I didn't take a glimpse of my apartment to check on her as I hurriedly embarked inside my Audi and revved the engine to life. My grip on the steering wheel tightened as I perpetually take deep breaths on my way to work.

The people holding each other's hands on the sidewalk aggravate me. The cars passing by me and overcoming had definitely incensed me — no doubt. Almost everything that I see irks me. And it seemed like Jade must be the reason why my day had become one of the worst days of my life.

I started to reconsider meeting up with Jade once again, and soon wondered what would happen if I didn't meet up with her from the get-go.

Would everything be the same? Would I be living serenely?

In my head I had attempted to conjure up so many hypothetical scenarios wherein this time Jade was out of the picture. I attempted to envisage myself, the Perrie Edwards without Jade Thirlwall. I tried to imagine a world wherein Perrie Edwards is living a gorgeous life, with a gorgeous occupation in a gorgeous mansion.

I really tried.

But the thing is I couldn't.

Jade Thirlwall was a secretive woman. She was never fond of confiding in me and informing me of her whereabouts and I'll admit that sometimes I was horrified of the fact that maybe she was indeed harboring dreadful secrets from me. I couldn't count in one hand how many times I had found myself teetering on the edge between wanting to let go or just hold on, because Jade just had to be like that towards me. She just had to be distant and stubborn. She just had to make me feel marginalized and insignificant.

But even after the tribulation that Jade had driven me into, I couldn't even find the strength to let go of every good thing that she had done for me like cook me breakfast or kissing me as she bid her goodbyes. And I detest that fact. Because Jade Thirlwall is that type of woman whom I shouldn't desire, the type of woman whom I shouldn't offer myself to. But Jade Thirlwall has that inexplicably alluring attribute that ensares me. And all the efforts that I had exerted to protect myself from her had been futile.

As soon as I arrived to my work building, I made sure all the dreadful thoughts about my ex lover had burned to ashes before I enter. My thoughts of Jade Thirlwall may be potent but I am not giving them the privilege to continuously destroy my day. And I made certain of that once I stepped foot inside my designated office.

I mindlessly smiled as I spotted Ashley, my red-headed assistant, barging in my office from the reflection of my office window. I watched as she plopped herself down the leather seat and crossed her legs on top of my work desk.

"Uh oh, Perrie-winkle seemed like she woke up from the wrong bed," Ashley raised an eyebrow at me.

I rolled my eyes at Ashley's tease and swivelled my chair to face her. "More like I opened the wrong door."

Ashley stared at me skeptically, and I raised my eyebrows for her until she gasped at the epiphany. She covered up her mouth that was agape with her right hand, pointing her finger towards me with the other. I felt like I wanted to giggle just by her reaction. And a laugh had escaped my lips as she squealed, "Jade Thirlwall was at your door!?"

I nodded, still laughing hysterically. "Apparently. She even bought me a bouquet of roses."

"Did you accept it?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I wanted to . . . but then Jade would think I gave her a chance so I kinda left her."

"Kinda left her? Or did you leave her?"

"My mistake. I did leave her."

My assistant furrowed her eyebrows, a smirk slowly making its way up. I didn't have to think twice before saying that her subsequent words would deliberately tease me. And then she inquired somewhat suggestively, "Are you playing hard-to-get, Miss Edwards?"

I nodded pompously. "Yes, actually. I just wanted to make sure that that narcisstic skirt knows where she stands."

"Damn," Ashley muttered, whistling lowly thereafter. She leisurely crossed her slim arms in front of her chest as she heaves a sigh. She looked like she wanted to say something, though she remained irresponsive.

"You wanna tell me something, red head?" I asked her curiously.

Her smile had widened at the nickname and soon my expression imitated hers. She shook her head childishly and answered, "Nope."

Although her innocent veneer had in a way deluded me, I knew the woman had something else in her mind that I couldn't decode. But I knew better than push more buttons and accusations.

The rest of the day passed by incredibly slow if I were to opine about it, but I wasn't complaining no more now that I have a feeling Jade had learned her lesson and yielded my desire for her to back off. I didn't receive a call from her, nor a voicemail and a mere message, but for some reason there was a part of me that pines over it. And I was so scared that I may never give over.

"I see that you're in a good mood today . . . ," Jesy greeted me as I walked inside the kitchen. She seemed to be wearing casual attire so I assume she's going somewhere beyond my knowledge as I plopped myself down on the stool, swinging my purse on top of the island countertop. Jesy watched me with furrowed eyebrows at my nonchalant disposition. She asked, "Why the hell are you so indifferent now?"

"Nothing actually," I answered before lifting myself up the stool and onto the refrigerator to grab the pitcher of water. On my way to the kitchen cabinet to get a glass for myself, I suddenly remembered that Jesy texted me to talk on my way home. I spoke loudly for her to hear, "What is it you wanna talk to me about?"

"Glad you remembered. Jade visited again awhile ago," Jesy informed me. My body visibly tensed as the mention of my ex lover's name abstracted me from my doing but I immediately recovered and went back on the stool in front of her.

"Mhmm," I said, finding myself immensely parched as I gulped down in one drink my water. "W-what did she want this time?"

"Well, I'm more than certain you already know" was all she replied to me, and I of course agreed with her. And then for a moment her eyebrows furrowed in bafflement as she leaned her chin upon her knuckles. "Actually, she just left just a few minutes ago before you arrived. I'm surprised you guys didn't cross paths. It's quite improbable — unless she's been . . . I don't know . . . avoiding you and taking a different route?"

"That's good to know." I nodded, feeling somewhat relieved.

Jesy nodded in return and resumed her doing. The cessation of our conversation seemed to last a long minute, enough for me to think it was time for her to go. But the knowing smirk splashing across Jesy's face made me account this conversation still ongoing.

"I heard you'll be taking your boss' daughter on a date. I am actually bowled over to know that it was Mich. I mean she did tell me her father's an owner of an enterprise . . . I didn't know it was actually your boss. What a small world, don't you think?" Jesy wiggled her eyebrows as she swigged from her brewed coffee, a flirty wink at my way as I rolled my eyes in response.

"I'm not taking her on a date, Jes," I chuckled, shaking my head. Jesy raised her disbelieving eyebrow and I shrugged. "I'm just solely looking out for her."

"Looking out for her," Jesy reiterated, a toothy smirk spreading across her features. She nodded and took a swig from her beverage once again. "Nice. I like the term. Perhaps it alludes to sex?"

"Jessica!" I laughed and covered my mouth in giggles. "I swear to God it's not like that at all!"

"Are you sure?" Jesy asks. "Because I honestly think this means what I think it means."

"Which is absolutely wrong!" I playfully reprimanded her. I waved my hand dismissively at her as I shook my head. "Michelle is my boss' daughter, alright? Nothing more and nothing less in spite of our date. Phil just wanted me to watch out for her because he thinks she'll do some things that could ruin their reputation considering Michelle is and I quote 'reckless'."

"Reckless?"

"Yes," I confirmed.

Jesy stared at her drink longingly and then she looked up at me. "Reckless in bed or . . . ?"

"Jessica Nelson!"

Jesy and I fell into peals of laughter. And I then realized that I have never laughed like this before ever since Jade waltzed back in my life the other week. Because usually Jade was — aside from Jesy, of course — the one who could genuinely induce the laughter to fill both of us up. And now that she's the sole reason of my melancholy, it was the first time I truly basked in my best friend's presence. And I felt tremendously grateful to have Jesy by my side, because she's the only person who could bring out the best in me other than the Jade I fell in love with a few years ago. And I don't deem that remotely ironic at all.

"Alright, then," Jesy started, holding her now empty cup and depositing it down the sink to wash later before grabbing her bulky purse. She made an 'i'm warning you' gesture at me. "Stay away from the temptress — you savvy?"

I smiled and nodded in response as she treaded towards the door, hearing a vague "Don't do drugs!" as the brunette slammed the door shut as if in a hurry.

And now I was left all alone, sitting down on my stool and leaning both of my cheeks on my palms. I still haven't changed into my comfortable clothes yet, but I feel like I couldn't even budge right now. But a few minutes of doing nothing had effectuated a text message and I rummaged through my purse as I search for my phone.

Michelle: Hi. It's me, Michelle? Yeah. My dad told me about the whole "babysitting" situation and I just really wanted to apologize for his overprotectiveness.

I subconciously smiled at her embarassment, almost feeling empathetic towards her because my father was the same as well.

I replied quickly,

Me: Haha! It's okay, actually. I don't mind at all. No apologies necessary for this. All parents are overprotective. I mean, even my own father's like that as well. And I totally understand the feeling of coveting for that 'privacy'.

And a few seconds later, there was a response from her and I excitedly opened it.

Michelle: Aww. I bet your father is cute when becoming protective over you. My father's a straight-up beast when he's like that.

Me: Trust me when I say that he's not even remotely cute at all when he's overprotective.

Michelle: I genuinely think he is.

Me: You're talking to his only cute daughter.

Michelle: Yeah, and so?

Me: It's creepy.

Michelle: Haha! But seriously though, it's really mortifying to have an overprotective father.

A smirk skulked its way up onto my face. I suddenly remembered that vague memory where my dad used to sermonize my friends about being bad influences towards me and my ignorant 2-year-old self of course, as I stand from the door's treshold, watching my friends and my father who are apparently on the backyard, had stupidly thought he was thanking them for being there for me.

Me: You don't say.

She didn't respond for a few minutes after this, and I took this as a cue to change into my night clothes now. I dredged up my cabinet to locate my pair of joggers and shirt when my phone vibrated on the bedside table.

Michelle: I know you just wanted to look out for me in behalf of my father and I would never forget the words you told me before. I'm confident that this message would make you account me audacious, but I was thinking

I furrowed my eyebrows as the message was cut short. And before I went to send a "what are you thinking?", she replied immediately.

Michelle: Would you like to hang out tomorrow?

I'll admit I kinda overanalyzed the question, considering I literally apprised the woman of the fact that I may not be ready for another relationship especially in my current situation wherein an ex had emerged from the past. But I quickly allowed my mind to meander towards my date with Michelle. I then figured that maybe Michelle could abstract me from the turbulence. Who knows?

And so I confidently replied the best I could,

Me: You wanna hang out tomorrow but not now in my apartment while I'm already free? Am I the only one eager to meet with you again? :)

My face had contorted as I cringed while poring over my message that was already rendered to the recipient.

Perrie, your flirting skills are definitely execrable.

Michelle: Going straight now, huh? ;) Alright then. Don't bother reminding me of your address because I already had it etched in my brain. See you soon!

And I didn't respond to her this time, knowing I would have to clean up the whole apartment and make it look at least a trifle decent to look at from an outsider's perspective.

It was a few of moments of watching Pitch Perfect in the television set with popcorn smothering my hands when a knock on the door had been heard. I quickly scrambled to find my slippers and hurried towards the door to open it.

"Hey, Miche —" I stopped myself and instinctively took a step back from the treshold of the apartment door as I took her in. My thoughts about me and Michelle having a fun night were vanished in a snap of a finger as my eyes peered over her appearance.

"Jade," I whispered. My gaze never left hers, even if I was bidding to avert it. "Jade, w-why —"

"— am I here?" She finished for me, and all I had to was nod in response. Her gaze fell on the floor, seemed like she didn't even have a response for this one yet as if what she did was arbitrary. I did nothing but observed her movements, and marvelled at the fact that Jade Thirlwall was in fact in front of me and actually nervous from the way she squirms under my stare. She sighed anxiously and met my gaze. "I, uhm, I know you told me to just back off but I . . . Perrie, for fuck's sake, I just couldn't."

I was dumbfounded at this, and Jade seemed to my irresponsiveness an indication to continue as she hesitantly stepped forward. "Perrie, I miss you so much."

I stayed quiet and still, silently urging her to continue for some unknown reason.

"I know it's been years since we've talked, despite our awkward social interaction two weeks ago, which I have to apologize for considering it took you by surprise," she spoke softly, taking another step closer to me. I closed my eyes in unbidden anticipation as I feel her mint breath against my face. Once I opened my eyes, her gaze never left me and she continued, "It's just the feeling of wanting you back again that made me impulsive. And Perrie believe me when I say that it frightened me as well because I've never pined over someone so badly before — not even with my other lovers! You have to believe me when I say that before I contacted you, an explanation was already at the tip of my tongue. Pez, I was so ready to spill out everything there is to know about me. But then, I don't know, it just ran away."

"Frightened you?" I asked incredulously as I flail my hands and shoved her harshly. "Our relationship frightened you? Then why the hell did you prolong it if it freaked you out so badly? Are those the precise words you say to your other women when they question your absence? Is this another trick to delude me?"

"What?" Jade shook her head in shock. "No! Perrie, I —"

I didn't know what had possessed me as I striked my hand towards her cheek with the sound of a slap echoing throughout the narrowed hallway. Jade's head remained still as she breathed a heavy sigh before slowly turning her head to look at me. Her face remained unreadable and I was suddenly afraid of what she'll say or do to me. And then her eyes hooded themselves, a tear slowly slid down her cheek as hurt became evident in her visage.

"Okay," she sighed. "I deserved that."

I scoffed. "You deserved more."

I suddenly felt her delicate fingers grab my neck as she yanks me closer to her. I stumbled forward and her lips hovered itself over my own. My hands reflexively cupped both of her shoulders and slightly pushed her, hearing a groan vibrate throughout her body at the movement of our lips which are dancing aggressively.

I could practically taste every ounce of emotion that we had poured on that kiss as if it was some random concoction that had thoroughly gained power over the both of us. I was hesitant to kiss her at first, but hell her lips tasted so delicious right now — I just can't stop.

My hands were balling its fists on her silky flowy dress, automatically lifted it slightly and exposing some of her shiny petite skin on her legs as I hear yet another groan emit from her lips and I swallow the sound. Jade slowly propelled us inside the apartment as I let go of her dress and allowed my hands to travel all the way, letting them grab the opportunity to get lost in her ombre hair. As we stepped foot, she did not hesitate to slam the door shut. She then proceeded to spin us around as she gently walked me back against the door.

Jade has absolutely no idea how reeled my mind must have been and how invigorating this heated session has been for me. The way her delicate fingers caress my skin under my shirt is more than enough to drive me insane and escort me towards the edge of glory. The way her lips encased mine in the most romantic way possible and how arduous it was for me to let go. For a moment I wondered if it was the same for her.

"I miss your kisses," she whispered as she pulled away and latches her lips onto the nape of my neck. A breath of pleasure escaped from my lips in anticipation. Her hands found my own that are apparently ruffling her hair in arousal and wantonness, and I moaned as I felt her finger entwined themselves with my own as she slowly lifts our fastened hands on top of my head against the door with a thud.

"Jade . . . ," I whispered in impatience.

Jade had somehow figured what I had impatiently waited for and her teeth nibbled on my ear as I closed my eyes in desire. I could feel her breath almost percolate into my skin as she hums softly, "I can't let you go. Not now, not ever. Push me away if you desire, tear my body apart, put a bullet through my head — I don't care. Because there is absolutely no way my love for you will fade just like how my love for my mistresses did."

And that's when we heard Michelle's voice on the other side of the door partnered with a knock on it. "Perrie, I'm here."