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The next two days felt like an eternity for Teju. She carried on with her daily routine, managing her work and shoot schedules, but her mind frequently wandered to the precious secret she held. On the third day, as usual, Teju went to shoot ..She had to shoot for her upcoming music video.. The song was lively and energetic that required numerous dance steps... She was tensed about the baby and also about the test result..

Teju in her mind : Kadavule, ithu enna enaku vantha sothanai ( Bhagwaan, ye kya daram sankat hai).. Aaj hi muje ye MV ka shoot schedule honi hai kya?.. Kuch din pehle hota toh acha hota.. Abh mai kaise dance karungi?.. First trimester mai dance karna safe hai ya nahi voh kaise pata karungi?.. Hmm. Google karti hun..par kya voh true facts hai?.. Haa.. Safe hi hoga.. But I have heard people saying that a lady should be careful during her initial months of pregnancy.. I have to be safe.. Mana karti hun iss mv ko..

Teju went and informed her changed decision to Appu, who listened intently but raised concerns about breaching the contract with the production house.

Appu : Teju, Tuje achese pata hai ye MV bohot important hai.. big production house hai baba..  Aise last minute pe cancel karegi toh bohot problems hoga..

Teju : I understand Appu .. par...kuch cheez hai jiske vajase main aaj mana karrahi hun.. it's about my health and...

Appu sensing Teju's hesitation, insisted her to give a valid reason..

Appu : Hume strong reason chahiye Teju..They are quite strict.. Shooting keliye sab arrangements karchuke hein.. Abh aake hum mana karrahe hein toh unko ek valid explanation dena padega.. I can understand, tuje periods hai, issliye tu soch rahi hai.. But can't you reconsider and manage the shoot with some modifications?.. Sirf thodi der keliye

Teju couldn't able to find a suitable reason..Since she had already signed the contract, she had to do this mv.. No other option was left with her..Teju sighed..

Teju : acha thik hai.. Mai dekhti hun

Appu : sorry Teju, I can't help you in this..

Teju : It's ok baba.. 

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Teju was getting ready in her outfit.. She looked at herself in the mirror.. Her hand went to her abdomen..

Teju in her mind : muje nahi pata hai ki aap hai ya nahi.. Reports positive hai ya nahi voh bhi nahi pata hai.. But agar positive hai toh baby, aap please safe rehna.. Mumma jaanboojhkar aapko kabhi hurt nahi karungi.. Ye MV karni hi padegi.. Maine koshish ki cancel karne ko, but mujse nahi hua.. Iss baar aap please safe rehna.. Aapke aane tak mai koi bhi aise projects nahi lungi promise.. Please iss baar safe rehna.. Muje aapke Papa ko bhi batana hai..

Sharadha saw her thinking something holding her abdomen.. She went and shook her..

Sharadha : Aap thik hai na.. Aapke pet dard karra hai kya?

Teju : Nahi nahi.. Aise hi.. Kuch soch rahi thi..

Sharadha : acha thik hai.. Chaliye..

Teju took a deep breath, as if reassuring herself and the unborn life she carried. With one last glance at the mirror, she left for the shoot..

Upon arriving at the set, the atmosphere was vibrant, with the crew setting up lights and cameras, preparing for the shoot. Teju, however, was preoccupied with her thoughts, discreetly searching for reliable sources on her phone to gather information that would guide her decision.

The set buzzed with activity, but Teju, was engrossed in her research, seeking assurance that her actions wouldn't harm the growing life inside her. After going through various articles and medical opinions, Teju found information that reassured her about the safety of dancing during the initial stages of pregnancy, as long as she took precautions and avoided excessive strain. 

Feeling relieved, she decided to proceed with the shoot.  

Her choreographer, eager to capture the energy of the song, began teaching her the steps. Teju, mindful of her condition, tried to dance with a lighter touch.  But she was asked to dance with force..  As the practice session progressed, the choreographer noticed her efforts and expressed a bit of dissatisfaction...

Choreographer : Yaar, thoda aur lively karna.. Ye energy song keliye kami hai.. I'm expecting a lot..

Teju :  Haan, main samajh rahi hun..  I'll try to match the energy you're looking for.

Since dance is her passion and she loves to dance perfectly, she started giving her 100 percent. The disappointed choreographer witnessed a transformation in Tejasswi's approach. She began to dance with renewed vigor and commitment, channeling all her energy into the performance..

The set, once filled with a sense of tension, now echoed with the beat of the lively song and Teju's spirited dance. Her dedication and the joy she found in dancing seemed to overshadow any previous concerns. The choreographer, now pleased with the change, guided her through the steps, capturing the essence of the vibrant music video.

Forgetting about her pregnancy, she indulged in her dancing. After 6 hours of continuous practice and shoot, she came back to her vanity, feeling exhausted. As she entered the quiet space of her vanity room, the reality of the situation slowly crept back into her mind.

Teju sat down, taking a moment to catch her breath. She removed her heels, pressed her legs which was paining a little.. As the adrenaline from the dance began to subside, the fatigue and the awareness of her pregnancy settled in.

Teju in her mind : Oh god, ye maine kya kardiya? I got so carried away with the dance that I almost forgot about the little one inside me... Bappa, please mere bache ko kuch mat hone dena..

She had a glass of water and lay down on the couch in the vanity.. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax, contemplating the events of the day. The dance had taken a toll on her, both physically and emotionally. 

Teju in her mind : Iske baad mai aise koi bhi project nahi lungi..I need to be more mindful. It's not just about me anymore. I have a little life growing inside, and I must prioritize its safety... Baby, I'm sorry If I have hurt you

Slowly exhaustion took over and she took a nap for 2 hours..

Feeling immense pain on her lower stomach, she got up from her nap.. Her fears striked her about the pregnancy..She rushed to the washroom and found herself bleeding a little..

Teju in her mind : why I am bleeding?.. Oh shit.. No no.. Please.. Please God.. Don't do this to me.. No Teju.. Kuch nahi.. Sirf thoda hi toh bleed hua.. Let me go to the hospital.. Baby ko kuch nahi hoga..

Fighting back tears, she tried to compose herself. Teju came out and packed her things and asked Ajmal bhai to bring remaining things to her home.. She booked a cab and went to hospital, heading straight to the doctor's cabin..

The doctor, sensing Teju's distress, looked up from the medical reports.

Doctor: Tejasswi, come in. Sit down.

Teju, with teary eyes, sat down..She explained everything to the doctor..

Doctor : Tejasswi, Maine bola tha na aapko.. Reports aane tak wait karne keliye.. Aapne reports nahi dekha kya?.. Maine mail bhi ki thi.. You have to be very careful in your first trimester.. Maine ek do's and don'ts list bhi send kiya tha.. Usme first line hi No Dance tha..

Teju : I didn't check the mail, doctor.. Muje bohot dar lagra hai.. Can you please check the baby?.. Mujhe lower abdomen me pain bhi hori hai..

Doctor : usually, light pains hota hai kyunki aapke tissues stretch hote hein baby ke growth ke vajase.. Par aapka toh 50 days hi hua hai.. Isliye muje bhi doubt hai.. Ek scan karte hein.. Usme pata chalega aapke baby kaise hai..

The doctor led Teju to the ultrasound room, where she underwent a scan.. Doctor was not happy with the results. She asked the nurse to send the report immediately..

Teju : sab thik haina?

Doctor : Tejasswi, I'm really sorry to say.. Your baby is miscarried.. Aapko isliye bleeding hui kyunki aapka baby.. Samaj rahe ho na.. In medical terms, hum usko Incomplete Miscarriage bolte hain.. Aapko jab thodasa bleeding hua, uspe aapka fetus tissues pura baar nahi aaya hain.. Abhi bhi kuch tissues hai andhar.. Your body will automatically try to push them out.. Tab aapko aur bhi bleeding hoga.. It takes time.. Agar aap chahe toh hum usko remove karne keliye treatment de sakte hein..

Teju sat in the cold, sterile room, the words of the doctor echoing in her mind. The air felt heavy, and she clutched the edge of the examination bed for support. Her heart, which had once danced with the joy of an impending motherhood, now sank to the depths of despair.

As the reality of the miscarriage settled in, Teju's eyes welled up with tears, threatening to spill over. She felt a lump forming in her throat, making it difficult to breathe.  Her fear becomes true.. Listening miscarriage word from the doctor broke her completely.. Her mind was constantly repeating her the same sentence, i.e "You killed your baby for your project"..

Her sobs, once restrained, now erupted into the silence of the room. It was a gut-wrenching cry, a lament for the loss of a life that had barely begun. The tears flowed freely, carrying the weight of dreams that would never materialize. In that moment, Teju felt utterly alone, grappling with the harsh reality that her choices had forever altered the course of her life. The doctor was trying to console her, but Teju was in her thoughts.. Her subconscious bombarded her with multiple questions for which she had no answers..

Teju in her mind : Ek project keliye maine apne baby ko maar diya.. Enala thaan elamey (sab kuch mere vajase hua hai) .. I killed my baby.. Voh chota sa baby ko kitna pain hua hoga.. Haa.. Sunny, Sunny ko kya bolungi.. Ye baat jaan ke voh kitna hurt feel karega. Sabkuch mere vajase horaha hai.. Maine naa Appa ko bachaya naa apni baby ko.. I'm losing everyone in my life.. Baby, I'm sorry.. I'm not a good mother.. I couldn't save you.. 2 din, 2 din bhi mai aapko safe nahi kar payi, main kaisi maa hun?.. Maa banne keliye layak hi nahi hun..

The doctor shaked her and brought her from her thoughts.. She consoled the crying Tejasswi and asked her to take treatment to remove the remaining tissues..

Teju agreed to take the treatment and was admitted to the hospital.. She undergone the surgical treatment to remove the tissues.. The treatment was not complicated.. She was asked to have a tablet before the surgery.. Then, the doctors used the MVA process.. It took a few hours to complete.. Since she could bear the pain, anesthesia was not given to her.. After a few hours the tissues were removed.. She took some rest and the next day afternoon she discharged from the hospital..

Reaching home, she was bombarded by her parents as she had not answered anyone's calls the whole day.. She told them that she was tired and took some rest in the vanity itself.. Looking at her tired face, they asked her to take rest.. Over the next week, she was having heavy bleeding, both physically and mentally.. She cut off her talk with others and maintained distance from everyone..

She started blaming her for the loss and that's when she accompanied Td to the hospital.. Sudharshan uncle informed her about TD's last stage.. She was again broken.. Her closed ones are going away from her and she couldn't do anything about it. She cried and cried for everything happening to her..She felt unlucky and took a difficult decision.  In an attempt to shield her loved ones from the storm of tragedies surrounding her, she chose to distance herself from Karan and his family. In her mind, staying away meant sparing them from the darkness that seemed to follow her..

END OF FLASHBACK

Teju narrated everything she gone through in the past 1 month.. While narrating this, she couldn't bring herself to meet Karan's eyes as she was afraid to see hatred and disappointment in his eyes.. Both were crying..

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In the pursuit of ambitions, she unknowingly scripted a tragedy, prioritizing the spotlight over the silent heartbeat that faded away in the shadows.

Galti huyi toh maaf kardena

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Published on 27/01/2024

Pooja Mouli