.

As my muacles cry further into pain and exertion, I taunt and treat myself with harshness.

Why did I give myself to her? Why did I take her innocence away? Why did I believe in us? Why couldn't I foresee the shitstorm my past was capable of?

There are numerous whys that I have no answer to. I thought over the years, by not hearing her name and not knowing about her presence, I would heal. I would forgive myself. But the moment she made appearance as a laughter of my fate on my face, I was throttled back to square one. Everything I have worked for vanished and the strength I built turned out to be a haux.

"I am not going to let you win this time."

I shout and grit my teeth and let the monster inside me flounder and suffer as I punch the trunk with bare fists after being done with push ups.

After 1000 push ups I had lost count and now the trunk helps me bleed.

The blood runs out of knuckles as a reward to what I have endured and endowed on her and her family.

They didn't deserve any bits of it. I was a cursed child and a demonic human.

Further, thin red ribbons turn thicker and numbness settles in slower this time. When the blood stream starts to stop, I hit the trunk once more to torture myself again and again.

The cycle continues for another hour until I am out of energy and can't take it anymore. The ground welcomes my fall and my corpse like stature gazes the empty sky with the sun on the west side, ready to brighten everyone's day.

A lone tear unexpectedly sheds its way out and slides down my cheeks.

I cannot let go of the past.

I cannot let go of her.

I cannot be with her.

"Why did you come back, Micki?"

My voice trembles as I whisper in the shallow meadow that takes away my question as the wind flows.

"How will I face you?  How can I not touch you? It burns and hurts a lot. It was excruciating to see you and touch you that day."

I confess continuously because I know this place is hidden from everyone mostly. No one comes here and no one knows about this except a few trusted people.

This one place has seen me break down worse than a kid who loses his mother and at the same time has stomached my vengeance on itself like today.

The day I met her in my cabin backstage, my heart stopped beating. It couldn't function in the first few moments but my brain spoke out everything it had to.

I somehow controlled myself not to beg her to take me in her arms and let the pain fade away.

But when I touched her, every single part of my existence was crying, the difference being that those tears were all shed and wept from inside. I didn't have the luxury to show it to her and I certainly don't think I ever can.

And I know it isn't her fault and never was. She is still so innocent and unaware. And I maybe one of the richest men in USA right now, but even I don't have that courage to face her when she would know who she is and who I am.

I pray silently to the god, we vowed in front of every sunday in church to be together forever, to keep her happy and let me suffer and reap the sins.

To keep up the façade of being strangers.

Even if it will give me bouts of pain on every breath I would use to survive.

When I am lost in my self apologies, my bluetooth buzzes and I answer the call after 5th ring by clearing my throat as well as nose.

"Speak."

"Good Morning Boss, I have to tell you that it's Monday. Interns are joining today, so you are ought to be on time today. And I have emailed you everything else already for today's schedule."

"Yea, I saw. I will be in office by 10:00. Brief the interns till then and don't be lenient with them."

"Sure boss."

I disconnect the call and grab the same trunk I was hitting before to control the veritgo. My head spins out loud and I remind myself to fix my hands before going to work.
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A/N:

How do you like this Chapter guys?

What do you think happened in Jared and Micki's past?

Why is Micki unaware about it?

Why is Jared so unforgiving to himself?

Will Micki expose Jared or uncover their entangled truth?