I walk into the library the next day, wanting to find about divergents a little more than my mom told me.

What shocked me was that Caleb was there, and what shocked me even more was the hunger that I see in his eyes when I see him read a book.

"Hey Caleb," I say as I walk to him.

"Beatrice? What are you doing here?" He asks me with his eyes wide.

I laugh a little, "Just to study a little, brother. Why does someone come to a library?" 

He smiles.

"Can you help me?" I ask him.

"Yes, of course. What is it?" 

I look around for someone who is watching us and when I'm sure that no one is, I sit besides him and say in a low voice, "I want to know about divergent." 

His eyes widen, it was almost like they would pop out of his eyes sockets.

"How do you know about them?!" He whispers back in a shocking tone.

"Oh, I just heard about it from some people. Mostly Erudites." I lie. Caleb asked me yesterday why mom called me and I told him that she needed me to help her arrange some papers with her.

"They talk about it and they are not quite about it." I say.

"I don't think that topic is really necessary for anyone to know," He says and averts his eyes.

He knows something about them, definitely he knows.

"Either you help me, or I will figure it out myself." I challenge him and he glares at me, but I glare back.

Finally he gives in, "Fine!" He stands, "Follow me."

I stand up clumsily and follow Caleb deep into library. He takes a few turns and then he enters a particular section which is not labelled. That is strange.

"I found a book, right here about some old findings of divergents," Caleb says looking into the shelf of book, "Ah! Here it is." He takes out an old book whose cover is half torn.

I walk to him as he places the book on the table and turns the pages.

"Here, this tells us how to discover one and that this is an old way of it." He says, "It says right here," He points out a paragraph, "That mostly they can be discovered by the aptitude test serum. It is designed to rule out each faction until one remains depending on the personality of the person.." And then he dives into the biology of it, how it works inside the brain and everything.

I take the book from him as he speaks, and turn the pages. It shows some pictures where a body lay dead and it is labelled as 'Divergent Hunted'.

"Do they hunt them?" I ask Caleb with my face contoured. I'm not sure who they is but I still ask.

"They want to eradicate them from the society, because they think that they are dangerous." He tells me.

"Why do they think they are dangerous? They're human right." I say to him.

"According to them, their mind works in million different ways which is not what they want." He says looking at me, "I have come to the conclusion that they care about how we think, and what we think. They care about our intentions but the ones with the aptitude of more than one faction," he says, "they think differently. It is dangerous because they will act differently at the time of crisis and not like the normal people." 

"This doesn't make any sense." I say.

"I know."

"What if someone was divergent and they get discovered?" I ask him.

"You just saw the body, and then you ask me." He says with a wary expression and I look away.

I feel as if all the blood has drained out of my body. I do not know if I am divergent. I will get to know that tomorrow.

But if my mom thinks this, she must have thought something.

I sigh, more like exhale in fear.

"Hey you okay Beatrice?" Caleb asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I'm not.

**********************

Later that day, I tell Caleb that I am going out for a walk but I am actually going to my mother. I need to know more.

I walk down the crowded lane, people of every faction walking around of working. 

Suddenly, a distinct whistle is heard and for a moment, everyone falls silent. Some stop in their tracks-including me- trying to figure out what it is but I already know that.

It's the Dauntless train. The Dauntless are coming.

The whistle turns into the rattling of the railway tracks and soon, the grey train becomes visible.

Everyone continued to do whatever they were doing. But I stood there.

I stood there and watched the train come fully into view and then watched the Dauntless members jump out of it, all hooting and shouting.

I smile looking at them.

I have always admired the dauntless. They are brave, fearless and most of all..free.

All of the things which I'm not, and all of the things I wish to be.

I come back to my senses when one of dauntless bumps into me and walks away muttering a sorry. 

I laugh and shake my head. They don't give a damn about the people.

I keep walking to my mother's office and when I reach there, I find out that she has gone for a field trip to find factionless who need help. 

"Do you have any idea where she could be?" I ask the receptionist and she smiles at me.

"I can find out and inform her that you are looking for her." She says and was about to pick up the phone.

"No, don't. It's alright. Can I wait in her office until she comes back?" 

"Yes, sure." She says and I thank her.

I walk to her office and the guards stop me.

"I'm Natalie Prior's daughter." I say, "I was here yesterday with her." 

"She has not notified us of any visitor nor her daughter." He says.

"But I'm her daughter." I say.

"I'm sorry," is all he says.

I roll my eyes which makes the other guard eyes like a potato.

Yes, Abnegation is not even allowed to feel irritated!

I turn and sit on the ground a few feet from them and bring my knees to my chest.

I don't know how much time passes when I drift off to a little sleep and only wake up when my mom comes and shakes my shoulder.

"Beatrice! Why are you sitting here?!" She asks me and I try to take up my surroundings.

"I wanted to meet you, and they weren't allowing me to go into your office." I say and she glares at the guards.

They are in trouble.

She helps me get up and we walk in with my mom mumbling something to the guard and I feel sorry for him now.

We sit and I ask her right away, "How can you suspect of me being a divergent?"

Her head snaps up at me and she then smiles.

"Most of the divergents are Abnegation born, we don't know why. And your behaviour is different from the Abnegation even after living sixteen-years the life of an Abnegation." She says.

"I told you there are two possibilities, either you are just not Abnegation faction, or you are two many of them." She says and I feel her eyes bore holes into my soul.

How must she be feeling knowing that her daughter is not what she thought her to be?

I look down in shame.

She sighs, "Beatrice," She says and I nod.

"I do not hate you for whatever you are," She says and I nod again, tears swimming in my eyes, "I mean it, Beatrice." She says keeping hand on my cheek.

"Do you still have the knife?" She asks me.

"I hid it in my room," I say. I did not like carrying it with me.

She searches my eyes with hers, "Are you going to take it tomorrow with you?" Her voice holds a fear, fear for me.

I look down and nod.

Even if I will take the knife with me, I surely won't be able to use it.

Which means that if I am divergent, I'm going to end up dead tomorrow.

Every part, every cell of my body is shouting for me.

Please, do not let me be Divergent.

**********************