[do crime but smart, Monday, 12:37 PM]

Lightning McQueen: in a land of myth

and a time of magic

Roonil Wazlib: the destiny of a great kingdom rests upon the shoulders of a young man

bookworm: his name

Merlin...

Dragon: what just happened

Lightning McQueen: omg r u sirius

you've never watched merlin

Dragon: uhhhh

like on television?

Roonil Wazlib: yes? Where else?

Dragon: idk just checking

Lightning McQueen: ANYWAY

if you ever feel comfy enough to meet irl

we're binging it

Dragon: aw will that be our first date /j

Lightning McQueen: yes

Dragon: where's the slash j

Lightning McQueen: :)

Dragon: anyway you don't even know where I live

Lightning McQueen: well you speak English so you're either American (merlin I hope not) English, or an Aussie

Dragon: ahhh, harry has a brain after all!

Lighting mcqueen: so was I right

Dragon: yes obviously

im English

Lightning McQueen: great then we probably live in the same country

Bookworm: harry please

you watch far too much sherlock

Roonil Wazlib: also ur sounding a bit creepy?

the man hasn't even given us his name and you're deducing where he lives

calm your tits

Dragon: tbh sherlock is a fantastic show, so I don't even blame him

I just think you all might uh not like me

if you knew my name

Lightning McQueen: we'd never judge you?

you've literally seen us at our worst

can't get much worse than us

Roonil Wazlib: yeah plus a name is just a name? Like unless you're gonna tell us you're hitler or something then your probably fine

bookworm: *you're

Roonil Wazlib: whatever

Dragon: if you guys say so

anyway I've got to go, lunch break is over

ttyl

[do crime but smart, 8:28 PM, Monday]

Roonil Wazlib: remember when you threw a traffic cone at my head

Lightning McQueen: nope

Roonil Wazlib: it was a week ago and you almost bROKE MY NOSE

Lightning McQueen: doesn't ring a bell

Dragon: no one would know you're best friends from looking at this group chat

Lightning McQueen: besties 🤞 4life

Roonil Wazlib: i couldnt escape him if i tried

Lightning McQueen: but you love me

Roonil Wazlib: unfortunately that's true

bookworm: i can't believe im married to one of these idiots

Roonil Wazlib: at least you're married to the one with some sense of self-preservation

harry has none of that

Lightning McQueen: you're not wrong

Dragon: i'll be the common sense to your stupid bravery harry

Lightning McQueen: awww

omg are we dating now

jkjk

...unless...

Dragon: first of all aren't we already engaged

second of all you're too chaotic for my calm life

Lightning McQueen: nah i just make life more fun

you're probably bored without me

Dragon: no my life is interesting

i just don't want it to be stupid interesting

bookworm: good choice

Roonil Wazlib: yeah we've had to suffer for like ten years

Dragon: good to know

Lightning McQueen: you're all bullies

Dragon: 😘

[hiss hiss bitches, 10:43 PM, Monday]

Dragon: guys

I think we have a problem

Blazer: no, you have a problem

I have an idiot best friend and a life worth of regrets

Pots n pans: what's the problem love

Dragon: ugh

I've been thinking about how I could've never noticed that potter and his friends are so much fun

Toot toot: never ever expected to hear those words but continue

Dragon: I realized that I uh

I had known

that's why I stalked potter so much

Pots n pans: what

Dragon: yeah my obsession with potter is uh

I think it might be

mildly

hypothetically

romantic????

Blazer: well any of us could've told you that mate

Toot toot: yeah its not really a surprise

Dragon: but you- you were surprised a moment ago?

Toot toot: yeah that you like his friends too

but your crush on him has been obvious since... well, forever

Dragon: wait are you kidding me

Blazer: no lol

anyone with two eyes can tell ur obsessed w each other

Dragon: wait r u saying he likes me too

Pots n pans: what is this, fifth grade?

but yes

yes he is

Dragon: I don't know what to do with this information

Blazer: sleep

you have work in the morning

Dragon: ugh fine

Pots n pans: have fun dreaming about him love

Dragon: no comment