Bleeding Heart

Hello loves!

Surprised to see me back so soon? But sadly abhi permanently nahi wapis aayi hoon but I am really really happy today and I really wanted to share a news with you all, since you all are like family to me.

So I have my graduation day coming up soon and  aapki author has topped and won the Gold medal for her stream.

Abb iss khushkhabari par mithai toh nahi bat sakti aap sab ko but yes ek update toh zarur de sakti hu. Toh ye lijiye aapka update.

Irony : Main khush hu par chapter bohot dukhi hein.. :/

~~~

" Don't touch me.. "

I said with hatred dripping in my voice.

He knew I loved his brother, then how could he marry me?

Maybe he did something. Ishita was right, it's Veeranshu's fault.

All these thoughts were filled in my mind as tears continuously stained my cheeks.

"Bani beta ismein Veer ki galati nahi, iss shadi ke liye maine usse kasam di. Kasam di ki woh mana nahi karega aur tera haath thamega.. "

Papa.. No Mr Balwant Singhania said.
After what he put me through. I could'nt call him my Dad.

"Aur kisne diya ye haq aapko? Meri zindagi ka itna bada faisla bina meri marzi ke lene ke liye? "

I said with my eyes red with tears and anger.

"Beta uss waqt halat hi aese hogaye the.. Baraat ko kaisa lautata.. Log na jane kaisi kaisi batein karte tere barein main... ".

Mr Singhania said.

" Main koi kharida saman nahi hu Mr Singhania, ek bhai ko pasand nahi aaya toh dusre ko man beh lane ko de diya.. "

I said in a venomous tone. What they did was wrong. Without talking to me how could they do this?

"Bani .. "

Bela bhabhi said as she handed a sleeping Mihu to Mahir bhai.

"Nahi Bhabhi.. Inn logon ne jo kiya hein uska koi justification nahi. Mujhe apne ghar wapis jana hein. Pata nahi papa ko pata chalega toh kya hoga.. "

I said holding my head. Imagining my dad to be even more sad and heart broken than me.

Konsa pita shadi ke pehele hi din apni beti ko iss haal main dekhna chahega.?

I started moving towards the gate as I slightly got sight of Veeranshu who looked lifeless. He didn't have any expression on his face. His eyes red with unshed tears.

I didn't like him being like that. Even after everything, I didn't like seeing people in pain.

People or your husband specifically? My heart said.

He is not and will never be my husband. My mind reiterated.

I was about to cross the chaukahat of the door when I heard something even more shocking.

"Tej ko sab pata hein. "

Mr Singhania said and my feet stopped.

I was shocked would be an understatement.

No this can't be true.

My dad can never do this to me.

"You are lying.. "

I said slowly turning towards them.

"I know you are upset with us Beta and it's fair. We should have spoken to you about this but.. We thought it's for the best. It's not even Tej's fault. I told him that if he trusts me even a bit then he should consider it... "

Mr Singhania said.

So he chose his friend over his daughter.

He chose the society over his daughter.

I stood there with a stoic expression.

Tears stopped falling from my eyes.I fell on my knees.

"BANI...! "

Bela bhabhi moved towards me.

Kabhi kabhi dard itna badh jata hein ki aasun bhi uske samne kaam pad jate hein.

"Bani main janti hu tum naraz ho par sambhalo khudko.. "

Bhabhi said with concern in her tone.

"Jab apne pita ne hi sath chod diya ho toh dusro se kya shikayat karna.. "

I said blankly. Bhabhi picked me up.

"Please take her to her room.. "

Mr Singhania said.

I didn't look at Veeranshu. I just couldn't. Looking at him was like refreshing my wounds.

My heart was bleeding . Since childhood  the love in which I believed had failed me today.

Mera pyar har gaya aur main bhi...

Bhabhi took me upstairs . My eyes wandered to a room as we crossed it. And it didn't take me even a minute to guess whose room it was.

It was Teer's room. The room had dark colours and the black bed was decorated with red petals . Luminous candles were all around the room as well. I felt a pang in my heart.

This was supposed to be our room but.. No.. No.. There is nothing called "our " Anymore.

The moment Teeranshu ditched me everything was over.

But what about the love in your heart? My heart questioned.

How could he throw everything away?

Did our conversations mean nothing to him?

Did I mean nothing to him?

My mind and heart were asking me thousand questions.

We finally reached the room. I lifted my eyes to look at it.

And to my surprise the room looked like my dream room.

The room had light pastel colours in it while a wall had lilies painted over them.
It looked as if it was perfectly made for me.

But I scoffed listening to my own thoughts.

Nobody is doing anything for me. Everyone is selfish.

Dad did this for his friendship and Mr Singhania for his reputation.

Veeranshu did it for his family and Teeranshu he ran away like a coward for his own selfish means.

Where was I in all of this? Was my opinion considered by any one of them?
The answer was a big NO.

"Bani.. Bacha main janti hu joh bhi hua galat hua. Aur main tumhe kisiko bhi maaf karne nahi kahungi par haan bas itna zarur tumhe kehna chahti hu ki iss sab main Veer ki galati nahi hein. Uss Ladke ne aaj tak Maa aur papa ki koi baat nahi tali. Apni khushiyon ko marna pade toh bhi woh unki baat man leta hein. Woh aesa hi hein. Please usse iska kusurwar mat man na. "

Bhabhi said and I didn't know why but I felt angry.

" Toh kisne kaha usse bhabhi apni khushiyon lo marne mujhse shadi karke...? Aapko Veeranshu ki khushiyan marti dikh rahi hein par meri bharose ko marte nahi dekh rahi hein aap? Mere pyar ko marte nahi dekh rahi hein aap? "

I said being a little agitated.

" Tum galat samjh rahi ho Bani.. Mera matlab woh.. "

Bela bhabhi said as I interrupted.

"Bhabhi main akele rehena chahti hu.. "

I said not looking at her.

"Take care Bani. Galati ho toh mujhe Badi behen man kar maaf kar dena.. "

She said feebly and my heart dropped listening to her tone. I hurt her. I knew she didn't mean it like that. But I don't know why I am not able to handle this pain and this anger.

Kitni ajeeb baat hein na, jab hum dard main hote hein toh dard dene wala se zyada taqleef hum apne apnon ko de baithte hein.

Shayad aaj maine bhi kuch aisa hi kiya tha.

She left and I sat on the bed.

Tears started rolling down my eyes.

Today was not supposed to be like this. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. The happiest day for the families but instead everybody were hurt.

"Why God why? Why did this happen to me? "

I said  and fell on my knees. I brought my knees closer and rested my head on it.

"Aaj Maa ki bohot yaad aa rahi thi. Unki God main sar rakhkar rone ka man kar raha tha."

I said as more tears poured from my eyes. My silent cries now turned into loud sobs. My body was trembling. I really wanted to scream.

Suddenly I saw the thunderstorm. I looked outside the window as the raindrops started falling on the ground.

Toofan aane wala tha. Par meri zindagi toh pehele se hi ujar chuka thi. 

Since childhood I always dreamt about a perfect love story. And here I was stuck in a loveless marriage . A compromise.

Moreover I never thought everybody would not even consider taking my opinion on a thing that would impact my life so much.

I know it was not Veeranshu's fault. He was a victim just like me. I knew I shouldn't blame him as well. In anger I did think that blaming everything on him could sooth this sense of betrayal.

But as the layers of anger fell down with my tears and my vulnerability and pain got exposed. I realised how wrong that thought was.

If anyone was at fault it was both the Dad's.

And above all it was Teeranshu Singhania.

If he didn't love me, why did he lie to me? Why did he do all those sweet talks? Why did he allow me to break all my walls and be bare infront of him spiritually.

No matter what happened but I can't hurt innocent people. I already hurt Bela bhabhi and even wanted to hurt Veeranshu .How could I think of this. I can't stoop so low like others.

But I will also not lie to him. Bitter truth is better than sweet deception.

I can never love Veeranshu.

Maybe I am old school but for me love happens only once and I had already loved someone with all I had.

And after this betrayal, I doubt if I could love anyone ever.

My tears dried, I felt like my head was way tok heavy and my eyes we're puffy. My eyes suddenly wandered to the table where a drink was kept.

I had never drank before but people always say that it takes pain away. And right now that was what I wanted exactly.

~~~

After sometime I heard footsteps. I felt drowsy but light headed at the same time. I still felt a pain in my chest but at the same time instead of sad moments, the happy moments of my life were moving in front of my eyes.

My happy moments with my Mom.
Our Perfect little family.

And then I thought about mine and Teeranshu's conversations.

Our conversations were not just filled with lovey dovey talks. I just didn't fall for him because he was good with words and was charming.

It was because he made me feel extremely comfortable. He pampered me like a baby yet respected me like an adult who was capable to break all boundaries and fly in the sky whose limit I would set myself.

He was my solitude.

I gulped down few more drops as the bottle emptied.

I looked up and saw a figure moving towards me.

"Ba.. Bani.. Are you alright..? "

He said still maintaining distance. I rubbed my eyes to look at the person and then recognised who it was.

It was Teeranshu. The one who I loved whole heartedly and the one who broke the very same heart into pieces. The same face.

"Tu.. Tum.. Aa.. Aa gaye.. "

I said moving towards him with a little melancholic smile.

I was about to touch him as he took a step back and my heart twisted.

"Bani.. Tum hosh main nahi ho.. "

He said.

"Dur jana hi tha, toh pass aaye hi kyun? Jab pyar jhutha tha toh usse jataya hi kyun..? "

I said with a melancholic laugh.

"Bani.. "

He said with concern in his voice.

"Roshni kehte the na tum mujhe.. "

I said still moving towards him.

"Roshni kehkar tumne toh mujhse meri dhoop hi chin li aur badle main bewafai ki parchaiyon main dal diya.. "

I said as a single tear dripped from my eyes.

"Main woh nahi.. Jo tum soch.. Main Ve.. "

He was about to say something as I held his collar and pulled him closer to me.

Our faces were inches apart. I was looking into his eyes with pain and love both at the same time. How ironical was this moment.

"Sahi kahan Tu.. Tum woh nahi jo maine socha tha. "

I said as tears kept falling from my eyes.

"Maine tumhe Humdard samjha par tum bedard nikle. Maine tumhe rahat samjhi aur tum sitamgar nikle. Maine tumhe wafadar samjha... "

I cracked at the end as I now held his face in between my palms.

"Aur tum bewafa nikle "

I said looking at him being completely broken. And what I saw next made me even more shocked. I saw a tear fall down his eyes. I saw his pained expression.

He looked as hurt as me.

"Tumhare aasun dekhkar sukoon milna chahiye mujhe par tumhare aasun dekhkar mujhe yahan.. Yahan iss seene main taqleef ho rahi hein.. "

I said pointing towards my heart.

" Jitni saza deni hein de dena.. Puri umar padi hein.. "

He said placing his hand on my palms that were on his cheek.

We were really close, our noses were almost touching. I was feeling very vulnerable. I didn't know what I was doing and what I was thinking. I had no clue.

I moved my lips near his but he twirled me around. His one hand now on my waist and other on my hand.

"No Ba.. Bani.. You are not in your right state.. "

He said as I felt his breathe fanning on the crook of my neck.

" I don't know what's right or wrong.. But please take this pain away.. Pleaseeee... "

I said crying more. My eyes now started closing. Everything looked dizzy. And my eyes closed.

~~~

Next morning

The sunrays hit my eyes as the birds chirping echoed outside. I covered myself with a pillow from my right hand. I wanted to sleep for some more time plus my head felt like it would explode any moment.

I opened my eyes a little and saw an unfamiliar room. This wasn't my room. I held my head and was about to get up when my eyes landed on something... Or I would say someone.

Our fingers were intertwined while he sat on a chair placed near the bed. His head rested on the bed.

Did he sleep like this whole night?

And wait a minute, why our we holding hands?

I thought and immediately traced my hand back.

As I jerked my hand back, he suddenly got up.

"Bani, you alright..? "

He asked baffled. Though he actually looked cute. Those ruffled hair adding on to his sleepy eyes.

Wait what is wrong with me? And my head, it's aching like hell.

Bani you should give a reply, you are looking like a fool.

I got up and was about to answer when I looked down and I realised that I wasn't wearing the duppata. My bare back and belly both were on display.

I looked at him. He looked at me. And then....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!

~~~

Heyy guys!

So, how was the chapter?

Did you feel Bani's reaction was justified?

She spoke to Veer thinking it's Teer. Poor Veer :(

What do you think happened last night?

Also, spotify pe search "Dil ki Baziyan " and you will find all the songs that will be used in the upcoming chapters and those that are already used.

Stay tuned
Love you sweethearts.







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