Enrollment

They say love complicates things. Dahil sa pagmamahal kaya may gulo. That because of love, it weakens ones capability to think rationally. Because of love, there are people who's suffering from undying pain and regrets. The pain that they've felt because of their unrequited love. And the regrets of not having their true love in their arms.

Is love really is the root of it?

I smiled bitterly.

In my point, no. I won't blame my future misfortune to love. Hindi kasalanan ang magmahal. Love for me was the greatest feeling a man can possess. Being in love and to be loved.

Kahit hindi man suklian ang pagmamahal ko ng taong mamahalin ko, wala akong sisihin na kahit ano o sino. Kasi desisyon ko 'yon, it is my free will to enter into that kind of relationship. It is all on me, as to why I am experiencing the agony if any.

Yes, I may feel regrets but that regrets will turn me into a better individual. A fine and fully grown lady.

"Ang swerte ng babae kuya." Mahinahon kong sabi. We are looking intently on the eyes.

"You think so?" his voice was so serious. Tumango ako bago ibaling ang tingin sa harap.

"She's so blessed for being loved by you. You are a Damascus kaya!" I chuckled. "Our family was a good catch, kaya dapat ipakilala mo na!" hindi siya nagsalita.

I sighed. "You know I have a friend of mine na nasaktan because she caught her boyfriend cheating." Panimula ko, marahan akong natawa ng maalala ang pangyayaring iyon.

It was during her eighteenth birthday na hindi sumipot ang boyfriend sa party niya. Then she decided na puntahan ang condo ng lalaki only to see him making out with another girl. After that night, every time she entered in a relationship, she will end up being cheated.

Hindi ko alam anong problema ng mga lalaki ngayon. Hindi nakukuntento sa isa, gusto laging may reserba.

"Loving someone was never a sin. It's not because she is unreachable or you thought the wrong person."

I choose not to look at him. Kahit alam kong kanina pa siya nakatitig sa mukha ko.

"Once you already feel the feeling dept into your heart. You will do anything and everything in your power to have that person caged in your arms." Naiilang na ako sa tingin niya. But I choose to continue.

"Hindi sapat na dahilan ang hindi mo siya maabot o ano pa man. Kung mahal mo talaga ang isang tao. Gagawin at gagawin mo ang lahat para sa kaniya. Nevermind the risk.. nevermind the struggle, basta para sa mahal mo, isugal mo." Nanatiling blangko ang kaniyang mukha. Walang mababasang emosyon.

"And you will treasure the person. Hindi ka gagawa ng ikasisira ng relasyon niyo. Kasi imagine the effort that you made just to win her heart. Tapos magloloko ka lang?" I chuckled before looking into the sky. It's beautiful kahit maambon.

"I am not saying this kasi nagkajowa na ako huh!" marahan akong tumawa.
"Sadyang 'yan ang pinaniniwalan ko."

Tumayo ako bago naglakad sa railing ng tulay. Kumuha ako ng pantali sa clutch na dala. Nililipad kasi ang buhok ko dahil sa hangin. Nakangiti kong pinagmasdan ang dagat sa ilalim. Kahit malayo, tanaw pa rin ang linaw nito. Nakakamiss maligo nang dagat. Napalingon ako sa likuran, nanatili siyang nakasandal sa kotse.

"Kuya ang ganda!" malawak ang ngiti ko habang nanatiling seryoso ang mukha niya.

"What?" I asked, napansin ko kasing may sinabi siya.

The way his lips moved. Ang kaso hindi man lang umabot dito. Ang liit ng boses na parang bumulong lang siya sa hangin.

"Come here, ang ganda ng dagat!" pag-anyaya ko, umiling siya. Napasimangot ako.

"Bahala ka!" ngingiti kong pinagmasdan ulit ang dagat.

Ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin ay talaga namang masarap sa pakiramdam. Natutuwa kong nilibot ang tingin sa kabuuan. The view from here is breathtakingly beautiful.

I wish someday, madala ko ang mga
kaibigan ko rito.

I wish someday, life will be like the fishes beneath the calm seas. Free from everything.

Pero alam ko, ang mga paghihirap at pasakit na nararanasan ng tao is only a part of his or her journey. Nagiging matatag tayo dahil doon, sa mga karanasan. We just need to embrace and overcome it.

We stayed there for an hour. We take a lot of pictures. Mabuti nalang napapayag ko si kuya Drake na magpicture. Nahihiya siya sa camera. May guts pa talaga siyang mahiya with his looks!

We ate our lunch in one of Tacloban's fancy restaurant. I think it was an Italian restaurant. Madalas daw siyang kumain doon, and their cuisines was worth buying for. Ang sarap balik-balikan.

"Thanks kuya, nag enjoy ako." Ngumiti ako sa kanya. Nasa garahe na kami, nanatili muna ako sa loob ng kotse.

"Glad to hear that. Magpahinga ka na, tomorrow we'll settle your enrollment." He said with his husky voice.

"Oh bukas na pala 'yon? I thought Friday pa." nasabi kasi ni mommy na sa Friday pa ang schedule ng enrollment ko. Tomorrow is monday.

Tumago lang siya, hindi nag-abalang sumagot. I was about to open the car door when he spoke.

"If possible, huwag kang magsuot ng dress. Pantalon and t-shirt will do."

Kumunot ang noo ko, I am not a fun of pantalon. Ang sikip niya kasi.

"Hindi kasi ako mahilig mag pantalon k-kuya." I stammer.

"Then, masanay ka na. Hindi nagpapasuk ang university ng mga naka dress."

Umawang ang labi ko. Is he serious? Anong klaseng university naman 'yon? They prefer pants over dresses?

"Ah, what about corporate attire?" tumaas ang sulok ng labi niya. I can't tell if he's joking or what. Ang seryoso kasi ng mata niya.

"Are you sure? Corporate attire for enrollment?" I bit my tongue, baka pagtinginan ako ng mga tao.

In the end, I agreed to the first option. Only that, sasamahan niya ako bumili since I don't have one. After that I immediately went to my room. Pagod kong hiniga ang sarili sa kama. It was tiring but worth it.

Sa nangyari ngayon, it's better if I will disregard the idea of distancing myself . There's nothing wrong with what he's doing naman.
Nakakapanibago lang. Since ang iba kung pinsan ay hindi ginagawa ang kung anong ginawa niya. But it's okay, masasanay rin ako.

Hindi ko namalayang nakatulog pala ako. When I woke up, it was three in the afternoon. Naghikab ako bago umupo sa kama. I get my laptop for a call. I miss my friends, I should call them.

I open my skype, good thing they're both online. Nakangiti kong pinindot ang call button. It takes only a few ring bago bumungad sa akin ang mukha nilang dalawa.

"Oh my gosh Angel! I miss you!"

Napangiti ako sa tinuran ni Micah she's in Japan right now. Doon siya nag-aaral while Zaphanaih is in U.S. Nagpapakalayo layo sila dahil mga sawi sa pag-ibig.

"I miss you too babe."

I don't know kung anong oras na sa kanila at online pa 'tong dalawa.

"Hey what about me?" I chuckled at Zaph response.

"Tanging magaganda lang nakakamiss sa isa't-isa." I teased, she pouted. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan sila sa mga oras na ito, since tanging mukha lang nila ang nakikita ko.

They are what I called my best friends. They were there through my thick and thins. Ever since high school, kami na ang magkasamang tatlo. We party, we cry, we enjoyed each other company. Hindi sila katulad ng iba na nagbabago ang pakikitungo sa'yo as years passed by. Lalo na malayo ang pagitan niyo. They are my real definition of friends.

"Silly of course, I miss you too."

They both laugh. I wanna meet them. Gusto kong ibalik yung mga panahong magkasama kaming tatlo. Sa kalokohan, gala, at saya. Mga panahong wala kaming ibang pinoproblema. Mga panahong maayos pa ang lahat.

"When are you going home?" I sweetly asked.

It's been more than a year since we last saw each other. Ewan ko sa kanila, may pinagtataguan sa Pilipinas. Takot na takot umuwi.

"Still don't have plans for that." Micah said, I pouted.

"Kailangan ko pang tulungan ang parents ko here. Sorry." Naningkit ang mata ko sa tinuran ni Zaph.

Every time I asked them the question, she will always answer the same. Halatang halata naman na iba ang dahilan niya sa hindi pag-uwi.

"You are both impossible! Come on girls, move-on. Its been what? Two years? Bakit hindi niyo pa 'yan kalimutan." I rolled my eyes.

"Tell that to yourself once you feel the same thing."

"Yeah, very easy to said than done." It was Micah. Napairap ako.

"Mahirap talaga 'yan, lalo na if you both are still stock on the past. With the memories! You need to let it go, in order to grow." Hindi sila nagsalita.
"You are more than that girls. Huwag niyong pag-aksayahan ng panahon yang mga lalaking walang ibang ginawa kung 'di ang lokohin kayo." I talked like an expert bitch.

"Sila naka move-on na, tapos kayo lugmok pa rin? Come on! Balik na kayo dito, wala akong kaaway."

You never know the feeling of being alone. Yung pakiramdam na gusto mong ilabas ang problema mo but you can't spill it to your parents since they already have a lot on their plate.

I badly need them.

They both sighed. Pinaglaruan ko ang dalawang kamay.

"What happen? May nang-away ba sayo?" umiling ako sa tanong ni Micah.

"You talked like you have a boyfriend already." Zaph said.

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you always say that? Anong problema sa walang jowa? Hindi ko naman ikakamatay ang pagiging tigang!"

Malakas silang tumawa. I also can't help but to laugh. Lagi nilang sinasabi sa akin ang word na tigang. Like what the fck!

I don't need a boyfriend to live. And besides what's mine will always be mine. Hindi ko kailangan madaliin ang usapang ganiyan. The right man will come.

We talked for an hour. They share with me the gwapo's na nakita nila. Nang-iinggit ba. We also talked about our destination if ever they will come home again. Which I bet years from now. Sa mga oras na iyon, I was laughing like an idiot. I can't deny that my friends make my teenage days memorable.

The next day, maaga akong nagising. Pupunta kami ni Kuya ng school for my enrollment. Hindi kami nakapunta ng mall to buy clothes kasi may urgent daw siyang gagawin. Pero ng bumalik siya kinagabihan, may dala na siyang mga damit at pantalon. All came from expensive brands of clothes.

"Good morning tito." Pagbati ko kay tito nang madatnan sa hapagkainan. Kakatapos ko lang mag-ayos, it is already seven in the morning.

"Good morning hija, have a seat." Nakaupo siya sa kabisera, drinking coffee while reading newspaper.

"Saan po sila tita?" I asked, the food was already serve.

"Tinatawag sila Dwayne." He simply answered without even looking at me. I nooded.

Hindi nagtagal, the three of them entered the kitchen.

"Good morning po tita." I smiled at her.

Ngumiti siya pabalik bago umupo sa tabi ko. Habang sila kuya Drake at Dwayne ay sa kanang bahagi ni tito. I didn't bother greeting my two cousin.

We then eat in silence. I don't know but I feel a little bit awkward.

"How was your trip yesterday?" tanong ni tita pagkatapos. Nandito pa rin kami sa hapag.

"Maayos naman po. Ang ganda ng tulay." I answered, lumawak ang ngiti niya.

"That's good to hear. Marami ka pang araw before the class starts, you can visit some beaches. Hindi ka magsisi." Marahan akong ngumiti.

"Yes po, I will."

"Mabuti nga at ni-request nitong kuya mo na ngayon ka na magpa-enroll. Mukhang na ka-plano na ang lahat."

Kumunot ang noo ko. So hindi pa pala ngayon ang totoong schedule ng enrollment? I am right na sa Friday pa!
Nagtataka akong tumingin kay kuya. Na tanging nagawa lang ay ang mag-iwas ng tingin.

Nakaplano na ang lahat huh?