The lights from the lamps all around her made Aubrey squint, using her hand to shield her eyes from the blinding lights of the place. With a sigh of relief, she trotted her way to the railings facing the view of the city.

          "Is everything ready?" She heard a voice behind her, and she smiled, still gazing at the buildings decorated with flashing lights.

           "Yeah. Don't screw this up, alright?"

           The structures below the mountain were so small she felt like she can grasp all of it with just her hand. It's like she was stuck in a dream like landscape, but she couldn't be bothered to wake up if she was truly in a deep sleep. She turned around, adjusting her hair clip so her hair wouldn't be a nuisance, before facing her best friend. They didn't have to say anything to each other to know each other's thoughts and feelings.
          The time for the surprise came earlier than she thought, and Aubrey found herself holding her violin as she watched Lucas saying something to the girl of his life. Which isn't her.

          Aubrey shook her head, ears blocking the words that the couple exchanged. It was only for a few minutes, maybe even seconds, but it felt like an eternity to her. To stand at a fair distance away from them as they chatted, it's hurting her so much that even breathing is such a hard thing to do.

          She took a painful deep breath and smiled through her aching heart when Lucas looked at her, giving her the signal. She didn't even notice that he's already at the piano until he started playing, Aubrey following behind. She closed her eyes, body swaying as the music filled her heart, mending the newly acquired wounds. This is for him anyway, it's okay. At least he's happy.

          The piece that he spent hours on composing, hopping from person to person to ask for their opinion and interpretations finally ended. And just like that, she witnessed the galaxy in his eyes brighten up like she's never seen before. He knelt on the ground, but she knew that it's not time to stop playing yet. She held up her bow, the other stringed instruments that completed the string quartet following her. As she played the serene accompaniment, she watched as Lucas mouthed the words she wished he would say to her, taking out a box and opening it to reveal a ring adorned by diamonds.

           She stood and watched through it all, barely keeping her heart from being alive. The moment that they wrapped each other in their warm embrace as she heard the magical word 'yes', she had to look away to keep herself from breaking down. This is the thing that she hates so much but something that's difficult to control. Being unable to keep your emotions at bay, it's just fearsome.

          It's better to have a shaky bow. It's better to mess up her solo in an audition. Play the coda wrong, miss the conductor's cue, heck, even play like a newbie who doesn't know anything about music theory. She can endure the humiliation.

          But not this.

          As the couple let go of each other, she saw how the girl's tears sparkled when it's illuminated by the lamps. It was this moment that she realized that this may perhaps be one of the best moments in the girl's life, and Aubrey can't possibly ruin it by acting on her own feelings, her irrational emotions that she shouldn't pay attention to.

          The applause came instantly as if she was on stage, but it's different. The ovation and the cheer of the crowd, they weren't for her. But it's alright, because they're for her friend whom she spent a lot of time with, and his love. Sooner or later, she joined the acclamation, shutting down her deepest insecurities and burying them within the darkest corners of her soul. She might be lying to herself a lot, but this time, she can at least be honest with her feelings and to herself. Maybe it's time for her heart to have a break. When the cheering died down, she walked up to the couple, smiling.

          "Congratulations. I'm so happy for the both of you."