The door to the cafe rang and a chattering group clambered into the cafe. Among the voices was one in particular which sounded distinctly familiar; I quickly turned my head to see who the voice belonged. I felt all the color drain from my face when I saw who it was.

    Victoria.

    I was paralyzed in fear. I couldn't bring myself to move or do anything to hide from Victoria's view. I could only pray that she wouldn't notice me.

    "Gracey?" Niall whispered as he put his hand on mine, his face contorted with fear. I whipped my head around as I felt his warm hand touch mine.

    "Don't. . . ." I whispered, my eyes wide as I looked back at Victoria. She was animatedly talking to her other wasted friends. It seems my absence didn't keep her from leaving the house.

    I felt as though I couldn't breathe. What if she saw me? What if my dream comes true? What if it wasn't a dream at all, but a vision? I could feel my whole body shake.

    "Gracey . . . can you tell me what's wrong?" Niall said, bringing my attention back to him.

"We have to go."

"But—"

I quickly gathered my things and tried to get out of the cafe as fast as possible, before someone grabbed my hand.

I jumped and smacked the person to who the hand belonged, square in the nose.

"What was that for!" Niall yelped in pain.

"I— I'm sorry I thought—" I looked at Victoria's group, hoping and praying I didn't draw attention to myself.

She was looking straight at me.

I felt tears trickle down my face and reached for the door as fast as I could. The cold air hit my face as I ran as fast and far as my legs could take me. I had to get away from her. I didn't want to live the horrible life I grew up with.

I finally made it to a small thicket of trees at the far end of the park where my legs gave in and I collapsed to the rough ground beneath me. My whole body ached and stabbing pain came with every breath of air I took. I shook my head as I tried my hardest not to let my tears fall.

That was the closest I had been to Victoria in months. I had gotten so used to being away from her that I let my guard down. What would've happened if I had been caught?

But she saw me. I could only pray that she was too drunk to have recognized me.

I stared up at the cloudy sky as I tried to calm myself down. I thought I was strong. I thought I was free. I thought I was safe. But life doesn't ever seem to give you a break, does it?

I heard the sound of crunching sticks behind me. I jumped up, startled, before realizing it was just Niall.

"I'm sorry. . . ." I whispered, looking at my feet. I felt horribly guilty for letting my fear ruin our date. Because of me, he was panting and seemingly cold to the bone from the February air.

"For what? There's nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have startled you,"

"No, it's not your fault, I shouldn't have run off either." My voice broke and the lump in my throat grew bigger as I fought to keep the tears from streaming down my face.

    Niall must've seen my struggle and quickly ran over to hug me. "Gracey, can you tell me what's wrong?"

    "It doesn't matter . . . it's stupid."

    "I don't think something 'stupid' would've caused you to look as though you've seen a ghost,"

    "I don't wanna talk about it," I said, my voice sounding panicked; I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to have the burden of my past on his shoulders.

    "I know it's hard, but I need you to talk to me. I want to help you."

    I frantically searched my brain for a response. I couldn't tell him yet; it was too soon. "It was my ex-boyfriend," I lied. "it . . . didn't end well. . . ."

    "Oh . . . I've never really had an ex before since my mum always said I was too young to date. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Niall responded.

    Silence filled the air as we didn't know what to say to each other. "Would you want to go on a walk around the park? You know, to get your mind off of things?" Niall said, attempting to save us from the awkward situation.

    "Why not."

    We started in silence as we walked around the frost-covered park. Gradually, we warmed up to deep conversation yet again. We talked and talked, forgetting about our troubles, our surroundings, our lives, till it was just us.

    My body shivered in the cold air; Niall noticed and draped his jacket over my shoulders. My mind wandered elsewhere as I thought of all that had happened. Guilt filled my soul more and more with every move I made. I didn't want to lie to Niall, but it was too soon and it could ruin everything.

    I was brought back to focus when I felt a warm hand graze mine. I quickly looked down and realized it belonged to Niall, who was attempting to weave his fingers between mine.

    The feeling of his hand in mine felt amazing, but I couldn't let him get close to me. It hurt me so much — to the point I hated myself — that I had to distance myself; but it had to be done. In an attempt to be subtle, I pulled my hands away and put them in the pockets of the leather jacket Niall gave me.

    I was surprised when I looked over and saw him staring at the ground with a heartbreaking look in his eyes. He spoke before I could say a word; there was shaking anger in his voice.

    "I don't understand." He said, still refusing to look me in the eyes.

    "What's wrong?" I asked, fear enveloping me; I knew he was mad at me.

    "I've tried to take it slow. I've made it completely and utterly obvious that I like you — I really, really like you. But every time, you hide away! Did I do something wrong?" Niall responded, anger prominent in his voice.

    "Niall you didn't do anything wrong. I just . . ." I panicked. I couldn't tell him about my nightmares, that would sound silly. "I—I'm just scared."

    "Of what!"

    "Of—of this! Don't you remember what just happened minutes ago? I just saw my ex and I'm still out of it!" I said, digging myself deeper into the lie.

"This isn't the first time you've done this to me. It can't be your ex."

"As I said, it was a bad breakup. I'm not going to automatically be over it. I just don't want anyone to get hurt!"

"If you were still getting over it, you shouldn't be leading me on!" Niall exclaimed, his voice growing louder with each word he spoke.

"When did I ever lead you on!"

"Oh, I don't know . . . maybe by going on a date with me!?"

I looked down at the ground, not sure what else to say. I didn't want to dig myself deeper into the hole of lies.

"Why can't you just like me back?" Niall said, exasperated. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he looked defeated. My heart tightened and the feeling of guilt flooded back into my veins yet again.

"I do like you, Niall, I really do!"

"You're making no sense! I don't understand Gracey, I just don't! But I want you to know, that I love you, more than words can ever explain. I still get those stupid little butterflies every time you walk into the room. And no matter how long I've known you, I don't think those feelings for you will ever change. But if you don't want to be with me, I —"

    My heart was about to explode as our fight grew. I realized I shouldn't let fears overcome me and take over my life. Maybe my dream wasn't a vision, but a metaphor. If I didn't let go of my past, I wouldn't get to fulfill my dreams or be truly happy. If I let it eat me up, it could ruin relationships. Maybe Niall would be taken away from me if I didn't take my chance. I knew no words could describe what I was feeling; so before he could finish his sentence, I proved what I was feeling as I ignored my fears and cut him off with a kiss.

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A/N

I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN LIKE 28387946854943 YEARS I HAVEN'T POSTED LMAO

anywho, I hope the last paragraph made sense, I think I lost all my brain cells 😍😍😍 but ya know, baby steps after 238457-year long writer's block 😍

I don't know if I'd call this a successful date, or an unsuccessful date tbh 😭it was bipolar 😀

also, the beautiful amazing wonderful @-accio1d- is gonna make a book trailer for DW! I'm thinking of having Ella fanning (with brown hair obvi) as the face claim for grace, but I'm not exactly sure, so if y'all have any other ideas lemme know here --------->

ALSO, this chapter is dedicated to the amazing Gracey, (who doesn't have watt anymore sadly) for helping me out of my writer block for this chapter, she wrote one of the paragraphs cuz my brain wasn't working 😭 so EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU GRACEY

ALSO ALSO ALSO (last paragraph I promise) THANK YOU ALL FOR 2K READS I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES!!!! when I first started this book, I was just barely starting my writing journey. It was quarantine, i was bored out of my mind, so i thought, "hmm, why not write a book?" and i didn't think I'd ever come to love it so much! thanks y'all for the continuous support ILYSM!! I never thought I'd ever get this far 😭❤️