☆Respect another person's taste of music. It is a kind of manners.

Worst In Me
(Julia Michales)

   He was just a boy, desperate to find somewhere to belong, to be someone, to chase his dreams even if he will be alone along the road. He took risks, he loves and he lost, and he knew most are his false but there was nothing he would do to fix it.

   Peter Parker was all alone that night after he pulled you close and then asked you for space. Loneliness could kill him, and that night terrified him how he couldn't even express it into a song.

   He needed his dream, he needed you to be with it.

   You needed to run away from everything, you needed him with you.

   Both of you needed each other but wouldn't give up because of the worst in the both of you.

   When he was unable to express the hole in his chest, you were able to, so when the Victoria Secret's fashion show invited both of you and many other artists to be there, it was another time Peter Parker has to hear a song about him from the audience seat.

   "God. I look like shit." You whined.

   "You look okay." Natasha said.

   "Geez, Have you seen the models? They're so thin, tall and gorgeous. I think I'm so gay for them." You looked at yourself again. "Compare me to them and I want to cry haha."

   Natasha noticed how you were a little off, like you were nervous. "Is it the performance you're nervous about or the fact that Peter will be watching?"

   "Both. I guess. I mean not just him, everyone will be here. All the Odinsons, Even Michelle Jones... I heard the king from Wakanda will be here, too."

   "Have you talk to Peter since that trip, though?"

   "A little through massage, we didn't break up but we are not--- I mean, we're so unclear." You signed. "That's why I wrote this song, maybe we'll talk it out after the performance."

   "Just take it easy. It's a slow song, and you play piano, just do what you do, you can do it." Nat patted your head as if you were her child.

   The backstage filled with many Victoria angels and staff, you can hear their noises even in your dressing room, it made you so anxious.

   The staff came to the room and called you out, it was 5 minutes into the show and they needed you to go and standby. You looked at yourself one more time.

   "Don't fucking crack." You told your voice. Inhale and exhale then finally walked out.

   People looked your way as you were the center of the attention.

   "(Y/n)'s entrance. Stand by." The staff said and you waved to some of the models who smiled for you, the girls were so nice, the theme was dolorous angels and they were dressed in a long white suit with beautiful wings.

   You breathed in and out. Keep calm. Even with Peter Parker as a guest, the show must go on. This is not entirely about him. This is your performance, and you will make the best of it.

   The lights went off, the whole stadium was dark, it was your time to be on the stage. You kept your heartbeat steady as you walked up the stage and sat on the piano's seat.

🎧Play the song here🎧

   The spotlights slowly turned on and all of them were shining on you. People started applauded for your appearance but you gently put your fingers on the key.

   "Remember when I used to be happy for you? You could go out with your female friends and I'd be totally fine."

   Your voice echoed the whole place.

   "Remember when you used to be happy for me? You celebrate all my success without crossing a line."

   You focused on just you and the piano, but all the memories kept coming back.

   The first model angel was released.

   "Now, it's like we're scared of getting good. 'Cause we know the truth is that we could."

   Peter Parker was listening, and that was hard to sing, to tell him what's actually on your mind.

   "Yeah, we know that we might actually work. And the truth is that we could."

   The spotlight shined stronger, as your eyes left the piano keys to the crowd.

   "But maybe it's the worst in me. That's bringing out the worst in you. I know we can fix these kinks. But the worst in me doesn't want to work on things. But the best of me wants to love you. But the worst in me doesn't want to."

   The stage of the Victoria secret is unlike any other, it was a T stage with audiences on the side, and that made it so much easier to found Peter Parker. Both of you got a glance at each other.

   "It's almost like I've gotten so used to resentment. That every annoying little thing you say has lost its effect."

   You literally stared at him singing it, Peter just looked back with the same hurt face.

   "It's almost like it's made you a little bit bitter. When I don't always react the way you expect."

   Your voice was shaking as it was definitely not a good idea to be sad singing, so you looked away to keep the show goes on.

   "It's like we're scared of getting good. 'Cause we know the truth is that we could. Yeah, we know that we might actually work. And the truth is that we could."

   "But maybe it's the worst in me. That's bringing out the worst in you. I know we can fix these kinks. But the worst in me doesn't want to work on things. But the best of me wants to love you. But the worst in me doesn't want to."

   You couldn't help but to look at him again, you made eye contact and your gaze was a question, you asked him with the song and now your eyes, Parker just looked lost and he looked away finally.

   "I won't hurt you again, If you won't, if you won't. But, baby, I won't lose you again. If you won't, if you won't." You told him, asking if there was still a chance for the two of you.

   "Remember when I used to be happy for you?" He looked directly back from the crowd and he nodded sadly.

   You got up from the piano and walked down the stage. "But maybe it's the worst in me. That's bringing out the worst in you. I know we can fix these kinks. But the worst in me doesn't want to work on things. But the best of me wants to love you. But the worst in me doesn't want to."

   You meant everything you sang, the whole thing was so personal that when the fashion show end and everyone applauded, you couldn't smile, your mind was only on Parker, your head was only about him.

   You turned around, heading back to the backstage, you gave the last glance at him just to realize Michelle Jones was seated next to him, and he was looking at her and not you.

🎧
🎧
🎧

You cried.

Classic (Y/n).

You were in your dressing room, crying, breaking down from trying to look strong in front of everyone, when someone knocked on the door.

You thought it was Natasha so you crawled your way with tears and tissue to the door and opened it up, just to almost screamed because it was King T'Challa and his sister Shuri.

"Ah!" You yelled and he looked back shockingly. You then realized it was not appropriate so you bowed.

"Oh. We don't do that here." He said.

"Sorry... Ugh. Nice to meet you, your majesty." You wished you knew how to speak with royalty.

"It's okay! We're all chill here." His sister said then shook your hands. You felt like touching gold since she was a princess.

"Thank you... I'm (Y/n)."

Shuri laughed. "Of course we know you, that's why we're here to visit, I hope we're not interrupting or anything since you're crying... are you okay?"

"I'll be okay, just, everyday drama." You said.

"Great. I was the one asking to visit you. Girl, you're my favorite. In Wakanda, we stream your songs day and night."

"Oh, thank you so much." A princess stan you, you felt blessed.

"In anyhow." The king continued. "We came here with the hope to invite you to a concert in Wakanda."

"..."

"..." The king looked serious.

"Concert in Wakanda, your majesty?" You repeated.

Shuri replied instead. "Yes, we recently just opened our country, you know? Now we want to make some noises."

"Sounds great, I'll definitely let my manager Natasha see if I'm available on that day, thank you so much for thinking of me."

"Amazing!"

The king left but Shuri stayed, she was one of your biggest fans and you were excited of getting to talk with a princess, the two of you became friends fast and you shared her some of what happened between you and Peter.

"Now I get the meaning of worst in me." She said like she discovered a conspiracy.

"Yeah... Even now he wouldn't clarify what the hell happened between us."

"I hope you're okay, because my people invited him to the concert, too. To perform."

"I understand, of course."

She patted your shoulder. "Anyway, your birthday is coming is it...?" She smiled.

"Oh. Right." You totally forgot.

"Are you throwing a party?"

"I think so, Natasha usually arrange it. You're definitely invited, my princess." You smiled.

"Aw. Thank you so much! You totally nailed it today, keep up the good music. Let Peter Parker be confused with himself, you're doing amazing sweetie." She said and then she left.

You stood there for a while, thinking of many things that happened, many pieces of advice people gave you.

That night you couldn't sleep, and maybe it was an effect of loneliness, you couldn't stop yourself from calling him.

You hoped to god he didn't pick up, but he did.

"Hi..." You said softly.

"Hey." He replied just as soft.

"Listen... I know we haven't been easy, and I understand if you want your space, but, my birthday is coming." You bit your nails, waiting for him to reply.

"I know. I remember." He said.

"Okay." You said, then it was just silent.

Finally, he said something back. "I have to shoot the movie that day... but I'll be there."

The fact that he shoots it on the day he knew was your birthday made it all uneasy, yet you kept your voice calm.

   "Thank you... that's good to hear. I'll see you there."

   You were about to hang up but he called out.

   "(Y/n)."

   "...Yes?"

   "I'm sorry, but the worst in me doesn't want to neither."

   And he hung up.

🎼