First Lie

The first time you lied was

the first time you've ever said I love you.


And you would say it,

while believing in the stars

and other happy endings. 

With the same heart any child means to believe

in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and Peter Pan, 

comes the same heart meaning to believe in love.


And you do believe it.

And you do mean it.


But after many nights of

giftless Christmas trees,

empty pillow cases,

and jumping off your bed 

to fly towards the second star to the right,

only to fall headfirst down

on the second disappointment to the right mind.


After many many more I-love-yous,

you grow up

And you realize that the first most sincere I love you

was a lie.


***

For the budding beginnings of I-love-yous,

I have questions.

Does our once-upon-a-time belief of what love meant validate the love we felt, although we don't acknowledge its meaning anymore? Do both meaning and feeling intertwine, in a way that it's either both or not at all? 

When you grow up and your definition of love changes, what the hell did you feel before? Can you still call it love even if you wouldn't call it love now?


Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top