I feel more guilty than I ever have, if that's possible. Right now I just want to hold Beginning. To hold him and apologize endlessly. I can't rationalize my behavior. Hoseok is an asshole. But I should have told Beginning. But I don't want to scare him. I want to know what Hoseok wants from us.

Currently it looks like he wants Jimin. And as much as I didn't want that to happen, I feel like I've pushed Jimin right into his waiting arms. That makes my blood boil.

And Void.

Why did he leave?

Why did he return?

I can't still want him. I finally had Beginning. He never knew about Void. What would introducing them do? I feel like I've earned a small victory for pushing him away. But I still feel so guilty that he disappeared.

I'm so angry at everything. At myself.

I need to sleep. But I won't be able to without seeing Jimin. Even for a moment. Even if he yells at me. Even if that cursed Jung Hoseok is with him.

~End

Edited