There's nothing here to see-

Absolutely nothing at all

Oye aquí hay nada!

Ok you made it this far so have a medal and now you can go

Leave please-

I beg to thee-

Ok I think everyone left now, wait you're still here!?

You aren't leaving aren't you?

There you have made to the end-
Happy now?

Jeez you are persistent, because you made it this far Ill give you kitten.

Ok now that everyone left is time for me to vent-

I have, for the past few weeks, been feeling alone and ignored. During this horrible year in quarantine I have been thinking about my life and what it has become of it. I have noted that I hardly get any attention with friends. I always get ignored, and forgotten. People talk to me more when we're strangers but the moment those strangers become friends and hang out with me they leave me alone. I get replace by my other friends who are far more interesting than me. They soon forget of my existence and everything I've done for them. I also remember a time when these friends of my friend came over to hang out with us. They noted that during most of lunch I didn't utter a word, and lunch at my school is 40 minutes long. They thought that maybe I didn't spoke any English since I look and am Mexican. One of them asked why I didn't spoke to which I responded with, I don't have anything interesting to say. They seemed confused about my answer but didn't asked anything else. Many would say that I do have something interesting, or nice to say but the fact is, no one in my friend group cares or at least that's what I feel. Cuz every time I speak or say something they just give me a short answer before going on a different topic or ignore me completely. So I usually just stay as a listener, which makes my voice unheard. I have almost been that way all my life, just listening to others not give out any opinion. So now that Im older and teachers want my opinion for work I struggle a lot because I never practice saying my thoughts out loud.

I just never felt that I fit in with anyone. I feel that in every group Im the odd one. I've been groups with videogame people, French learner's, anime fans, weird kids, and hung out a little with the popular kids (which I quickly left due to the drama). I also noted that the times I do get noticed is when people need me. Like in class Im always ignored but then there's a hard math problem and they all ask hey Snowy could you help me? Oh you're soo smart and blabla- same thing when Im with friends. Like this one time where I was having a small conversation with one friend through a group chat, then my other friend came and they both started to talk to each other. I tried to join in and get their attention but they completely ignored me so I went to watch some YouTube videos to kill time. Ten minutes later they @ me Snowy! Snowy! Help us decide what's the best option for our friend to tell her crush that she likes him. I was just upset that they ignored me the whole time and they want me to come back to just help them. I wasn't in the mood during that time and have said some things I regret..... They were both surprised by my outburst and said that I needed to chill down. That just made me more upset but I guess I should have expected it. I should have expected that, I should have accepted the fact that Im only here to be used before being turned into a ghost to humanity........