My adrenaline rushed when I saw the knife. Unsheathed or not, the message was the same.

The man's pupils were wide, as if under the influence of something other than the desire to defend his turf. Ryuzo tucked me behind him, saying something to the man. He ignored Ryuzo's warning and flipped out the blade with a twisted smirk.

"Mina, leave us," Ryuzo said in a calm voice.

I pinned my lips between my teeth, fighting the protest that wanted to fly out of my mouth, but this was the line I knew I shouldn't cross. Still, my feet wouldn't move, and I knew why.

This wasn't the first time an incoherent man threatened someone I cared about and I just . . . stepped aside. Suddenly, I was back on the exterior hallway of that rundown apartment building, yelling at Vince over the stupid shit he had just admitted to me, the angry man arriving at his door when I left, me stepping aside, going back to my room, never to see Vince again.

"Mina," Ryuzo brought me back to the present.

I looked at him with hesitation, but did as he said.

My feelings were just projection — not applicable in this situation. Walking away wasn't what got Vince killed, I told myself. Walking away won't get Ryuzo killed, either.

I didn't get far, only to the end of our path. Safely shielded behind the corner of a building, I watched and listened, ready to run back the second things went south.

The man continued to mouth off while Ryuzo stood unaffected, like a mouthy rookie attempting to intimidate the heavyweight champ before the fight. But the champ is the champ for a reason.

In a flurry, Ryuzo grabbed the man's arm, knocked him off balance, and flipped him over his back and onto the ground. The large man fell hard, an impact from which most people would not easily recover. Ryuzo stomped on the man's wrist, making him drop the blade, then kicked it away.

"Do you know who I am?" I heard Ryuzo ask the man. He pulled his collar aside, revealing something on his chest.

When the man stood to go after Ryuzo again, his companion ran over, stopping him with two hands on his chest. He pushed him back, barked angry words at him, then pointed at Ryuzo.

In an instant, the man changed his demeanor, lowered his sleeve, and bowed in apology. "Forgive me, I didn't know."

Ryuzo looked the apologetic thug up and down, then tossed a response to the other. "You will handle this?"

"Yes. Sorry again."

Ryuzo strolled away as if nothing happened, throwing another glare over his shoulder.

He came to me. A small gasp of surprise left him when I crashed into him, wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him close. He melted into me, returning my embrace.

"Everything is fine," he said in a gentle tone.

"I know," I said, my wavering voice sounding less convincing than I meant.

. . .

The rest of the walk back to the hotel had been quiet, but my mind had been loud. He took me in through the back entrance again, adding to my soured mood. While he showered and changed clothes, I made a decision.

He walked out of the bathroom, shirtless, pants on but unfastened, drying his hair vigorously with a towel. When he spotted me packing my bag, he froze. "Mina-chan? What are you doing?"

I tore my eyes away. "I'm going home."

"What? Why?"

The answer to that wasn't clear to me either. I kept packing rather than answering.

"This is about earlier?" He came to my side. "Please don't leave because you are upset with me. I was trying to protect you."

"And I told you I don't need you to do that."

"What did you want me to do? Did you expect me to let him hurt you?"

"No, Zo. I was afraid you would let him hurt you."

"Mina-chan, I wasn't in danger. I . . ." He chewed on his words, then sighed. "You know what family i am in. Our territory in Tokyo is very important and very profitable, and we are allied with the largest family who we visit in Nagoya. Attacking one of us would start a war no one wants."

While that information answered many questions I hadn't planned to ask, it didn't calm my fears. "I didn't know that. But even if it had, it doesn't change what you did."

He stared at me beneath a brow furrowed with confusion. An appropriate response.

"You told me to walk away and it triggered me. I know my reaction may seem out of context, but if you knew what happened . . ."

The wrinkle in his brow grew deeper. "What happened when? I don't understand."

The clusterfuck of bad memories should have come out as tears, but the irony made me smile. Telling Ryuzo, an assumed criminal, about my past as an assumed criminal, was ironic as hell.

I pulled him to sit with me on the bed. Worry tinted his look of confusion. He held both of my hands in his as if trying to keep me from running away, all while I was afraid he'd run after I told him.

"I'm only telling you this because I know you've done things you had to do, even though you didn't want to, right?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Do you remember when we first met? What I said my name was?"

"Za'mina."

I nodded. It was nice to hear it after so long, even with his inflection. "Right. Za'mina Bastille is my real name. I had it changed because when people heard it, they'd know who I was. And what happened."

"What happened?"

Hesitation choked me again. "I was sent to jail. For murder."

He blinked. "What?"

"When I told you I didn't have anyone waiting for me back home . . . It's because the last friend I had was Vince, and he was killed." It hurt to talk about, and I realized it was because I had never talked about it. Since it happened, my life had been dedicated to not talking about it. "We grew up on the same street as kids and reconnected after I graduated college. He was the one who encouraged me to sell my pictures, because he had been doing something similar for a while. But . . . he lied to me."

"About what?"

"I had known he was bisexual since we were kids, but being a Black man, that wasn't really accepted by a lot of the people we grew up with." I paused to gauge Ryuzo's reaction.

His brows furrowed. "He was killed for that?"

"Yes and no," I answered honestly. "I thought he was just selling pictures like me, but he wasn't. He was selling everything. Videos, sex . . . and drugs. The night it happened, I found out what he was doing and I got so mad. We had a fight, and I said horrible things to him." Tears came to my eyes for so many reasons. Sadness, anger, regret. "One of his clients showed up when I was leaving. He looked pissed off, like he wanted to hurt Vince, and I just . . . stepped aside."

Saying that made me hate myself all over again. Only Ryuzo's thumbs brushing over the tops of my fingers gave me enough courage to finish.

"That night, I heard the yelling coming from his apartment, but I was mad at him. I didn't know what happened until the cops showed up at my job the next day and arrested me."

"You? Did you not tell them who it was?"

"I told them about the man, but I couldn't describe him well. The only way I could steer them to the right person was if I snitched and told them what he had been doing for money — outing him to his family and the world when he had lived his whole life keeping it a secret. I couldn't do that to him. So, I sat in jail and waited until they found the man on their own."

Ryuzo turned my head to make me look at him. "That's honorable, Mina."

I laughed. "Is it?"

"Yes. Protecting someone, even in death."

A tear slipped from my eye, leaving a warm trail down my cheek. Ryuzo wiped it away and replaced it with a kiss. I shouldn't have been surprised. There was a code for people like us who toed the line of morality. Family. Loyalty. Death before dishonor.

"You cannot put me in that position again," I warned him. "Do not expect me to walk away instead of protecting someone I care about."

That little flame burned behind his eyes while he looked at me with adoration. "Okay."

"I know it's irrational, but that's why I get so upset when you're hurt," I told him. "You trusted me enough to tell me you want out, so now you have to let me help you stay safe while doing so. I don't want to lose someone else. Especially not you."

A smile twitched on his lips.

"I'm dead serious, Zo."

"I know." He put on a stern face. "I know." He was teasing.

I shoved his shoulder lightly. "You're an ass."

He laughed, lightening the mood. As annoyed as I wanted to be, I found myself smiling.

"Do you still want to go back to Tokyo?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

He pulled me to him, making me straddle his lap. He held me by the nape of my neck and placed a delicious, sultry kiss on my lips. The amount of warmth it sent through my body was simply undignified.

His lips pried from mine slowly. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes."

He lifted me and rolled me onto my back. He spread my thighs with his and settled his hips between them. On his hands, he stared down at me with that alluring look, his inky hair falling into his face, the muscles of his tattooed body flexed from his shoulders down to the V barely shielded by his open fly.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

. . .

I had let him try to persuade me to stay — and enjoyed it thoroughly while he did — but my mind was made up. I needed to be back in my comfort zone and let him do what he needed to do.

He sat next to me on the train, staring at me while he lounged like a panther who had eaten more than his fill. I hoped most of what I was feeling was post-orgasm chemicals and not actual feelings, but the more time that passed, the harder it got to convince myself that's all it was. The lazy smile painted on his face made it feel as if he saw me even more than before.

More than the girl across the street he was dying to greet, more than the woman he gets to see naked and fuck like he's never fucked before . . . It was as if another wall was gone.

"Stop it," I laughed at him.

"Stop what?" he teased, already knowing the answer.

"When you look at me like that, it makes me think you like me."

He hummed. "But I do like you."

"Stop."

"What?" he laughed.

The PA announced the next stop. Nagoya. We frowned at the same time, which made us laugh again. He brushed the back of his fingers against my smiling cheek, then he leaned closer.

To my surprise, he kissed me. We were relatively tucked away in the plush seats of the near-empty train, but it still felt exhibitionist.

After each gentle, lingering kiss, he placed another on my lips. I had to put my thumb between us to stop him. He looked at me with a pout. "We're not in the hotel anymore, baby."

He pulled my hand away with a growly hum and kissed me again.

How did I get to this place? Pretending I wanted something freeing, temporary, lying to myself that it wasn't that deep. But every time he was with me — every time he let me in — I grew more obsessed with him.

As we kissed, reality ceased to exist. I only felt the train slowing to a stop when his lips left mine.

He peered at me with that smile again. I sighed to shake off the electricity on my skin and calm my pattering heart.

"Come back to Tokyo soon, okay?"

"I will," he said. "See you, Mina."

"See you, Ryuzo."

He left. I saw him looking for me on the platform. His eyes caught mine just as the train ramped up its speed.

At full pace, I couldn't give into the blur and desire to sleep the way I had before. There was too much swirling through my mind.

I stared through the window, looking at places I never imagined I would see. Places I probably wouldn't have seen if those horrible events hadn't happened. The bare winter trees gained hints of white, pink, and green. Houses with dark tiled roofs framed the view of the distant yet towering volcano.

I was as far from Georgia as I could have been, yet I felt more at home. Finding someone who shared my fears and desires so perfectly was inexplicable, so I stopped trying to explain it.

No thoughts, just volcanos, trees, houses . . . and Ryuzo.

When I gained reception again, my phone vibrated in my bag. An email from work. The subject line read plainly.

CONTRACT EXTENSION

Curious, I opened it. The last paragraph gave me the information I needed.

Staffing was still short in the area. They offered to extend my current contract for another six months before assigning my next placement. I had two weeks to decide.

The first thought that came to my mind was the wrong one.

_____

A/N: Thank you for reading! Don't forget to add this story to your library and follow me for update alerts!