a/n

we're finally getting somewhere folks ;)

i have a feeling this story's gonna be pretty long bc i have a lot of ideas that i'm rlly excited to write about!

also i rlly love seeing your thoughts and reactions they make me rlly happy :,)

anyways, i hope you're all enjoying this so far and if you have any feedback i'd love to hear it! thank you and i love you all ❤️

~•~•~•~

"what?" crutchie breathed, his eyebrows rising in shock.

jack had told him about the visit he had from spot conlon. he wasn't sure how crutchie was going to react, whether he was willing to join or not. the younger boy seemed to be at a loss for words, his mind racing as he pondered over the information.

"and you said you'd join?" crutchie asked.

jack nodded. "he made some good points. but you ain't gotta join if you don't want to."

"no, i-" crutchie broke off, lowering himself onto the threadbare couch. "i wanna. but i ain't sure i'd be o' much use."

"what you mean by that?" jack pressed, although he already knew the answer. "all you need is your voice, crutch. that's it."

crutchie went silent, and jack went to sit beside him. the silence dragged on for several moments, pressing in on them. neither knew what to say, up until the moment crutchie spoke up with the thought that had been bothering him. "what d'ya think's gonna happen, jack? them looking glasses seem pretty serious 'bout this whole thing."

"i don't know what's gonna happen," jack answered. "but i guess i'm hopin' for change."

~•~•~•~

"i can't believe this," lucille was ranting to katherine, her face flushed as she expressed her thoughts. "how could they have already arranged a marriage for me? i'm only twenty!"

lucille was pacing the length of katherine's bedroom, needing someone to talk to after receiving the life changing news. katherine was lying on her bed, propping herself up on her elbows to watch her older sister.

"i know it's inevitable," lucille continued, stopping her pacing to look over at katherine, "and i know this was going to happen eventually, but i just wish it wasn't this early, you know?"

katherine peered at her sister, trying to find the right words to say. "why don't you just talk to them?"

"you know how father is," lucille responded, running a hand through her hair frustratedly. "he refuses to change his mind once he sets it on something. besides, he gets the say in everything." she heaved a heavy sigh, flopping onto the bed beside katherine.

for a moment, the topic caused katherine's mind to wander. she found herself thinking back to that day outside of jacobi's deli. she remembered the strange feeling in her gut, and at the thought, the feeling returned, stabbing her like a thousand prodding knives. what is this?

she considered telling lucille about that strange feeling, but she held herself back. she trusted lucille, but who knew how she would react? besides, katherine herself wasn't even sure what the feeling was. she assumed it was probably nothing, or maybe it was just her hoping it was nothing.

"it's worth a try," katherine told her, coming back to the present. "maybe he'll listen."

lucille scoffed softly, "i doubt it." then, she paused, her face becoming somewhat hopeful. "but maybe mother will listen..."

the older girl sat up, fiddling with the fabric of her skirt thoughtfully. a silent moment passed, and then lucille turned to katherine, her expression serious. "i know everyone thinks i'm the more susceptible sibling, and maybe they're right. but... have you ever actually thought about it?"

"thought about what?" katherine pressed, puzzled by her sister's words.

"what it feels like," lucille continued. "y'know, to feel love..." the older girl sighed softly. "i just wanna know why it's considered so dangerous."

"you better hope you don't experience it yourself," katherine warned her. "father wouldn't stand for it."

lucille bit down on her lip before looking back over at her, the curiosity in her eyes never wavering. "so... have you ever thought about it?"

katherine exhaled softly, bringing her knees up to her chest. "sometimes." she paused. "with all that's going on with the looking glasses right now, i can't help but wonder why they're fighting. surely they must be feeling something that, to them, feels... right?"

lucille hummed thoughtfully in response. "maybe..." she then chuckled softly and elbowed katherine lightheartedly. "mother and father would kill us if they heard us talking about this."

"i can't even begin to imagine how they'd respond," katherine responded, a slight grin on her face.

"they'd probably make us get the lmd immediately," lucille said. then, she stood up, smoothing out her outfit. "anyways, i should probably go get some work done and try to gather the courage to talk to mother. see you, kath."

"see you, lucy," katherine said, watching as lucille left the room.

once the door closed behind lucille, katherine was left alone with her thoughts. the more time that passed with just her and her mind, the more she began to fear those thoughts.

she reflected on the words she had shared with lucille, and found herself reliving the moment outside of jacobi's deli.

why couldn't she stop thinking about that moment? and more importantly, why couldn't she stop thinking about him? why did meeting his eyes make her feel that way?

~•~•~•~

katherine was sitting at a table in the courtyard of the university, relishing the fresh air as she read a book for her sociology class. the campus was quiet, many students on edge because of the looking glasses' increased presence. katherine, however, wasn't too bothered.

she couldn't seem to focus on the book, resting her cheek in her hand as she tried to read. her mind kept wandering, however, and soon a new distraction caught her eye.

davey was walking through the courtyard, and approaching him from the opposite direction was jack. the two seemed to chat for a few minutes, before davey took a sweep of the courtyard, finding katherine sitting at a nearby table with a book. he nudged jack, the two exchanging a few words before starting in her direction.

katherine looked up from her as the two boys approached, offering them a friendly smile in greeting. "hey, kath," davey greeted. "reading for sociology?"

"yeah," katherine responded, marking her spot before closing the book. "i had a bit of a break before my next class, so i figured i'd get some work done."

"is it a good read?"

katherine shook her head, "it's a bore."

"great," davey remarked sarcastically, chuckling lightly beneath his breath. "guess i'm in for a fun evening."

"i feel you there," katherine said with a soft sigh.

"anyways, i gotta head to my next class. see the two of you later," davey said to her and jack, reminding katherine that jack was still standing off to the side.

"see ya, dave," jack said, and katherine gave a soft 'bye' as well.

that left just the two of them, turning back to each other awkwardly. neither of them knew what to say, up until the moment jack cleared his throat. "is it okay if i—uh—join ya?"

"go ahead," katherine told him, slipping the book into her bag. there was no point in trying to read anymore. "so what brings you here?" she asked, remembering that he wasn't a student at the university.

"davey left somethin' for one o' his classes at my place," jack explained. "figured i'd come to drop it off 'case he needed it."

"that's nice," katherine said, smiling softly at him. "so you have a place of your own?"

"yeah," he answered, pulling the lip of his cap down slightly in an attempt to do something with his hands. "i live with a couple o' my pals."

katherine hummed in acknowledgment. "so... if you aren't a student, what do you do?"

jack chuckled softly, leaning forward on his arms that were resting on the table. "lots o' stuff. just a few projects here and there."

"sounds like you got your life together," katherine told him, a playful grin dancing on her face.

jack scoffed. "pfft. hardly. i'm just hangin' on for the ride." he looked over at her, their eyes meeting for just a second when they both felt that same feeling they did outside of jacobi's. they both lingered there for just a moment, both of them aware that the other felt it too.

katherine had to force herself to look away, feeling a tugging sensation inside of her chest that seemed to drag her emotions in every direction. she checked the time before clearing her throat to break the silence, grabbing her bag. "i—uh—have class here in a few minutes. i should probably get going."

"let me walk you," jack offered, and katherine hesitated. she feared this feeling, terrified that it was a sign something in her mind was going wrong. she was scared that her emotions were growing out of control and everything would backfire on her. however, deep down she knew she wanted to say yes, and her mind couldn't stop her gut.

"really?" she asked shyly, grinning at him. "that'd be nice."

jack felt a wave of relief. he rose from his seat and was soon followed by her. the two walked side by side, with katherine leading the way to the location of her next class. there wasn't much of an exchange between the two of them, a comfortable silence having settled. however, neither of them could keep the other off their mind.

"have you heard the news of how the looking glasses are making even more of an appearance?" katherine asked as they walked, causing jack to tense up slightly and murmur a reluctant 'yes.' she continued, "i think it's all... interesting. worrisome, yes, but interesting nonetheless."

"yeah," jack breathed, careful not to say too much, "i guess so."

"i wonder how big their movement will get," she hummed thoughtfully. "i'm a little nervous and anxious to see how far it'll go, though."

jack should have expected that to be her response; after all, he was sure that she was taught that fervoria and all those who believed love was good were wrong. moreover, the vaccination probably played a role in her beliefs, building a mental barrier in her mind. still, her words stabbed him in a sensation similar to that of a dull blade.

katherine sighed. "i don't know." the two fell back into silence, with the mood falling somewhere between awkward and comfortable. they remained silent until katherine stopped in front of the door to her classroom. "well, this is it."

"alright," jack said, nodding once and looking over at her when an idea came to his mind. he dug in his pockets, pulling out a piece of scrap paper he had used to sketch on. he quickly wrote down a note on the paper, then held it out for her to take. "here. have this."

"what's this?" katherine asked, taking it tentatively.

"just in case you wanna talk more," he told her, before taking a step back. "anyways, you should go on. i'll see ya around."

katherine nodded, giving him a slight smile, "see you, jack."

jack turned on his heel, starting back the way they came as katherine looked down at the paper he had given here. her eyes first fell upon the sketch of a mountainous desert region. then, she noticed the true message. there, in the top right corner of the page, was his number. her smile deepened, and she looked up to find him looking over his shoulder at her. she shook her head amusedly and pocketed the paper before turning away to open the door to the classroom and step inside.

jack watched her vanish into the room before starting back down the hallway. he felt somewhat victorious, but he could only hope that he had managed to make even the smallest dent in the barrier that the vaccination had created in her mind.