Chapter 11

Sunday comes around, I still haven't gotten my thoughts in line. I don't know how or even if I want to tell Blake anything. I don't even know where I should start. I sit in my bed and close my eyes. Blake is great, he really is, but now that I know he won't be here I feel selfish is wanting to keep him. I open my eyes. I start watching Jess reading her book on her bed. Well, I need some type of advice.

"Hey, Jess got a min?" Jess looks up from her book.

"Yeah, what's up?" she closes her book.

"What would you do if a friend liked you, not as a friend but like in a romantic way?" I say looking out the window.

"I would say It depends, what I feel for him? You know if I like him the same or if I really appreciate our friendship." she thinks hard.

"So, let's say you don't know what you feel, but you don't want to lose him. But you're also scared that if you don't say what he wants to hear, he'll get hurt," I look for a way for her to understand.

"Well, it's simple, just tell him what you feel. Maybe you can't return his feeling but if he really cares he'll understand. And with time you'll figure out your own feeling. If it's meant to be, time can only tell." Coming from my sister, I am amazed, her talking not only makes sense, but I am also proud she can think like a grown-up.

"Your right, thanks," With that, I go to sleep.

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Mondays are always dreadful. I've been avoiding any encounters with Blake; I just need to make sure I am not about to do something stupid. I want to make sure I do it right. I even skipped lunch and went to the library instead.

"Still mad at me? For ditching you and going to Taylor's" I turn around and find Lura fidgeting with her fingernails.

I smile a bit, "You know, I don't care about that stuff." We talk a bit and walk to the class.

Lura finally pops up the question, " Do you like Blake?"

I avoid the question and instead ask, "Why didn't you tell me you liked him?"

She lets out a big sigh, "Well, because He told me he wanted to give you a chance and get to know you. Remember when he would talk to me a lot, it was because he was asking about you. He told me that if you tell him that you don't like him, then he would give me a chance."

I don't look at her, "You don't want me to talk to him anymore?"

she hesitates, "You surely don't like him, I've liked him for a long time now. You give him false hope and it won't be fair if you keep doing that."

"Yeah, I guess not" I enter class.

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"How are you?" Luke leans on the lockers next to mine.

"Fine, thanks," I close my locker, " How close are you with Blake?" he's still leaning on the lockers when I look at him.

"Childhood friends I suppose."

"I see," I start walking but pause turn around, "Are you going to stay glued to the locker." He smiles and follows. I don't know what to do, nor do I have someone I can talk to but I want to try and care one more time. Once practice starts, we warm-up, I was lucky in avoiding Blake all day, but I don't think I could pull that in practice.

"Ready?" Luke comes to where I am and passes me the ball. We practice some drills; I search around with curiosity if maybe I could spot Blake. I don't see him, after a while, i look again. distracted, I don't see the ball coming and wham. I get knocked down.

"Oww," I touch my injury with my hand, the ball got me good. "Hey, you OK?" Luke asks as he helps.

"No, I am not. I don't see Blake," I say shakily.

"Abby, He leaves today. He just came by to say goodbye during lunch. You didn't see him all day because he came by to clear his locker. I thought he told you" Luke explains.

I pause, "Where is he?"

"I don't know he was in the locker room. he's probably on his way home by now," Before he could finish talking, I am out of the gym and run towards the guy's side of the gym. I can't go in, and I doubt that Blake is in there. I run down the hallway but bump into Lura. Surprised she asks, "what are doing?" When I don't explain myself and keep running.

she cries out, "You promised." I don't listen I run until I see someone walking outside of the school entrance with a box.

"Hey, watch it, kid," the person with the box wasn't Blake it was the janitor. I might have tugged him a little too hard.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else, I'm very sorry. " He leaves and I just watch him while I catch my breath, I look sideways. I don't know where he is. calling out to him won't help. I guess I missed him. Now he is gone. I let out a sigh, I turn around a little too suddenly.

"Woah, Abby." Blake. I lose my tongue. I look at him, my eyes slowly start to water. "What's wrong? Did Taylor do something again?"

"Why?" I mumble as a tear drops.

"What?" he asks, he's carrying a box, "I didn't catch that."

"Why," I say a little louder and look at him, "Why? WHY? WHY!?"

"Abby, what's wrong?" He starts putting his box down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I hit him. " You told everyone but me."

He hesitates, "Give a good reason why?"

I look at him, "Why?"

"Yeah, why should've I told? I am the only one that looks happy when I see you."

"No that's not true, because... because."

"Because what? What Abby?" he starts getting frustrated

"Because I care. You're my friend. You're the only person who still cares in regard to how I treat them. And I am really tired of saying good-bye. "

"Abby, that's not enough. And you know that."

"I don't like you. We both know that, but. But you are important to me. I am tired. Tired of people leaving me. Leaving me alone. I can't let someone else leave my life like that. Not anymore. I am not a good person, nor a good friend. I treated you coldly but believe me when I say I didn't know you liked me. If I had, I would've had more time to think. I care for you, I like you very much, even if that like is not the same as yours. But with time it can change if you give me a chance." After a while, we stand awkwardly.

Blake thinks really hard for a while, "Thanks." He hugs me like it's his last time ever.

"I will not force feelings on you. And even with this distance, I will still be your friend, even when you don't share my feelings." He picks up his things, and before he leaves, he turns around, "Abby." He waves and shows me his smile one last time.

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