-Your P.O.V-

It's the band's last day in Columbus. We have just a few more hours before we leave to continue the tour. The tour only has a few dates and cities left though.

It's also my last day with Josh and Tyler. These past few days have been...interesting. I reconnected with Josh and became friends with him again, I guess? I managed to feel many emotions over the course of 72 hours. I'm not quite sure what's happening with my feelings right now.

Josh is just a friend, right? That's what we said. We're friends. But, last night, when he touched my hand.. It's like all those feelings I was suppressing suddenly flooded back into my mind. I don't know. Maybe I'm acting a bit absurd but I can't help it. I need to find out if I still truly love Josh or if I'm just lonely.

All these thoughts unwinding in my mind are suddenly interjected as Victoria comes barging beside me.

"Hey sis! Ready to get back on the road for the final performances?" Victoria asks, bubbly as ever.

"Sure, I guess." I shrug in response.

Yeah, I'm ready to get back on the road and perform. It's my favorite thing to do. But, I'm ready for a break too. While I love travelling and meeting people and live performances, after a while it can get a little tiring. I'm ready to relax.

Although, I'm sure that's gonna be impossible with these stupid, sleep-depriving thoughts of Josh.

-Josh's P.O.V-

(Y/N)'s leaving today for her last few performances on her All-American tour.

I'm gonna miss her.

I've just been trying to figure out whether I mean that in a friend way or not.

Deciding to distract myself, I open up twitter for my daily dose.

Scrolling, I see some usual tweets about what people are doing and memes.

Then, suddenly, my timeline is covered in tweets about (Y/N) and I.

Magazine outlets and fans of ours are all talking about that "moment" we had just outside of Taco Bell.

Great...

I scan some of the tweets.

"i really hope @(Y/T/N) and @joshuadun are back together"

"wait. r josh & (Y/N) together again? i hope not"

"@(Y/T/N), lead singer of Broken Castle, and @joshuadun, drummer for Twenty One Pilots, spotted outside Taco Bell after the two supposedly split earlier this year"

I lock my phone and groan, laying my hands on my head as I fall backwards on the couch.

Guess that "distraction" didn't quite help.

I scratch my head.

I wonder if (Y/N) has seen these tweets..

-Your P.O.V-

"Karma, what do I do? I don't want everyone thinking we're back together." I pace back and forth outside the tour bus on Columbus grounds.

"What is there to do? I mean, you and Josh aren't together and you both know that so ignore it, I guess. I'm sure it'll die down in a couple days." Karma shrugs, taking another sip out of her coffee.

"But-"

"Plus, if you say something addressing you and Josh, you'll just add more attention to the topic and people will start getting more suspicious." Karma blinks in a careless attitude.

"Buuut, what if I don't say anything and people start getting suspicious because I'm not saying anything." I look at the lilac-haired girl with wide (e/c) eyes and my hands on my hips.

She waits a moment before responding.

"...You are totally thinking way too deep into this." Karma says with a blank expression.

"That's what I do, Karma. That's what I do..."

-Josh's P.O.V-

"What should I do, Tyler? I don't want to add more attention to it but I don't want to not do anything about it." I cross my arms and sit beside my best friend as he listens to me talk once again about (Y/N).

Tyler bites his lip and tilts his head.

"I don't know. I'd just leave it alone. I'm sure it'll be okay." Tyler crosses his arms like mine.

I sigh and Tyler looks at me.

"How do you feel about (Y/N)? Honestly." Ty asks.

"Honestly...I have no idea. All of my thoughts are so messy at the moment and I can't think straight. I just...I just don't know what to do."

"Josh, I think you need to actually figure out how you feel about (Y/N). I know it may seem difficult but you'll figure it out. You're a smart guy." Tyler rests his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah...thanks." I say to Tyler.

Tyler nods his head.

"And yeah, right now your thoughts are scattered but maybe try to find something to unscatter them. Thoughts are scary but sometimes they're necessary."

(A/N: woah i wrote something deep)

-Your P.O.V-

We're about to leave for the last concerts of the American tour and Josh and Tyler just showed up to say goodbye.

Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the duo and greet them.

"Hey guys." I say as calmly as possible.

"Hey." Tyler smiles at me.

"Hi." Josh does the same.

"So, you ready to get back on the road?" Tyler starts a conversation while putting his hands in the pocket of his yellow hoodie.

"Yeah! Although, I'm kinda ready for a break too." I give him a chuckle.

"Yeah, I know that feeling." Josh agrees.

After we all hang out for a bit, it's finally time for Broken Castle to exit Columbus, Ohio.

Tyler and I hug as he says goodbye and good luck.

I always appreciated Tyler. He's such a good person and I've looked up to him for the longest time. I'm so glad I've gotten to know him better and become his friend.

Then, Josh is in front of me.

Tyler goes to hug the twins and say goodbye as Josh and I stand in front of each other for a few seconds.

(A/N: just warning u THIS MIGHT GET DEEP)

There are so many things I could say to him. I wouldn't know how though. Josh Dun was everything to me.

Before Josh entered my life, my mind was blocked with bad memories.

After we started going on tour with the boys, those bad thoughts seemed to become more distant.

It felt as if the closer I got to Josh, the more distant my thoughts became.

Then..Josh and I became distant. He left. He went to Europe and we separated.

The way I heard Josh on New Years just didn't seem the same. I was so used to his happy self and after hearing him like that...I knew I messed up. I was heart broken.

The distance between us made my thoughts come back to me like a sudden dark cloud. The kind that are positioned all across a yellow-tinted sky right before a thunderstorm. As if the Earth was lit up with a pale colored night light and you could hear the thunder growing distant in the farther directions.

Josh was the light before the storm.

And before him, I didn't know it was possible to feel so much and so little.

Him standing two feet in front of me, his brown eyes, neon hair, it was like a foreign memory.

This is really him. Really Josh.

The Josh I knew and I loved.

But I knew that just the word "love" itself was not strong enough a word to describe the feelings I got towards that drummer boy.

I always knew deep down that I would never fully get over Josh. A part of me always knew that if we ever did meet again, the thoughts I tried to lock away would gain access to a key and suddenly, like a tidal wave, would draw back and forth in my head.

I felt Josh. Not in a physical sense but metaphorical. If a word larger and stronger than love were to exist and I was not able to comprehend a name for this feeling, for me  it would be called "Josh".

I guess we just learn to name these feelings after the people who made us feel them.

But I knew he couldn't have felt these same things towards me. Maybe I loved too much. Maybe love draws you in a dark room and you fall into a hundred foot drop off into oblivion. Maybe I fell for Josh.

Pulled away from my thoughts, I heard Josh's voice break into my head.

"(Y/N)?" Josh leaned closer to me.

"Y-Yeah?" I stutter.

"You seemed kind of out of it." Josh chuckled nervously.

"I'm sorry. I guess I was just thinking...about the tour." I lie to him.

"Oh. Well, I wish you the best of luck on tour and I know you're gonna do amazing. You always do." Josh smiles as he wraps his arms around me.

I feel my face start to warm as I sink my head into his chest and his arms engulf the back of my head.

"Thank you, Josh." I pull away.

"No problem." Josh nods.

"Well, I'll see you later I guess?" I shrug and start to back away from the yellow-haired boy.

"Yeah. Later." Josh waves bye as I leave and enter the bus.

The tour bus engine starts up and I sit by the window watching Josh and Tyler wave to me as the tour bus drives farther and farther away from the drummer and his piano playing friend.

A/N: OK that got deep

REPRESS IT? YUP!

anyway, yeah sorry it's been f o r e v e r since my last update!! i've been experiencing major writer's block :-( but i'm glad i got this chapter out for you guys even if it's like 10 pm where I live at the moment (srsly i wrote this in like an hour so sorry if it sucked a lot lol)

i'll see u all in the next chapter, stay rad!!

later

-b