I left the house with my bag and started walking towards the school

I turned my phone back on and as usual, those hate messages kept coming through

I put my phone on silent so I couldn't hear the notifications anymore

I plugged my earphones into my phone and played my music as I was walking
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Ten minutes later I finally reached the school but then I saw the people I didn't want to see

The girls...

I saw them but they haven't seen me yet they were too busy talking about something wasn't quite sure yet

I put my calm face back on, I couldn't let them see that their words hurt me.

I took a deep breath and walked past them and knew they were all looking at me

I could feel their eyes on the back of my head

I kept my music on so I didn't have to hear what they had to say about me behind my back

I hate having to be perfect all the time, everyone watching me ever move everything I do people watch

It's very stressful that's one of the reasons I was mean so they would leave me alone. But I only made things worse as people still watched me but in fear

So from that day, I have to show no emotion, no weakness

I always used to pretend my life was perfect that it wasn't. Far from it, my life was horrendous but I pretended it was ok

My confidence when shouting at people was really just an illusion, but no one knows that.

There was only one person who ever tried to understand me, but now she's gone.

I really wanted a second chance, to prove to myself and others that I can change. But maybe they're right that I haven't changed as much as I thought I have.....