Sorry, this recount of recent events is taking longer than I’d planned. But it’s all important information and I am getting to the best bit, I promise. 

So I’d woken up, again. And I was starving. But not for flesh, for hamburgers—hmm, weird. As I looked around the room, I realised they had moved me. I was on my own in a single room. It was just plain white with four walls, a sink and a door.

They still had me cuffed to the bed, damn it. Then suddenly someone knocked on the door. Expecting the Doc, it surprised me when a nurse walked in carrying a tray of food—normal food. 

She was wearing a ridiculously short uniform, with stockings and heels. Am I still dreaming? Because she was the sexiest nurse I’d ever seen, and she was making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

“Good morning Master Toby, it’s time for your breakfast.”

I had to be dreaming, there’s no way that was real.

“Um, I can’t eat that. Got any brains?” I asked, except the thought of brains wasn’t so appealing anymore. 

“Don’t be silly, dear. Only zombies eat brains and you are not a zombie.” She put the tray down on the side table next to me and retrieved a hand-held mirror from on top of the sink.

As she held it up in front of me, I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. I looked like my old self again, my eye was fine, my ear was back, my hand was stiff again and my skin was all healthy and pink looking. I hadn’t really noticed as I was waking, but I felt different and tired and hungry, but not for brains. Actually, I felt disappointed, like I’d lost something, something important. And where the hell were Meg, Charlie, and Tiff?

“What have you done to me? Where are my friends?”

“Why, you’re all better, dear. And your friends will all better just like you, as soon as we can guarantee you won't die in the next day or two, a gruesome and horrible death.” She was creeping me out with her cheery, positive bedside manner. “Now let’s get this food into you, we don’t want you fading away from hunger now do we?”

She had a point; I was no good to anyone if I didn’t eat.

“Can you undo my hands then?”

“Uh ah, don’t be silly dear, I’ll be feeding you. Now open up.” 

She adjusted the bed, so I was sitting up more, then grabbed the bowl of porridge off the tray and started spooning it into my mouth. Oh, shit, I was getting turned on big time. She leaned over, giving me an excellent view of her rather large boobies. Then when I dribbled slightly and a small clump of porridge landed on my chin, she wiped it off with her finger, then popped said finger in her mouth and sucked it, hard!

My eyes bulged, unfortunately, they weren’t the only thing that bulged. To my horror, a small tent appeared under my sheet. Stop looking at her boobs, Toby. Think about mum, dad, corn riddled intestines, headless Moe. Anything other than boobies!

“Oh dear, look what we have here.” The nurse was looking directly at the half erected tent, then she gave it a little pat. Shit! It was fully erect after that. It just popped up like a catapult swinging through the air. 

“Don’t worry about it, dear. It happens to the best of us.” Her voice dropped a few octaves with that last sentence, to a very distinctive male sounding voice. “If you like, I can take care of that after breakfast.” The porridge that I’d been about to swallow flew out of my mouth all over the crisp, clean, very flat white sheet. 

“Get away for him, you whore!”

“Meg!”

She stood in the doorway, looking as beautiful as ever. She was also healed, but I could tell she was still a zombie. Her skin was tinged green instead of rosy pink like mine.

“Toby! What have they done to you? You’re eating porridge?”

Out of the corner of my eye, the nurse was slowly sliding her? His? Their hand toward a small hand gun clipped into a leg holster.

“Meg, she’s got a gun!”

In a split second, Tiff rounded the corner and shot the nurse right between the eyes. She slumped over onto my lap—great, just what I needed.

“Wow, Tiff, what an awesome shot. I never knew you could shoot like that,” Meg said, like they were old chums.

“Thanks, I used to shoot with my dad every weekend down at the gun range. I even used to do competitions before the whole end of the world thing too.”

“Oh, cool—”

“Can you two please finish this conversation later and help me out of here?” 

“Toby, you’re... You’re—“ Tiff looked at me with complete shock.

“Cured, yes, I know. Do you think you two can stop thinking about eating me for two seconds and uncuff me?”

“Don’t be silly Toby, we’d never do that no matter how yummy you looked,” Tiff said, rather unconvincingly might I add.

“How did you guys get free? And where’s Charlie?”

“Charlie is keeping watch down the hall and my boyfriend helped us escape. He’s a guard here, you know.” Wait... Tiff is dating a guard? 

“How come he didn’t get you out sooner?” I asked.

“We were waiting to see if the Doc was successful with his cure and we were kinda hoping backup would arrive, eventually. Freeing all the prisoners was definitely more than a two-man job.”

“Weren’t you scared he’d test the cure on you next?”

“Nah, we had a plan that if it ever got to that, Freddy would save me. And he did, he saved all of us,” she said with such pride.

I had to roll my eyes at that. Because he didn’t save all of us, here I was, human again. And everyone else were now zombies 2.0. What kind of BS was that!

“At least tell me you plan to get us out of here,” I enquired. 

“Of course, but first we need to make sure all the zombie prisoners are out of the building.”

“Why? What’s happening?” What are they planning?

“We’re going to destroy the cure and the lab along with it.” Ah, okay.

“Wait, so you guys don’t want to return to normal again?” I would have thought for sure, zombies would line up for that stuff.

“No way and be some creepy zombie’s smorgasbord. I’d rather be the hunter, not the hunted. Thank you very much!” Tiff said rather forcefully.

Fair point. But then what does that make me? A walking buffet?

“Come on, the Doc is having breakfast in his office and Freddy—my boyfriend, is rigging the gas main, we have twenty minutes before the Doc finishes to clear the building.”

I watched as they quickly grabbed a bite of the nurse; it was somewhat disturbing from my new point of view. I even threw up a little in my mouth. Oh, wow, that was revolting! I’m going to have to make sure Meg scrubs those teeth hard next time we make out. Cause I ain’t missing out on under the shirt for nothing! As long as she doesn’t eat me, of course. Even then, it would still be worth it.

After Charlie almost fainted at the sight of me, we went in search of any stragglers that may have been left behind after the mass exodus. There were a couple that had been captured since the great escape, but that was it. It was time to leave; we had eight minutes to get the hell out of there. We were making our way through the empty main foyer when a familiar voice came out of nowhere. 

“Going somewhere?”

It was the Doc, out from the shadows he crept, with a gun pointed at some poor dude’s head, I assumed that was Freddy. Poor bastard.

“No!” Tiff screamed.

“I suspected there was something going on between you two. Imagine that, a zombie and a human. You’d make bloody ugly babies!” The Doc started laughing—prick!

“I’m going to—“ Tiff seethed as the Doc cut her off.

“Kill me? Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before. You look well, Toby. Perhaps I’ve finally found success. But you know I need to monitor you, so I’m afraid you can’t leave… what the hell?”

The Doc looked past me towards the large glass doors. Something outside had spooked him, big time. But when I turned, I couldn't believe what I saw either.

“What the hell!”

Word count: 1454
Total word count: 17,240