Ridgephos (SFW)

TW: Major Character Death/Angst

Title: ~The End~

~Until The End~

It was raining, just like the whole world was crying. It had been a long time coming. I knew he would die but eternity wouldn’t have prepared me for it. Nothing could have.

As I held his hand, I couldn’t stop him from slipping away and I couldn’t beg him to stay either. He was going to die. I had to accept it.

“I’ve had a good life, Haven’t I?” He whispered, the rain almost drowning it out.

“Of course you have.”

“I feel like I could have done more.”

“You’ve done it all.”

He managed to look at at me and smile. “I guess you would know, huh? You’ve been with me all this time.”

“Of course,” I smiled even though I wanted to cry. “I’ll stay with you until the very end.”

“I know you will,” He said, his smile wavering a bit. “And looks like the end is coming earlier than expected and here you are, young as the day we first met.”

“Yes...” I still smiled but I could feel his hand loosening. “I promised you i’d be here. The same face and everything but it’s me like always.”

“Always, huh?” He seemed to mull over the concept in his head. “What will you do when I’m gone?”

“Why would you ask me that now?”

“Because I would like to know before I go.”

My face probably looked pained as I thought about it myself. I’ve had years and years to figure it out but now that it was time to make my decision, I still didn’t have a clue. “I don’t know...”

“Is that so...” He turned his gaze to the window. “Well, for someone like you who has all the time he needs, I just hope you never lose that smile.” After coming to terms with the fact he would never feel the rain again, he turned back. “But never pretend you’re always okay. Let yourself feel sad like you have now.”

Tears ran down my face. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. He was dying and all he was talking about was how he wanted me to smile. It hurt but also made me happy. “I-I will!”

His soft expression soothed my heart. “It will be okay, Ridge. Never forget all I’ve taught you. Never forget the time we’ve shared.”

“I’ll never forget!” I exclaimed, holding his hand as tight as I could. “I love you, Xephos!”

The last grin he would ever make crossed his face, “And I love you.”

He closed his eyes and I waited beside him with tears streaming down my face. I would stay until he took his last breath. Until the very end.

~Until My End~

I’ve never forgotten you, Xephos. Your memory sticks to me wherever I go. All this time, and I can’t seem to shake it off... though it would make things easier for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I still love you as much as I did then and it’s only grown stronger. It’s just I can’t seem to take it anymore. So many years and I’ve not been able to find anyone as wonderful as you. I smile as you told me but things are too different. I’m sorry but I’ve decided to sleep... sleep forever.

In this future, people willingly close their eyes and never wake up. There are many reasons but mine is so I’m not tortured by you anymore. I loved you so much. I thought I could live without you and be happy reminiscing but I can’t. I’m so sorry. This is not what we wanted. This is not what you wanted.

Forgive me. Please forgive me. I can’t live forever. I don’t want to live forever. Not like this. When I close my eyes for the last time, It will be best for us both. We’ll both be at peace. No pain. No loneliness. Just sweet dreams forever.

I’m sorry, Xephos. I really am, but this is my last goodbye. This is the very end. 

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