Spring

Sunwoo couldn't sleep. He had taken his melatonin gummies, so he should be off in dreamland by now, but he was still wide awake; his brain just wouldn't shut off. He had originally tried to think if there was anything that would possibly keep his body awake, but his thoughts came up empty. Finals ended a month ago so that stress was over. He already paid the monthly rent, so that was fine. He even got promoted at his job– so he seriously had no idea what could be causing his brain to be running like it drank a store's worth of Monster Energy.

It only hit him after a few minutes of thinking that, oh yeah, he had a massive thing for Juyeon and it was causing him nothing but pain because there were so many issues that came along with his feelings. There were vines breaking into his bones, blossoms falling from his pores, and green leaves covering his eyes.

Sunwoo finally resigned himself that sleep wouldn't come to him, so he got out of his bed and headed towards the kitchen. He saw Juyeon and Tuna curled up on the armchair, the book the vampire was reading paged open on their slumbering bodies.

At least one of them could sleep tonight, Sunwoo thought to himself. He moved to make some Sleepy Time tea, hoping to all the gods that it would live up to its name, though that was unlikely; when his insomnia hit, it hit hard.

"'Sun?" A groggy voice called from the living room. Sunwoo didn't know when the nickname started, certainly, since most people either called him 'Woo or just his name, but that kind of made it special. Only Juyeon called him Sun.

"Yeah. Sorry, did I wake you?" Sunwoo asked as he put the kettle on to boil.

Juyeon pattered into the kitchen. His hair was sticking up every which way and he kept blinking slowly. "Yeah, 'ts alright though," he said with a yawn. "What's up? 'Vrything okay?" His words were slurring together and a pang of guilt shot through the college student.

"Yeah," he smiled softly. "Everything's fine. Just getting some tea."

Juyeon nodded and leaned against the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Sunwoo pour the hot water into a #1 Graduate! mug from Sunwoo's high school. The faint smell of herbs wafted through the air, making Juyeon even drowsier than he was before.

"You can go back to sleep, hyung," Sunwoo said, voice quiet so as not to disturb the night.

But the older shook his head. "No, I'm fine. 'Want to make sure you're doing okay." He gave Sunwoo a look, but he pretended not to notice it.

"I'm okay, really. I just wanted some tea." He took a long sip as if to prove his point, but he forgot to let it cool down a bit and immediately burned his tongue. "Ow! Shit shit shit!" He placed the mug down and moved his tongue around his mouth in hopes of soothing it.

Juyeon looked on with an amused smile, only offering a comforting pat on the back as support to his friend. "Right, nothing's wrong."

"That was on accident!" Sunwoo whisper-yelled, glaring at the vampire as he placed ice in a cup of water and downed the whole thing. "Ugh, jesus. That hurt like a bitch. Thanks." he took the paper towel Juyeon offered him, drying off the area around his mouth with it.

Juyeon leaned back at his space on the counter, now much more awake than before. "Seriously, 'Sun, what's going on?"

"Nothing, alright? I just couldn't sleep well. That's it."

"You should know that doesn't work on me. I can literally sense your emotions." There was no smugness in the remark, but it irked Sunwoo anyway.

"Yeah. I know. Doesn't mean I need to tell you anything." The words came out bitter and Sunwoo was too ashamed to see if Juyeon was hurt by it. The plants gripped tighter on his body, making him rigid and terrified.

It was silent for a bit with Sunwoo leaning over the sink, elbows locked with flowers and teeth made of petals biting his lip while Juyeon was looking at him with worry and resigned melancholy. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was tense and there was something brewing in the air between them that made Sunwoo feel like he was suffocating. Or maybe that was just his head filling with pollen as the despair of his situation hit him once again.

"Do you remember when you told me that vampires only ever love once?" Sunwoo said suddenly, hyperfocused on the excess water dripping from the faucet every few seconds.

Juyeon raised a brow. "Yes, I do. Why?"

God, he can't believe he's about to let himself be destroyed by the blooms of his emotions. "Do you have that love?" Well, too late to turn back now.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...do you have that person?" Sunwoo finally turned to look at him and immediately regretted it. Juyeon looked beautiful in the moonlight. His skin was pale and his eyes were swimming in a black ocean. He looked like how he did every day, and it made Sunwoo's knees break as he was pulled under the earth.

Juyeon blinked in surprise. "Uhm...Kind of. Yeah."

Why did Sunwoo even bring this up? When he knew he'd just get hurt? "Oh." And he didn't even try to hide the pain in his voice. "Okay. I'll go back to bed now. Sorry for waking you." He moved to rush past Juyeon, leaving his half-full mug on the counter, when the vampire grabbed his bicep and stopped him.

"Wait. I didn't– he doesn't know. That I love him, I mean." There was an underlying desperate tone in his voice that squeezed Sunwoo's heart so much that he felt it would burst into hundreds of blossoms. There were vines trapping his lungs and he couldn't breathe.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that..." He tried to wrench his arm free, but Juyeon's grip was strong.

"'Sun, that's not...no. I– he doesn't know because I haven't told him. I was scared he wouldn't feel the same."

Sunwoo, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do this to yourself? You're the only one to blame for this pain you're feeling now.

He let his bangs fall over his face, the curls of his hair stinging against his eyes more than the tears that threatened to fall. Sunwoo didn't say anything to what Juyeon said; he didn't trust his voice to work anymore, not when the plants were creeping up his throat. Not when his heart was frozen in an ice age made of poison flowers and rotten leaves. Not when he was about to shatter.

"It's okay hyung, you don't need to explain yourself to me. I was just asking."

He heard Juyeon sigh. His large hand slip down his arm and locked their pinkies together. A heliotrope blossomed in the space between their palms, timeless and warm. "Sunwoo, I didn't tell you because I was scared it would complicate things. And this is already complicated enough. I didn't want to ruin it."

The roots that had pulled Sunwoo under the earth shot him back up as what Juyeon said finally got through his head.

"What?" He took a risk and turned his head.

Juyeon took his chance and brought the boy closer to him. His hands cupped Sunwoo's cheeks, heating the cold that flowed through him like an endless winter. There was a shine in Juyeon's eyes that made them look like a garden. Bouquets of dahlias and carnations blossomed on his face and Sunwoo found it beautiful.

Small purple spread all over Sunwoo's body. The heliotropes bloomed on his fingertips and spilled out of his eyes and ears. He was overflowing with nature and the vines were about to pop his lungs as Juyeon pressed their lips together. It was spring outside, and it was spring inside. The cold was washed away with Juyeon's hands on his waist. The autumn wind receded as Sunwoo curled his fingers through the older boy's hair. There was nothing complicated about this. About them. About spring.

Juyeon pulled away first, smiling softly. "I was scared I wouldn't be allowed to do that."

"You look like a flower field," Sunwoo said, staring at him.

"What?"

"And home."

Juyeon tried to contain his laughter, but a soft chuckle escaped him anyways. "Sunwoo what on earth are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you. Like a heliotrope. I love you endlessly. I don't think I could ever stop loving you."

"I love you too. I always will," Juyeon replied. "I don't ever want to stop loving you."

Sunwoo smiled, the vines and petals falling off his body as the sun rose on his chest once more. "Good." he was glowing, he could feel it. And Juyeon could see it. And it was beautiful.

He was allowed to think Sunwoo was beautiful.