It's been really long huh..
Well
I really need some place to rant
I don't want to bore my friends anymore with my bullshit
I feel so alone tho, is it normal? I don't know. I just got back from being with my family a whole week and.. I feel so alone.
You know those langst fanfics?
Where he misses his family because the team never cared about him like them.
I feel the same
My stomach hurts like crazy, I mean it's not uncommon.

I knew I'm sick for some time now
My stomach.. it hurts like a b*
And I puke a lot.. sometimes even blood
My head is constantly turning and In pain
And I'm always too hot

But no one cares

No one ever did,,, or maybe they didn't notice.
That's okay. It a good thing they are fine. They don't have to stress about me. I can't punish them like this. I should act happy.. always.

That'll kill me... eventually. I know. But that's better then them being sad right?

I got nightmares every night now

It's weird I guess. For me, I rarely got dreams let alone nightmares.

I feel so alone, and broken and just.... blank. What even is happiness? Is it really real. Do I even really feel happy in my life?? Or is it something similar but not really it.

I don't know

I just want someone to care.. I want so much didn't I?

I always ask them how they are and, they never asked back.

That's okay.. I'm fine, I'm okay

I'm alive

That's enough right?