↳ The Story Behind the Story ~ Carolyn_Hill
Written by mminecraftbees
Hello and welcome to the interview column, where today I'm talking to Carolyn [Carolyn_Hill], author of Watty award-winning novel Mask of Celibacy. We discuss her reaction to achieving the award, the ideas behind MoC and life as a published author.
Thanks for talking today Carolyn. First off, congratulations on bagging the 2021 YA Watty Award! How did it feel to find out you'd won?
It was a dream come true! Ever since I'd started writing on Wattpad in 2016, I'd dreamed that one day I'd win. Winning an award for a book so close to my heart means the world to me.
Mask of Celibacy, the book that landed said award, originally began as a multimedia novella under the title Celibate. Why did you choose to opt for a multimedia work instead of the traditional prose style of a Wattpad book?
The idea came to me when I visited someone's Wattpad profile (I can't remember who, I'm afraid) and read the term 'asexual'. Can you believe I initially thought it was a typo? No one talked about this kind of stuff when I was a kid. Sex education talked about the biological aspects only.
Once I looked up the term, it sparked a tsunami of research (articles, forums, videos, et cetera) that finally connected the dots on how my sexuality worked. Or rather my asexuality.
The novella Mask of Celibacy began as a quasi-journal, where I struggled with all my questions through the eyes of the narrator Jess. The story is my own 'what-if' scenario: what if I'd learned about asexuality as a teenager rather than at the age of 36?
What motivated you to rewrite Celibate as a novel?
As dear to me as the novella is, it has structural issues. Rewriting it as a novel allowed me to restructure it. Since I'd already captured all the feelings and the internal struggle, it meant I could focus on technical aspects such as flow, plot, pinch points, and character arcs, which allowed me to breathe life into the story.
MoC tells the story of Jess, a nineties teen on a journey of self-discovery surrounding her identity and the possibility that she is asexual. For readers who've never heard this term before, could you give a brief description of what asexuality is and what it's like to live as one in a sex-centred society?
People always say that asexuality is a 'lack of sexual attraction'. This is technically true; however, I find it problematic to define a preference by a 'lack' of something. It makes us seem flawed or incomplete.
Instead, I would say asexual people tend to or prefer to others on a platonic, emotional, sensual, aesthetic, intellectual, and/or romantic level rather than on a sexual one. That includes our significant others. It doesn't necessarily mean sex is completely off the table, and many asexual people are sexually active. It simply means people attract us mostly via other means.
A sex-centred society discusses these levels interchangeably. They separate relationships into platonic friendships and romantic/sexual relationships, or they possibly see romantic relationships as one big melting pot which combines all the levels together.
Some of us prefer certain levels over others. For others, sexuality plays little to no role in attraction.
Why is it important to you to spread awareness of asexuality?
When I was young, no one talked about asexuality. I didn't even know it was an option. In fact, it took until the mid-nineties for the DSM-IV to revise its definition of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder to preclude to asexual people.
Whenever I expressed what I know to be 'asexual' thoughts, people dismissed my worries rather than respecting them. "It'll happen. You need to find the right guy." or "Give it time! You're young" or "Focus on your schoolwork, worry about that later" or "So, do you like women?"
That means you always feel a bit out-of-step with others. You feel weird. Incomplete. Like someone missed out a part when they used a 'Build-A-Human' kit to make you.
That's because no one talks about it. Awareness changes the dynamic from incredulity to acceptance.
I'd like to help both sexual and asexual people to come to a better understanding of themselves and others. That way, asexuality doesn't become this 'big deal'. It's one legitimate preference among many and deserves to be recognized and respected as such.
What are your words of advice to any readers who are struggling with their sexuality, or feel out of place?
First, don't be too hard on yourself. We all struggle with our sexuality, no matter what our preference may be. That's part of human growth.
Second, don't get too hung up on labels. They can help us understand ourselves and others, but they're a shortcut. Each person has their own unique set of preferences when it comes to connecting with others.
Third, if you don't know where to even start, like I did a few years ago, do some research. Unlike the nineties, we have access to so much information. Be careful where you look, of course, but if you choose reputable places to discover more, they can help you.
Finally, remember that you're not alone. Share with others in a way that's comfortable for you: by writing, reading, talking, or whatever you prefer. It really helps.
Are there any characters you based on real life people, and if so, who?
Absolutely. I think the best characters are inspired by real people with wholesome, well-rounded personalities. Like Jess, I was raised by my grandparents. So Grandad is a tribute to my grandfather, who was my hero. Likewise, 'Mom' is my grandmother. I've exaggerated some things for dramatic effect, but in essence, they are real.
Jess is basically a slightly more sensible version of me at eighteen. Heh. Not sure if I should admit that :) Though I didn't do it consciously, in retrospect Care's character relies heavily on someone I know very well.
All of the minor characters are inspired by aspects of real people, but they're mostly composites.
What were the highs and lows of the writing process to you?
The creation of both the novella and the novel flowed well because they came from an authentic struggle in my life. Working through my concerns and coming to those realisations gave me a real buzz.
As strange as it may seem, I enjoy the editing process. I like fixing errors and turning a raw diamond into a shining gem. It gives me a feeling of joy and accomplishment when I see the final product.
Sometimes I struggle with writer's block. When that happens, I try to take a walk around the block to clear my head, or I talk to my husband or writer friends for advice. Marketing doesn't come naturally to me either, so I'm glad there are experts out there who can give writers advice on the right things to do.
MoC isn't your only published work. Which of your other stories was your favourite to write and why?
Even though they are not as popular, I have a real soft spot for writing short stories. Whenever I see a prompt I love, I write it. There's nothing like working flat-out for a day and having that sense of accomplishment. It's a guilty pleasure.
What are the best and worst parts of being a published online author?
The best thing about writing online is also the scariest: sharing your work with a large audience. You learn so much when they interact with you. It's a pleasure to see people engaging with your story on a personal level. However, I always get a bit nervous before I publish a chapter. That's normal, but you just have to take the plunge!
And finally, what are your future projects for Wattpad?
It might be fun to get back to my roots with some fantasy now that I've learned so much about writing. I've toyed with the idea of rewriting my other novels, DECEPTION and FIREBORN, into a trilogy. In the end I settled on creating a new novel called CAUSTIC, which is set in the same universe but definitely a standalone, in which a half-dragon comes to terms with who she is and learns to accept herself.
Yep, there's a definite theme to my work.
Thank you for talking!
You can check out Mask of Celibacy and other works by Carolyn on her profile @Carolyn_Hill . If you want to apply to be an interviewer, contact the @ScriptSociety profile or check out our hiring book.
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