Beat

Matagal akong nakatululala sa pagkaing nasa harapan. Nakalimutan ko nang kumakalam nga pala ang sikmura ko at tanging na sa isip ay ang sinabi ni tita.

We are going to San Juanico Bridge for real?

It's not like this is my first time. I've been there a couple of times pero hindi naman nagtatagal. It will only take a minutes then uwi na. My parents were kinda strict. Afraid na baka masagasan ako o ano. They are that paranoid when it comes to my safety. Well I feel the same though. Lalo na kahapon.

I sighed and decided to leave the dining. Nawalan na ako ng gana. I immediately went to the garden. Katulad kahapon, nakaupo si kuya Drake. Only that, he seems to be in bad mood. Pinili kong maupo sa bleacher ng rose row. It was adjacent to his side. I remained silent for the few mintues. Alam kong alam niyang nandito ako.

"Some people, just never change." I stayed silent. His voice was so calm now. Kabaliktaran sa kaniyang tindig.

"Do you remember when you used to ride on my back to pick some flowers?" Umangat ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

A smile was plastered in his face. Nakakahiya naman kung sasabihin kong wala akong naalala sa nakaraan. I will just ruined the moment. Kaya hindi nalang ako sumagot.

"Kahit nasa mataas na bakod, pumipitas ka pa rin." He chuckled, like he's remembering his best childhood memories. "Wala kang pakialam kahit masugatan ka man o pagalitan."

Napangiti ako, yeah I am that crazy over sunflower. Gagawin ang lahat para makakuha lang. Even if it was strictly prohibited.

"I love sunflowers kasi," I answered with a smile.

Suddenly, tumayo siya at dahan-dahang naglakad patungo sa akin. Ayan na naman ang mata kong nakatutok lang sa mukha niya. Ayan na naman ang puso kong ang lakas ng kabog. Napakurap-kurap ako ng huminto siya sa aking harapan.

"Do you also remember our promises?" Natigilan ako, kahit nga ang paglalaro namin noon hindi ko maalala. Ang mga pangako pa kaya?

Wala sa sariling umiling ako, nakatitig pa rin sa mukha niya-sa mga mata niya.

Get a hold of yourself.

I talked to myself. Hindi pwedeng lagi nalang akong ganito.

He chuckled at my response. "Kahit wala kang natatandaan, let's grant them.. hmm?" I let my mouth hung wide at his gentle voice.

"Let us prove to them, that not all promises were meant to be broken." He continued. "Tuparin natin ang pangarap ng little Angel."

--

"Drive safely son." Habilin ni tito kay kuya Drake.

Nasa loob na ako ng kaniyang Porsche. Though nakataas pa rin ang bintana dito sa side ko. While he's still outside, kausap sila tito at tita.

"Of course dad, don't worry." Tinapik ni tito ang balikat ng anak bago tumango. Umikot naman si Kuya Drake to the driver side while tita smiled at me.

"Enjoy hija, call us if something bad happens." I smiled at her.

"Opo tita, thank you." Pagkatapos, agad na pinaandar ni kuya Drake ang sasakyan. Pinili kong hindi isara ang bintana ng kotse.

The awkward silence in the atmosphere was getting into my nerves. Hindi ako sanay na kasama siya, maybe in my early days we've enjoyed each other's companies. But not anymore.

Nakatingin lang ako sa labas. Not even trying to start a conversation. I am not a talkative person. Especially if we aren't friends at all. Nanatili akong tahimik, unless ang kausap ko na ang mag-initiate ng conversation. Some says, I'm a snob. Well, probably to them. Kasi hindi naman ako pumapansin lalo na kung hindi ko kilala. I hate acting! You know that plastikan thingy? I am not good in pretending. I sucks at that department.

They can call me names or whatsoever, for as long as I will be firm and stand on my decision. I don't care about others perspective, unless of course they belong in my clan. Unless they are my family. I value them so much.

That's why as far as possible, I will stay away from him.

"You want some music?" Napalingon ako sa kaniya.

Nakatutok lang mata niya sa daan. I bit my lip, unable to find the right word to utter. Should I call him kuya? Or not? Maybe calling him kuya at this point is not a good idea.

"I'm not into music D-Drake." Agad kong hinarap ang tingin sa daan. I remained my stoic face.

He chuckled, uminit ang pisngi ko. Sabi na eh, dapat ko nalang siyang tawaging kuya.

"Hmmm, can you say it again?" He softly whispered, umawang ang labi ko sa narinig.

"Huh?" Kailangan na nga niyang mag pa check-up malala na siguro ang problema niya sa tainga.

"Come on. Say it again."

Nalilito man ay inulit ko pa rin. "I am not into music Drake." Naiilang ako sa hindi pagtawag na kuya sa kaniya. Pero anong magagawa ko?

Maayos lang din naman since I also have other cousin na hindi ko tinatawag na kuya. Nakasanayan lang, and besides hindi purque hindi mo na tinawag na kuya or ate wala kanang galang. Respect is not measured on the way you call a person. It is in a way you make them feel respected. You make them feel that they are worth than a thousand of gems.

"No, not that." Umiling niyang tinuran habang lumiliko ng daan.

"Then what?" I curiously asked. Bakit hindi niya nalang sabihin kung ano.

"My name, say my name again."
Naguguluhan ko siyang tinignan.

What's with his name? Masyado ba siyang nagagandahan?

"Ahm, Drake?" I trailed, he suddenly laugh.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib, maybe I'm the one who needs a doctor. Malakas na kumakabog ang dibdib ko.

"What's funny?' tanong ko sa kaniya.

Umiiling niyang binaba ang bintana ng kotse. Bago isandal ang kamay doon, he then played with his lips using his finger.

"I never thought my name would be this pleasant to hear." I pouted, ang ganda nga ng name niya eh.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit siya tinatawag ni tita na D, his name was so far from that nickname.

"Ilang babae na ang sinabihan mo ng ganyan?" wala sa sariling tanong ko. I intently look at his face. I noticed his lips twitched.

"Wala akong mga babae." Mayabang niyang sagot. Umirap ako. Walang babae my ass.

"Lokohin mo Mama mo." I rolled my eyes.

He then laughed. "Hindi naman ako manloloko."

"Ngayon alam mo nang manloloko ka." I bit the inside of my checks, ang sweet ng boses niya. Parang batang inagawan ng dede.

"Tsk, you never know. Wala ka naman dito."

"Ano naman ang gagawin ko dito? My life was not here in the first place."

"Am I not worth staying for?" Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. Agad naman siyang tumikhim na parang natauhan.
"I mean, we, matagal ka naming hinihintay na bumalik." Pagbabawi niya.

I shook my head. "I become busy na rin kasi, nagdadalaga gano'n." Pabiro akong tumawa habang nagkakalikot sa compartment niya. Hindi naman niya ako sinaway so I guess okay lang.

Tumaas ang kilay ko ng makikita ng condom. "At wala ka talagang babae huh?" I flatly ask, holding the thing in my hand. Umayos ako ng upo at tinaas ang hawak.

Napamura siya. "That's not mine! Sa kabigan ko 'yan." Pagtanggi niya.

"Yeah, sa kabigan mo." Inis kong sagot, halos maduling na ako sa kakatitig. Hinahanap ko lang kung ano ang flavor, I mean the word.

"Come on, put it back. Hindi ka dapat humahawak ng ganiyan." Tumaas ang kilay ko sa narinig.

"So, kayo lang ang pwede?" I heard him muttering curses. "Girls shouldn't be holding this thing pero kayo kahit gamitin puwedeng-puwede?" I added, pinaningkitan ko siya ng mata.

"Kaya pala wala kang babae huh?" Panunudyo ko, napailing siya.

"Believe me, hindi sa akin ang bagay na 'yan. It belongs to my friend." Hindi pa rin ako naniniwala. Matanda na ako para sa dahilang ganyna.

"Talk to my hand kuya!" Dumukwang ako bago iharap sa mukha niya ang palad ko na agad ko ding tinanggal. Mahirap na baka mamaya maaksidente kami.

"I told you not to call me like that." Irritation is laced in his voice. I smirk and stayed silent.

Walang nagsalita matapos iyon. Umurong ang bigla ang dila ko. Na wala ako sa mood. Sino ba naman ang hindi kung makakita ng condom sa loob ng kotse na sinasakyan mo? Worst, pinsan ko pa!

Right, He is my cousin.

Paminsan-minsan, inaalok niya ako ng pagkain na agad kong tinanggihan. Hindi ako mahilig kumain lalo na habang nagbibiyahe. Hindi nagtagal narating namin ang tulay. I immediately unbuckled my seatbelt.

Pagkababa ko, saglit kong inayos ang suot. I am wearing an Aline dress. I changed my outfit since I am not comfortable going out with only short shorts and t-shirt. Nauna nang lumabas si Kuya. Nakasandal siya sa hood ng kotse. Nagdadalawang isip ako kung tatabi ba o ano. In the end, remained standing near the door. Tightly holding my clutch. Good thing hindi masiyadong mainit ang sinag ng araw.

"What are you doing there? Come here." He tapped the space beside him.

Mabigat ang hakbang lumapit ako sa kaniya. Binigyan ko ng distansya ang pagitan namin. We are standing corner to corner. Like we have some contagious disease.

We fell into silence the next minutes. Hindi malaman kung ano ang sasabihin. I roamed my eyes in my surrounding. Ang ganda talaga ng tulay na 'to.

"Do you know what does this bridge symbolizes?" He suddenly asked but my gaze is fixated in front

It's a good thing rin na hindi marami ang sasakyan na dumadaan.

"Love? It is believe that this bridge was a gift by the former President to his wife." I answered.

I was inspired by their story. Though I know some were against the project. Pero para sa akin, this San Juanico Bridge is one of the historical features in the country. Connecting Samar and Leyte.

He chuckled. "You can say that."

I pouted my lips. "I did my research for your information."

"And you believe that your research was a fact?" I glared at him. His lips were pursing, as if really amused.

"You know what! Huwag mo nalang akong tatanungin kung 'di mo rin naman tatanggapin ang sagot ko." Singhal ko, tumawa siya.

I sighed and tried to sit on the hood of his car.

"That's right, San Juanico Bridged symbolizes his affection. This is also said to be the longest bridge in the Philippines." Aniya paglipas ng ilang sandali.

Nanatili akong tahimik. What is his point? Dinala ba niya ako rito para pangaralan?

"Yes po, Sir." I mimicked the sound of a kindergarten pupil. I bit the inside of my cheeks when he laughs.

"Silly, I am just saying."

"Ano pa ang iba mong kasabihan?" Mapaglaro kong tanong.

Nakatukod ang dalawang siko sa likod, habang nakadekwatro kasi kung hindi baka liparin ang suot ko.
Nanlaki ang mata ko ng bigla siyang humarap sa akin. He looked at me in the eyes.

"I hate myself for falling to the wrong and unreachable women in the world. That even the longest bridged can't beat."