i would never hurt you like that Harry, i'm not strong enough without you. i thought you knew.

i know what it's like to cry for days, not getting out of bed. it's a sad world we live in Harry.

i also know how it feels like to slash open your own skin, to purge out the cold food and to stand in front of a railway and knowing you'd like to end everything and just jump; i don't know what i hate more, losing someone you love;

Or losing yourself.

Abby. x

PS. I'm not mad.

on monday i sent him the letter and he thanked me over the phone

on tuesday we made up

but i couldn't help myself so i hurt myself again

on wednesday you saw the scars when i accidently rolled up my sleeves;

you looked at them in pure awe and asked me if i was willing to stop

on thursday i told you i'd be willing to stop

if you'd stop talking about your ex

we made a deal

on friday i kissed you spontaniously and somewhere along the way you pushed me down on the bed and ripped my clothes off my body

on saturday you asked me if i had been a virgin

i laughed until i had to cry

on sunday i got a letter back

Dear Abby,

i'm glad it's finally okay between me and you. you are right, my ex doesn't deserve that kind of treatment and i'd like to search my happiness with you.

your eyes have a hint of blue in them and i really like them. did i already tell you that? i must sound crazy but your golden eyes look blue. is that weird? is it weird that i can't stop thinking about you, even after a bottle of strong liquid?

is it weird that i don't even care if i'm dying

as long as i have you there when i close my eyes for the last time?

your Harry.