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CHAPTER FOUR
PAST LIFE TRAGEDIES

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      Katherine still wasn't quite used to the Thanksgiving holiday.

      Even though she'd been observing it for longer than she hadn't been, it was still weird. Back home in Sweden, Thanksgiving was just another Thursday afternoon. She would wake up, spend the day with her family, and then they'd go to bed when the night came. Then, when she started spending it with Sophia and the Benjamins, she hadn't really considered it a holiday as much as it was a get together with Sophia and her family. Also, she didn't exactly enjoy the implications behind Thanksgiving. She'd been horrified when Sophia had explained the history behind Thanksgiving. So when she woke up on Thanksgiving morning, it took her several moments to realize that it wasn't just a regular Thursday and there was a turkey that she had left out to thaw sitting on the counter.

      It was later than she normally woke up. The clock next to her bed told her that it was just shy of five in the morning, but she knew it was a groggy kind of day. She could feel it in her bones as she gently stood from her bed and got into some gym clothes. For once, Captain Rogers has his bedroom door wide open. He must have woken up before her and already started their little ritual of working out in the morning. When she walked to the gym, she saw him with the punching bag and sent him a tired smile.

      "Happy Thanksgiving," she said softly when his flying fists came to a stop. He turned to give her a minuscule smile. "Any particular way you want the turkey made tonight?"

      He shook his head and got back to punching. Katherine sighed. It was going to be a quiet morning. Mornings with Captain Rogers were usually categorized in one of three ways: quiet, optimistic, or stagnant. The optimistic ones were obviously her favorite, when he would engage her in conversations and excitedly want to watch a documentary or listen to more music. Those were the mornings she cherished in the dull safe house. They made time go by quicker. The quiet ones were the most boring. He would utter maybe three sentences throughout the entire day, and while he wasn't necessarily rude, he didn't acknowledge her much. The stagnant ones were somewhere in between, a nice middle that Katherine didn't mind.

      It had been two weeks since they'd been in the safe house and they'd gotten their little routine down. Gym in the mornings (with neither of them acknowledging the real reason they were both us so early), followed by breakfast. Then, they'd either watch a documentary or play Scrabble with the board Lionel had bought for them. She'd know Captain Rogers was smart, but she'd been a little peeved when he'd used the word quiz and it had landed on a triple point letter space and a double word letter space. After that, they'd eat some kind of lunch and she'd show him some different vinyls. Sometimes Lionel came by after that, sometimes he didn't. On the days he was there, he'd eat dinner with them. Then, they'd go to bed early, knowing that the following day would be a repetition.

      The only thing that changed was Captain Rogers's moods.

       Knowing he was probably done talking for the rest of the morning, she made her way to the elliptical and started her normal thirty minutes of cardio. Lionel had picked up some cheap headphones from the store so she had some music to listen to. Plugging it into her too ancient iPod that she was sure Apple didn't even make anymore, she turned on whatever music was loud enough and fast enough to get her through the sleepy morning. She usually didn't listen to music on the iPod if the Captain was in a talking mood; they usually left the radio in the gym on a low enough hum so they could hear each other speak but still enjoy the music. On his quiet days, the radio sat untouched.

      After the elliptical, she sat on the floor to do some yoga. It had been a while since Sophia had dragged her to yoga classes, but she remembered most of the basics. Her body protested a little, but as she continued with the poses, it welcomed the familiar ache and soreness of her unused muscles. 

      "What are you doing?" Captain Rogers asked, and Katherine's eyes flew open, unaware she had even closed them. She realized he had stopped pounding on the punching bag and was watching her with a slightly horrified expression, like he didn't know a body could bend that way. She let out a small laugh at the terror on his face.

      "Yoga. It's a type of exercise that originated in India. It's good for flexibility and calming." Katherine sat up and stared at him, a small smile on her face. "I could teach you some poses if you want. I'm not advanced by any means, but Sophia and I used to take classes." Sophia had always been more into yoga than Katherine was, but Katherine was sure she could teach Captain Rogers the beginner's poses.

      "I'd rather not," he mentioned. "I'll stick to the punching bag."

      Katherine shrugged, stretching her body forward until her fingers touched her toes and her forehead touched her knees. She noticed him wince from the corner of her eye and laughed again, stretching out for a couple more seconds before she sat back up and stood from the floor. "I'm going to go shower and then start on the turkey."

      She was halfway out of the gym when he called her name, stopping her. "Agent Baker," he said, rubbing the back of his neck like he was embarrassed, "sorry for the mood earlier. I just... it's the first Thanksgiving I've celebrated without Bucky or Annie."

      In an instant, her heart went out to him. She remembered the first holiday without her family. There was a feeling of emptiness that would never go away, made worse by the cheer of others. "It's the first one I've spent away from Sophia, so I understand." He nodded, but his heart wasn't in it and she could tell. "It's just us tonight. Lionel was given permission to fly back to see his family, so he's landing pretty soon." She didn't envy the red-eye that Lionel had to catch. "I promise I'm better company than I seem," she laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck in a motion similar to his.

      "You're fine company, Agent Baker. More than I probably deserve."

      The unexpected compliment made her chest feel warm and her lips quirk up in a smile. "Thanks." She hooked a thumb behind her in the direction of the house. "Alright, I'm off."

      Taking the stairs two at a time, she made her way to the bathroom and scrubbed her body and hair quickly. She wanted to make sure the turkey had enough time to be in the oven. Never having prepared the Thanksgiving turkey (that was Sophia's father's job), she was a little nervous. There had been a fairly easy recipe online about putting onions and apple slices in the pan that she was going to try out, but she just hope it would turn out good enough for Captain Rogers's first Thanksgiving since the 1940's.

      After she was out and her hair was tied up in a ponytail, her sweats exchanged for comfortable leggings and a big sweater that fell to her mid-thigh, she padded down the stairs to the kitchen. She collected all she needed from the fridge and got to work, rolling up her sleeves and preparing herself for the task of removing the turkey's innards.

      That's how Captain Rogers found her. He raised an eyebrow.

      "I'm sure this looks unflattering," she commented when he sat at a barstool. She was glad that he seemed to have snapped out of his quiet mood. "But hopefully it will be a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner."

      "With the way you cook, I'm sure it will be. You need any help?"

      She thought about declining, but then saw the hopeful look on his face and her heart wouldn't let her. "Sure. You can cut the apples and onions for me. Just wedge slices are fine." She set out two bowls for him to put the slices into and grabbed a knife. "What did you guys normally do for Thanksgiving?" Katherine asked softly, deciding that she was a coward for not looking at him when she asked. She didn't want to see the nostalgic look that she was sure had taken over. And maybe if she looked away, he wouldn't ask about her family.

      "Annie made the turkey and Bucky and I tried to make the sides. We usually messed them up. The last Thanksgiving, we were stationed somewhere for the Commandos. Annie surprised us all and made us a meal out of whatever she could find. It wasn't a big turkey or anything, but it was nice to sit together and just relax for the time being. Howard offered to fly us all over Paris to see the lights at night. It was the first Thanksgiving I'd spent away from home, but it was one of the best."

      "It sounds like a day to remember," she said gently, realizing the wistful tone in his voice. He turned his eyes to her and the question was there in them. "I didn't observe it until I moved to the United States. There I was, a scrawny little ten-year-old invited to the Benjamin household. Sophia's adopted," she noticed the Captain's surprised look and nodded, "she was born in Cuba and Wendy and Timothy are from Mexico. Imagine a little Swedish kid in the heart of a household that only speak Spanish. Different kinds of Spanish, too. Sophia has about seventy cousins, and they all crowd around Sophia's childhood home. It took me a while to feel like I belonged there with them. They didn't really celebrate, because they didn't agree with the history behind Thanksgiving, but it was more like a get-together. They were so kind. Wendy would always make me cherry pie because she knew it was my favorite. One Thanksgiving she tried to make me Jansson's frestelse, which is sort of a potato and anchovy casserole." At Captain Rogers's look, she laughed. "Sweden loves their fish."

      "Did you ever start feeling like you belonged there? The way you and Sophia acted with each other, it's hard to imagine you ever felt that way."

      "Eventually I did. Wendy and Timothy are for all intents and purposes, my mother and father. They raised me like their own."

      "And your real parents?"

      Katherine's hands stilled in their movement. She had briefly wondered in their two weeks together when he would gain the courage to ask. She knew it wasn't fair, that she knew so much about him but he only knew bits and pieces about her. He knew that her family was gone, based on the way that she avoided the topic whenever it was brought up. She went quiet, turning the question over in her head. Captain Rogers looked like he was going to apologize, but didn't know how. "That's a conversation for another day," she finally decided to say. "How are those slices coming along?"

      "Well, if being Captain America ever fails, I probably have a career as a professional slicer," he mentioned, showcasing the slices he had made already.

      "Is that so?" she laughed, shaking her head. "It's always good to know you have backup options."

      The two of them continued their food preparation, occasionally laughing at a joke Captain Rogers made or at Katherine's hesitance to do anything wrong to the first Thanksgiving turkey she had ever prepared. Once the turkey was done, they put it in the oven and got started on the sides. The Captain was at more of a loss as to what to do when it came to sides, so she put him in charge of making the gravy, since it was difficult to mess up. 

      The conversation was kept light, an unspoken understanding between the two of them that today needed to be kept happy, unhindered by the pain of their pasts. He didn't ask anymore questions about her real family, instead keeping his interest on Sophia and her parents. She didn't bring up his mother or father and tried to let him lead the conversations about his life, so she didn't bring up anything about Annie or Bucky that he didn't want to remember. Then, when they had exhausted the topic of family, he asked her about Sweden. It was harder to remember details about it because she hadn't been there in so long, but she provided him what information she could.

      "Lots of fish dishes," she mentioned, smiling. "Lots of ABBA, as you know. My mother used to tell me tales about Viking blood that ran through our family. It wasn't true, of course, but it was always fun to listen to." She turned his gravy down to a simmer when he wasn't looking, not wanting to insult him by messing with his dish. "She also used to tell us we were ancestors to Thor, the Nordic god of thunder, but that was definitely false."

      "We only learned about the Greek ones growing up."

      "Nordic gods are better. I'll teach you about them," Katherine said. He nodded seriously, as if she was handing him a mission he needed to complete. It was nice to be taken seriously, she decided. Even if it was something as small as the stories her mother used to tell her growing up. "Our sides look like they're coming along well. Want to go put a movie on or something? I had Lionel pick up a few Disney ones since you liked the documentary so much."

      "Sure," he mentioned, walking over to the living room. On the coffee table was a collection of animated movies, all with the Disney logo in small lettering on top of the titles. There was one with a redheaded mermaid on the cover, one with a lion, and another with a pretty dark-skinned woman in a blue dress with a frog. "Which one do you want to watch?"

      "Whatever one you want to!" He heard Katherine call from the kitchen. Deciding on the one titled Princess and the Frog, he set the others back down on the table. He was determined to get it set up by himself without taking Katherine away from her task. Bending down so he was eye-to-eye with the DVD player, his finger hovered over one of the buttons. He couldn't remember if the weird triangle with the line underneath was the eject button or the play button, but he took a chance and pressed it. When the device opened, he grinned and swapped out the DVD they had last watched (a movie made in 1947, which was a nice pace for him) and put in Princess and the Frog. Pressing the button again, he watched it close and then pressed the other triangle button that must have meant "play." When the music started up, Steve grinned.

      "I think I actually set it up correctly," he announced from where he was still knelt in front of the television. Slowly but surely, he was getting the hang of things. Katherine had been a huge help in getting him accustomed to the technology of today's world.

      Her head popped out from the kitchen to survey the television. "Looks like it. Turn it up, will you? I'll be there in a minute."

      The thick head of brunette hair disappeared once more as Steve settled himself onto the couch. He was happy that today seemed to be going better than he thought it would have. He had woken up earlier than Katherine, a rare occasion that he took advantage of by going down to the gym before she could get there and ask what was wrong. This was his first Thanksgiving away from the time he was supposed to be in. His first Thanksgiving away from Bucky and Annie. He was expecting to brood today, mind stuck in the memories of Thanksgiving past. He could recognize the look of disappointment on Katherine's face when he had been abrupt and short that morning when she finally wandered into the gym, and immediately wanted to retract his bad behavior. It wasn't her fault he was stuck in a different century. And she had been so helpful, willing to put up living away from her friends to help him adjust.

      Then she had asked him how he wanted his turkey prepared. She was willing to put together a Thanksgiving meal for him. And that, he reasoned, had been enough to get rid of the mood. He should be thankful for her. Thinking that, he nearly chuckled to himself. Guess she top on his list of things he should be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

      "Alright, I think the sides are done. I like to bake my mashed potatoes, so we'll put them in the oven later." She plopped down on the couch with the grace of a toddler. It made Steve laugh to think she was a stealthy agent.

      They sat together, watching the beginning of the movie, with Katherine patiently answering any question he had about the plot. He noticed she lifted her phone every couple of minutes to check and see if someone had texted her. Texting, he thought to himself, was a whole other can of worms he was terrified to open. She had shown him the basics of the phone, how to call and such. And she had laughed when he had sent her a formal text, concluded with a "Sincerely, Steve."

      "Sophia says hello," Katherine said after a few moments of checking her phone. He raised his brow and she showed him the text from Sophia, a bunch of yellow happy faces applied after the text. He parroted the sentiment back to her, knowing Katherine would text Sophia back the statement. "It's weird not being there with her. I can only imagine how weird it would be to be in a different century."

      Steve shrugged, eyes trained on the television to keep from saying something that sounded self-deprecating. The movie was pretty interesting, a different take on a story he was actually familiar with. He wondered if that's why Katherine had made it one of the choices. He had never been to New Orleans either, so it was fun to see the animation's perspective on the city.

      "I was wondering..." Katherine trailed off, her small bare feet propped up on the coffee table. Steve's mother would have had Katherine's head for that, he remembered with a fond smile. Every time Bucky or Steve had tried to lift their feet even in the direction of the table, she would swat them like they were houseflies. "We've been stuck in here for too long. I know Fury said he'd prefer if we don't go out, but if we get you a baseball cap and some sunglasses or something, we could probably go out and sightsee. Lionel would have to call it in, of course, and we'd have to have an agent following behind us just to make sure nothing happens, but I just wanted to ask." She was rambling, he noticed, and realized that she was just as eager to get out of the house as he was.

      That, of course, brought back the guilt. Guilt at the fact that she should have been with Sophia and her family today. She shouldn't have been stuck here with him, bored out of her mind. "I'd love to. If you can set it up, I'll do whatever."

      Her shoulders sagged in relief and it was then he truly realized how small she was. Though, that didn't apply to the obvious muscle definition he could see during their trips to the home gym. He knew she could hold her own. But she was about the size of him before the serum, give or take about an inch or two. The muscles she did have were lean, which didn't add any obvious bulk to her. He suddenly felt like a giant sitting next to her.

      "I'll call it in, then. I'm sure Lionel will be happy to walk around. He and his wife used to travel before she died, so he's always up for seeing new things."

      "Maybe you can buy Sophia a souvenir," he suggested, and her answering smile had the guilt slowly dissipating in his chest. If she could smile like that, he hadn't ruined her life too badly, had he?

      "I was thinking that too." At peace with his acceptance, she faced the television once more, able to fully pay attention to the movie without the weight of her question on her mind. He wondered how long she had been mulling it over, wondering when to ask and if he would even agree.

      "You don't have to..." he struggled to find the right words as she turned to tilt her head at him again. How could he put it into words? "Look, I know you're stuck here because of me. If there's anything you ever want to do, you don't need to ask me. I'm lucky you just put up with me." There. Hopefully she understood that.

      Her eyes softened. He had never noticed them before, but they were a pretty brown color. The only thing he had to compare them to were Peggy's, and the memory of her was so fresh to him that he almost didn't want to. But they were around the same color, save for the tiny ring of gold around Katherine's pupil. Both women had their strength showcased in their eyes, but he thought Katherine's might have been filled with a little more pain, like she hadn't quite gotten control of the emotions of her past. If Peggy had ghosts, she had exceptional skills at not letting them show.

      "Captain Rogers, it's my job to help you."

      Didn't she understand that he didn't want to be a burden? Didn't just want to be an assignment she was given? She must have seen something on his face that gave her a clue into his emotions, for she sighed and softly hit her forehead with her palm.

      "That's not what I meant." Her brows furrowed, frustrated that she seemed as incapable of words as he. "I mean, I don't see myself as being stuck with you. Sure, it's my actual job to help you and I'll likely get fired if I refuse, but... it's my personal job to help you. I want to make you feel as comfortable as possible in the situation you were thrown into. I know what it's like to feel like a fish out of water. I felt the same way when I moved here from Sweden. It was an entirely different culture, everybody was wired differently. If I didn't help you, I would feel like bad person."

      "You? Bad?" Though he hadn't known her for long, he just couldn't sense that in her.

      "Everyone's got some bad in them, Captain. Even me. Even you."

      He let that statement hang over them for a moment. She had a lot of good statements, he realized. It was often that he found himself at a loss for words after one of her insightful ramblings. "Fish out of water," he finally said after a while, crossing his arms over his chest and sending her a small smile that verged on the side of a smirk. "Is that a reference to the fact that you're Swedish?"

      He was happy he could make her laugh. It made the guilt less prominent. "Funny, Captain Rogers. Don't poke too much fun. I might be useful if you ever find yourself in Sweden."

      "Is that so? Can you speak it?" he asked, fully expecting the answer to be no. Sure, she had lived there the first ten years of her life, but she was so ingrained in the U.S. now, surely she had lost it?

      Those big brown eyes narrowed in a challenge. "Inte sälja skinnet förrän björnen är skjuten, Kapten Rogers." He let out a loud laugh, possibly the loudest since he'd been out of the ice, and grinned at her.

      "And I imagine you just called me something that wouldn't be appropriate to say in church?"

      She shook her head. "I gave you a pretty common Swedish idiom. It translates to 'don't sell the skin before the bear is shot.' Which for you Americans would mean 'don't count your chickens until they hatch.'"

      "I failed German in high school."

      Katherine laughed. Steve was happy he could at least keep them entertained. He felt a little guilty that he was distracting her from the movie, but they could always start it from the beginning. Truthfully, he was just happy that she was there with him, keeping him from going insane in that safe house. It was nice to wake up and not be completely alone. When he was younger, he'd always had someone with him, whether it be his mother or Bucky or the Commandos. After waking up in a world where all of those candidates were dead, he was glad Katherine seemed to be in this for the next six months.

      After the movie finished and Captain Rogers had peppered Katherine with questions about how the logistics of the plot would work, Katherine turned on the record player once more and let ABBA's music flow through the room. Cap had mentioned that he liked the music she'd been playing as of late, and since most of that music consisted of ABBA, she figured she wouldn't fix something if it wasn't broken. She checked on all the sides one more, thinking that they'd probably be ready by lunch time to dig in. That was still about two or three hours away depending on when the Captain wanted to eat, but she checked the turkey and deemed it on its way to perfection.

      "I almost forgot to ask, is there anything you need? Clothes, toiletries, anything like that?" Katherine asked. He had moved to the barstool at the counter so he could see her and she tossed him an extra apple from that morning, knowing that with his enhanced strength and metabolism, he got hungrier faster than she did.

      "Not that I can think of. Why?"

      "Another invention of America's consumers. Black Friday." At the look on Cap's face, she laughed. She didn't imagine hearing Black Friday for the first time sounded like a pleasant event. "Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving and a whole bunch of stores have ridiculous sales. I could grab anything at basically half off if you need it. And then I was thinking we could maybe get you a decent computer that isn't filled with a whole bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D. files. We could get that on Cyber Monday, though."

      "Do I even want to know what Cyber Monday is?"

      "Same general idea as Black Friday but we can do online shopping."

      "Online shopping?" he asked. Katherine smiled at him, unable to keep from wanting to laugh at the incredulity in his eyes. "I don't want to know," he said, holding up his hand when Katherine opened her mouth to explain. "It'll just confuse me. I assume you know what you're doing and you can do... Cyber Monday for me."

      "We could get you an iPod too. For working out. It's the thing I wear sometimes with the headphones that go into my ears. It's like a portable record player."

      He actually smiled at that. "I wouldn't mind one of those. You'll just have to help me put songs on it."

      "Of course. You can add songs from the forties, as well. That way you can have a little of the old mixed with a little of the new."

      The two of them popped another movie in to pass the time until the turkey would be done. Then, after the movie was done, Katherine put on the recording of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that she had made sure to DVR the night before. She opened her mouth to explain what it was that they were watching, but Captain Rogers was staring at the television like he knew exactly what was happening.

      "Is this the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?" he asked. At Katherine's surprised look, he laughed. "The first ever one was in 1924. Believe it or not, I knew about it. I was six when the first one happened."

      "How incredible. What was it like?"

      Captain Rogers smiled. "Bucky and I went. We had only been friends for about six months at that time. He had three sisters and looked out for me like I was the brother he ever had. We had gotten up early that morning. Bucky was tired and cranky, but I was excited. My mother hardly ever took me out for things like that because of all my health issues. Bucky and I snuck up to a building and watched it from above the crowd. Our mothers went crazy when they couldn't find us, but it was incredible."

      "Bucky sounds like he was a great guy," Katherine supplied.

      "Bucky was definitely my Sophia," Captain Rogers agreed. "When my mom passed, I started going over there for Thanksgiving. I always got embarrassed because his parents and sisters fussed over me. Rebecca, the second sibling, she always pestered me about getting a date. 'Anyone would be lucky to date such a sweet guy, Steve' she'd say." He smiled softly, enveloped in memories. "Most girls didn't want to date a guy they'd inevitably step on."

      Katherine just grinned.

      "Rebecca was the only one that went to the parade with us. She was just two at the time. Mary, Bucky's third sister, had just been born and George, Bucky's father, stayed home with her. That never happened again. Mary ended up throwing all of her baby food on the wall." He laughed at the memory of a red-faced Winnifred Barnes, scolding her husband for not knowing what to do with a baby."

      "What was his third sisters name?"

      "Lillian. I always liked her best. She was a lot like me, quiet and shy. She was about nine years younger than me and was like my little sister."

      "Do you know what happened to them?"

      "Rebecca got married before I went off to the war. Some guy named Robert Proctor. Mary was going to school to become a nurse and was going steady with some guy named William. Little Lillian was sixteen. Never really did grow out of that shy phase."

      "We could check and see if they're still alive. If Rebecca was born in 1922, that would mean she'd be eighty-nine. When we get you a decent laptop, we can research."

      He shrugged. "I wouldn't want to mess up their lives. For all I know, they blame me for what happened to Bucky."

      She could sense some guilt there, realized that he blamed himself. "It wasn't your fault, what happened to him. He signed up for the war, Captain. He knew what he was doing."

      "He never signed up." The final tone in his voice, like he would not argue on this matter, had Katherine's reply faltering. "He never told me straight out because he knew how much I would have given to fight, but he was drafted. He never wanted the war. And he had to pay for it."

      "I'm sure there's no one else he would have rather died for."

      "Yeah, well, I didn't want him to die for me."

      The short, clipped tone from that morning was back. Katherine hated that she'd somehow put it there. "Doesn't matter. Don't cheapen his choice. If it was down to Sophia and me, I'd fling myself on burning hot coals if it meant she'd be okay. I'm sure Bucky felt the same way, and died knowing he'd helped save you. Don't let that sacrifice be in vain. Don't weaken his decision to save you. He thought you were worth it."

      The sentiment had Steve looking at her, his eyes filled with an emotion Katherine didn't know how to decipher. "Thanks, Agent Baker."

      "You don't have to thank me, Cap." She looked at the clock hanging on the other side of the room and smiled. "Except you can totally thank me for lunch, because it's ready."

      Happy the conversation had taken a turn from the depressive state he'd made, they walked to the kitchen to serve themselves. The turkey looked perfect, and smelled better than anything Steve had eaten in the last two months of being out of the ice. They chatted while they dished out heaping portions of mashed potatoes and gravy, Steve's plate being at least three times the size of Katherine. Another thing he had noticed, he supposed. She ate enough to sustain life, but never had seconds of anything. He wasn't too worried, since she was still a healthy weight, but he always felt self-conscious eating his many helpings around her. She didn't seem to mind.

      "After lunch, we can search some laptops and iPods if you want. You can pick different colors."

      Steve had no idea what she was talking about, so he just nodded.

      The meal was the best he'd had in a while. Even past waking up from the ice. He was used to the rations the Howling Commandos had gobbled down, with Dum Dum trying to steal a little bit of everyone's meal. As they were cleaning up dishes, Katherine looked at him with the same look she had before she asked if he'd want to get out of the safe house. Like she was nervous.

      "Will you tell me about the Commandos?"

      He wanted to appease her, he really did. But even talking about Bucky's family had drained him. He didn't want to ruin their nice Thanksgiving with ghosts from the past. Which was why he told her as such.

      "I don't want to ruin our Thanksgiving talking about things from the past. Maybe some other time," he said, making sure to smooth the tone of his voice so she wouldn't be offended.

      "Of course. It was insensitive of me to even ask."

      "Not insensitive. You're just curious. I don't blame you for it." He was the same way. He wanted to know all about her family and more about her life in Sweden. But it wasn't the time. The small smile he gave her seemed to smooth over the rest of her nerves.

      She dried the last plate and turned to face him. "Alright, time to go pick out an iPod." Grabbing her laptop from her room, she came back out and sat on one of the barstools. "We can get a Nano, a Shuffle, or an iPod Touch. The touch would probably be the easiest to work with, but if you want a fancy color, then I say the Nano."

      "I have no idea what any of that means."

      "I know," she grinned, laughing a little at his offended expression. "I'll show you the different makes of each of them."

      The Nano was skinnier than the other two, but longer than the tiny little box she called a Shuffle. The Shuffle was immediately ruled out simply because his thumbs were too big and would be clumsy pushing the buttons. He liked the color aspect of the Nano, but the iPod touch was the easiest to manipulate, Katherine mentioned. She let him mess around with her own iPod touch to get used to it, and he decided that was the one he wanted.

      "So how does Cyber Monday work?"

      "I just put it in my cart and then early Monday morning I can check out."

      "You don't have to go to the store?"

     "Nope. It'll ship to the house." The disbelief on his face made her laugh again. "I'll most likely have Lionel pick it up. He'll be back Sunday afternoon."

      The two finished watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and both told stories about their past that wouldn't make them uncomfortable. Katherine already felt guilty enough about earlier, and he felt guilty about making her feel bad. It was a surprise when Sophia called, her little icon popping up on Katherine's phone.

      "I'm not going to wish you a happy Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving sucks, but happy Thursday." Sophia said the moment Katherine answered. "My mother wanted to say hello to you and Capsicle."

      "Sophia," Katherine scolded, but Captain Rogers just let out a small chuckle.

      "Mamá," Sophia called out, "Kate está en el teléfono!"

      "Mija! Sophia told me she would call you so I could check in. Did you make Thanksgiving dinner?" Wendy asked from the other line. 

      "Thanksgiving lunch," Katherine corrected

      "How's Captain Rogers?" she asked.

      When Captain Rogers looked a little worried that Wendy knew Katherine was with him, she shrugged it off. "Wendy used to be an active S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. She's retired now, but most of them know you've woken up from the ice."

      "I'm great, Mrs. Benjamin," he said in a ridiculously loud voice, as if Wendy wouldn't hear him through the phone. Wendy just laughed at the volume, ignoring Sophia poking fun of Captain Rogers in the background. "I hope you have a wonderful time with your family."

      "Next year when Fury is less grumpy, you'll be here for Thanksgiving. My Katie is a great cook, but I'm better."

      Katherine shrugged. "No arguments from me."

      "You're good? Everything is okay there? Sophia complains when you're gone."

      "Sophia complains all the time."

      "Hey!" Sophia called from the back of the shot of the Benjamin's kitchen.

      "We'll let you go," Wendy said. "I'll see you soon, Katie. We love you."

      "I love you guys too." Katherine hung up the phone. "Sorry if they made you uncomfortable. They're just trying to be nice."

      "They didn't. It was nice to see you interacting with them. Makes me realize what you'd be like when you aren't forced in a boring safe house watching a... Capsicle." He playfully scoffed at the term, seemingly not offended by Sophia's coined nickname.

      "Encino Man is another one of her favorites," Katherine mentioned. At his confused look, she elaborated. "It's a movie. We'll have to watch it soon."

      "Just add it to the list."

      They spent the rest of the day vegging out and eating leftovers whenever their stomachs got low, which for super soldier Captain America, was often. By eight, Katherine was ready to curl up in her bed and sleep. However, when she bid Captain Rogers  a goodnight and made her way to her room, sleep evaded her. She spent what must have been at least two hours staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of the wind blowing outside.

      She missed her family. Talking to Sophia's parents always helped dull that ache, but she assumed it would always be there. Just like Captain Rogers would always feel the absence of Bucky and the Howling Commandos, Katherine would always feel the absence of her little brother and parents. And it was this comparison that had her feeling guilty again for asking him to talk about the Commandos. If the situations were reversed, if it were him asking her to dive into her past, could she? She didn't think so.

      Pulling her laptop onto her knees, she opened it up and let the soft light wash over her face, blinking against the sudden brightness. She pulled up a word document, typing down a couple of things she wanted to make sure to introduce Captain Rogers to. Encino Man, of course, but other things as well. As she was halfway down a decent list, however, she got an idea.

      She went back to online shopping, finding a basic black notebook and put it in her cart to buy Monday morning. Then, another divine idea struck and she searched up some nice sketchbooks and colored pencils, adding them in with the iPod and notebook.

      Lastly, she opened up her email and typed a quick letter.

      Fury, give me all you have on Howling Commandos. And all you've got on the Barnes siblings.

✪✪✪✪✪✪

Amazing gif credit to Joey!