Chapter 20

I woke up with a start. It wasn’t the bell. What time is it? I was about to sit up but I noticed that someone was getting out of bed. The creaking of the cot was close to my left. Squid?  I rolled over pretending to move in my sleep, letting out a deep breath after I was fully facing an empty cot. I peeked through my eyelashes. The shadowy figure stopped moving; instead it was frozen solid in the middle of the tent. After a few seconds the figure slowly back up towards the flaps of the tent. When it reached the end of Zigzag’s cot, it turned and flipped the covers open disappearing outside. I shoved the sheet off of me and swung my legs over the side and stood up. Armpit snored loudly. I stood still. Armpit’s sleeping body rolled over and threw a hand limply over the side. I tiptoed out of the tent. It was real dark since the lights weren’t on. I found out who the figure was, it only made me curious. What is he doing out here at night? Why the hell did no one see him? But more importantly I wondered if he was OK. Squid comforted me when I was at my lowest; maybe he needed me this time? Like he said, I needed him as much as he needed me. I was very concerned if anything was wrong and hoped to God he wasn't doing something stupid like self-harming. A torchlight flicked past me. I ducked back into the tent. I waited a second before I stepped out to see Squid’s figure walking away. I was scared that he would suddenly turn round and see me and I was equally scared that I might step on one of those cursed lizards. But I guess it was a kind of 'thrill of the chase' feeling most of the time. And it mixed with the excitement that I might finally have a moment alone with him. I kept to the shadows and made sure that whenever Squid turned round to check for followers, I wasn't caught in the beam of his flashlight.

Eventually we'd been walking for about five minutes and I realized we were heading for the dried lake because now, I was able to hide behind the lumps of dirt that we'd left there during the day. I made sure I kept at least a few meters behind Squid and I was secretly enjoying diving behind the piles of dirt when Squid's flashlight would whip round and I'd have to hide. Finally I peeked over a pile of dirt to see Squid in the distance and he was now knelt on the dusty floor of the lake. Grinning and trying to hide my childlike joy as I began to sneak up on him, diving between lumps of dirt and edging round previously dug holes. It was kind of exciting I had realized. But as I dived behind the final lump of dirt only a meter or so away from Squid and peeked over the top, I could hear gentle sobbing. Squinting further into the darkness I could see he was actually in fact knelt next to a hole and crying. My expression became blank as I froze watching the boy I liked softly crying to himself. This wasn't fun at all…

I could see his smaller frame rising and falling in time with his tears while his arms hung limply by his sides. He was looking at a picture of what looked like a very happy family, a mom, a dad, and a little baby holding a small blue octopus toy. The baby's face was in a very cute smile, and the parents looked very happy. They seemed to be in front of public cswimming pool. The adult's feet were dangling in the water and the child sitting on his dad's lap. Some tears dripped down and splashed onto the shiny surface of the photo. I bit my lip, as I began to wish I hadn't followed him out here. But at the same time, I could feel myself standing up and walking over to him. It hurt me bad to see him like this. He was normally so strong and invincible, that seeing him like this made me feel weird. I wasn't sure if it was good weird, or bad weird. But either way, my heart still ached as I looked at him. He must've heard my footsteps first because he whirled round and looked up at me, pointing the flashlight in my direction. His eyes widened then he resumed crying, harder than before and he then angrily punched the floor, turning his head away, obviously angry at being discovered. I chewed my lip and cautiously began moving to sit next to him.

"Hey Squid…" I said sitting next to directly in front of him while he turned his torso away from me.

"Hey E-ember…" he said back in a soft voice although I could still see the glints of tiny silent tears slipping from his eyes. My heart felt like it had been ripped out, trodden on, chewed, shot and then stitched back into my chest again as I watched him cry. With slight hesitation I awkwardly reached out and put my arm round his shoulders, pulling him towards me in a somewhat awkward hug. Yet it made my heart hurt a little less when I felt him put his arms round my waist and lean his head against my chest in a position similar to a mother comforting her child.

"Aw, Squid…" I hugged him and made shushing noises, stroking his matted brown hair. "It'll be alright." I coaxed.

"No… no it won't! My dad… my dad, he's gone. And my mom… my mom…" He cried again, not as bad as I did, but tears came all the same. When he calmed down enough to talk, he told me his story. He said that his parents used to be so happy. Then, his dad started disappearing for long amounts of time. He came home later and later, until he didn't come home at all. The last time he saw him was after he had a huge argument with his mother then told Squid that he was going to ‘buy some ice-cream’. His dad walked out the door and never came back in. That was twelve years ago. His mom started drinking alcohol to ease the sadness and the pain of betrayal. His mom, he didn't go into detail, but I assumed that she used to hit him. Once his step dad came into the picture, he couldn't take it. He began to do bad things… criminalist, illicit bad things. It started out with graffiti. Then it progressed into stealing from cars and then finally stealing from houses and apartments. I frowned a little and rubbed his arm in what I hoped was a comforting manner. I felt him hug me tighter, “Then I started to skip school. M-my friends never wanted to come near me, the teachers wouldn’t listen. So I got so angry that I broke into houses and stuff. They sent me here and the only thing I have from my good days of being a child is that little plastic octopus I have in the photo, its my lifeline. Now I have the nickname Squid.” I began to feel moisture of his tears on my skin.

"Don’t worry I bet all the boys…and Charlie know what it feels like not to be…you know…accepted at school. Ziggy probably knows the best!" I said in a tone as though I knew this was the truth.

I heard Squid laugh slightly, "He probably does…" he said leaning off my chest so he could look at me with his tear stained eyes. Those eyes... those beautiful eyes… I’d never seen a boy cry and look right at me. It was so different. I felt tears unwillingly beginning to well up in my eyes.

"Oh lawd, don't make me cry too" I sniffed and looked up and blinked away the irritating tears before they could fall while I heard Squid hum softly in slight amusement. They didn’t go away; instead one by one trickled down my cheeks and land in the dirt. I turned back to him and leaned my head against his. We sat in silence for a moment.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself, I'm sure X or Armpit wouldn't want to see you like this," I said cursing myself as I saw his smile turn into a worried expression again and he glared at me. "What?" I asked wondering what I'd said. Suddenly he gripped each of my shoulders in his hands and pulled my face close to his, so I got a good look at his intense hazel eyes. The force of his hands stunned me and I looked at him shocked.

"You can't tell them about this, t-they'll laugh at me" he growled, while I just stared with wide eyes.

"I never was going to!" I admitted freely because in all truth that thought had never crossed my mind, I was just happy to see him smiling. I bit my lip and another tear trickled down. "I wasn't going to tell them anything, I swear! I was just happy to see you not crying anymore! It never even came to me that I was gonna tell them, your secret is safe!" I replied hurriedly, which I suppose only made me look me guiltier. He looked even more threatening than usual with his tear stained eyes and glare, which was now quickly settling into worry.

“I-I’m sorry Em, I really didn’t mean to be so rough.” He raised a hand to my face. I flinched. It was a natural reaction I guess, from my mother’s punishments. I felt his palm wipe my tears from my cheeks. I nervously continued to bite my lip as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He just grinned and lowered his hands to my hips gently pulling me towards him, which was making my heartbeat increase as I wondered what he was going to do. He stopped several millimeters away from me, so that our noses were almost touching, I could feel his breath ghosting over my lips as he chuckled. "Well don't worry… “As he spoke I couldn't help but notice how his gaze gradually moved from my eyes to my lips and I felt myself becoming hot. It could just be this heavy desert air?

"Wh-what?" I choked out, suddenly realizing what a compromising position we were in, his legs knelt either side of mine, and I couldn't help but gulp and shift beneath him.

"Ember …I know you like me…" he said slowly with that smug smirk, as if waiting for my brain to process his sentence. This time I found my eyes drifting down to his lips and next thing I knew, his lips were pressed against mine. My eyes went wide, wondering how quickly he'd gone from being heartbroken to acting this bold. When I felt his tongue slipping into my mouth and rubbing against mine playfully I decided that I was glad he was so confident. My eyes closed and I kissed him back feverishly, pushing my fingers through his hair, and pulling him closer, while he nipped at my lower lip. I could feel warm electricity spreading through my body every time he moved his tongue or his body closer and I moaned when he knotted his hands in my hair and pulled us impossibly closer. Regrettably we had to break for oxygen and we both pulled away panting, but he pulled me back closer so our foreheads were leant against each other. We were both heavily breathing in the space in-between, the only difference was, he was looking like a predator while I was looking like some little rabbit he'd managed to capture.

"R-right …" I panted out in recognition. So Squid had known all along… "How…long did you…know?" I asked trying to regain my breath while I leaned in to kiss him again, but this time he stopped me, putting a finger to my lips. I looked up at him questionably.

"Does it matter? At least I know now." he said smugly climbing off me and slipping from my grip. I sat on the floor feeling confused before quickly scrambling to my feet.

"A-and what makes you so sure I won't tell X and Mag about your weakness!" I said, my face still flushed, jogging a little to catch up with him, one of my bare feet slightly tripped on a pile of dirt. I wouldn’t really tell anyone, but I wanted to see what his reaction would be. Squid turned round and frowned at me, but then a playful grin spread on his face.

"Because if you don't…I'll give you a reward" he said smugly, watching as my eyes shamefully sparkled and I froze to the spot, trying to imagine what many glorious possibilities he meant. Before I realized he was leaving me stood there.

"Hey! Don't act like you didn't enjoy what we did!" I said grinning and running to catch up. We were now at the last row of holes. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into me. I gazed up at him and smiled. And his lips covered mine. I put my hands in his hair again, and he put his hands on my back. His tongue slid over my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I obliged. When we had to breathe, we both blushed.

“Come on baby, we better go back now.” His hand curled around mine as we slowly walked back. He opened the flap and let me walk in first then followed. I sat down on his bed and he joined.

“The bell’s gonna ring Squid…” I stroked his cheek. He leaned in and gave me one last passionate kiss. 

"Go away you ghosts!” squealed a terrified voice. We pulled off each other and squinted in the darkness. A wide headed figure leaned closer to us. “Wait a sec, NO WAY. It's Squid and Ember." The figure was a foggy eyed Zigzag.