☆Do not insult any songs and artist mention in the story, please respect the songs.

Because I Had You
(Shawn Mendes)

Parker's pov

   I groaned tiredly as I stared at the ceiling of my personal room. She said it, in front of the whole people, this is not just a revenge on me but it will cause the whole problem about the copyright of the song between the Stark rebels record and Rogers.

   Liz was sitting on the chair in front of the makeup table, crying ever since the LOA awards show ended.

   (Y/n) won Top female artists, i'm not surprised, she deserves it. She looked so happy with him, holding that awards in his arms. I won male. And still, here i am, unhappy.

   "She doesn't have the right!" Liz yelled into the palm of her hands. "It has already been abandoned, that song was dead to her since she left you!"

   "She wrote it." I said exhaustedly, my mind was all about her.

"I did nothing wrong!" Liz cried more.

"We both did everything wrong. We agreed to do it together."

"How can you say that?! She's a bitch who wants to destroy our career, now that she realized she can't have you!!" She stood up and yelled at me.

"Don't call her that." I told her, and we just stared at each other for so long, long enough that she gave up and wiped her tears up.

"Right. Who am i to say anything now. You still love her." She chuckled sarcastically, applies concealer on her face, covered up all the eyeshadow stains.

"..." I didn't deny but I admit to myself, yeah, i still love her.

"Now all the shits are on me." She whined more and i was so annoyed, I closed my eyes and kept it tight as I inhaled deeply.

"You convinced me, Liz." I finally said, and she turned at me slowly, like she didn't believe what she heard.

"Oh? I'm the bad guy here? Is that right? Now that my career is fucked you're just gonna blame it all on me?"

"I told you we shouldn't lie to Tony that you wrote it and you told me to go for it so yeah, i blame it on you."

"You know what? Parker? Fuck you."

She grabbed her purse and walked passed me, hit my shoulder and headed out with her bodyguard, she probably won't visit the party of the LOA artists tonight.

I dropped myself down on the couch again. All the other singers are probably dressed up for the party, but i'm so tired of everything, I'm guilty and hurt and now all of her songs are haunting me of how much of a dick i was.

"I wish I had you...." I muttered one of my lyric without knowing it.

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Flashback
After the breakup

I woke up feeling nothing at all, i'm not happy, i'm not sad, i'm blank. Like a paper with no words, or a sad song without any lyrics. I got up shirtless, bottles of beer lies everywhere around my rooms.

I was better last night, with alcohol in my vein that helps me erase her out of my mind, or just to feel a little love.

I made a contract with Stark label record, and I'm supposed to be happy about it, i will be famous once my album is out, and i will have so much money, but I won't have her.

These sensations was strong, and powerful, and what you needed to write a song wasn't a text or quotes, but a feelings, how you feels about a situation and explain it in a song, (Y/n) taught me that.

So I grabbed my guitar, my notebook, a pencil and my phone. My feelings match Em so I started with that. It took me only 10 or 11 minutes to finished the whole songs with this overwhelming memory.

I recorded the whole song in my phone then realized i'm going to be late for a meeting with Mr Stark. I took a quick bath and put on my clothes, i hope I don't look too cheap, i mean, even if i do, he know i'm kind of broke right now.

I drove my bike to the Stark's tower, fortunately it's nearby, so I wasn't late. I took an elevator to meet him at his office, checked myself in the mirror, making sure I don't have toothpaste on my lips or anything.

It opened up to see Happy Hogan, Tony's assistant who was talking through phone. He put his hand to cover it up as he told me. "His office. Now."

"Yeah, okay. Morning." I nodded and smiled to Mr Stark's employees who smiled strangely at me, Mr Stark was in his office, talking to a girl.

I opened up the glass's door, they both looked at me and smiled.

"Oh! Yeah. That's Peter Parker that I mentioned." Stark told the girl.

"Hi. I'm Peter, Peter Parker." I shook her hand.

"I'm Liz Allan." She smiled.

"Peter this is Liz. She wrote songs too, her album will be released 2 weeks after yours. Liz, i'll see you today in the studio, yeah?" He told her.

"Sure. Tony. See you there. Nice to meet you Peter." She waved at us and leave.

"Alright Peter. I'm here to tell you that we are ready to make a music video for your first, debut song, you need to choose which." He sat down on his chair, putting on his sun glasses.

"You want me to choose? I thought the company will choose for me." Not that I don't want to choose, but i'm scared I won't pick the right one.

"You'll be famous or not is up to you, Peter. Even the company is famous, it's up on the artists."

"Okay... we can do, Kid In Love. It's the album's title any way, or Paris In The Rain.?"

"Choose."

"Kid In Love." I shrugged.

"Alright. Kid In Love it is." He nodded. "Any theme, any... ideas? You know? I don't wanna change you much, you can tell me how you'd like the MV to go, you can just sit in a room play a guitar the whole song or have a sci-fi graphics."

I paused to think.

"I want to... recreate a scenario. We can just shoot it in the party, shoot it from the girl's point of view."

"Okay. Simple but classic. I'll tell someone to talk to you about that."

"By the way, Mr Stark... i wrote a song, maybe we could add it to the album?" I said hesitantly, because i was pretty sure the album is complete, and adding more songs will be problem.

"What's it about?" He asked.

"I titled it... Because I Had You." I literally picked the name right at that moment.

"Alright. Play it for me." He said, jerked his face to his guitar on the corner of the room. I heard it was very expensive so i tried not to make a scratch.

I cleared my throat and started singing.

🎼Play the song on this part🎼

"I think it's time that I be honest. Should've told you not to go. Thought I knew just what I wanted. I didn't know myself at all."

All the memories flooded back, the way she turned her back to me, and the sound of the door shut to my face. I should've never let her go.

"You're with somebody i can't be. But i can tell that you're happy."

Pietro Maximoff isn't it? He seems like a great man. I hope he takes good care of her.

"It's time for me to finally meet somebody new. Take her to all the places that I took us to. And she might help me forget but loving her is something I could never do. Because I had, because I had you."

"Pete."

He called my name, so I stopped.

"You don't like it?" I asked.

"No. It's not that. This song is a masterpiece but, it's so freaking depressing. How messed up is your mind right now to write such a beautiful song god damn."

"Thank you. I'm just... hurt I guess." I sighed.

"If you want to get her back and go back to Rogers just tell me okay?"

"I made up my mind, Mr Stark. I'm not going back." I told him.

"Okay. Okay. Just, don't get too sad, it's true that you can write heartbreakingly beautiful songs because of that feelings but, at the same time, take care of yourself, i don't know? Find someone new like the song?"

"So she will help me forget but loving her is something i could never do?" I chuckled softly and sadly, didn't know how I did that.

"Just-- To give yourself a chance, that's all." He said. Then looked upon his watch. "We should probably get going, i have two meetings today."

But i was still sitting there, with his words in my head. Maybe i should really give myself a chance, and for god's sake please don't let it end up like the song.

"Mr Stark."

"Yeah, kid?" He asked.

"You will meet Liz Allan at the studio tonight, right?"

"Yeah, help her with her songs, why?"

"Can i come with you?"

Present day

I looked up at the ceiling, I had my songs played in the back of my mind, everything goes exactly like my how i wrote it, even how much i tried to give myself a chance, I don't deserve it.

But I think it's time I finally found somebody new. And tell myself that she's the one that get me through.

And she might help me forget but loving her is something I just couldn't do. Because I had (Y/n).

🎧