IT WAS NEARING MIDNIGHT AND SHE WOULD NOT FALL ASLEEP. Hanting thoughts and sorry images plagued her mind. Bad dreams kept her awake. She couldn't shake them away.

The burning words monster singed her mind. She dreamed of Layla and Rose calling her monster, blaming her, tired eyes and messy hair, words stung as sharp as Nero's claws. She dreamed of her Papa, leaving her. Walking away in the hands of a monster. Her stomach twisted in the tightest knot, it was almost painful. She buried her face in her pillow.

And then, there was a knock on her door.

Diwa froze. "C-come in," she croaked out, her throat scratchy from crying.

The door squeaked open, light spilling in. Papa flickered open the lights, closed the door and sat down on the bed.

"Come, sit down here with me," Papa said, patting the space beside him.

"O-okay." Diwa climbed down the ladder, moving slowly. Her heart was thumping in her chest. Would Papa yell at her? Send her away?

Diwa sat down, eyes never looking away from her lap.

"I'm sorry, Papa," she whispered.

Papa wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. "I wanna know why," he said quietly, after a moment.

Diwa wiped at her eyes, tears overcame her. "I-I thought they were m-monsters and and they w-would--"

"Diwa, it's okay. Stop crying," Papa said, "I won't get mad until you tell me your side of the story."

"O-okay," Diwa said, breathing in. "Um, so I-I was the o-one. Who said Mateo called you, e-even though he didn't. I made it up. Rose probably already told you that."

Papa nodded, rubbing her back. "I want to know why, Di."

Diwa buried her face in her father's shoulder. "It's because I thought they would take you away like with Mama and I d-didn't want you to leave t-too so I thought by doing this, I c-could make us leave on a trip together and then you'd forget about them."

Papa didn't say anything.

"I know you probably hate me," Diwa said, ashamed. "I understand if you want to send me to Mama or grandma's instead."

"I'm not sending you anywhere, Di," he lowered his voice. "You can't go to your mother's, even if you wanted to."

"What do you mean?"

"Your mother's not here anymore."

Diwa furrowed her brows. "Did another monster take her away?"

Papa made a little choking sound as if he was holding down a sob. "Yeah."

"What, really?" Diwa couldn't believe it. "What's its name?"

"Cancer," Papa said, putting his head in his hands.

"Cancer?" Diwa's eyes grew wide, filling with tears. "But isn't that...isn't that...does that mean. Papa, don't tell me it is what I'm thinking."

Papa nodded numbly.

"B-but, you don't mean..." A sob escaped her. She swallowed. "D-does that mean sh-she's d-dead?"

Papa squeezed her closer. "Yes."

"B-but when? How come you didn't tell me? W-why didn't she call?"

"It happened just yesterday, a few hours before our trip. Paul called me. Said your mom had been in the hospital for a few weeks and just a few nights before s-she," Papa fell silent.

"B-but why didn't you tell me she had cancer?"

"This past year, around the time of our wedding, I was so busy and I just didn't think...I didn't think it would end like this."

Diwa stared ahead, silent. She didn't know what to say. Was it really true? Was Mama actually....

Gone?

She held back a sob. Tears fell silently down her cheek. It couldn't be true.

It couldn't.

But it made sense. It must have been what Grandma had warned her for.

"I'm sorry, I'm a terrible father, I'm just as bad as any monster, I-I," Papa hugged Diwa. "I got so caught up in my happiness of marrying Layla, I forgot that Sarah is your mother too and no matter how much I wanted Layla to be like a mother to you, I forgot about the mother you already had."

"You're not...you're not a monster, Papa," Diwa said. "A-at least I don't think so, it doesn't make any sense anymore. I-I don't know who's a monster."

Papa shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Diwa. I'm sorry I've been so busy with the thought of my happiness, I neglected the troubles you had after your mom left that you had to resort to labelling people as monsters to tell which ones you could trust so they wouldn't leave you again, I'm sorry, Di."

"Me too, Papa," Diwa mumbled into her father's shirt. "I did something bad, though, worse than anything Paul or Rose ever did. That makes me the real monster, right?"

"No, Di," Papa said, shaking his head. "Your actions were monstrous, you are not a monster. As long as you learn from what you did, you will never be a monster. Neither is Rose or Layla or, even Paul. If mistakes make monsters, Di, then forgiveness restores them."

That made Diwa cry harder. "I can't say sorry to Mama."

Papa's voice cracked. "I know. But you still have Paul, and you can start with Rose and Layla. I guess, I have some apologizing to do too. Maybe we all do."

"Okay, Papa. I'll try," Diwa said, though her mind was still stuck at the news of her mother, and the fact that she was gone.

Gone.

She'd never hear her voice or give her a hug or have her brush her hair or, or--

Diwa choked down tears, hugging Papa. "I miss her."

Papa embraced Diwa in his arms, holding her there. They stayed, wrapped in each other's arms for what seemed like forever. Everything felt better in the security of her father's arms.

"I love you, Papa. I'm glad you never left."

"Love you too, Di," Papa murmured against her hair, giving her a kiss. "I was so busy searching for happiness, I sometimes forget my biggest happiness is right here, in my arms."

Diwa smiled.

After a few minutes, Papa pulled back, patting her shoulder. "I'm going to get some water. Rose is sleeping with Layla tonight, so I'm with you. Just like old times," Papa grinned.

"Okay," Diwa said, as Papa left the room and closed the lights.

Diwa climbed back into bed, huddled into her blankets, staring blankly at the ceiling. Was it true? Was it actually true?

Was Mama gone?

Was Mama gone after all that wishing and hoping and monster-calling?

Was she really gone?

A thick feeling rose in her throat, tears slipped silently down her cheeks, the taste of salty water on her lips.

It wasn't fair. Diwa squeezed her fist, huddling deeper into the blankets, wishing she could sink into them. It wasn't fair at all. A monster had already taken away Mama once, and now she had to be taken another time.

Diwa cried into her blankets.

She didn't get to say goodbye. She hadn't talked to Mama for a few months.

Mama never told her that there was a chance that she could have...

She could have...

Diwa clung to her blankets, a sob forcing its way out of her, echoing in the darkness of the night. She didn't know what to feel after all these tears and Mama was...

Gone.

She cried harder. The sheets covered her like a blanket of darkness she couldn't escape. It hung over her. She snuggled deeper into it, her mind weighed heavy with sadness, her face slick with tears.

If the monsters weren't monsters but neither was she, then who was? Papa said everyone did monstrous things but no one was a monster but that made her whole world turn upside down.

Nothing made sense anymore.

She didn't want it to make sense.

She just wanted to huddle into her blankets and lie in the darkness and close her eyes so she wouldn't have to think about anything.

Maybe that was why monsters slept in caves. So they could sleep the days away and not have to think about any of the monstrous things they've done.

With that thought, Diwa put her cheek against the pillow, wet with tears, and fell asleep.