The house is dead.

it seems silly to talk about a house like this, but it understood Mirabel.

and now it is a pile of rubble on the ground, a broken foundation built on her abuela's grief.

her mother approaches, worry evident on her features.

Once, Julieta Madrigal was young and radiant and didn't have the weight of the universe on her shoulders.

but now her hair is gray and wrinkles line her face and she is terrified of losing someone like her mother lost someone.

right now, mirabel is the someone.

she tells mirabel to stay still and something else, then rushes off. 

mira can't hear very well and her vision is blurry, but she knows one thing.

she needs to get out.

everyone will blame her.

they will miss her for a little while but they'll be okay.

she remembers what bruno told her:

"my gift wasn't helping the family, but i love my family, ya know?"

she does know.

she isn't going to help.

she is a burden

useless

unworthy

stupid

cruel

"you need to stop, mirabel!"

she runs.

hikes through the mountains of the encanto

goes even further

how long has it been? ten miles?

At this point, her hearing's come back, and her vision is better, but she is so hungry.

so thirsty. 

She doesn't trust the water in the streams, so she doesn't drink. 

She prays for a maracuyá tree, a guava tree, but all around her is an open field, and she thinks she's going to die.

Mirabel falls to her knees.

Maybe dying isn't so bad.

Her last thought before it all goes black is "i'm sorry, mama."