Order ST Universe.

1) ST. Ends after big showdown between D and ED and the after effects.

2) after ST. Ends right before BUTRH, includes jason's death and tim's training t be next robin, but more on the tech side than actual fighting (if Jason gets benched, tim goes out as robin, Jason hates it)

3) BUTRH. With Tim included. KF and A quit because of J's death. Ends before YJ season 2. Continues with what happens during 5 year time gap between seasons. RH NW P are members of Team. RH knows bout 'betrayal'.

4) YJ season 2. Includes RH as part time member. Nobody‚ except for bats‚ know who he was/ is. Team and League members hate NW and P for lying to them. Both along with RH quit Team after KF's death.

5) Son of Batman. Time skip 6 months. NW against Dami becoming next R‚ P for. T is RR‚ but Team doesn't know. Team still hates NW and P.

-

Code Sequence

B01 Robin/Nightwing Dick

B02 Phoenix/Phantom Danni

B03 KF/ Velocity Wally

B04 Speedy/ Red Arrow Roy

B05 Aqualad Kal

B06 Superboy Conner

B07 Miss M M'gann

B08 Artemis/ Tigress Artemis

B09 (first new P then)Zatanna

B10 (first Z then) Rocket

B11 (before new P code) Rocket

-

Phoenix's ''old'' code (B02 while Rob is B01 Wally B03 and so on) without anybody knowing why it's there or who it is and not able to hack it. And when Danni becomes a hero again having her get a new code (she forgot about it even existing and her DNA is different now so it won't work anyways) and only after a mega fight and everybody remembers again does she change the code and solves the 'mystery' about the missing B02

-

W: Ehhh... who are you?

P: I'm Phoenix.

W: But who are you really?

P: Phoenix.

W: *deadpan* Really?

P: *sarcastic* No. My name is Felix Fire. Nice ta meet'cha!

-

*on an undercover mission (P dyed her hair blond and is annoyed af)*

W: *stupid grin on his face* Hey Phoenix. Why are Blond jokes so short?

P: *sass* So men can remember them.

W: * o_o * well that took a wrong turn.

P: Ya should have asked for direction then.

R: Buuuuuurn!

*P&Ar high five*

-

Di: I've missed you so much! *hugs Danni*

Da: *hugs back* Me too.

Di: *chocking noise*

Da: *gasps, pulls back too look at him*

Di: *bleeding from Poltergeist themed knife in his heart*

Da: Aw, Diiiiick! You got my favorite knife dirty! *pulls it out of him* And my clothes! Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of this jacket?!

Di: *falls on ground*

Da: *crouches next to him* Hmmm, you seem a little pale there, DickieBird. *pats his cheek* Oh, and a little cold too.

Di: *gurgles up blood, drips from mouth*

Da: What? What did you say, Dickie? I didn't quite get that.

Di: *betrayed/sad look* *gurgles a bit more, goes limp staring at Da*

Da: Hmmm, mustn't have been important enough... Now where was I? Oh yeah! You were cold! Hold on, I know something that'll heat thing up! *pulls out lighter, throws it on Di* There! Nice and toasty! *maniac laugh as she floats up looking at entire Wayne Manor burn to the ground*

Da: *wakes up screaming*

Di&B: *run into her room* DANNI!

Di: *runs over to hug crying Da*

B: *looks at room, doesn't find any threats, and sits on bed pulling twins into his arms*

Da: *calms down/cried herself back to sleep*

Di: *refusing to let go of Da*

B: *smiles fondly, picks up both and carries them back to his bed, goes to sleep with Da on left side, Di on right side with both of them linking arms over B's chest*

A: *takes pic*

-

Creation of Danni's intro

R: Oh would you just shut up?! *everything goes quiet and stares cuz Rob hasn't said a word since the beginning of group session* This whole day you've done nothing but compete with us! And tell you what‚ I'm sick of it! Stop trying to prove you're better than the rest of us! Stop trying to act as though there's nothing wrong with you! Stop acting like a little kid and act your damn age for once!

W: Like you're one to talk mr-13-year-old-mini-Batman! You bottle up everything! You changed because of it! Well news flash Rob! You aren't okay either! You are probably the most traumatized of us all! You lead us to our deaths! You knew we were gonna die and yet you still went on with the mission like the heartless Bat you are! *gasps all around* *W gasps too and looks guilty and sorry. Tries to apologize but is cut off by R*

R: *ignores the gasp‚ looks and heartless Bat comment* That has nothing to do with this! This is about you being and acting like a little kid who tries everything to prove that he's better than the rest of us! So stop being suck a little prick and act your age!

W: Are you gonna act yours!?

R: This isn't about me!

W: Fine! You want me to act my age‚ fine! I'll stop 'making a challenge out of everything' if you play along with one last one. *mischievous grin*

R: *moment of silence/thinking* Urg. Why does he have to be such an ass? But knowing Wally‚ something always goes wrong. In either the planning or the acting out of the challenge. Especially when I'm competing in it... Let's just see where this goes. *nod*

W: You‚ me‚ sing-off. *crosses his arms with challenging smirk*

R: *stoic face* *thoughts* A SING-OFF?! THAT's his challenge?! He must be out of his mind‚ thinking that I would ever- Wait‚ a Sing off. I've heard him sing... Pretty good but not as good as me. *mental gasp* Danni! Batman finally decided that she's ready to join the Team‚ and we've been looking for the perfect way to introduce her. Ohhh‚ this is just perfect! Now I just have to pull the right strings. *out loud* ...Only on my conditions.

W: *nods reluctantly but eagerly*

R: First‚ there will be 3 rounds. One solo songs performed by us‚ one for the duets and one solo for our partner that has to be on the Team. Otherwise you're disqualified. Second‚ at least one of the songs has to be written by ourselves and our partners. Fail to do this and disqualification follows as well. Third‚ the 'contest' will take place in a week (CHECK IF POSSIBLE WITH TIMELINE!) at the scheduled Team and mentor bonding day. The only ones there would be present are the Team members and all our mentors. *turns to SB* Well almost all our mentors‚ Batman is still trying to get Supes his head out of his ass. *turns back to W* Fourth‚ the rest of the Team and the mentors chose the winner. Fifth‚ knowing that GA'll get all pouty faced if we don't do this‚ the mentors ARE allowed to bet on who's gonna win. *turns to BC* What do you think Canary‚ do-able?

BC: *comes out of her shock about what just happened and picks up jaw from floor* Y-yes‚ do-able. I'll inform the mentors about this‚ unless you want to do it yourself.

R: *shakes his head* Only if you want to‚ though Bats probably already knows. But please try to keep the rest of the League in the dark about this. Otherwise they'll try to come too. Unless you make it very VERY clear that they can't come‚ they aren't allowed to bet either. I don't want to make KF and whoever he chooses to lose with him's loss to hard on them. Now‚ if you would excuse me‚ I have a victory to prepare. *starts walking to Zeta like a boss*

Zeta: Recognized Robin B02

W: *picks up jaw from floor* W-wh-wha-what just happened?

BC: *chuckles and puts a hand on his shoulder* You challenged Robin to a singing competition and he excepted it on his terms. He also dissed you a little‚ so I suggest you start preparing self-written songs with a Team member of choice before it's time. *walks away*

Zeta: Recognized Black Canary *CHECK FOR CODE*

W: *still shell shocked but less than before* Who wants to help me?

K: I am sorry my friend‚ but I am no singer.

A: Forget it Baywatch.

C: Don't look at me.

M: I'd be happy to help!

**after R left mountain‚ at Bat cave**

R: Hey Danni! *hugs D*

D: Hey. I missed you.

R: Me too. Wish Bruce would stop forcing me to go to Mount Justice instead of staying with you.

D: Yeah‚ me too. But enough whining‚ anything interesting that happened?

R: *smirks* Oh yeah. I think I just made the perfect way to induct you into the Team. *tells D what happened at MJ*

D: *lol* That's perfect! Now come on and tell Bruce. I want to see his face when he hears it‚ Alfie's too!

*in the kitchen*

D: Hey Alfred.

R: Hey Alf.

A: Hello master Dick‚ master Danni. How was it at the Mountain‚ master Dick?

R: *shrugs* Oh well‚ was bored‚ missed Danni‚ got annoyed by Wally and his stupid competitions that he just kept on doing‚ and accepted a challenge to a sing-off by Wally.

A: *raises a brow* Oh? And why would you comply with this challenge?

R: To have some fun with Danni's official joining to the Team.

D: He made it to a multiple round battle. One for him and Wally‚ one for duets and one for the partner choses by Dick and Wally themselves that have to be on the Team. If he doesn't do that‚ he's disqualified.

R: But seeing as I'm choosing Danni to be my partner‚ he's going to think that I broke my own rules and go easy. That is until he sees what he's up against.

D: *swings an arm around R* The twin wonders are going to perform for the mentors and the Team at the next bonding day!

A: *smiles* Well‚ be sure to let master Bruce know what you are planning. We don't want Batman shocked‚ now do we?

-

R: Are you serious?

P: OK‚ I know I'm dead‚ but I'm only half dead. So‚ no‚ I'm not Serius.

R: *frowns and tilts head* What?

P: Well‚ you asked if I was Serius. I know he died‚ but that doesn't mean that because I'm half dead‚ that I'm Serius. And I'm sure Harry wouldn't want me as his uncle. More like a crazy‚ in a nice kinda way‚ aunt.

*both dol*

-

Team mentor bonding day: hide and seek

BC: Ok. So‚ now it's Robin's turn to choose what we are going to do.

R: *taps index on chin‚ look over at P‚ P smirks‚ R matches the smirk* Hide and Seek.

W: WHAT!? That's so not fair dude. You were trained to hide so nobody could find you! And not only that‚ but the guy who thought you is playing along!

R: Why are you complaining Wally? Yeah Bats is going to play too‚ but who knows for how long? Besides‚ the other mentors are going too as well. We'll have the fastest man and boy searching for us as well as two Martians a Kryptonian‚ a guy and his protégé that'll shoot an arrow at anything that looks suspicious‚ two Atlantians of which one the king himself and maybe even BC is going to play too. So it's all of you against 3 Bats. WHY are you complaining?

*everybody missed that he said 3 Bats*

W: Fine. But NO going outside the cave! OR hacking into the security cameras!

R: *shrugs* Fine.

P: So who's going to seek first?

R: Wait. Let's start with the rules because some may not have played this before.

P: Okay.

R: Rule #1: whoever the seeker is is a team. The teams will be divided by mentors and protégés. So the teams will be The Speedsters‚ The Martians‚ The Arrows and so on. SB‚ you'll form a team with BC. The same teams go for the hiding team. Rule #2 the team that seeks has to count to 100 to make sure that everybody has time to hide. Barry‚ Wally this rule counts for you too‚ NO speed counting. Rule #3 whoever is found first will be the next seeker. Rule #4 the seeker team has to find all the members of the hiding team to count them as found. For example: if you find Wally‚ you have to find Barry as well before team Speedsters is found. Same goes for the rest of the teams. Rule#5 in the last round the team that hasn't been found will be the seeker. Rule #6 the game keeps on going until all the hiding teams are found. Otherwise you guys take all the fun out of hiding. *small pout accompanied by P* Rule #7 NO setting traps. GA this goes for you especially. *mini glare* Rule #8 NO mentally searching for the teams. The rest of the powers aren't allowed to be used either. To keep it fair for the humans on the teams.

During last round of hide-and-seek‚ R and P sing 'Hide and Seek (Nightcore)' and make an exit when the song ends. Leagues in the WT‚ scared along with Team and mentors in MJ.

-

P: Hey‚ who's Tall‚ Ginger and Grumpy over there?

RA: My name is Red Arrow. And who are you?

P: Oh I know. I just wanted to call you Tall‚ Ginger and Grumpy. *shit eating grin*

-

KF: *runs into door*

P: Don't hug doors KF! Was the first time not enough‚ and those were reinforced Fire doors!

KF: *looks weird at P cuz she ain't supposed to know about that*

*other time*

F: *crashes face first into door* Aw.

P: Yeah 'aw'. Don't wanna get hurt? STOP HUGGING DOORS! You're almost as bad a Wally!

*another other time*

I: *runs into door* *groans*I'm sooo feeling the mode.

P: WHAT IS IT WITH SPEEDSTERS AND HUGGING DOORS AT HIGH VELOSITY AND THEN COMPLAINING IT HURTS?!

*again other time*

V(kf): *runs into door*

P: Haaaaaaahhhhh just like old times‚ eh Wally?

V: *groans* Shut up Phantom. *tries to roll up*

RR‚ RH‚ R&NW: *drop down laughing*

RH: Wow you were right‚ this has to be a speedster thing.

-

Dick: Well‚ that failed.

Danni: Plan B than.

D: What's plan B?

D: Plan Bat-a-rang‚ duhh.

-

R supposed to meet up with W and Roy‚ P with A and Z. R and P get undercover mission from B‚ Team doesn't/ can't know. P uses I'm sick excuse‚ R secret mission from B. When asked B says there is no mission and denies P is sick. Z does locating spell‚ club with both R and P there. W‚ Roy‚ A and Z think they're on a date. Hack cams to investigate. R and P do some 'couple' things (hold hands‚ share drinks‚ dance) and the others get mad for not telling them they're together. Cover gets blown‚ huge fight beaks out‚ R and P kick the crap outta bad guys. Others realize they WERE on a mission and that R and P knew they were watching. Later scolding from B‚ Barry‚ Ollie and Zatara.

-

*during fight‚ Riddler's winning. Team and League are listening in over comms*

#Comms W: Dude hang on! We're almost there!#

Riddler: Ahahhah. I finally caught the bird! Now‚ before we clip those wings for ever‚ how about one last riddle for old time's sake?

#B: Robin. ETA 2 minutes. I know you can out smart him‚ just leave a piece for me.#

R(Dick): *Bat-glare*

Riddler: Hmf‚ not as scary as the Bat so I take that as a yes. Now riddle me this. A nightmare for some‚ for others a savior I come. My hands cold and bleak‚ it's the warm hearts they seek.

#W: Dude‚ ya know this! It's death!

#Aq: Kid is right‚ my friend. The answer is death.

#Arty: You always get the nicest criminals‚ don'tcha?

R: *spits out blood* My sister‚ you asshole.

# *comms fall dead quiet bc they confused about his answer*#

Riddler: *chuckles* Oh how wrong you are. Your sister isn't here. But she will be with you again pretty soon. Without you‚ and the Bat too busy protecting others‚ the little fire bird will die. Just like her brother will now.

*gunshot heard thru comms‚ comms go static*

#Everybody: ROBIN!!!!

**with Nigma**

Riddler: ---Just like her brother will now.

P: *drops down behind him‚ taps on his shoulder*

Riddler: *turns around*

P: *KO's him‚ accidentally (not) pulling trigger of gun‚ fire misses everything and lodges in a piece of wood*

R: *hugs P* Glad you're okay.

P: Me okay?! How about you!? You just got your ass handed to you by Eddie! EDDIE! Out of all people‚ why did you almost lose to him? I...I could have lost you. *cries softly*

R: I'm fine. Or‚ at least‚ I will be after Bats and the rest squeezed the life out of me when they get here. *chuckles‚ thinking about DaddyBats Roy and Wally hugging him to near death*

P: (still hugging) *chuckles‚ wipes away tears* Yeah‚ let's just message B and go to the Cave. You need to get your wounds treated right now.

R: Aw come on. They aren't that *winces in pain* bad? Heh...

P: *soft but authoriterising glare*

R: Fine. Let's go.

-

Rob: ''Who the hell is that retarded vampire-wannabe?!''

P: ''Eehhm‚... hehe‚... Vlad.''

-

*in Music class*

Teach: Alrighty class. Today we're going to do the singing exam. The song you'll be leaning for this is 'Hallelujah' -

Da: *slams hands in desk and stands up* ALL YOU SINNERS STAND UP, SING HALLELUJAH! SHOW PRAIZE WITH YOUR BODY STAND UP SING HALLELUJAH! *class starts laughing* IF YOU CAN'T STOP SHAKING LEAN BACK LET IT MOVE RIGHT THROUGH YA!

Teach: DANNI!

Da: What?

Teach: I said 'Hallelujah' not-whatever you were singing!

Da: But that was Hallelujah!

Teach: Not the one I meant!

Da: You weren't specific!

-

Joker: Twinkle twinkle‚ little bat, how I wonder where you're at!

-

One two‚ Joker's coming for you.

Three four‚ try to lock your door.

Five six‚ he's gonna beat you with sticks.

Seven eight‚ oops Batman came too late

Nine ten‚ Birdy never sings again

-

*Joker goons guarding stolen guns*

Goon1: Let play Rock‚ Paper, Scissors!

Goon3: 1‚2‚3!

Goon2: All paper‚ what are the odds?

G3: Do I look like I went to school?

G1: 1,2,3!

G3: Gun beats paper.

G2: No‚ gun doesn't beat paper! Stick to the rules!

G1: 1,2,3!

G2: What the hell is that?!

G3: Dynamite!

G1: For the love of- AGAIN!

G3: 1,2,3!

G3: You sure this works with 3 players?

G1: Yeah! Go again!

G2: 1,2,3!

G2: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NO DINAMITE!

G1: What is this? Best of 3?

G3: This is gonna be a loooong night.

NW&P: *jump out from hiding place after face-palming*HOW ABOUT WE HELP!

-

ST ending plan

After the reveal bc of the title. Like 'Secret Twins' ends after it's not a secret to the world anymore...that sounds poetic, like a movie, and then the sequel will end with them becoming their own heroes

-

ST epilogue

Aftermath of the big battle (DanniVEvilDanni+reveal), a news cast saying that the world has remembered a long forgotten hero, and a new villain (Vlad) shutting off their TV and starting to laugh like a maniac being like ''Soon, little badger, you WILL be mine and I-we shall rule the world!''

-

*after end battle*

Mythical bird. Reborn from the ashes of her previous life. That's who she is. What she is. That's why she chose it. She is...Phoenix!

-

*during forced 'team bonding' (after P joined)*

Rob: *enters room, looks around room, sighs, falls on couch, and groans*

Aq: Robin, are you all right?

Rob: *mumbles something in pillow he face planted in*

Arty: Sorry, I don't understand pillow talk. What did ya say?

Rob: *sighs again* I...think she's high... again.

KF: Hold up! She? High?! AGAIN?! What the hell, dude! Didn't know Bats is taking in junkies!

Rob: Don't talk about Phoenix like that! She isn't a junkie, far from it!

SB: Than why did you say she is high *cursive->* 'again'?

Rob: Well Phoenix, as well as me and some other people we know*slight glare to W*, are some of those special people who manage to get high on oxygen...

M'g: I don't understand...

Rob: Well you know how people are when they do drugs, right? *M'g nods* Well, we don't need drugs to get kind of similar symptoms.

M'g: But isn't that super dangerous?

Rob: *slight chuckle* Well, no, because we aren't really high or stoned. It's just something GA and the Flash came up with to explain our sudden super activity and the fact that we kinda remind them of high people when we're like that...

Z: What happened last time this happened to her?

Rob: I don't know...Bats says I was first and somehow dragged her into it...I don't remember a thing but apparently we made one of the biggest pillow forts as of yet, took the Batmobile for a joy ride...twice, broke a lot before we kinda passed out. But not really, more like half conscience, and started singing the most random songs that popped into our heads and didn't care how it sounded...

P: *runs into the room* Oh my god, I've been looking everywhere for you! *jumps on Rob's back* you know I really don't like it that you were thinking about letting your hair grow out! I already told them that I wouldn't hesitate to sneak into your room while you sleep to cut it off! *continues on rambling*

Arty: *nudges W* She could give you a run for your money with the way she clearly mastered the 'speedy talk' and she's only human!

W: *crosses arms and grumbles*

Rob: *gasps* I just had the perfect idea!

W: Fuck me, we lost him... Get ready to fight for your life.

P: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Rob: Pairing up?!

P: Adding ZZ though!

Arty: What's going on?! Why are you pairing up?! And why ZZ?!

Rob&P: *look at each other, creepy smile, take out colored paintball guns from GKW, throw color matching one to Z* PAINTBALL WAR!

Arty: Where did they get those from!?

Z: I don't care! This is fun! *aims at Arty*

Later

*Mentors walk in to find a paintball covered Team in a giant dog pile with Phoenix&Robin on top looking unharmed*

GA&F: I blame theOxygen High!

-

KF: You're a coward! I don't know why Bats and Rob EVER accepted you! You just run from the fight like a pathetic, little, scarred COWARD!

P: I'm no coward KF. I don't run from a fight.

KF: THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?!

P: *without turning back* Stepping back a little...

KF: *curling/ uncurling fists*

P: Just so I can make my hit be felt even more! *goes 'head first' back into fight*

KF: *gapes* She is one crazy-ass bat...WAIT FOR ME-HEE! *runs back after P*

-

*last chap of ST after the ending battle*

Danni: *falls to ground after fight with evil Danni*

Robin: Phoenix! *runs to her*

D: I'm sorry Dick. *bursts into flames*

R: DANNI! NO! *keeps running to her*

KF&F: *catch R* Dude, stop! You're gonna get yourself killed!

R: *cries, struggles to get free*

B: *tales him into his arms*

R: *cries into his shoulder*

KF: *slowly starts crying too*

F: *pulls KF into hug, cries too*

GA&RA: *awkwardly hug while crying*

KF: *sniffs, pulls away a little* Hey.

All: *look up a bit towards KF*

KF: I think I've figured it out.

RA: *wipes away tear* figured what out?

KF: Why she chose her name. Why Phoenix.

R: *lil chuckle* Yeah? And why's that?

KF: *straitens a bit* Well, she carrie-carried heavy burdens.

RA: *starts to catch on* She had healing powers.

F&GA: And she busted into flames when she died.

KF: *lil frown* But then it doesn't fit anymore.

R: *frowns deeply* According to myth, they are... *gasp, let's go of B and runs to D, digs a bit, pulls less bruised and hurt D out of ashes*

B: *slight whisper* Reborn from the ashes. *runs to Birds*

Others: *follow*

D: *unconscious*

B: *quickly checks her over along with R*

R: *happy crying* She's okay. She's gonna be okay! *hugs D again*

All: *join hug*

-

End The Flash (s2e27) ''Sometimes the only way to move forward is to revisit the things in your past that were holding you back. You have to deal with them head on‚ no matter how scary they may be. Because once you do‚ you'll see that you can go further than you ever imagined.'' -Barry Allen aka Flash.

-

(C=character)

CA: So I'm guessing you're the moral support?*looks at CC*

CB: More like moral destruction. -_-

CC: *smiles to CB* I do try.

-

Small Dumb Dam Story.

Dick went to a dam.

He was thirsty so he got some dam water.

Bruce gave him some extra money so he could by a dam souvenir.

There was a boat with a 'this is mah dam boat' sticker.

Jason was there too‚ he pushed Dick against the dam door.

Tim was running around in a dam shop.

Damian was about to kill some dam people.

Bruce himself looked about ready to jump off the dam railing.

I don't think he likes my dam jokes.

I think those dam people get to hear a lot of dam jokes.

Those dam people probably like dam jokes 'cause they have a dam job.

Apparently Jay was counting how many dam jokes I made.

Dam!

-

Batman lines

Do you realize how many bones you have left for me to break?

Please don't lie. I've just gotten the blood from the last Riddler informant of my face.

How much to I need to hurt you?

Face or legs‚ which one do I break first?

-

These are some funny sarcastic quotes, gotten from various locations including internet and other authors pages

1. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit more effort, you can be absolutely and perfectly impossible.

2. Sharks hug with their mouth.

3. The Zombies are coming! They're hungry for brains! Don't worry, you're safe.

4. My mind works like lightening...One brilliant flash and it's gone.

5. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

6. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

7. When life gives lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

8. HELP!! I got lost in my mind, it was uncharted territory...

9. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

10. The only way for people to meet your standards, is for you to lower them, a lot.

11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

12: A computer once beat me at chess, but was no match for me at boxing.

13. think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!

14. To fail you have to try. To try you have to fail first to start again.

15. Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes, he's my best friend. I call him Snarky for short...

16. I'm not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane...

17. Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

18. Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to use sarcasm.

19. "I'd insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload."

20. silence is golden. duct tape is silver.

21. When life give you lemons, throw them back at life and steal the oranges you asked for

22. It doesn't matter what it is, it's automatically cool if it glows in the dark!

23. I have the cupcake I MAKE THE RULES!

24. I got attacked by a giant screaming rainbow... but it turns out it was just technical difficulties

25. Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge :)

26. IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES: run like hell!

27. It takes real skill to trip over a flat surface

28. I didn't hit you, I simply high-fived your face...

29. The road to success is always under construction

30. I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you!

31. Procrastinators UNITE...tomorrow... Maybe... When's the deadline? :P

32. WARNING: do not set self on fire

33. DRINK COFFEE! Do Dumb Things Faster with More Energy!

34. I trip up the stairs :D

35. Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil

36. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button!

37. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

38. I am a bomb technician - If you see me running try to keep up (Good luck with that."

39. PRIVATE PROPERTY: If you can read this, you are within range

40. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils (Yep.)

41. Life sucks, and then you die.

42. Mean people suck, nice people swallow

43. Whenever you're in deep shit, BATMAN WILL SOLVE IT!

--

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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The Teenage Bill of Rights:

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.

(Why wait that long)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.

(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.

(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.

(Destruction has a bigger effect)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.

(Everyone knows grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.

(Just start them)

7) Thou shall not skip class.

(Just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.

(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.

(like Nike says, "Just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (Push them in)

--

Guy: Where have you been all my life?

Girl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Girl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?

Girl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Girl: Do not enter.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Girl: But would you stay there?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Girl: Really? 'Cause I'd put i at the beginning and u at the end.

Guy: Your eyes they're amazing.

Girl: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?

Girl: It's in the phone book

Guy: I know how to please a woman

Girl: Then please leave me alone

Guy: I can tell you want me

Girl: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous

Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven

Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again

Girl: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking

Guy: I want to give myself to you

Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out

Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else