Chapter ten - fire


I considered titling this chapter Santa's Flesh like so many of you suggested, but my one seemed to fit better.


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[REWIND FOR A MOMENT HERE…]

“They’re nearly there, you know, they’ve nearly made it the law for blacks to be straight,” Ray said bitterly.

“It’s fucking awful!” I said. “You can’t just stop people being who they are.”

“Tell that to the council.”

There was silence for a few moments. Mikey and Ray held each other, and I glared at the floor.

“I fucking will,” I said fiercely. I stood up.

“What are you doing?” asked Ray warily.

“I’m going to tell the council what I think of their stupid fucking prejudice.”

“Frank, you can’t!” Mikey said hoarsely. “They’ll kill you!”

“Whatever,” I muttered. “I’ll be the first martyr for the cause.”

[AND BACK TO THE PRESENT…]

I threw the door open carelessly and stormed out of the tent, furious. I was so intent on just marching straight into the Candidus building and telling those fuckers exactly what I thought about their corrupted political system that I didn’t see the person walking right towards me with his head down. We collided and fell to the ground, and I was met with the familiar sound of a confused and frightened stutter.

“Gerard?” I said.

“Frank,” he said quietly. He sounded small, nervous, and completely the opposite of how he had been acting recently. He scrambled to stand up and quickly shied away from me when he realised that we had been touching.

“Oh, shit,” I mumbled, looking down at my black stained body. “Not again.”

When I looked back up I saw that Gerard had been covered with a similar pattern of white smudges.

“S-sorry,” he stammered.

“My fault,” I admitted. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Gerard half laughed. “Neither was I.” He had smiled briefly when he laughed, but still, it looked closer to a grimace than a real smile. And now that I was thinking about it, he didn’t look very happy at all.

He looked miserable.

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly. I didn’t care that I was supposed to be cutting him out of my life. He looked really hurt. “Gee?”

He swallowed. “I’m fine,” he mumbled.

I frowned. “No, you’re not. You’re sad,” I said quietly.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, but his voice cracked halfway through, and that was when he broke. “R-Renée dumped me.”

“Oh.”

“I t-told her about all my ideas about the revolution against r-racism and homophobia and she told me they were s-stupid. She told me the world was f-fine the way it was and that if gays d-didn’t want to be arrested they should just stop being gay or something, and then I told her that that was a horrible thing to say because you can’t just stop people being who they are!” Gerard was half hysterical now. “But she wouldn’t just open her mind for a second, and she said I was being an idiot, and that if I liked gays so much I should just go and fucking be one.”

“Oh. God. Okay.”

He stared at the floor and let out a small sob. “I love her, but if she’s going to be that awful and criticize everything I believe in, I can’t stay with her.”

“You’re right,” I said. And I wasn’t just saying it because I wanted them to break up. If someone was that offensive about things I cared about, there would be no way I would stay with them. “She doesn’t deserve you, okay?”

Gerard sniffed, but stopped sobbing.

“Look, Gerard, you’re amazing. Your ideas are amazing. And someday, you are going to start a revolution. And if she won’t be right by your side when you’re fighting for what you believe in, then why should she be with you now?”

Gerard shrugged.

“She shouldn’t. Okay? You deserve so much more than that.”

“Okay,” he muttered.

He still looked utterly miserable, and I knew I shouldn’t be this bothered after he completely abandoned me as a friend, but I was. I cared about him, and I didn’t think that was going to change for a little while at least.

I put a hand on his shoulder and he jumped away.

“I’ll get you all smudgy,” he mumbled shyly.

“I’m already all smudgy. I don’t care,” I said gently.

“Okay,” he said almost inaudibly, and I wrapped my arms around him. He buried his face in my neck and sighed shakily.

He was warm. Soft. Everything I had imagined lying awake at night pretending not to think about him. He held onto me like a lifeline, but I tried to make it less obvious how desperate I was to keep him close.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, his breath warm on my neck.

“It’s okay,” I said softly.

----

“Frank, what happened to you?” Ray stared at me as I walked back into the tent.

“How’d the uprising go?” Mikey asked.

“Oh,” I said, remembering what I had originally left the tent for.

My fiery rage had been dampened when I saw Gerard crying and my heart melted.

“I, uh,” I said. “I found Gerard.”

Just on cue, Gerard trudged into the tent behind me, head hanging low. He was covered in splashes of white, all along his arms, on his legs, his neck, even parts of his hair. He looked a mess.

“I wasn’t attacked or anything, if that’s what you guys were thinking,” he mumbled. “Renée broke up with me.”

“And then she turned into a white person?” Ray asked, confused.

“No. That was Frank. He’s covered in black. Wasn’t it obvious?”

Ray shrugged awkwardly.

“Why did she break up with you, Gee?” Mikey asked.

“She didn’t like my revolution idea,” Gerard muttered.

“What?”

“She s-said things are fine the way they are, and that if I care about you faggots so much I should j-just go and fucking turn myself. And- she said it like an insult.”

“That bitch.”

Gerard sighed and slumped down onto his bed. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“No, you’re not,” I said fiercely, sitting down beside him and wrapping an arm around him.

He squirmed away again, embarrassed, and I laughed quietly. “In for a penny, in for a pound,” I shrugged, glancing down at the black smudges already all over me.

He smiled slightly, and leaned over so I could put my arm around him. I curled my arm around his waist and he let his head fall onto my shoulder.

“She’s an idiot,” I said. “You’re not an idiot. She just… confused you.”

“I was s-stupid enough to be confused,” he mumbled.

“Everyone’s stupid sometimes. Just before I bumped into you I was planning on starting the revolution alone,” I murmured.

“Without me?” he asked, mock offended.

“Yeah,” I laughed.

He laughed too, softer than me, but warmer. “I don’t think we’re quite ready to start the rebellion yet. We haven’t got an army yet.”

“Yet,” I echoed. “We’re going to have an army?”

Gerard nodded, hiding a smile in my shoulder.

“What else have you got planned?” I asked, not attempting to cover up my smile.

“I want us to all be equal... but somehow the council thinks that’s unfair. We’re going to try peaceful protest at first. But I have a feeling it’s not going to work. So we’re going to do what needs to be done,” he said quietly.

“Do you think you’re willing to die for it?” I asked.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to make the world a better place,” he said softly.

There was silence for a few moments. Thoughts ran through my head. I was sort of re-evaluating how far I was willing to take this. If I was fighting with Gerard- for Gerard… “I will too,” I whispered. “Whatever it takes.”

Gerard looked up. “You’re not even black and you’d still…” He looked kind of awed. “You’re such a good person,” he mumbled.

I smiled shyly, feeling a blush creeping up my neck.

“We might not have a proper army yet,” Gerard said, “but we still have an army of two.”

“Three,” Ray added.

“Four,” Mikey said.

“And maybe Bob might tag along too,” I grinned.