I never saw it coming. The day that ruined everything.

I had texted Ryuzo six times since our run-in with his superiors and the boss. No answer. He was too busy. Most likely he had to avoid sending me messages to keep me hidden, but it still bothered me.

All I wanted to do was tell him I had extended my contract, that I would be with him for longer than planned, and be able to discuss what that would mean for us.

Coming home from work the next night, it was the same as any other night. Ryuzo was working at the entrance of the club. I hadn't seen it as busy as that, but knowing the oyabun was in town, it made sense.

The red neon glowed over the homogenous crowd, everyone well-dressed in expensive suits and fur coats. It was a noir film crossed with cyberpunk. The only thing more distracting was the look on Ryuzo's face.

The melancholy shadow that hadn't been there in months was heavy on his face, dulling the usual flame behind his eyes. It was as if that fire went out completely, leaving him dark and hollow beneath the neon red glow.

I wanted to pull him away from that place, save him from the torment, do anything it took to bring his beautiful smile back.

Too many days passed. After work, I could barely squeeze through the crowd to make it to my gate. He was on the stairs nearest the restaurant doors. It took a moment to catch his attention, but I did.

The way he looked at me . . . It was as if the past few months hadn't happened and he had regressed to the despondent man I first saw. People gathered on the steps behind him, a crowd taking their time going inside. He greeted some as they passed, speaking the way one does with familiar people.

It took a while for him to look at me again. When he did, I cocked my head to the side to question what was going on. He stared back, a look of muted misery — maybe a longing for me, maybe just a longing to leave. He turned away when the next guest called his attention.

It wasn't the time.

. . .

At work, the time passed slowly while my mind would't let go of my worries. "Something up, love?" Kat drew my attention back to the room.

Cleaning and prepping the bed for our next patient was busy work and didn't help to get my mind off the situation. "Sorry. I'm out of it today."

"Have you told your mans about your contract extension yet?" she asked in her clairvoyant way.

"No. Shit keeps getting in the way. It's like the universe is trying to tell me to keep it to myself."

An emergency phone call and the oyabun showing up while I was trying to give him my news was a hard sign to ignore. I rubbed my finger over the necklace hidden beneath my shirt. I had to tell him today, no matter how available he was for more news. 

"You can't text him?"

"I wanted to tell him face-to-face but . . . I don't know if I'll have a choice," I admitted.

"Hmm," she hummed with a judgemental tone. I was lucky she turned from me before the disdain reached my face. Meanwhile, her expression also changed when she looked up. "Hello, Ayumi."

I found her standing beside us. Her usually chipper tone was flat. "Tanaka-sensei needs your help in room 3," she said to Kat.

"Of course." Kat bowed and left.

"Ayumi, where do you need me?" When she didn't answer me, I assumed it was my punishment for speaking English. "Do you . . . need my help?" I said in choppy Japanese.

Ayumi glanced at me, then followed Kat. Was everyone in a bad mood, or had I done something wrong? Being suddenly shunned by everyone around me felt eerily similar to what I had left behind.

"Ayumi, is something wrong?" I asked.

She was too expressive to hide her mood. "Do you know who that man is? The one who picked you up."

I paused. The direct nature of her question made me cautious. "Yes. Do you?"

"I do not know who he is, but I know what he is." She crossed her arms again. "Did you not listen when I told you to stay away from them?"

It wasn't any of her business, and nothing I could tell her anyway. "I was already with him when you told me that." I hoped a lie would help my cause and my mood. "He keeps me away from everything he does. I'm not involved."

Ayumi shook her head. "Mina-chan, I thought you were smarter than that. Nothing good comes from the Yakuza. Nothing. Leave him while you can. Before he hurts you."

I couldn't leave him. Even if I wanted to.

. . .

I called Ryuzo when I left work, and called him again when I got off the train in Shinjuku. He was gone when I arrived home, likely inside entertaining guests again. I would give him one last chance to tell him in person, then I would have to leave it in a message.

Like a stalker, I waited in the rain outside his house the next day, standing by the gate, hoping to catch him on his way to the restaurant. Susu sat in the upstairs window, meowing at me through the glass. I saw him behind her, pulling on his suit jacket. I waited, and when the gate opened, it was as if he was somewhere else.

"Ryuzo!" I called his attention.

He looked up with surprise. "Mina-chan. Why are you here?"

"I don't know. Maybe because you haven't answered your phone in almost a fucking week." That came out meaner than I wanted. His eyes fell with shame. "What is going on?"

"Oyabun is back."

"I know. But why does that mean you can't return my calls when you're at home?"

His lips parted for words he didn't speak, then they closed into a flat line. He looked pained to turn away from me, but it didn't stop him.

The rain was ruining my hairstyle, but I chased after him. "Zo-chan, what happened? What did he say to you?" I watched his eyes stay fixed ahead of him, no intent to answer. "Baby, talk to me. What is going on?"

Finally, he stopped. "It doesn't matter what he said."

"It seems like it does."

His face twitched with anger. "He reminded me there is no place for outsiders in the organization. I cannot be seen with you again."

"Outsiders?"

I could read between the lines. The words weren't repeatable because they were words about me Ryuzo would never say. It was the risk you always run when dating someone of a different race, but it was a different brand in a place as homogeneous and traditional as Japan.

"Your boss doesn't want you to be with me, or he doesn't want you to be with someone like me? A kokujinkei gaijin." A Black foreigner.

"There is no going against the oyabun," he said, avoiding the answer. "I told you I don't want to be part of this life. I don't want you to be part of it either."

"You don't want to be part of it, but you still do exactly what they want? You —" I cut myself off when it made sense. "Wait. What are you saying, Zo?"

He didn't answer. He just looked at me with dark, unreadable eyes.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

He didn't respond. A Ryuzo yes.

Reality clenched painfully in my chest. I couldn't breathe. Being rejected by the first man I ever truly loved made it feel like I was dying. I couldn't tell which pain brought tears to my eyes.

"Fuck you!" I spat. "I told you not to fucking lie to me!"

"Mina, I didn't —"

"Blame this on the oyabun all you want. I trusted you, even when you were everything people told me to avoid. You do exactly as they say and exactly what they expect, but you think you want out?" I seethed. "Keep lying to yourself, Yakuza." I stormed away.

"Mina, stop!" he called after me.

Against my better judgment, I did, but I didn't turn to face him.

His hands ran up my arms to my shoulders, leaving a painful chill along their path. He wrapped me up and pressed his lips against the nape of my neck.

"I love you," he whispered. The air left my lungs and didn't come back. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be doing this. Please understand."

I laughed through my tears. How long had I wanted to hear him say those words, and this was when he said it?

"I thought real men didn't like making women cry."

I pushed myself from his grasp and walked away. 

___

A/N: What is the real reason Ryuzo is pushing Mina away? How do you think Mina will spend the rest of her time in Tokyo?

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