michaelclifford to world's shittiest band

michaelclifford:
if jesus can walk on water
and watermelons are 90% water
anddd, i can walk on watermelons
does that mean i'm 90% jesus
hello
guys ?

ashtonirwin:
if you want my professional opinion, no you're not 90% jesus
but you're 100% high thats for sure

michaelclifford:
i don't even smoke

ashtonirwin:
sureee, because that deranged thought came from a sober man

michaelclifford:
i was having an extistential crisis and my mind went to jesus and watermelons

ashtonirwin:
hmm
do you think of jesus and watermelons often, michael?

michaelclifford:
now that i think about it
yeah probably more than the average dude

ashtonirwin:
well that's great babe
i encourage you to speak to a therapist ❤️
speaking of, i'm off to see mine

lukehemmings:
babe????

michaelclifford:
do i really need therapy guys?

calumhood:
no kitten
ignore ashton
he's jealous of your sexy brain

michaelclifford:
y'all came on the chat out of nowhere damn

calumhood:
i was feeding duke lolz

lukehemmings:
shut up column no one says 'lolz' anymore
and i didn't care to text back until you seduced my boyfriend

calumhood:
fuck off

michaelclifford:
luke
wtf made u believe that i seduced ash?

lukehemmings:
ugh
he called you babe

calumhood:
hate to break it to you buddy but ashton calls everyone that

michaelclifford:
tis true

lukehemmings:
so i'm not special ? ☹️

michaelclifford:
nope

lukehemmings:
is this what heartbreak feels like ?

calumhood:
oh my god you're so dramatic
so your boyfriend is nice to other people, whats the big deal

lukehemmings:
if he's nice to other people someone might get the wrong idea and take him away from me
and then i'll have no choice but to become a criminal

michaelclifford:
ok first of all
what you're saying is that you'd rather ashton be a dick?

lukehemmings:
yeah pretty much

calumhood:
well some people like dicks🤷🏽‍♂️

michaelclifford:
omg calum
second, i don't think ashton could ever love anyone else, luke
he plans on being with you forever, he's told me so

lukehemmings:
interesting
my baby loves me 🥰

ashtonirwin:
of course i do you fucking weirdo

michaelclifford:
hey ash how was therapy

ashtonirwin:
it was great! we talked about my repressed traumas
😒

calumhood:
yikes

lukehemmings:
get well soon ❤️

ashtonirwin:
working on it love

michaelclifford:
well i just think that we haven't made fun of luke in too long

ashtonirwin:
where did that come from? 😂

michaelclifford:
nvm luke's fine
on the other hand
ashton u are the furthest thing from funny when u use that emoji

ashtonirwin:
you mean this 😂 ?

michaelclifford:
yeah

ashtonirwin:
it's literally an emoji???

lukehemmings:
i agree with michael
you remind me of an old straight mom

michaelclifford:
he might as well be 1

ashtonirwin:
wow
y'all are rude
now i'm gonna be self conscious about the emojis i use

lukehemmings:
aw baby
use your stupid white millenial emojis if you want to 🥺

calumhood:
💀

michaelclifford:
okay, lets change the subject guys

ashtonirwin:
thank you

michaelclifford:

lets talk about this shirt

lukehemmings:
awww my little twink 🥺

ashtonirwin:
okay.. you know what
what's the opposite of right?😃

michaelclifford:
wrong?

ashtonirwin:
no

ashtonirwin left

calumhood:
😂😂

lukehemmings:
not you too??

michaelclifford:
ugh calum i thought u were better than that

calumhood:
ash was right
it's just a fucking emoji

michaelclifford:
ugh ur such a dick sucker

calumhood:
yeah it's been known

lukehemmings:
you suck mikey off once and you think you're all that
not like you been with anyone else

calumhood:
about that

calumhood left

michaelclifford:
???

michaelclifford added calumhood

michaelclifford:
hood explain

calumhood:
its really nothing but i'll tell you in our private chat

michaelclifford:
okayyy 🤨

calumhood left
michaelclifford left

lukehemmings:
well i wanna know

lukehemmings added michaelclifford, calumhood

lukehemmings:
spill

michaelclifford:
u really dont need to know

calumhood:
yea. its not a big deal

lukehemmings:
if it's not a big deal than just tell me

calumhood:
fuck ashton's gonna kill me

lukehemmings:
you sucked ashton off.
when

calumhood:
way before y'all ever got together luke
neither of us would ever hurt you like that

lukehemmings:
hm
michael why do you not care?

michaelclifford:
it was forever ago and clearly it meant nothing
let it go luke

lukehemmings:
calum don't ever speak to ashton again and we're good 😃

calumhood:
can't promise you that
but i will promise to never have sex with your boyfriend again 👍🏽

lukehemmings:
if you do i won't hesitate to cut your nipples off

michaelclifford:
same

calumhood:
ew i'd never fuck ashton again

lukehemmings:
well thats great
but lets drop it, im getting more insecure by the second

michaelclifford:
nothing to be insecure about buddy
ashton loves u and idk how many times ppl need to tell u that

lukehemmings:
i know he does, it's just hard to believe sometimes

calumhood:
same mwmwkd

lukehemmings:
stfu calum i'm still mad at you

calumhood:
and this is why i didn't tell you

michaelclifford:
🍿🍿

calumhood:
how tf am i supposed to make it up to you

lukehemmings:
you can start by never speaking to me again

calumhood:
you play too much

lukehemmings:
funny
i'm not playing

calumhood added ashtonirwin

calumhood:
ash can you tell this mf that me and you are not and will not ever be a thing

ashtonirwin:
isn't that obvious??
where did that even come from

lukehemmings:
calum sucked your dick 😒

ashtonirwin:
uhhh
how do you know that
i totally forgot about that

calumhood:
so if you forgot it means nothing right??

ashtonirwin:
right.

lukehemmings:
you promise?

ashtonirwin:
of course baby.
he wasn't even that good anyway

calumhood:
excuse me ??

ashtonirwin:
😂😂😂