As I stand here, holding the single thing that could ruin someone's life forever, watching Tom unconscious on the medical table, I'm hardy able to keep it together. Red leader wants me to get on with it. Because he's in 'love' with Thomas and because he wants to make him 'better'. I almost saved him from this situation. But I didn't. This whole plan, helping them escape the red army, was supposed to make things better. In the end, I couldn't go through with it. If I had helped them get out of here, red leader would find out and have me killed or tortured. I would lose Pat. I would lose my position. It probably would have not been successful anyway. Getting out of this place is practically impossible. The guards, the high metal fences, the possibility of getting caught. It was too much.

Because I didn't, Tom and his friends will have to live in this hell for the rest of their lives. Tord wont stop 'loving' Tom. What they have isn't love, it's a federal crime. I know what real love is like. Those friends, albeit platonically, have a love and a bond together. And I'm about to tear it apart. The USB I hold in my hands connects to Tom's visor, and his visor connects directly to his brain. It contains fake, generated memories that paint Tord as the perfect boyfriend. I've already exported his real memories on another drive. Tord was quick to hide it away from me. I bet he's going to destroy it. His unconscious mind is currently a blank slate. Adding this USB to his visor will not make him much of a different person. After all, some of the altered memories are his normal ones but edited, in a sense. I'm still confused about how this was even possible, but Tord is a man of many secrets. He'd never tell me. Though I know these things for sure:

Adding these memories means  Tom is unable to recall that he ever met Edd or Matt.

Adding these memories makes him think he's in love with Tord.

Adding these memories will convince him he lives in the red army base.

Adding these memories will cause me to never forgive myself.

"Paul." Tord snaps, causing me to look up at him, "What are you waiting for? Just do it already."

My body moves before my mind can process what's happening. I reach over and slide the USB in a compartment in his visor. It slides shut on its own. My hands are shaking uncontrollably. Oh god, I really just did that. I'm sorry Tom. I know I'm a coward. Even if I hide behind a mask of confidence and not caring, this isn't the truth. I'm not the brave soldier everyone wants me to be. I'm a life ruiner. All I ever do is mess things up. I don't even really know Tom, yet I was the person who caught him, flew him here, and inserted the very device that changes his memories forever. I wish I helped fly them out of Norway like I promised, but I can't go back even if I yearn to.

"You are dismissed." Tord states. I run out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me.

One thing is clear to me now. I have to let Edd know what's going on. I don't care if it costs me my life. I'm going to make things right, and this time, I'm not going to fail.

-
There's an oddly cold surface under me when I wake up. At first, I'm confused. My memory is all hazy and I can't seem to recall anything. I sit up to observe my surroundings. I'm in a small room. There's a desk across from me covered with seemingly medical equipment and a poster of the human body. Near the end of where I'm sitting, there's a white foldable chair and a glass door. I jolt suddenly when I see my reflection in it. I have some sort of... digital eye thing on my face? That's the most I can make of it. It wraps around my head and has a screen covering my eyes. There's green eye-like shapes on it, so I guess that's how I can see. And then it hits me. Oh yeah, I've had these for years now! I remember Tord giving them to me cause apparently I had some sight problems. Wait- Why couldn't I recall that earlier? And where in the fresh fuck is my boyfriend? He would probably know why I'm here.

Maybe I walked into a wall or something and hit my head, and that's why I'm having trouble remembering this. It would explain also why I'm in some sort of hospital or medical room. I'm dragged out of my thoughts when the door opens, revealing the man I know and love, Tord. He's holding something I don't recognize in his hands but quickly sets it down, walking over to me.

"Tom!" He exclaims, putting his arms around me. I return the hug gladly, "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Just having trouble remembering things and I'm kinda confused as to why I'm in here." He releases me with a concerned expression.

"You're here because your visor malfunctioned to the point where it completely shut down and couldn't be used anymore. It needed to be remade and reattached to your brain, and I guess that's why you can't remember. It will probably come back to you soon enough." Tord explains, "However, I'm worried. Though you've helped me out with a lot in the past and have lived here alongside me for a while, I can't fully protect you without you being officially in my army. There's a rebellion allegedly forming against us and trying to attack. I really don't want anything to happen to you. You are the one thing in my life that I love unconditionally. If you were to take up the position of secretary, you would be kept safe. Please think about that kjære."

I reach over and intertwine my hand with Tord's, attempting to convey a calming gesture, "I would be happy to work with you."

Our lips connect in a gentle and passionate kiss that I can't help but melt into. He pulls away too soon, much to my dismay. Tord's smile is evident on his face.

"You won't regret this. I promise you everything will be better." I nod, feeling butterflies flutter in my stomach when he spoke. Fuck, am I stupidly in love.

-
(Does the chapter title make sense now? Eh? Eh? Yeah, I know that wasn't clever. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this part, which was a direct continuation of the last chapter. I figured it would be better this way since it was a lot of stuff to cram together. Sorry if it got confusing at the end there. Tord knows how to tell convincing lies.)