CHAPTER 40

TRIS POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The fear simulation was awful. It was the most scariest thing I have ever witnessed. I had seven fears in it. It felt so real. If I touched something, I could actually feel it. It was basically real, like if I felt pain, then I literally felt pain.

Tobias was in the sim.

I don't know how or why, but he was in it.

I didn't realize I was afraid of him.

I am currently on the couch watching daytime TV, may I just say is really terrible. It's way too boring.

I know Tobias already realizes that something is up with me, but I sure hope that he doesn't realize what's the matter.

Speaking of Tobias, he walks in and sits next to me while clearing his throat.

"Hey, umm... I was wondering if we could talk. Right now. You have been avoiding me and I don't know why. Something's wrong and you can trust me. You already know that." Tobias says taking his hands in mine.

I turn away. Tobias won't understand. He would never get it. Ever.

"Tris." Tobias says sternly.

"Tobias, I just--- you were in that fear thing." I blurt out tears creeping up into my eyes.

"I was in the simulation?" Tobias asks shocked.

I nod and look away as he abruptly stands up.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"I don't know why." He snaps.

"You don't get it." I say.

"Yeah, and what is there to get?" He asks mad almost disappointed.

"I'm not afraid of you directly. It's just that.... I'm afraid of being in a relationship. Of everything that comes with it." I say.

Tobias sighs and sits down next to me.

"Tris, I would never make you do anything that you aren't comfortable with. For example, roller coasters. If you didn't want to go on one, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I made you go on it?" Tobias tells me.

I close my eyes. I am so relieved that I told Tobias about him and the simulation. I want to sleep, I am super tired, but I am fighting it so I won't have any dreams... well nightmares really.

I begin to loose the battle significantly and eventually give in. I am quickly pulled under into a whirlwind of darkness and fears.

TOBIAS POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tris falls asleep rather quickly after hearing what I have to say about the fear sim.

I can't believe I was in it! I thought she trusted me, cared about me. Not be afraid of me.

Mom comes downstairs and yawns.

"What's the matter?" She asks when she sees my face.

"I was in her fear simulation." I say bluntly.

"You?" Mom asks shocked sitting on the chair across from me.

"No, Tobias from Japan." I say sarcastically.

"No need to be short with me." Mom says annoyed.

I take a deep breath.

"I thought she trusted me that's all." I say sadly.

"Oh honey, she trusts you incredibly. You should see the way she looks at you, the way you are the only one to calm her down and talk to her at vulnerable times. She loves you, Tobias. Truly loves. And I know you love her." Mom says smiling.

I just nod.

"Think about it. If she didn't trust you, would she be sleeping next to you right now? Would she be able to actually sleep peacefully if you were someone else, say..... Peter?" Mom asks.

"No, I guess not." I admit.

"See. She trusts you incredibly." Mom gets up and goes into the kitchen.

I eventually follow her. I made Tris breakfast, but not myself.

I begin eating a bagel when Tori walks in.

"Oh thank gosh you're eating." She says.

I stare at her confused.

"Why wouldn't I eat? I am hungry." I smirk.

"Well, you're parents are just so selfless that I thought they would refuse to eat my food." Tori explains.

We begin to talk about random things when I hear a muffled sob come from the living room.

I jump up alongside Tori and race to where Tris is. She has tears on her red face and she is beginning to thrash around.

I quickly take ahold of her shoulders and shake them lightly yelling her name.

I watch as her eyes open wide in fear and she looks around.

She wipes away the tears angrily and pulls out of my embrace. Tori watches with a confused look on her face and Tris huddles in the corner.

Why can't she trust me?

"Tobias...." I hear her whisper.

I slowly move closer to her.

"What's up." I ask softly.

"I... I am sorry. In pushing you away and you didn't even do anything wrong." Tris stutters through tears.

"That's okay. You've been through a lot worse then me. I still love you no matter what and I will never stop loving you." I whisper opening my arms.

She crawls into my embrace and I accidentally graze my hand alongside her back and she whimpers in pain.

I glance at Tori and she nods understanding that Tris needs the pain medicine.

"How about you tell me what was in the fear landscape. That way we can work through it together." I say gently into her hair.

"I don't know if I can relive i.. it," Tris is having a full on panic attach right now.

"Okay, okay, relax. You don't have to tell me anything." I say gently beginning to rub her firearms.

Tris takes a couple deep breath and lays her head on my shoulder.

"There was seven." She whispers.

I am about to ask seven what, but something tells me to stay quiet. I shouldn't interrupt her when she might be telling me what was in the simulation.

"The first was crows pecking me alive. I couldn't breathe. They were everywhere." I feel Tris begin to shake against me.

"The second was Eric and his friends burning me alive. I could literally smell my flesh. The third was I was trapped in a tank and it was filling up with water. I couldn't get out and you and the the gang were laughing at me." Tris is shaking violently now and I quickly stroke her hair in an attempt to calm her down.

"The fourth was being kidnapped by dark figures. The fifth was not being able to be in control of anything. The sixth was the one I already told you about. It was of you. You came at me and were beginning to force me to do stuff. It was intimacy, Tobias...... The last was defiantly the worst. I was with Marcus and he was hitting me, making me shoot you and everyone I love." Tris breaks down in sobs now and I just hug her tightly.

I know nothing I say right now will make her feel any better, so I stay quiet.

Eventually, Tris stops crying, but is now shaking in my arms.

Tori comes back in with the water and pill and Tris slowly puts the pill on her tongues and swallows it down.

I feel so terrible for her, taking pills left and right. I am not going to pity her, though. I know she hates that. She is strong and will make it through everything.

Mom brings down a heated blanket and lays it over Tris's shoulders smiling sadly.

"You'll get through it. Just like everything else. Just think soon it will be Halloween and then after that winter break will be right around the corner." I whisper soothingly in her ear.

Tris looks up at me and nods, sniffling.

"I am such a cry baby." She mutters to herself more than me.

"Excuse me? No. Anyone who has gone through what you have, deserves to cry. A lot." I say shocked that she even thinks that.

If anything it is good that she is crying. It proves that she actually has emotion inside of her.

Tris moves her arms, so they're around my neck and she puts her head right where my heart is.

Slowly, I watch her fall asleep against me again and I am still shocked on
at how amazing she truly is.

HOW WAS THAT! MORE TO COME!

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