09. forever gone
"That girl will never remember your face, your voice, or even your name. There's no reason for you to go see her. It's over. You'll never see her again. You'll never have a sister again."
Sayuri's words cut deep like a knife. There was no word to explain how her words made Hayate and Jin feel. Something beyond devastated, something so very beyond depressed. The two boys wanted to see Mio so badly, but they were conflicted about either being selfish and visiting her or staying away for her sake. Either way, whatever decision they had come up with - didn't matter. Sayuri wouldn't allow them anywhere near Mio's room.
"I'm putting her up for adoption." Sayuri had been discharged from the hospital recently. It had been about a week since the accident, but the atmosphere was still dreary and depressing in the family. Sayuri had gone home, she took some time off work to fully recover. Not only physically, but mentally as well. Hayate and Jin took some time off of school as well, and at this rate, they would probably never want to go back. Everyone was currently at Sayuri's house, and even after the events that transpired, Sayuri still didn't like Jin at all. Her reasoning behind that made no sense at all. She thought he was a rebellious brat when that was so far from the truth. Jin had the utmost respect for respectable people, and Sayuri just wasn't a respectable person at all. Sayuri thought he was a bad influence on her kids, especially her daughter, but. . . Sayuri hardly ever looked after her children.
". . . What?" Jin thought Sayuri was a wicked woman, but he didn't think she was this wicked. "You're not serious, right? You can't do this to her."
"I said what I sad. I'm not changing my mind." Sayuri glared at him, her stare was genuinely serious. You couldn't see the slightest bit of regret in her eyes.
"Sayuri. . . That's your little girl." Hyuna sighed, sitting herself down on the couch beside the blonde-haired woman. "Are you sure you want to go through with this? You never know, maybe Mio could regain her memory." Hyuna placed a hand on Sayuri's shoulder.
"That's ridiculous, Hyuna." Sayuri spat. "It's never going to happen. Mio is gone. We mean nothing to her now."
"Hayate, say something! You can't let her do this!" Jin shook his brother, his eyes becoming glassy with tears. "Don't give up on her! Ajumma!" He turned to Sayuri, who didn't spare him a glance.
Hayate said nothing.
"Shut up!" Sayuri suddenly snapped. "Mio isn't your sister anymore. The nurse said she's mentally fucking ill. I'm not taking care of a kid with schizophrenia. I've had enough of her."
"You're abandoning your only daughter." Hayate stared at his mother. "I'll never forgive you for this."
"You don't need to. I don't care." Sayuri shot back.
Hyuna and Jin both exchanged glances, but no one said anything more. Sayuri had made up her mind, and there was no changing it. Hyuna and Jin were so very convinced that Sayuri truly didn't care. But when they left the house, later that night, Hayate could hear his mother sobbing in the kitchen. She put on a tough act to try and convince everyone - including herself - that she didn't feel any remorse. The truth was, Sayuri was afraid of her daughter now. She was afraid of what Mio had become - what she had made Mio become. Sayuri couldn't bear the guilt of what she had done to her daughter. She couldn't stand the way that Hayate looked at her and talked to her. He looked at her as if she were some sort of monster with no heart, and the more he looked at her like that, the more she started to feel like one.
Mio was doing better about three weeks into therapy, she was talking a little bit more, playing with her Pikachu, and drawing a lot of pictures. Semone learned that Mio loved to read as well, so she would bring the young girl some books. Given the fact that Mio was in the hospital for so long, with hardly anything to do, she burned through those books so easily. Mio read all of the picture books, so now Semone was bringing in novels that were a little more difficult. Mio happily read them all.
At one point, Mio had become curious about her family, and if she even had one, to begin with. It was at this time, that Semone thought it was okay to explain to Mio what had really happened, and what Sayuri's intentions were.
"Auntie Semone, why can't I see my parents and brothers?" Mio asked. She was sitting on her bed, hugging her plush tightly.
"Well, Mio. . ." Semone sighed. "Your mother is putting you up for adoption. She said that you never really had a father. As for your brothers, your mother says that they're not allowed to visit you. I'm sorry Mio." Semone reached a hand out and pat Mio on the head.
"Adoption?" Mio furrowed her brows. "So. . . I have no family?"
"You will have a family one day, for sure." Semone smiled weakly.
"Auntie Semone, do you have a family?" Mio asked.
"I do. I have parents, a husband, and three children." Semone responded, her smile just barely evident.
"Oh." Mio looked down. "Does Doctor Chin have a family?"
"She does."
"Why am I the only one who doesn't? Why does my mom not want me anymore?" Despite how sad her words were, Mio didn't cry.
"Because of the accident you were in, you lost your memory. You remember when I told you that?"
Mio nodded.
"I think your mother feels like she doesn't deserve you anymore," Semone explained in the softest voice. "But don't worry Mio. You will have a family again one day. You have to keep your fingers crossed. Someone very nice will adopt you." The nurse gave Mio a determined nod.
"Fingers crossed." Mio did exactly as she said, and crossed her fingers.
Sayuri had finished almost all of the paperwork to put Mio up for adoption. That day, Hayate and Jin were back in school against their wishes. Jin's marks had gotten worse from all the stress. Both he and Hayate had very often skipped soccer practice, and Matsuda was starting to worry for his two friends. To keep Matsuda from worrying too much about Mio, Hayate and Jin had rarely updated him on what was going on. They only told him that Mio was in the hospital, and nothing more. Now, it was getting too difficult to bear it on their own, so they caved in.
"When's Mio getting out of the hospital?" Matsuda asked. Like always, the three teens were sitting outside for lunch, it was so much better than the crowded cafeteria inside. The weather was nice, there was no reason to not stay out. Although it didn't matter how bright the sun had shined, Hayate and Jin were lifeless.
"No idea," Jin responded, his voice was a mere mumble.
"You're still not allowed to see her?" Matsuda glanced at Hayate, who was staring into the void.
"No one is allowed." Jin sighed. "I miss her so much, man."
"What? Why is no one allowed? Even I can't go and see her?" Matsuda was genuinely concerned.
"She lost her memory. Doesn't remember a thing. Now Hayate's mom is putting her up for adoption." Jin explained hesitantly. "It's over. We've lost our reason to keep fighting. I don't know what to do. I don't want to live without her." Jin buried his face into his hands, on the verge of sobbing again.
"Why didn't you guys tell me this!?" Matsuda's eyes widened.
"This is family matters," Hayate interjected bluntly.
"Come on, man. Mio's like a kid sister to me, too." Matsuda sighed. "Why aren't you fighting for her?"
"I want to know the answer to that too." Jin looked over at Hayate.
"I had a lot of time to think when I was home from school. I realized something. . ." Hayate lowered his gaze. "It didn't matter what I did. Didn't matter how hard I tried. I couldn't protect her. If we were to bring her back home with us, my mother would continue to abuse her, and she'd be traumatized all over again. I can't run away with Mio, we'd end up dead on the streets. I started to think that she'd be better off with a loving family, far away from us. She'd be safe. Maybe the life that makes her the happiest, doesn't include us." Hayate's voice didn't shake or hitch at all. He hadn't completely accepted the fact he'd lose his little sister, but he was slowly starting to come to terms with it. But that didn't mean he wouldn't miss her. Out of everyone that was affected, Hayate missed her the most. He missed her so badly. Now that his purpose for living was ripped away from him, he contemplated killing himself.
Despite this, Hayate wouldn't let go like that. He was going to cling to her for as long as he lived, even if she was forever gone.
Mio was in the hospital for six months, then someone had become interested in adopting her.
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