CH. 22 -- PATRICK

I watch Pete slam the door as he runs into the hallway. I stay where I am, my shorts pulled halfway down and my hair a mess.

I finally get up sometime later and pull myself together. I grab a room key and walk across the hall to knock on Nick's door. When he opens it, I can tell he didn't look through the peep hole before he opened it.

"We should talk." I suggest, and he nods, moving to let me in. Gerard takes one look at me, pulls a shirt over his head, grabs his phone, and leaves the room.

Nick sits on his bed, and I sit on Gerard's. We face each other, and I take a deep breath as we look into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry for being a dick." Nick says, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, me too. I probably shouldn't have punched you." I say, and we both laugh. "Probably." I repeat, and we laugh again.

"Nah, I kind of deserved it. I've been acting like a dick this past week." Nick says, and I bring my hand up to his face.

"Yeah, but you don't deserve a fat lip." I tell him as I touch his lip gently. My eyes flicker down to his lips and then back to his eyes. We both lean in.

Our lips almost touch before I shoot off of the bed and away from him. "Patrick?" He asks, and I can tell he moved with me. I turn around, and we're face to face. "Relax."

"No, I can't get myself back into this again." I say as I take another step back. Nick furrows his eyebrows.

"Back into what?" Nick asks cautiously. He takes a step back for good measure.

"You! Nick, you! You've fucked me up so much, and I've known you for, like, three months!" I say loudly, and I feel tears forming in my eyes, but I'm not going to cry around this prick. Not again.

"Patrick, come on. Please, just calm down." Nick grabs one of my hands and pulls me to him. I push him away before he can hug me.

"No, just stop. Stop touching me." I say, pressing myself to the wall. He takes two big step away from me.

"I'm not going to hurt you. You don't want me to touch you? I won't." Nick sits on Gerard's bed since it's farther away from me. "Just talk to me."

I stand up and make my way back over to stand in front of him. "I don't hate you. I can't. No matter what I've said in the past, I just can't hate someone I used to love." Nick's eyes widen at my confession, and he reaches out slowly to touch my hand, giving me plenty of time to back away if I wanted to.

"We could've been great together, you know that?" Nick rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. "But we both know that it's time you move on. Pete's a good guy."

"You hate Pete." I say, forcing a laugh out so I won't cry. Nick gives me a sad smile.

"I'm hard on him because I love you. And because I want him to treat you right." Nick explains before he fakes a laugh. "I sound like a hypocrite. I'm so hard on Pete to treat you right when I couldn't."

"Stop it. You would've given me the world if you would've had the chance." I say, and Nick just blinks up at me.

"Kiss me. One more time for good measures?" Nick says, and I sigh before leaning in and kissing his forehead.

"Friends?" I ask as I pull away from him, and he pauses for a second before nodding.

"Friends." Nick bumps my fist and gives me another sad smile before ruffling my hair and pushing me to his door.

As soon as I open the door, I'm faced with Pete's back. Since he's knocking on my door. He turns around and his mouth drops open.

"Pete, no, come on." I grab his arm when he tries to march down the hall back to his room.

Pete stops and turns back around, snatching his arm away from me. "Leave me alone." He turns to walk off again, stopping himself about ten steps from his door. "No, you know what? Fuck you." He says that loud enough that it gets some of our teammates attention.

When their doors open, I give Pete a pleasing look. "Stop. Don't make a scene." He just shakes his head as continues to talk.

"No, everyone needs to hear." More doors open, and more of our teammates stick their heads out. Even Brent's door opens. "You're a slut, Patrick. Just how many guys are you trying to date at once? Oh yeah, surprise! Patrick's gay!"

I freeze in my place as everyone's eyes fall on me. Some of them already knew I was gay, but not everyone. I would've liked to tell them on my own time, but Pete handled that for me.

"You're not going to tell me to stop?" Pete asks, and I shake my head, willing myself not to cry.

"Nope, you've already pretty much ruined my fucking life. And I'm not fucking Nick or Gabe. Or you, apparently, since you wouldn't let me. Hope you're happy, though, because I'm done." I say, and I walk to my room before slamming the door and putting the latch over it to lock it before I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands.

Now everyone knows my biggest secret. My life is falling the fuck apart.

okay so b4 anyone says shit about how long it's been since i updated, pls fuck off.

i've actually been working this past month on a christmas oneshot for u all so be on the lookout for that.

thx 4 reading kiddos & merry crimma or happy kwanza or hanukkah or whatever it is tht u celebrate