TW: SMuut 

Title: ~Tiny Slimes~

*Made up this ship name, anyone know if there is a legit one?*

Alsmiffy was furious.

It had been annoying when the others had decided to hide all his gear as a prank, but locking him outside at night afterwards was going too far. It was true that dying was cheap on this world where anyone could resurrect within moments -- and he was particularly resistant to being killed, due to his inhuman nature -- but that didn't mean that it was fun.

He was going to chuck them both into the Nether as soon as they let him back inside.

An arrow sank into his shoulder, and he glared at the skeleton who'd shot it. This was only going to be the first, and least, of the hazards he would face tonight. Arrows were no threat to him; his gelatinous body had no vital organs to pierce. But he was still susceptible to blunt trauma, and he could hear the moaning of zombies approaching from around the corner of the building.

He headed into the forest to gather wood. If he couldn't have his wands and armor, at least he could make himself a crappy sword to have somemeasure of defense against the various fiends of the night.

He'd managed to get a crafting bench up and had just finished a wooden pick to gather stone with, when the scorpion dropped onto his head.

He flailed, dodged, and squirmed into a hole under the tree that was far too small for the scorpion's rigid exoskeleton. The scorpion scratched at the hole and hissed. Alsmiffy glared briefly, then started digging at the bottom of the hole. The stone wouldn't be too far down, and then he could make himself a new crafting bench, and a sword.

If he was lucky, there might even be iron.

He wasn't lucky, however. The dirt went down for ages, but finally he hit the stone layer, and swiftly made himself a sword. And after a moment's thought, a few extra for backup. Now armed, if barely, he climbed back up to the exit of his small cave. The scorpion was gone, but Alsmiffy stayed inside, considering for a while whether he even wanted to leave the hole again.

His stomach firmly told him to get out and go find food.

Alsmiffy squirmed his way back out of the tiny opening, looking around carefully before starting to head back towards home. With a sword in his hand, he stopped running from the minor enemies, such as zombies. They quickly fell before him, providing him with a light -- and disgusting-- snack of rotten flesh.

After what felt like hours tediously hacking his way through the forest and its dangers, he realized that it was entirely possible that he was lost. Tossing his nearly-broken sword aside, he began hauling himself up the nearest tree to get an aerial view of his location.

A furry, clawed hand closed around his leg, and pulled him back down, knocking him on his back against the tree.

The werewolf was smaller than typical, but it still towered over Alsmiffy, and he knew the pitiful weapons he had strapped to his back would be no defense. He closed his eyes as it began tearing at him, biting his arms when he held them over his head. He'd died plenty of times before, but it had never quite been as painful as this time, being slowly torn apart.

Half his scattered pieces vanished into the beast's hungry gullet. His head was ripped off his neck and rolled under a bush about a meter away. The werewolf devoured his decapitated body before shaking itself and stalking off to hunt its next prey.

Alsmiffy's head shivered, and melted into a puddle briefly, before reforming into a tiny version of his humanoid form. He peeked out of the bush and, not seeing or hearing the werewolf, called out, "I think it's safe."

The scattered pieces of his former body quivered, and started making bubbly noises. The smaller pieces followed the bubbling to each other, and melted together before reshaping themselves into more tiny Alsmiffys. It took half an hour for all the pieces to reform, but after the process was complete, seven tiny Alsmiffys stood under the tree.

The biggest Alsmiffy, the former head, looked around at the rest of himself. "Well, we can't even lift the swords between us now, so what's the plan?"

"Hide." one of the smaller Alsmiffys suggested.

A different Alsmiffy poked him in the side. "Where? In the trees with the spiders? Or in the bushes with the wisps?"

One of the others raised a hand. "Name ourselves, so we can keep track until we're able to reform?"

The head Alsmiffy nodded. "Let's just go with numbers. We're all Alsmiffy, so names would be... confusing."

The others muttered around with each other, then agreed.

"Alright, I'll be One." the head Alsmiffy said, then began pointing at the others, one at a time. "Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, and Seven."

Each Alsmiffy nodded in turn, accepting their number. There was no need to fight over something as stupid as who got the 'best' number; they were all Alsmiffy.

"Okay, Two. Thoughts?" One asked.

Two responded dryly, "Just die and respawn at home."

"Rather not." Five replied, "It's a bit like giving up and letting Trott and Ross win, isn't it?"

Four scoffed. "Who cares what those two think. We'll just have our revenge on them once we're home."

Seven nodded.

"I think we-" Three was interrupted by a crashing sound from the bush behind them. They all dived to get behind the tree, then peered around the trunk cautiously as the bush shook and rustled.

After a minute, the rustling was joined by the sound of curses and human growls. Alsmiffy all carefully stepped back out from behind the tree and approached the bush.

"Who's in there?" One picked up a stick and poked at the bush, trying to move the leaves aside for a better look. The other Alsmiffy spread out. Two and Six started picking up twigs and tiny stones, having got the idea to craft miniature versions of their stone swords.

"What? Who's there?" an irritated man's voice demanded in answer to One's question.

"Alsmiffy." One answered, and frowned to himself. The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

"Ugh. Look, would you help me out here? We can talk when I'm not stuck in a tree."

One didn't correct the man that he was actually in a bush. "Give me a minute."

One waded into the bush, and quickly found the man, tangled in black and purple fabric, hanging almost upside-down from one of the larger branches. He had on some sort of cloak, which was wrapped around his arms, pinning them down and preventing him from untying himself. He was also familiar, even in the dim light.

"Rythian?" One blinked, and started working on untangling the fabric.

"Yeah." Rythian's face was shadowed under the leaves, but Alsmiffy thought he was scowling. "I had a teleporting accident, if you must know."

"Obviously." One managed to free one of Rythian's hands, which moved to help him with the knots. "Why are you so small?"

Rythian heaved a tired sigh. "I was trying to make a weapon in case Duncan and Sjin started causing trouble again, and it backfired in testing." He craned his head around to try and get a look at Alsmiffy right side up. "Why are you so small?"

"Werewolf." One answered simply, knowing Rythian wouldn't understand precisely what that meant.

Rythian's scowl returned, but he didn't ask for clarification.

Working in silence for a bit, the two of them managed to get Rythian's other hand free, which allowed him to get a decent grip on the branch to prevent himself from falling when his clothes were unwrapped from the bush. The fabric that had been tangled around Rythian's legs turned out to be that -- silly in Alsmiffy's opinion -- long scarf that he wore, and he took the time to carefully resecure it around his face before they make their way out of the bush.

Rythian looked around at the clearing, then settled his gaze on the obvious oddity of six copies of Alsmiffy clustered around two tiny crafting tables, passing around rocks and twigs and tiny stone swords. They'd also gathered the torn scraps of the clothing he'd been wearing before being torn apart, and it had been stacked into a neat pile nearby.

Alsmiffy One nodded in satisfaction that the rest of him was keeping productive, and turned to Rythian. "Are you armed?"

Rythian's gaze flickered to him briefly before he gave a slight shake of his head. "No. I don't have anything on me." He twitched his head slightly in the direction of the other Alsmiffys. "Cloning experiment?"

"Werewolf." One corrected, then decided that clarification was due. "I... am a slime, you know."

"It split you apart." Rythian nodded. "Where are we? Is your home close by?"

One shrugged. "I was lost, actually, when I got attacked. It shouldn't be far, however. I've only been out for a few hours on foot."

Rythian looked up through one of the small gaps in the canopy overhead. The moon was barely past its peak, and sinking. "There's still a while until dawn. We should find a shelter and wait until light."

Alsmiffy Three stepped up and thrust a sword hilt-first into Rythian's hands. Rythian fumbled for a moment before getting a decent grip, while Three passed another to One. "That's what the rest of me have decided." he told them.

One shrugged. "It's a better plan than walking around until another werewolf shows up."

Between the eight of them, they managed to hollow out a decent hole under the tree fairly quickly, with the entrance tucked between the roots. Alsmiffy Seven dragged over some branches broken off the bush and with Four's help, made the leaves into a cover for the floor, so they wouldn't have to be on the bare dirt. Over the leaves, they threw most of the scraps that had been saved from Alsmiffy's clothing. They debated the idea of making some sort of roof, but it was a dry night, and they ultimately decided it not worth the effort.

"Most of us should sleep." Alsmiffy Five declared, once they'd all tucked themselves inside. "We can set a watch in case anything small enough to get into our shelter shows up. I'll take first shift. One, you're the biggest of me, could you take second?"

One nodded. "If I get too tired before dawn, I'll wake up Six. Six?"

"That works." Six agreed.

"I'm fine with sitting a watch. You don't need to take all of them." Rythian offered.

One scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. We might as well take advantage of my redundancy right now. It doesn't matter that much if something eats one of me." He gave Rythian a sideways look, ignoring one of him complaining that it mattered to the one that got eaten. "How far is your spawn from your house, anyway?"

Rythian's chin came up, and he stiffened. It was very obvious to Alsmiffy that he was Not Shuddering.

One nodded. "Thought so. Mine's a long distance from my home, as well." He waved a hand at the rest of him. "As long as one of me makes it home, I can regrow to normal size. And as lost as I am now, I'm sure it's a shorter distance than my spawn."

"And I hate dying." Three offered, already curling up against the back wall of the hole, pulling a fabric scrap over him as a blanket.

As they all took scraps of their own and settled into place for the night, Rythian offered back a dry, "I do, too."

.~'~.~'

Alsmiffy One was woken up by a shake to his shoulder. He moaned unhappily, but sat up and rubbed at his eyes to remove the leaves and dirt that had stuck to his eyelids in his sleep. Sleeping out of doors when your skin is congealed slime wasn't on his top list of favorite recreational activities at the best of times, and it wasn't made better by needing to sleep in a hole in the ground because he didn't have any of his stuff with him.

Five quirked a brow at him, and he waved himself off with a quiet mutter of, "I've got it. Go to sleep."

He picked his way through his other selves, careful not to wake any. Near the entrance of the hole, Rythian was curled up. It seemed he was determined to help guard, even if he wasn't on watch. Near him was the stack of stone swords they'd made earlier, and a piece of loose cloth Five had left behind. One took the cloth and threw it over his shoulders, wrapping himself against the pre-dawn chill as he sat down next to Rythian's sleeping form, and picked up a sword to use if the worst happened.

The night was mostly quiet, at least as forests went. A few birds chirped now and then, as if complaining that their mate was hogging the nest. A wolf growl was worrying, but it was faint with distance. A couple times, the distinctive flutter of flying horses passed overhead.

A snail made its way through the middle of the clearing. It was a particularly fast specimen; Alsmiffy thought it would get to the far side within the next two hours.

Rythian suddenly jerked in his sleep and whimpered, rolling over onto his side. Alsmiffy turned to get a clear look at him. Rythian's face was beaded with sweat and his face was flushed. Was he sick? Alsmiffy started to reach out to feel his forehead, before realizing that he didn't know what a normal temperature would be for a human, and particularly not Rythian's atypical physiology. He dropped the hand back to his lap.

Rythian groaned, and rolled the other way, onto his back again. Suddenly the source of his discomfort was obvious. His pants were lifted up into a tent, an erection straining against the fabric. Alsmiffy turned his face away, feeling awkward. He really had no idea what might be the best thing to do in this situation. Wake Rythian up and pretend he'd thought he was having a nightmare? Leave him to his dreams and just try to ignore the groans and restless shifting? And what if Rythian rolled his way into the rest of them?

Rythian rolled into Alsmiffy One, instead.

Alsmiffy froze. Rythian's erection was pressed against his knee, and arms were starting to wrap around his waist. Hurriedly, he reached out and shook Rythian's shoulder.

"Hey!" He tried to keep his voice low. He only wanted to wake Rythian; The rest of him needed their sleep. Rythian only whimpered again in his sleep and bucked his hips against Alsmiffy's knee. Alsmiffy shook him harder and hissed, "Wake up!"

Rythian's whimpers took on a confused tone, and slowly his eyes eased open. "Alsmiffy?" he murmured, his expression foggy and slightly glazed over.

Alsmiffy shook his shoulder again, more gently. "You rolled into me in your sleep." he explained, but didn't say anything more, hoping to minimize the embarrassment he knew Rythian was about to feel.

Rythian's arms tightened for a moment, then abruptly pulled away as Rythian seemed to notice where they had been. He pushed himself into a sitting position and turned his back sharply. "Thank you for waking me." he said, voice tight.

Alsmiffy nodded in reflex, then because Rythian couldn't see him, said, "I thought you'd want to be woken up."

"Yes." Rythian's back was hunched, as if he was trying to shrink further.

Alsmiffy couldn't help feeling unhappy at Rythian's obvious discomfort. He wished he had something to say that he knew would help. "I didn't mind." he offered.

Rythian's back relaxed slightly, but his voice sounded even more strained as he repeated, "Thank you for waking me."

Alsmiffy had been hoping to ease Rythian's mind, but he only seemed to be bungling things further. He set his sword down and reached out to set his hand on Rythian's shoulder. Rythian tensed under his touch, then turned slightly to face him. Rythian's mask had come loose in his sleep, and the movement caused it to fall down to his chin. He was frowning, the scars around his mouth making the expression more fierce than normal.

"Please, don't touch me right now."

Alsmiffy took his hand away, with a frown of his own. "Sorry." he said, but it didn't come out sincerely.

Rythian growled softly and pulled up one of the pieces of cloth flooring, folding it over a few times before pressing it down into his crotch. "Since you can't give me any privacy, just say what you want."

Alsmiffy reeled back slightly. "I wasn't intending to-" he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to figure out how to let you know you had nothing to be embarrassed about."

"This isn't anything to be embarrassed about?" Rythian gestured angrily at his doubly-covered crotch. "I'd be less embarrassed if you weren't harassing me over this."

Alsmiffy scowled back at him. "Harassing you? You're the one who poked his dick into me."

"I thought you 'didn't mind' that?" Rythian's voice was half snarl, but thankfully still quiet. "If you really didn't mind, one would think you would drop the subject."

"Maybe I like this subject!" Alsmiffy hissed before he'd thought about what he was saying. Rythian's back straightened abruptly, his face going carefully blank.

"Um." Alsmiffy shrank under Rythian's unreadable stare. He opened his mouth to say something, but found he had no idea of what to say. He certainly didn't want to say what he was starting to think. That Rythian pressed against him was starting to seem a lot more than just 'not a bother'. The thought was becoming... attractive. Alsmiffy swallowed heavily.

"If you think..." Rythian's voice came out in a cold, angry hiss, "If you think that you can... can trick me into a compromising position-"

"You paranoid bastard!" Alsmiffy interrupted him with a hiss of his own, "Do you think everyone is out to get you? That it's impossible someone could just find you attractive? God knows hanging out with my friends I'd probably find a cactus attractive, but you are a good looking man if you look past the raging asshole."

Rythian was shaking now, his face darkly flushed, his hands tightening to fists, pressed against his knees. "I don't know what you think you're trying to accomplish with this... charade you're putting on, but-"

This time Alsmiffy's interruption was a hard shove, knocking Rythian to his back on the floor. Rythian gasped as his breath was knocked out of him, and Alsmiffy seized the moment to straddle Rythian's stomach, his hands on either side of Rythian's head as he lowered his face down into Rythian's own.

"I don't know what I'm trying to do either," he admitted with an ugly muddle of fury and sheepishness, "but I think I'm flirting with you."

Rythian was still fighting to get his breath back, a trial made harder with Alsmiffy's weight pressing down on him. Alsmiffy thought that if he wasn't so clearly struggling, he might have kissed him. Instead, he pulled his head back just enough to give Rythian a minimum of space, and fought to keep his expression stern. This would be exactly the wrong time to laugh in Rythian's face, no matter how big an idiot he was being.

Rythian slowly caught his breath again, and let out a long, wordless hiss from between his clenched teeth. He twitched his hips to the left suddenly, then stilled. Alsmiffy hadn't even realized he'd pinned Rythian to an uneven portion of the floor until Rythian had moved and flattened out properly. Of course, now Rythian's cock was pressing against Alsmiffy's ass, and their breathing was causing it to rub in a way that was clearly having effects on Rythian.

"This is flirting?" Rythian grumbled. Alsmiffy smirked at the loss of fury in his voice.

"Flirting for raging assholes, yeah." he agreed. Rythian's eyes flashed with reflected moonlight as he turned his head to squint at Alsmiffy. Alsmiffy smirked harder. The implications including himself in that statement were deliberate, and Rythian had clearly picked up on both messages.

Rythian lifted his head off the floor just enough to let it fall again. He had probably been hoping for a solid thunk, but the leaves and cloth padding only allowed a soft, muffled crunch.

Alsmiffy decided that was as good an invitation as any, and lowered his head to press his lips to Rythian's.

Rythian pressed back hard, hard enough that it would have hurt if Alsmiffy had human lips. His tongue slipped into Alsmiffy's mouth, delightfully invasive. Alsmiffy shifted his weight back to press his ass against Rythian's cock, making Rythian moan into his mouth.

Rythian's hands came up and grabbed Alsmiffy's waist, pulling his hips further down, until their crotches were pressed against each other. He bucked his hips, then paused, breaking the kiss to frown at Alsmiffy. "You don't have a cock?"

Alsmiffy blinked. He honestly hadn't thought about that. His shape was entirely under his control, and he typically never saw any need to form genitals. It wasn't like he needed a penis to work an arcane alembic, after all. He quickly formed one, grinning as Rythian tried to crane his neck to see if he was feeling what he thought he was feeling.

Rythian's puzzled expression melted away, and Alsmiffy heard him mutter something sounding like, "Right, a slime. Bastard can shapeshift.". Alsmiffy decided to grow his cock further, until it was a full twenty percent larger than Rythian's, just out of spite.

Alsmiffy sat up, allowing Rythian to lift his head and get a proper view of his new equipment. "Is this what you wanted?"

Rythian quirked an eyebrow with a smirk that Alsmiffy did not appreciate at all. Okay, maybe he appreciated it a little. "You forgot the balls."

"You're so picky." Alsmiffy corrected his oversight, then moved himself back until he was kneeling on either side of Rythian's legs. "Let's get these off." He pulled Rythian's trousers down without ceremony, and grinned as Rythian bit his lip when his cock sprung free into the chill air.

"You fucker!" Rythian growled, clasping his hands protectively over his genitals.

Alsmiffy reached down and pried them free. He pinned Rythian's hands against the floor and bent down, blowing a soft puff of breath over Rythian's cock.

Rythian inhaled sharply through clenched teeth. His cock twitched at the teasing, and Alsmiffy blew on it again.

"Would you just get on with it already?" Rythian complained, jerking his hips so that his erection slapped Alsmiffy on the cheek. Alsmiffy laughed, then swiped his tongue over Rythian's balls.

"You're pretty impatient." Alsmiffy said with a chuckle, and stopped Rythian's next complaint by closing his lips around Rythian's cock.

Rythian hissed though his teeth again, and rammed his hips upward, shoving his full length down Alsmiffy's throat. Alsmiffy scowled at the obvious -- and futile -- attempt to make him gag, and bit down slightly, just barely enough to make Rythian wince.

Alsmiffy hummed around his mouthful, and Rythian's head slammed down into the padded floor again. The shaky moan that escaped Rythian's lips before he clasped them shut had Alsmiffy deciding to experiment with his shapeshifting a bit. Alsmiffy formed ripples and ridges on the inside of his throat, and started bobbing his head up and down over Rythian's cock, almost pulling it entirely out of his mouth before letting it slide all the way back in.

Rythian groaned, and bucked his hips, slamming himself into Alsmiffy's face repeatedly, until Alsmiffy released his hands in order to pin his hips down to the floor.

With his hands free, Rythian grabbed Alsmiffy's head and shoved it away from his groin. "Wait." he said between heavy breaths. He carefully sat up, not trying to push Alsmiffy off his legs. He reached a hand down and closed it around Alsmiffy's cock. "Let's-" Rythian dropped the sentence in favor of stroking Alsmiffy's erection, his other hand drifting down to grip his own.

Rythian's head dropped onto Alsmiffy's shoulder, and Alsmiffy turned to nip at his ear, just a shade more than gently. Rythian growled and bit down fairly hard on Alsmiffy's neck.

"You probably shouldn't do that, mate." Alsmiffy warned, slightly too late. Rythian's teeth broke Alsmiffy's skin layer, and the inner slime started oozing out.

Rythian's hand stilled on Alsmiffy's cock as he pulled his face away, spitting. "That's foul!"

"Well don't try to bite a slime if you don't like the taste." Alsmiffy smirked. He slapped a hand on the bite wound and focused on congealing over the hole. After a moment, it was thick enough that he took his hand away, and made a show of licking his palm. "I suppose you couldn't be expected to enjoy quality things."

"Quality things like your insides."

Alsmiffy laughed in his face, then threw himself backward, onto the floor. "If you want to enjoy my insides, I could suggest better ways than that sad attempt."

Rythian shifted to his hands and knees, and crawled forward until he was looming over Alsmiffy's body, his hips raised in the air just high enough to prevent his cock from tapping against Alsmiffy's belly with every breath. This meant his ass was stuck up in the air, and Alsmiffy eyed it for a moment, before deciding against smacking it. At least for the moment.

Rythian's face lowered towards Alsmiffy's until their noses were almost touching. "I could get the impression... that you want me to fuck you." he said with a smirk.

Alsmiffy smirked back. "Oh hey, you are trainable. I guess that puts you one up from Ross' level. I'm still trying to get the bastard to stop peeing on the rug."

Rythian smacked his forehead into Alsmiffy's hard enough to make Alsmiffy's eyes loosen and go drifting deeper into his head. Everything turned green, and too blurry to make out shapes. He could feel Rythian's lips hit his, and he returned the kiss as fiercely as he was getting while he worked on moving his eyes back into place.

The kiss ended as he was resetting his vision, and Rythian's face appeared out of the fading green, wearing that confused expression he kept getting when he was reminded of how not human Alsmiffy was. Alsmiffy was starting to get annoyed at that look, even if a confused Rythian was strangely... cute.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night, or are you going to put that thing to use?" Alsmiffy asked, with a quick hand gesture down towards Rythian's erection.

Rythian started to scowl, but as he turned his attention to Alsmiffy's ass, the confusion returned. Alsmiffy sighed forcefully and smacked his head against the floor. The soft crunch of leaves under cloth was a very unsatisfying result when he wanted a hefty thunk. This guy was supposed to be one of Minecraftia's genius minds?

"And where am I-" Rythian started to ask.

Alsmiffy kicked him in the leg. "Just pick a place and I'll do the rest."

Rythian grabbed Alsmiffy's hips and sat back, pulling Alsmiffy onto his lap. He let go with one hand to grab his cock and maneuver it between Alsmiffy's ass cheeks. Once Rythian seemed to find a place he liked, Alsmiffy opened himself up at that spot. Rythian's cock quickly slid into him, and Alsmiffy groaned and pressed his face into Rythian's neck. He didn't try to bite this time, too distracted by the sensation of Rythian starting to thrust into him.

Alsmiffy's cock was basically for show, about as sensitive as any other part of his skin layer, but his insides were another matter, and Rythian's steadily harder pounding made him jiggle and slosh inside. It was an intense feeling, and he gripped Rythian's shoulders as if he was going to fall off. His legs wrapped around Rythian's waist and he wanted to thrust back, but he couldn't manage anything but clinging and shaking as Rythian kept taking him faster, and harder.

Rythian suddenly stilled, and Alsmiffy drooped against him with a disappointed whimper. Alsmiffy hoped that wasn't going to be the end already.

Rythian shoved Alsmiffy off his lap. "Hands and knees." he grunted.

Alsmiffy murmured a wordless question, and Rythian stood and grabbed him, turning him onto his face against the ground, then hauling his chest up until he could get his hands under him. Rythian then grabbed Alsmiffy's hips and pulled his ass back against his groin.

"Now I won't be doing all the work." Rythian said as he slipped his cock back into Alsmiffy.

Alsmiffy offered his agreement by rocking his ass back against Rythian as Rythian started to move. No longer fighting gravity, the pounding was even fiercer and faster than before. Rythian's cock slammed into Alsmiffy with enough force that Alsmiffy could feel shockwaves in his slime. Alsmiffy wiggled, and rocked back, and moved every way he could to make each thrust hit harder. The sensations of his insides being battered was starting to render him almost thoughtless. He yelped and moaned, loudly, and after a few tries, managed to gasp Rythian's name.

Rythian's rhythm faltered, his thrusts suddenly short and shallow, and before Alsmiffy could voice a complaint, he came, his semen squirting deep into Alsmiffy, leaving a white swirl briefly visible through his stomach before it dissolved into the slime.

Rythian pulled out with a gasp, and collapsed onto Alsmiffy's back, knocking them both to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Alsmiffy quickly squirmed out from under Rythian's body, and scraped out the dirt that had got stuck in his face.

Sudden applause made them both look up.

Alsmiffy Six was slowly clapping his hands together, smirking down at them.

One crawled his way onto Rythian's back before he could get up and start making a fuss, and waved a hand in Six' direction, middle finger firmly raised.

"You're an asshole." One informed Six.

Six grinned. "Raging."

One quirked a brow. Six nodded. One sighed and looked down at Rythian, who hadn't said anything yet, but was rapidly turning a very dark red.

"Oh, don't get upset about being seen. I'm the only other one here." One told him firmly.

Rythian visibly rolled this over in his head, then shoved One off of him and started pulling his pants back up. "You must be a narcissist to like watching yourself have sex."

One met Six's eyes, and they both shrugged. "Probably."

.~'~.~'

When dawn broke, Six had taken over the watch, and he started waking the others. Every Alsmiffy except One had ended up in a giant, slightly gooey pile against the back wall. They'd hadn't melted together completely -- they couldn't without some of their supplies at home -- but they required quite a lot of untangling before they could make their way outside.

Rythian and One were sleeping back to back a short distance away from everyone else, and Six waited to wake them until the others had started filing out and gathering their swords.

Just as One was opening his eyes at Six's shaking, a voice called from some distance outside.

"RYYYYYTHIAN! ARE YOU THERE? RYYYYYTHIAN!"

Rythian sat up so fast his head hit Six's shoulder and knocked him over. "Zoey?"

As Rythian ran outside, One pulled himself upright, and reached down to pull Six to his feet. He bent down and picked up Rythian's folded scarf they'd been using as a pillow, before following him outside.

"ZOEY!" Rythian was shouting into the sky, his hands cupped around his mouth.

"Rythian!" A huge form dropped down through the trees. Zoey's normal human size half filled the space that Alsmiffy had been regarding as a small clearing. She dropped to her knees and scooped Rythian up in her hands. "You're okay! I was so worried when you didn't show up after the teleport and I searched everywhere and you weren't there and I remembered I'd made this device that I can use to track people so I was tracking you but there's so much flux in the air and it took forever to get a good reading and I've been flying for hours and I'm so glad you're safe!"

Rythian gave Zoey's thumb a reassuring pat. "I'm glad you didn't run into any trouble."

"Who's this?" Zoey peered down at the gathered Alsmiffy. "Did you find a magical slime kingdom while you were away?" She gasped. "Do they want to send ambassadors to the mushroom kingdom? Are these ambassadors that we'll be taking with us?"

Three of the Alsmiffys facepalmed.

"No, Zoey." Rythian rubbed a hand over his forehead. "This is Alsmiffy, of Hat Films. You remember them, right? We met them at Ridge's last Survival Games."

Zoey nodded slowly. "Oh, yes. They were nice guys. But wait, which one is Alsmiffy?"

One stepped forward. "We're all Alsmiffy. I'm a slime, yes. I ran into trouble and got... separated. Would you be willing to give me a ride back to my home? It should be nearby."

Zoey nodded enthusiastically. "Sure! I think I saw a white castle while I was flying around, but the tracking device pointed me away from it, so I didn't bother looking. I'd be happy to take a closer look! It seemed pretty from a distance."

"That would be home, yes." One agreed.

After some quick negotiations, they decided that the best course of action would be for Zoey to tie her cape into a bag and carry Almiffy in it, while Rythian clung to her shoulder.

The flight was thankfully short, and when Zoey released Alsmiffy from the makeshift bag, it was onto carved marble flooring, under a familiar tower.

"Head upstairs and start getting ourself back together." Alsmiffy One told the rest of him, before turning and giving Zoey a grateful nod. "Thank you for bringing me home. Before you leave, could I have a private word with Rythian?"

"Sure!" Zoey plucked Rythian from her shoulder and set him down gently beside Alsmiffy, who led him around the edge of the tower.

As soon as they were out of Zoey's sight, Alsmiffy grabbed Rythian's shirt and slammed him into the marble wall, snatching a quick kiss before turning his face into Rythian's neck and giving him tiny licks.

"Memorize the coordinates and come back again." Alsmiffy growled into Rythian's skin.

Rythian started to moan, then jerked his head to the side and bit Alsmiffy's ear off.

Alsmiffy pulled away, slapping a hand to the side of his head. "What the hell was that for?"

Rythian spat the ear aside, where it swiftly melted into a tiny green puddle on the polished stone. He smirked at Alsmiffy. "I set a waypoint the moment we landed."

Alsmiffy rubbed at the side of his head, then pulled his hand away and regrew the missing ear. "You are very lucky that I seem to have a thing for assholes."

Rythian pushed off the wall, reaching out to grab the back of Alsmiffy's head and pull him in for a kiss. He sucked Alsmiffy's lower lip into his mouth and bit down on it until the skin broke, then pulled away and licked the slime off his lips.

Alsmiffy resisted the urge to kidnap him and drag him up to his tower.

"See you around." Rythian turned away and walked back around the curve of the tower.

Alsmiffy waited in the shadow of the tower while Rythian and Zoey exchanged some brief words, then took off. Once Zoey's voice faded into the distance, he made his way inside.

.~'~.~'

Ross was fixing a creeper hole at the back of his building when Trottimus bounced up to him, wide-eyed and holding a pitcher of water.

"Thirsty, mate?"

Ross gave the pitcher a suspicious glace before taking it. "Yeah. Thanks."

Trott was practically vibrating in place, and Ross hoped the water wasn't some sort of experiment that would end up with him having to trek back from his spawn point again. It was half a kilometer away through thick forest, and wasn't a joy even in the day.

Under Trott's excited gaze, he took a sip.

"Smiff's got a boyfriend."

Water spewed all over Ross' workspace, and dibbled down the front of his shirt. He coughed, wiping his face dry with his sleeve.

Trott was actually wagging his giant blubbery walrus tail, the bastard!

"Hah! That worked beautifully!"

Ross laughed flatly. "Yeah, mate. You got me. But seriously, Smiff got home okay?"

Trott nodded. "But I'm not making the boyfriend thing up. You know that magey guy who used to get in those big fights with Sjin and Duncan? Named Rythe or something?"

"Rythian?" Ross stared. Seriously, Alsmiffy and Rythian were...?

"Yeah, that guy. That lady friend of his brought Alsmiffy home, and I saw him drag the guy out of her sight and start snogging him."

Ross tilted his head to the side and considered that idea. And quickly decided that he most certainly didn't want to consider that idea, thank you very much.

"We have to tease him mercilessly over this!" Trott was grinning wickedly, and after a moment, Ross was as well.

"Yes. Yes, we have."