...

When the time passed five the following day I was in the library with my friends, playing a board game. In all honesty, they were playing a board game and I was watching (staring into nothingness while thinking about the depressing state of my life). Funnily enough, what had started as something so peaceful soon ended up being one of the most eventful moments of my life. All that had to happen was for Harry Styles to walk into the library with his fellow friends following closely behind.

They were just metres away from our table when our eyes met. At first I felt like shuddering away, but the look on his face managed to captivate me for much longer than I had planned. Due to our unbreakable eye contact, Harry accidentally bumped into Elise just as she stood up from her chair, causing her to drop her MacBook into the floor.

"Oh my God!" she screeched, instantly reaching down for it on the floor.

"S-Shit, I'm so sorry!"

"Are you though?" The words came out of my mouth before my mind could even process them. His eyes instantly shot up to mine, his worry soon getting replaced by the same rage the had owned only a few days earlier in my bedroom.

After I had spoken I realised all eyes were on me. And when I say all, I mean Elise, Adeline, Caleb, Niall, Zayn, Parker and Liam's. For that reason, it felt like time had stopped. None of them had expected for me to speak to him and to be frank, neither had I—nor Harry. It seemed that all of us—even Elise—had suddenly forgotten about the potentially damaged laptop in the blonde girl's arms. Everyone was waiting for Harry to speak.

"No. I'm not sorry."

I clenched my jaw. "Then maybe I'm not the only one with a giant fucking ego."

Harry creased his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That maybe you should think twice before jumping someone else's bones the first thing you do after leaving me!"

The fact that we were in public didn't  even concern me anymore. Not even the sound of Adeline gasping made me snap out of the world that was between only me and Harry. I was so fixed on getting my word heard that I had automatically got up from my chair while shouting my previous sentence. I felt like I was boiling when I listened to his response.

"As if it matters to you! You don't even care! You told me!"

"Of course it fucking matters!" I spat, my face red with anger. "You know it matters but you don't give a shit!"

"You told me to leave! What did you expect me to do? Come crawling back and beg for more?!"

"No! I didn't expect you to do anything! I didn't mean what I said, I was just pissed at you for saying all those things and it slipped! I never wanted you to leave! I was angry at myself!"

"Boys, this is a library!"

The third voice made me snap me out of the argument, seeing it was the librarian who had cut me off. My chest was still rising and shrinking due to my heavy breathing when I slowly sat down in my chair again to observe how everyone around the table was in complete shock. How could they not be? I had subtly (almost) declared my love for the one person most of them thought I hated.

After Harry and his friends had left the area it was time for the hearing to begin. My friends (all except Niall) were throwing questions as if they were darts and I was the target. They were quick, harsh and hard for me to answer. Truth be told, every question also felt like a dart to my chest because thinking about him hurt on the inside. Especially when they asked things like this:

"Why would you do that to him if you actually cared?"

It stung inside me.

"Wait, let me get this straight. Harry Styles is the guy you've been seeing in secret?" Elise phrased, allowing me to embarrassingly nod in response. "And for how long has this been going on?"

I clenched my jaw. "Six weeks."

Adeline nearly choked on air. "Six weeks?!"

Elise dropped in. "Are you serious?!"

"It's not a big deal."

"Bullshit!" she scoffed. "You like each other! A whole fucking lot, it seems!"

"So what?"

"So it's a big deal!"

"And what do you expect me to do?"

"Do something about it!"

Elise's and mine argument ended with me shaking my head and leaving the library to go back to my dorm and contemplate over the conversation that had just occurred.

...

The next day I had dark circles on my eyes because I had only slept one hour and was feeling like an actual piece of shit. Regardless, I still went to class and tried my best to focus on the lecture. After having left a half successful course I got back to my locker to drop off some of my stuff before heading for lunch. That was when it all went down.

The simple sound of the heels to his boots made me aware that it was him coming down the hall. My head snapped up to look at him only to find out he was marching directly in my direction. With my heart speeding up in my chest I slammed my locker shut and leant my back against it as I waited for him to confront me.

"When will you stop being such a fucking coward?" He was only inches away from me when he spat those words at my face. It was clear that he had been holding them in and waited for the time he was going to be able to use them against me. He growled, "When will you ever stand up for yourself? Huh?!"

My face scrunched up. "I do stand up for myself!"

"Then why are you hiding?! Why won't you ever admit to the truth?!"

"I did do that yesterday!"

"No, you fucking didn't!"

"Yes, I did! I told you I was wrong!"

"That doesn't explain anything to me! You don't talk to me! How am I supposed to know how you feel?!"

"You don't fucking talk to me either!"

"That doesn't make a difference! You already know I'm madly in love with you!"

My whole world stopped for five seconds—and apparently, so did everybody else's. The entire corridor that was usually clouded with noise had dimmed down and fallen into complete and utter silence. The only thing I could hear was low mumbles and Harry's heavy breathing as he glared into my eyes with pure angst and irritation oozing from his mouth and nostrils. Nothing in that gaze could stop me from feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry!" I finally burst.

He shook his head. "No." He scoffed unhumorously. "You're not sorry. You played me like a fucking toy and I let you, because that's how much I care! I'm so hypnotised by you that I would do anything just to make you feel pleased, even if that means hurting myself in the process! Do you know how sick that is?"

"Harry–"

"Do you know how sick that is?!"

"Yes! I do! And I'm fucking sorry for that! I truly–"

"You don't give a shit! If you did you would've done something about it!"

"Will you listen to me?!"

Harry sighed, his eyebrows scrunching together forcefully. He was so pissed and I knew I needed to do whatever it took to turn his mood around. Seeing him like that made me want to go back in time and fix everything—but I couldn't do that. I had to make the best of the situation and that was why I took a step closer to Harry, grabbed his arms to cease him in place and tried my best to explain myself.

"I didn't realise what I was doing. I was stupid for stringing you along. I never thought it would end up like this, and if I did, I would've done everything differently."

"You're lying!" he cried, pushing my hands off his arms. "You knew exactly what you were doing but you didn't care! You stayed because having me close was beneficial for your fucking ego!"

"No! Stop fucking staying that!"

"I won't! I don't believe you for a second! It doesn't make sense that you would go around for weeks without feeling a thing and then finally when you lose me everything is suddenly crystal clear! I get that you've realised your mistake now that I'm gone, but it doesn't matter because you're not fucking clear-headed, and you're not even close to being a decent guy for not realising what you did wrong earlier!"

"I did realise–"

"Stop trying! It's not gonna work! I don't trust you!"

"You can't even let me explain myself!"

"There's nothing to explain! You broke my heart! It's that fucking simple!"

"I didn't mean to–"

Harry forcefully pushed me into my locker, causing half the corridor to gasp in surprise. He growled, "You're heartless" and a lump formed in my throat. "Don't speak to me ever again."

...