A/N- Warning casual dismissal of suicide! Multiple attempts of suicide! 

2 Years Later~

Shikamaru opened his eyes slowly from the healing pool he was soaking in. The stone door slid open and Naruto came inside completely naked and sat in the pool with him. "Did work go well today?" Shikamaru found himself asking as he caught a glimpse of the name of Naruto's neck. 

"It was fine, did you make friends today?" Naruto commented in return. 

"Can't make friends if I'm being followed by Anbu now, can I?" Shikamaru chuckled a bit at the thought of him having friends. "The children are wonderful though, I idly wondered if you truly love children." 

"I do love children; would you like to have children." 

"Aren't you weary of me damaging myself to kill your spawn in the womb," Shikamaru's eyes were hazy and dull, he had certainly given up on escaping his soulmate. Life could be worse; he was living in paradise compared to those beyond the wall of Kumo. 

"I wouldn't care, I'd just keep breeding you until you finally let one through," Naruto suddenly smiled and reached over to caress the other's cheek. "Besides watching you throw yourself down a flight of stairs might be amusing to watch. Or perhaps you stab yourself in the womb just like how you did to your eyes when you first got here." 

"I'm working up the courage you say I lack," Shikamaru swam into Naruto's arms and cupped the blonde's cheeks. "One day you're going to come home to me dead on the floor." 

Naruto leaned down to kiss him, Shikamaru returned the gesture. When they pulled back Naruto looked him in the eye and with no regrets said the following words. "Make it a beautiful death, I want to see your pale corpse in all its glory in whatever form of death you choose. Wear your wedding dress when you do it. " 

Shikamaru nodded with a smile as they became passionate in the pool. This was their dynamic now. Shikamaru would attempt suicide and fail, he would come to the healing pool when he realized it didn't give him a quick death. It was sickening how morbid their relationship had gotten. Naruto was completely fine with how dark Shikamaru had become, he had come home to Shikamaru in the bathtub with slit wrists and he laughed at the scene. 

"Try something creative Shikamaru, I won't have a dead spouse who died from a typical suicide attempt." 

It became a game of sorts for them. Both kept track of the attempts and Naruto even suggested and helped him in some cases. They had gotten some weird looks as they didn't hide that Shikamaru was actively seeking suicide as a relief from the blonde. Naruto was far too relaxed and his siblings were concerned. How could someone treat their fated partner so casually when they talked about actively seeking death? But they figured they were a sick pair for each other. Truly a match made in hell, the only thing Shikamaru had to be prodded to get to that point. 

Their marriage was a bit unexpected but Naruto was just following Shikamaru's request. He didn't want the Nara name anymore so he took the Uzumaki name. Things were peaceful until only a month after Shikamaru started harming himself. It was too much to be around them especially when Naruto would constantly put him down for his attempts. It was toxic and concerning but they seemed to be enraptured with each other. Constantly revolving around the vat of acid they created whenever they got a new idea in their head. 

Later that night while Shikamaru slept in their marital bed Naruto sat by the window smoking. He looked at the full moon and sighed as he looked over at his husband. 'I wonder if you're just teasing me. Are you going to kill yourself one day?' He thought as he reminisced about the past actions and leaps Shikamaru had taken in an attempt to end his life. He smiled fondly the first time he caught Shikamaru trying suicide. 

"Hanging yourself? Really?" He snorted at the sight. He snapped the rope and slammed his fist into the other's chest. Shikamaru woke up really quickly and scowled at him. Naruto only rolled his eyes. "Don't be cliche, can't have shinobi seeing that shit. Be spontaneous, throwing yourself off a cliff would be even better." 

Naruto walked over to the bed, sat beside Shikamaru, and locked his hand around the other's throat. "I could just strangle you and call it quits." 

"But it would be killing the fun too early won't it," Shikamaru's eyes immediately snapped open as he caressed the hand that was close to choking him to death. "You like fun, don't you? I'm not boring you, am I?" 

"Not at all, it's rather arousing seeing you kill yourself so many times. But sometimes it's like you're pulling me to the edge of a cliff and leaving me hanging when you survive. It's like you're sucking my cock but pull back when I'm just about to burst," Naruto scowled and his hand tightened around his throat. "I just want you to succeed but not succeed at the same time. I can't explain it but that's how I feel. I love you very much but your dead corpse would give me a high like no other." 

"I feel like you would fuck my corpse," Shikamaru narrowed his eyes but Naruto sneered at him. 

"I may be a lot of things but fucking a corpse is out of line, even for me," Naruto scowled and pulled his hand away. Shikamaru smiled and nodded. He pulled Naruto down into a hug and they cuddled for the night. 

The next morning while Naruto was eating breakfast he watched with a curious expression as Shikamaru slashed his wrists to pieces. He raised an eyebrow and Shikamaru shook his head and continued to let it drain down the sink. "If you wanted your blood drained from your body you could've asked me but I don't see the fun in it." 

"Sometimes I think of dying in a boring way just to piss you off," Shikamaru smiled as he bandaged his wrists. He wanted to feel faint today, no suicide just wanted to feel a bit ill. 

"You wouldn't," Naruto scowled. 

"Might just take some pills while you're gone." 

"Shikamaru don't be boring please," Naruto begged as he pushed his half-eaten plate away. "Come here let me kiss you." 

Shikamaru dropped himself in the blonde's lap and was pampered by the other but he winced when Naruto dug his claws into his wrists. They both moaned and the scent of blood drove them wild as Shikamaru pressed his body closer to his blonde husband. "You've changed my life you know? I've loved and hated you but I guess you knew I never truly hated you," Shikamaru murmured quietly. 

"Are you saying your final words?" Naruto smiled as he trailed his hands up his kimono and his smile got bigger as he noted Shikamaru was aroused. "Are you purposely riling me up? Shikamaru what did I tell you about being a cock tease?" 

"Don't worry, I'm having fun too," Shikamaru giggled as the insanity shone in his eyes. Naruto knew that look; he had that look when he looked in the mirror. "If I should leave this world, you will follow me. Either double suicide or no suicide."  

"You finally found the answer I wanted, truly you are worthy of being my soulmate," Naruto smiled as he kissed along his neck. "Truly life would be boring if you left me alone, so please be ready for your eternity." 

"Is there anything to look forward to in the afterlife?" 

"I am only a demon I know nothing about the precious afterlife you humans seek." 

"I figured," Shikamaru caressed his face and kissed the blonde's forehead. "We're screwed in the head but we'll be fine." 

Naruto laughed heartily and Shikamaru smiled at how normal he seemed. 

A/N- And that's it! One must admit that it was a journey, I need a break from twisted NaruShika. I have always had this in mind since middle school. Like come on give Naruto an evil arc, I refuse to believe he endured all that and was only sad. Like not even a bit angry? This was me bringing it to the page. 

On a lighter note, my next story comes straight from Nara One-shots. I am happy to introduce that Fixation is ready for publication. Expect it right after this chapter is posted. So, enjoy a somewhat lighter story. I'm sorry for the angst I caused. *bows politely*