15— Talks and beseeching! (Part-3)

“We judge people as it is obvious psychology of humans to do so. But the question is: is it worth it? To judge everyone based on how they look? By how do they present themselves? By how do they choose to act? Because some people ought to be felt rather than observed. As you truly cannot judge people by their outer layers, that would be so unfair, some people should only be gazed upon by their hearts instead of eyes.”

— Saumya Tripathi 

“However, if I have to, I will. But you already know that. Don't you?” 

I did. 

His deep, uncaring tone sent chills down my spine. “It totally depends upon what you choose.” 

He waited.

“Either it is your way or mine but the path needs to be the same.”

Anger spiked in my stomach as if molten lava had been kept in it. I needed to get over this. I needed to get away from him. I had to get over it as quickly as possible. I had to! Because I didn't have much of a choice. As if knowing my state, the breeze picked up. Darkness had finally caught up to me. I had nothing but my rational mind to talk things out with him; to sort things out with him. There were voices inside my head, then there weren't. It was like after a while my mind seemed to be blanked out. I felt a rush of heat all over my body. I had to try once again— maybe then if it worked out the way I wanted it to, he might let us return to our normal life again— the one where I did not have to face him anymore. My dark long mane flowed wildly around my face now and then as a cold breeze passed by. 

I was almost home. And then— I wasn't. The freedom wasn't lost yet. I hoped it wasn't. Or was it? 

Everything was quiet except for the heavy rainfall. 

I had to try.

Slowly glancing over him I met his piercing dark orbs, instantly making me shudder with their smoulders, and had my breath freeze in my throat. After a long, hard moment of staring, he inculcated: “Do you really want your brother, little one?” 

Suddenly, it was as if the world had stopped spinning at his inquiry. The rain seemed to be as silent as a crept; firmament— pitch black with a certain menacing aura around the vicinity. Around us.

I shuddered.

I couldn't reply. 

“Come on, it must not be that hard to reply. Is it? I am waiting,” he urged. “Otherwise your lack of answer would make me believe that you really love him at all as you have proclaimed.”

“I do,” I conceded with my wet face.

It poured heavily without any restraint. 

“Thought so,” he contemplated. “Are you willing to do anything to have him back?”

I meekly nodded, knowing well enough what he had on mind. 

“So, I will give you a choice. Wouldn't that be great?” He paused. “The freedom of choice. Wouldn't you say?”

I never replied.

“I would take that as a yes, then.”

After all that mental work, I felt drained. 

His eyes spoke volumes of what he had stored for me. He stared straight down at me with thunder in his eyes. 

I fell. 

And, I fell on my knees hard— hard enough to leave scars and bruises not only on my knees but on my already weakened heart as well. Head bowed down over the land, tears cascading down aimlessly on the hard concrete floor, hands holding the wet road, nails digging into, arms trembling; whole body vibrating from the mute sobs which were coming from my own sore throat. Endless tears fell from both eyes without any restraint. However, I was numbed from my skull. Numbed and somewhat worn out from what was left of the serene calm switch I had. It was as if it just collapsed. It just broke apart. The thin thread I have held onto since the unfortunate death of my parents, of my calm sanity, broke into tiny bits. 

Tiny minuscule pieces. Into little bits and pieces. Piece by piece it broke asunder. It was way too much for me. Too much! It was too much for me to take in. All of this at the same time! My insides were churning rather contorting into unimaginable pain and dread. The inner demons were killing me: mocking me; sneering at me. I felt so lost and alone and isolated. 

With it, I was left with nothing but more suffering and deep loathing.

Papa! I wish you were here to defend me! Oh, I so wish! If you were here I wouldn't have to endure all of this.

Any of this!

It broke: the kept feeling I had bolted up inside my chest, came apart and left me open with tremendous lesions that I was hiding inwardly with difficulties. It broke. It broke apart. I was stark vulnerable and torn between the uncertain emotions that were buoying in my skull, which soon surfaced in the form of breaking down into unending tears of my own pain and woes. I cried, cried, and cried without a care in the world. For once I let it all out. 

The pain; devastation, emptiness, anxiety: all the emotions were making me choke on my own spit. It was too much for me to take all at the same time. All at the same time when— I was in an unprecedented yet minacious state. 

Breath. You need to breathe! My subconscious mind whispered. 

Breath.

Breath!

"Get up, Radhika! I don't want hypothermia taking you in its swing. Now, do we? It's quite late already. We must leave immediately. We should, little one! Get up," he ordered, his voice soft, but the tone of his voice held swinging emotions that I did not come to fathom.

I recoiled from the hurt in my knees. How words were as twisted as him. 

“You have a sick mind,” I blurted out before I could stop myself from saying what I felt. 

“You have no idea,” a smile played across his lips as he shrugged.

My eyebrows arched at the man as he looked down straight at me boldly. Tearing my gaze from the road, I inched my head up, in his direction, slowly. My eyes held my afflictions and pains along with my tears of suffering; I peered at him. Maybe pleadingly. Hoping against the hope, I pleaded through my raw, croaked voice:

"Please sir, don't do this to me. It is only he who has been left behind by my parents, if anything happens to him I can't afford it," I croaked up at him. "I just can't." 

"I don't desire that either. Trust me on that. I don't want that to happen either. Don't make me force you, my little bird. Just come with me and you both will be safe and secure under my supervision and your brother will be in your hands in no time. I can guarantee you that," he nodded at one of the men that was standing near him and very gently handed my baby brother to him, who took him in his awaiting bulky arms, gently as well. “Whatsoever, it is all your choice: either come with me willingly or I will have to force you. And,” he paused for a couple of minutes, “If I had to force you— you won't be seeing your brother anymore at all.”

I clenched my jaws together; my teeth grinding one another in anger and pain, and from the cold, my knees felt scraped. Although, I stayed put on the floor. 

Not moving at all.

Moving up my shivering hands, I folded them, entwining my fingers in front of me. Upon folding my both hands in a begging position to show him my vulnerability to just let go of my baby. I begged him again with tears in my eyes. My entire body was shivering not only because of the frigid weather but because of my heart-wracking sobs with my silent tears of pleading that were uncontrollably cascading down my cheeks to just hold my baby in my arms to my chest who had been given away in the arms of one of the other men standing a bit right behind him to whom I was begging to give back my baby to me: my tormentor.

Uzair. Was it? Yes. My mind whispered his name bitingly. I begged him in hope of getting my Shaur back, hence I could go home and forget all the horrible things that occurred to me today. If only he would let me. All the minacious things. All!

All of them!

If only he could. . . . .

"Radhika! Stand up I say!" His tone was as cold as an iceberg. I had bitten my lower lip at his sudden tone, his octave a little higher. His voice had something near to compulsion as my eyes found his two pure black soulless pith eyes on my own accord at his sudden commanding tone.

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