Amelia's Pov

My mother once said "there's an art to losing yourself". But I haven't figured it out yet. I'm suppose to never think of myself, to always help others. To never look too long in the mirror.

"Amelia" my mothers sweet voice spoke softly into my ear. I spun around and saw her beautiful face with a bright smile. She waves her hands instructing me to come to her. I obey and began making my way over to where she stood in the hallway. As I got closer it only looked like she got further. I began to quicken my pace, trying to catch up with her but, with every step that I took she got further and further away from me.

"Mom!" I scream, she was beginning to fade her features getting harder to see. I was now running at full speed tears streaming down my face. "Mom!" I cried out again, and than it stopped. She was gone, and I was alone in the darkness.

I shot up in my bed gasping for air and clutching the first thing that comes in contact with my hand. My palms and body were sweaty and my face was teared stained red. My breathing slowed down as I realized it was only a nightmare, I've been having the same nightmares since my mother passed away when I was young. I thought that maybe eventually as I got older they would go away but they never did, they stuck with me like a nasty bug and didn't leave. Shaking the thought from my mind I was reminded about how important this day was, today was the aptitude test where we would find out what faction to pick at the choosing ceremony. I've been waiting for this day for 7 years, when my mother passed away my father became very abusive towards Caleb and I, there was nothing we could do about it until the day we could finally leave him behind. The only thing was, I didn't want to leave them behind. The truth is, I need them. I'm terrified to leave but there's no need to worry about that now I'm sure my results will come out abnegation. I got up out of bed and changed into my clothing. Grey dress with a beige cloth overtop and my black boots. I twisted my hair up into a tight bun just like my mother used to do.

"Amelia, come over here so I can cut your hair" I made my way to the chair that sat in the middle of the room. I took a seat and watched my mother as she brushed my long locks out and then cut the ends of my hair off. After she finished she would twist my hair so easily into a perfect bun and pin it up. Suddenly from the corner of my eyes I see that my mother drops the scissors. I reach out and grab them without cutting myself and hand them back to her. "You've always been my lucky little 13" she smiles down at me I mentally smile at that memory. I miss her so much.

I  head downstairs to eat breakfast with my father and brother. "Are you nervous?" My father asks us. I stare at my empty bowl considering answering his question. "No. Were you? For your test?" My brother beats me to it. "Mmm-mm. No. I was terrified" he says "but I didn't have any reason to be and neither do you two" After we ate I went back into the room that my mother used to cut my hair in and open the mirror that's attached to the wall and stare at myself. My eyes, the hazelnut brown they were. My small nose and my plumped lips. I look at my hair pulled back tight. I then slide the mirror closed and lock it. Today I take the test. I'm scared it will tell me I'm not Abnegation. That I have to leave my family. But I'm even more scared that it will tell me to stay. For my brother Caleb, it's easy.

"Let me help you with that" Caleb says to an elderly woman carrying heavy bags.

He's a natural.

"Amelia, do you wanna get the other bags?" Caleb asks me snapping me out of my gaze.

"Sorry" I say walking over and helping the woman with the rest of her bags and then we continue on to the initiation test.

"What if she'd been blind or an amputee? Would you have helped her then?" Caleb asks me.

"I was thinking about helping her." I admit.

"It's not that hard"

"For you, maybe." I sigh

"Just relax, Amelia. Take a deep breath and trust the test" he says

Trust the test. The test will tell me who I am, where I belong. Am I smart? Kind? Am I honest? Selfless? Or brave?

Once we get to the building and wait in the Abnegation line with the other Abnegation I hear someone talking to another faction up ahead.

"Hey. So all the food that we're big getting, you guys are giving away to the Factionless? Right? Yeah?" Some guy says

"Yeah" the guy from the other faction replies.

"You're a lier. Why are you lying to me? Everybody knows you keep it for yourselves. So why don't you just admit it? Huh? I'm talking to you. Are all you stiffs deaf or somethin'? Hey!" The guy gets up close to the abnegation guy and all I want to do is intrude and push him off. Without thinking my feet start to move but I'm stopped by Caleb.

"Amelia....Don't" I sigh and stand back just as I hear the train coming. Dauntless. They jump off screaming and cheering and run to their line at the building.

"100 years ago, after the war, our founders created a system they believed would prevent future conflict and create lasting peace. Today, aptitude testing based on your personality will assign you to one of the factions. While it is our belief that choosing the faction indicated by your test is the best way to ensure success within the faction system, it is your right tomorrow at the choosing ceremony to choose any of the five factions, regardless of your test results. However, once the choice has been made. There will be no change permitted." After the long boring speech we're sent in to take our test. I take a deep breath and open the door walking into the room. I look around, it was plain and white with mirrors all around. I glance to my left and look at myself in the mirror but turn away soon after.

"What is it with you Abnegation and mirrors?" I turn my head in the direction of the voice to see a tall girl with long black hair part of it braided.

"We reject vanity" I say simply.

"Yeah. I know. Sit down." She directs me to the seat in the middle of the room beside it a machine with wires and what not. I walk over and take a seat in the chair it was quite comfy. "I'm Tori. I'll be administering your test. You'll be offered a series of choices to test your aptitude for each faction until you get one result. I wouldn't sweat it. 95% get the faction of their origin, and from the looks of you..." she says and hands me a clear glass with a blue liquid in it.

"What is it?" I ask

"Bottoms up" is all she says. I sigh and put the glass to my lips tipping the liquid into my mouth and swallowing. I lay back and try to relax before I know it my eyes are getting heavy and then they close. I open my eyes to see Tori is no longer there and so is everything else. I stand up and look around before a voice clears the silence.

"Choose" a couple stands are sat before me half with steak and half with knifes. "Now. Before it's too late" the voice says

"Why? What will I do with them?" I ask

"Choose" it says again

"Just tell me" I argue but then it stops and I hear a bark. I gasp and look to see a vicious German shepherd. The dog began running at me full speed and instead of dodging it I take a deep breath and drop to my knees thinking about the dog being a puppy. I open my eyes when nothing happens and see the dog has turned to a puppy.

"Puppy" a little girl in the distance says I smile at her and then hear the growling again. I turn back and see the full sized vicious dog is back and runs after the little girl. I charge at the dog and tackle it to the ground. The test ends and I wake up confused.

"Get up" Tori says in a rush pulling me up from my seat. "We're going out the back door before a supervisor comes" she says

"But what were my results?" I ask as her grip tightens on my wrist and pulls me to the back door. "What happened?" I ask

"You're going to tell your family that the serum made you sick and that I sent you home. All right?" She says

"No, but what was my result?" I ask one more time.

"Abnegation" something rushes through my body when I hear that but I'm not sure what it was. "And Erudite. And Dauntless" wait Dauntless...

"Your results were inconclusive" she says

"That's impossible. It doesn't make any sense" I say

"No. Not impossible. It's just extremely rare. They call it 'Divergent'. You can't tell anyone about this. Not even your parents. As far as the world is concerned, you received an Abnegation result because that is what I manually entered." She says

"So what am I suppose to do at the choosing ceremony? I was suppose to learn what to do. This was suppose to tell me what faction to choose, the test. We're suppose to trust the test" I panic what was I suppose to do now!?

"The test didn't work on you. You have to trust yourself" and with that she pushes me out the back door and sends me home. Later one when my brother got home from his test and we were preparing dinner he spoke up.

"What happened to you today?" He asks "where did you go after your test?"

"I got sick, so they sent me home early." I say exactly what Tori told me to say.

"Did you finish your test?" He asks

"Mmm-hmm" I reply

"What was your result?" He asks

"What was yours?" I reply looking at him. At diner my father brought it up as well.

"Why did you just leave without telling anybody?" He asks me

"I was sick" I say

"Amelia" I hated when he said my name. "I don't think you understand the level of scrutiny we're under. They're doing everything they can to discredit us right now" he says

"Who is?" My curiosity takes over even though I didn't want to speak to him.

"Erudite. They believe that their should be the governing faction, not us. So you have to be carful right now, okay? Even Marcus is under attack." He says

"For what?" I ask.

"It's an old accusation. That he  mistreated his son and that's why the boy defected" Caleb says causing a very angry emotion to whip up on my fathers face.

"Is it true?" I ask

"'No" my father says "course not. Children defect for all kinds of reasons big day tomorrow don't take too long in here" he stands and leaves the room in a rush his knuckles were clenched causing me to tense up a little. When he leaves the room I collect the plates and cups and put them in the sink.

"Amelia?" Caleb says

"What?" I say

"Tomorrow when we choose... you have to think of the family" he says "but you also have to think of yourself" he finishes. After our conversion and cleaning I head ho go bed and get to get a good nights sleep. I woke up in the morning and got ready for the ceremony. After leaving and arriving at the choosing ceremony building we all walk up the steps like a family and put on our fake smiles.

"Morning, Jeanine" my father says I always got a weir vibe off her.

"Good morning, how is Marcus holding up?" She asks

"As well as can be expected" he says

"We need to find out who's behind these rumors. if it's someone from Erudite, I promise I'll find out who" she says "these are your children. I don't think I knew they were choosing today what's your name?" She asks Caleb.

"I'm.... I'm Caleb" he stutters

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Jeanine Matthews and you are?" She turns to me I look up at her but do not respond she gives me the creeps.

"This is Amelia." Caleb says for me

"Well, you both have a big decision to make today. I'm sure your father will support whatever choice you make" she says

"That's not suppose to be a choice. The test should tell us what to do" I say

"You're still free to choose" she says

"But you don't really want that" I say

"Amelia..." Caleb says

"I want you to choose who you truly are and where you truly belong. Not on a whim. Not because you wish you were someone you're not. But because you honestly know yourself. I want you to choose wisely. And I know you will" she says we walk away and take our seats with the Abnegation.

"The faction system is a living being composed of cells, all of you. And the only way it can survive and thrive is for each of you to claim your rightful place. The future belongs to those who know where they belong. When we leave this room, you will no longer be dependents but full-fledged members of our society. Faction before blood" everyone says faction before blood and then the ceremony begins.

"Caleb Oaks" I glance up at my brother who looks around and then stands making his way to the front. After a couple minutes he drips his blood in a bowl and turns around. "Erudite" I look over at my father who looks equally pissed and hurt at the same time. "Amelia Oaks" I take a deep breath and slide past my father making my way down the steps to the front. I'm handed the knife and carefully pull it across my palm to draw blood. I then hold my hand over Abnegation I had my mind set on it. But something changed last minute I no longer wanted to go back to my boring and abusive Abnegation life. I finally have a chance at a life without my father and I'm going to take it. I move my hand over to the hot coals and watch the blood drip off and sizzle into the coals. What have I done. "Dauntless" I hear cheers from the dauntless as soon as they're called and take the bandaid I was given and walk over to their group. When the ceremony is over I look over to see my father was not happy. He was now alone. Completely alone. And I could care less he deserves it but something in me still feels compassion for him. Before I could get a second glance at him I'm pushed out by the dauntless who all began running down the streets. I follow behind them and climb up the poll that was holding the bridge and train track together. When I reach the top I pant and try to catch my breath. I see the dauntless are running again I look to my left and see the train coming. It blows by me making my hair and clothes blow in the wind they're jumping on the train and I wasn't going to make it if I didn't start running!

I began running down the tracks trying to catch up with the train I was getting tired but I couldn't give up not already. As I'm getting closer I see a hand stick out and grab it they pull me on the train and slump beside me.

"You made it. I'm Christina" the girl that helped me says

"Amelia thanks" I say

"Is it just me or are they trying to kill us?" She says making us both chuckle.

"Get ready" someone shouts

"Yeah!" Someone else shouts and jumps off the train

"They're jumping" I say

"What?" Christina says

"What if you don't jump?" Someone says

"What do you think? You'll be factionless" another guy says and jumps off the train.

"Together?" I say standing up and going to the back wall of the train.

"Yeah" she says following me.

"One, two, three" we run and take a leap off the train tumbling over into the gravel I groan and laugh fixing myself and standing up.

"All right, listen up!" Someone yells "I'm Eric, one of your leaders" I see a guy at the front of the crowd speaking. "If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in. And if you don't have the guts to jump, then you don't belong in Dauntless" he says

"Is there water at the bottom or something?" Someone in the group asks.

"I guess you'll find out. Or not" Eric says

"We just jumped. They want us to jump again?" Christina says

"Someone's gotta go first. Who's it gonna be?" Eric asks nobody responds the whole crowd stays silent so I take a deep breath and call out.

"Me" I say. Everyone's attention turns to me I suddenly feel like this was a bad idea and gulp. I make my way through the crowd and look over the edge seeing the big hole that went so far down it was just pitch black. I sighed and took off my sweater earning some comments from the people in the group.

"Yeah, stiff, take it off! Put it back on!" The guys in the group somewhere says I pull up the dress and climb up on the edge. I balance myself and look down at the hole again.

"Today, initiate" Eric says I take another deep breath and close my eyes stepping forward. I feel my feet leave the edge and then the air violently rushing around my body causing my hair to go everywhere and my clothes to make a weird whooshing noise. I stay silent enjoying the wind when suddenly I land on something and bounce. I pant as I continue to bounce and then it stops and I lay silent looking up at the sky I just fell from. I chuckle with a wide grin a net. I gasp again when the net is pulled down and I roll off into someone. My eyes fix to a brown eyed guy and suddenly I forget everything for a minute.

"What, you get pushed?" He asks

"No" I say he grabs my waist and helps me out of the net I balance myself and keep my hands on his arms until he drops his.

"What's your name?"

"It's..." before I could say my name I stop. This is the time when I can change my name to something completely different. I get to be a new person.

"Is that a hard one? You can pick a new one if you want, but make it good. You don't get to pick again" he says

"Okay..." I think and then suddenly it hits me. My mother she popped into my mind I wonder what she would think of this? "My name's 13" I say it made me feel all warm to have something of my mothers on me to have her nickname for me being used. The guy looks at me weird at first although I couldn't tell if it was a weird look or a shocked look or what. "First jumper, 13" he shouts the other dauntless cheer. He places his hand on my lower back and guide me to the side. "Welcome to Dauntless"