Do I exist? Ch 3 OHSHC BXB fanfic

Monday Blues

Itsukis POV

Let's play together, okay? A boy says to me. Is he talking to me?

Play together? As in you and I? The boy nods, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards a backpack.

Yes, let's play volleyball. he enthusiastically says while pulling a ball out of the backpack.

I don't know how to play. he laughs at me, did I say something funny?

That's okay, I'll teach you. he walks a few steps towards me and showed me how to hold my arms in a platform. Good job oh yeah, I forgot to ask what's your name?

Fujioka Itsuki he grins

Nice name, can I call you Suki? I nod, he walks away from me then turns to face me again, cool, I'm Arai, let's play. I put my arms back in the form he showed me.

Why did you want to play with me? I ask him as he tosses the ball to me, I miss.

You looked like you needed a friend. I get the ball that I missed.

Does that mean we are friends? I toss the ball back to him and he sends it back to me in a nice arc.

Ya, from now on were friends. I smile at him for the first time and toss him the ball again. I just made a friend.

ki- Suki, hey wake up, we have to get ready for school A fuzzy Haruhi shakes me out of my dream. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes and nod sleepily at her. I'm going to make our food, get ready. She leaves our shared room and I reach for my glasses. As the world becomes clear, I get out of bed.

I wonder how Arai is doing, I hadn't talked to him since the last day of middle school. If I had a phone I would text him, but alas I don't. Going to the closest I grab the extra uniform the host club gave Haru for emergencies only, but she lets me wear her extra uniform because I don't have one.

Looking at my image in the bathroom mirror, I tame my hair and go through my morning routine. I walk into the kitchen and Haru passes me our lunches. I put them in our bags as she finishes breakfast. Dads probably still asleep, he works the afternoon and evening shifts so he tends to sleep in, we eat quietly as not to wake him. After finishing I quickly rinse the dishes, and we grab our stuff. Slipping on my shoes, I open the door for Haru while the brisk morning air hits my face. The walk to the bus stop is peaceful and so is the bus ride. Once we get on campus Haruhi goes to music room three for the clubs morning meeting, while I head to class.

The first hours of the day crawl by, the classes are boring as ever. I take notes when required, but when it's not required, I just sit and read a brain teaser book and get lost in the pages. I don't even bother to listen to anyone because I know they aren't talking to me. Halfway through the day, I have a free period. Heading to the garden maze, I plop down on a solitary bench.

My usual bench is in a corner of the garden by a red camellia bush. There are other benches but they are by rose bushes. I don't like roses, the smell is too perfumed, the thorns are inconveniencing, and it seems like in all books roses are used as the main flower, do people not realize that there are other flowers in the world?

Pulling out my planner I glance at the sloppily written assignments which I jotted down at the end of each class. looking at tomorrow's date, I see that I just have to do a worksheet for math. listening to music, I start on the singular sheet of math. Getting lost in the numbers on the paper and the words being sung in my ears I start to sing to myself. I never worry about how I sound or if I'll disrupt others with my singing, even if people are nearby they will most likely ignore me or think its someone else.

Once my math is done, I check my watch, I have thirty minutes left. Free period is the only class where I ever pay attention to time. Haruhi insists I always wear a watch, but I attached it to my school bag when at school because I feel uncomfortable wearing things on my wrists. What she doesn't know won't kill her.

I pull out my German assignment, it's due today. German is my first period after lunch and I'm becoming nervous about the peer critical reading part. Who is going to read my paper if no one even acknowledges me? Can I do it myself and make it seem like someone else has read it? That seems like the simplest solution. Once I'm confident I have finished all the components to the project I put everything away, making sure my bag is neat and tidy I pull out a book for the remainder of my free time.

I go to the public library every Sunday and pick out three or four books to read during the week, I also pick out a few manga volumes for when I'm at home. The book I'm reading now is a book I've read a few times and absolutely love. The authors are best friends and they are currently writing the next book in the series, it's taking them forever but if it means the book will be amazing I would rather them take their time.

When the very loud obnoxious bell rings I head to Haruhi's classroom for lunch. The book still in hand, I weave my way through the hall making sure to avoid getting run into. Haruhi is the only one in her classroom by the time I reach her, so I sit down in the empty seat next to her right, she told me that this is where Hikaru normally sits. Pulling out our bentos we eat and make small talk.

Once the warning bell rings, I say goodbye to Haruhi and head to German. I sit right behind Tamaki, and even though he never talks to me it is rather amusing to see what antics he uses in class to annoy Kyoya. I highly doubt he means to annoy him so much and even if the things he blabs about are quite pointless it's still fun to watch. It reminds me that even though I'm alone, others still have friends.

The teacher instructs the class to switch your assignment with the person behind you. I wonder if Tamaki even knows that there's someone behind him, evidently he doesn't since he gives his paper to Kyoya and insists that it's his best work yet and that not reading it would be a crime. Shaking my head at the fact that I must proceed without a partner I begin reading my work with a different perspective in mind, hoping it comes across that someone else wrote the review and not me.

I finish rather quickly and watch the pair in front of me. Kyoya can't seem to get anything done, because with every little note or edit he makes, Tamaki stares over his shoulder and corrects him saying things like that wasn't a mistake, I did that on purpose or you can't deny that this is fabulous work, even for moi, I believe I have exceeded all the limits. There can't possibly be anything wrong with it. Kyoya at some point duly reminds Tamaki that he also must edit Kyoya's and Tamaki scrambles to start even though he only has a few minutes left.

I laugh slightly at them, enjoying the happy vibes surrounding Tamaki, and the ever-present annoyance that hangs around Kyoya. Theyre so close, such good friends, I wish I had that. I wish Arai had gone to a school closer to Ouran, or even that I had a friend here. Maybe I can make a friend, maybe Harus right, I'm just not social enough. As the last few minutes of class tick away I attempt to make a plan to get a friend. I'm sure if I have a friend life would be more interesting and maybe if my new friend has friends I could join the friend group, and then- NOPE. I can't think about maybes and what-ifs. I need to accept reality. I should never hope for such things. In the end, it won't happen and I'll have such an idealized image that when things don't work out my hopes will be shattered and I'll be right back where I am now, alone.

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