December 24, 2019
Dear Diary,

Today I asked Janelle, Jessica, and Cody if they wanted to go ice skating with me. Apparently the group I chose wasn't good enough for Janelle because she asked if she could bring that girl Brianna too.

It kind of hurt my feelings because I wanted some time with my real friends, not some girl I barely know.

But I got over that initial annoyance quickly. We left around lunch time and it was a lot of fun. Cody and I could barely keep ourselves off the ice so we bonded over our inability to ice skate. We even started a tally count of the amount of times we both fell (he fell way more than me). Meanwhile, Jessica skated circles around us and told us how boring we were.

Surprisingly, Janelle did a good job of bringing us all together. It wasn't awkward having Brianna with us. Don't get me wrong, Brianna is a sweet girl. She even bought us all hot chocolate and she's really funny too.

It's not her that bothers me, it's how Janelle acts around her. Maybe I'm paranoid but I feel like Janelle has more fun with Brianna than with the rest of us. Sometimes the two of them would go off together and Janelle would balance herself on the ice using Brianna to support her. Janelle had her hands all over Brianna for awhile and I'll admit it bothered me a bit.

Anyway, at the end of the day when it was time to go home, Cody and I were taking off our skates together. I was poking fun of him for not being able to figure out how to take off his skates even though I was having the same problem. Brianna and Janelle sat down with us shortly after and took off their own.

Brianna started helping Cody take off his skates and made a joke about how all Olympian figure skaters have to start somewhere.

Janelle started laughing and said that she could thank the winter Olympics for giving her hints about her sexuality. She explained how one winter when she was about 10 years old she watched the figure skaters while being completely mesmerized at how graceful and beautiful they were. She said she realized she was developing crushes on some of the girls on TV, not the boys. And she said, and I quote, "And voila! I was lesbian."

We all laughed with Janelle and Brianna said she was the same way with some of the other girls when she used to do gymnastics in middle school. She said she would be a trance watching the other girls do their routines. When everyone was a little confused she said "Oh, I didn't tell you? I'm bisexual."

Naturally we all supported her instantly and I told her that I, too, am bi. But it left me with a weird feeling. I can't figure it out.

I wish I was able to understand my own feelings. Why am I so confusing?!