"And suddenly, I am angel on the cutting room floor,
wearing gore, a blank stare, not much more."

✮

DISARM

✮

ARYANA ENGINEER
as
MAZZY STARK

✮

DISARM: THE SOUNDTRACK

" Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you "

1. DISARM | smashing pumpkins

⭐️

" Don't you know she's been here all along
in a dream?
She belongs in a dream "

2. SARAH | alex g

💫

" I am something
I have been something
I was born something
What could I be? "

3. ABBEY | mitski

⭐️

" And suddenly it all became so clear
It was sadly making sense "

4. A TROUBLED MIND | noah kahan

💫

" In the darkness I will meet my creators
And they will all agree
That I'm a suffocator "

5. SMOTHER | daughter

⭐️

" It feels like I only go backwards, darling
Every part of me says, 'Go ahead' "

6. FEELS LIKE WE ONLY GO BACKWARDS | tame impala

💫

" I was lost and lost my shape
There was nothing I could do
I don't want to waste away
It was all I gave to you "

7. THE SILENCE | manchester orchestra

⭐️

" Take my heart, pull it apart
And take my brain, or what remains
And throw it all away "

8. BODY | mother mother

💫

" It is happening again
The bodies lying in the sand
They're moving in the dark "

9. SILVER SOULS | beach house

⭐️

" God, don't let me lose my mind
Trouble on my left, trouble on my right
I've been facing trouble almost all my life "

10. TROUBLE | cage the elephant

💫

" Pass me that lovely little gun
My dear, my darling one
The cleaners are coming, one by one
You don't even wanna let them start "

11. O CHILDREN | nick cave & the bad seeds

⭐️

" You don't have to hold me anymore
Our cave's collapsing
I don't wanna be me anymore "

12. THE GOLD | manchester orchestra

💫

" Feel, my skin is rough
But it can be cleansed
It can be cleansed "

13. CAN'T PRETEND | tom odell

⭐️

" I've wept for those who suffer long
But how I weep for those who've gone
In rooms of grief and questioned wrong
But keep on killing "

14. REDEMPTION DAY | johnny

💫

" Am I a part of the cure
Or am I a part of the disease? "

15. CLOCKS | coldplay

⭐️

" All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run
Outrun my gun "

16. PUMPED UP KICKS | foster the people

💫

" I spent two days in a bathroom asking you
'Where did you say we came from?' "

17. FILM CREDITS | club kuru

⭐️

" You came to pick me from out of the city
You turned me sour
When I was younger, younger and prouder "

18. YOUNGER & DUMBER | indigo de souza

💫

" And I want to believe
And you want to believe
And we want to believe
And we want to live "

19. CYGNET COMMITTEE / LAZARUS | david bowie

⭐️

" Who wants to live forever?
There's not chance for us
It's all decided for us "

20. WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER | queen

💫

" Spiders in my head, spiders in my mind
You may take my eyes, but baby I'm not blind "

21. SPIDERHEAD | cage the elephant

⭐️

" I'm coming up only to hold you under
And coming up only to show you're wrong "

22. THE FUNERAL | band of horses

💫

" If I get too close
And I'm not how you hoped
Forgive my northern attitude
Oh, I was raised out in the cold "

23. NORTHERN ATTITUDE | noah kahan

LINK: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4UaclOn4zxFjH10yMh3Lwn?si=3rpxnZnUQ0Wdd4xmeGzgnQ&pi=u-wmZa2qdAT4qi

✮

MY SOCIALS:
tiktok: dieasthedevil
tumblr: die-as-the-devil
pinterest: dieasthedevil
instagram: dieasthedevil_

✮

ALSO BY ME:
future ghosts (twd)
junebug (twd)
the pure & the damned (twd: dd)
listen before i go (fg prequel)
boy//animal (marvel)

✮

I GET UP IN THE MORNING

TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM

I GET UP TO THIS FEELING

KEEPS ME ON THE RUN

I GET UP IN THE MORNING

PUT MY DREAMS AWAY

I GET UP, I GET UP, I GET UP AGAIN

OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOUR SOUL TONIGHT

✮

DISCLAIMERS:

hello! i am max! nice to meet you <3

first things first, this book has mature themes such as anything else you might see in a typical marvel movie. i try to remember to put trigger warnings at the beginning of potentially triggering chapters, but sometimes i forget. if a chapter is missing a trigger warning, don't be afraid for comment. please be careful and take care of yourself!

second, this story features a hearing-impaired main character. i am not hearing-impaired, so all of my descriptions may not be 100% accurate. however, i grew up going to schools where the hearing-impaired students were in the same classes as everyone else, so we learned some sign language and i've learned some stuff from that. i also have a few hearing-impaired relatives. i base my info off of them and what i know from them, and of course from the internet, but that does not, by any means, prove that i know everything about it. so if you know something is inaccurate or anything like that, please don't hesitate to let me know! i would very much appreciate that.

also, please don't copy my work. you can use similar ideas and make them your own, but please know that if you copy my work, it will be reported.

if there are any typos/errors, please don't hesitate to point them out so i can fix them! comments are appreciated!

enjoy!