"You're joking"

Tyler turns around, surprised, "huh?"

Derek glares at him, "this is where we're stealing from? The palace in the country with the strictest penalty for theft?"

Tyler shrugs, "if it makes you feel better, I didn't know it had the strictest penalty for theft when I decided to steal from here"

"It does actually, cause now we can leave and probably reach home in time for a really late dinner"

"That doesn't change anything dude, I have to get the tiara back"

Derek sighs in exasperation, "this is about a girl, isn't it?"

"Jennifer isn't just any girl"

"To you. To me, she is, in fact, just another girl" he paused, "maybe a little more annoying than the average girl"

Tyler straightens his shirt, turning ahead, "you don't understand, if her father comes to know that she lost her diamond tiara, he's going to kill her"

Derek takes a deep breath, making a valiant effort to stop himself from decking his best friend, "He won't actually kill her you idiot it's just an exaggeration, probably for dramatic effect, considering its Jennifer"

Tyler doesn't even look at him, "You don't know that for sure"

"Yes, I do and if you weren't orphaned before you became a teenager, you would know too"

Tyler turns around, "low blow"

Derek shrugs, "a guy's got to do what a guy's got to do"

Tyler smiles, "Glad you agree". With that he takes a running leap at the big boundary wall, managing to catch the top with the tips of his fingers. He swings over it and drops out of sight and Derek sighs deeply before following him.

He flattens himself against the wall as a guard walks past and closes his eyes, "I can't believe I'm doing this"

Tyler zips open his bag, pulling out a coil of rope, "For the record I didn't really ask you to come"

Derek glares at him, "I thought we were going to do something fun together like old times, not go on a stupid mission for your girlfriend"

"She could get into real trouble if we don't get that tiara back"

"No, she just gets grounded, we, on the other hand, go into the ground, forever if we get caught"

Tyler shakes his head, "I'm doing this, with or without you"

Derek glances quickly at the retreating figure of the guard, "Do you have a plan at least?"

Tyler grins, "You distract, I grab"

"No, you distract, I grab"

Tyler starts tying the rope around his waist, "look if we get caught, as a distraction, you'll have a better chance of lying your way out of this place, I, on the other hand, won't be able to get out of it so easily."

"I'm better at this part than you are which means technically I have a higher chance of success"

Tyler hesitated, "are you sure about this?"

"Well, I'm sure I don't want to spend the next year cooking my own dinner"

"Thanks for doing this for me man"

"You're good but Jennifer owes me big time"

"I'll be sure to tell her"

Derek forced a smile as he took the rope from Tyler and began tying it around his waist, "Just distract them properly alright, we need something big enough to cause a whole lot of guards to abandon their posts"

"I've got it covered; you just focus on getting out of there as fast as possible"

With a mock salute at Tyler, Derek was gone.

                                                                   ******************

He had to admit that he had missed this. The rush of stealing something, outwitting rich people who had enough wealth to feed an entire country for a decade but spent them on frivolous things that no human was meant to enjoy.

"The king's having problems again"

He held his breath as he heard a giggle two feet away, "Those kinds of problems?"

He peeked out from behind the pillar and saw a young woman with a washing basket against her hip, smiling at a guard who lowered his voice and leaned forward, "Yeah those kinds of problems."

She giggled again, "The Queen thinks he's cheating on her"

"I think he'd prefer her thinking that"

She shifted the basket to the other hip, "why can't men just be honest about stuff?"

He shrugged, "he doesn't want her to doubt his manhood"

She tilts her head, "she fell in love with him before she even knew he was royalty, I don't think something like this would make her run for the hills."

"I guess I wouldn't know"

"I guess you wouldn't"

Derek hit the back of his head against the pillar, willing them to finish their conversation faster. It was cute and all, how much she was into him and how oblivious the guard seemed to be but right now he was on a clock and romantic feelings, even though they were not his, were what had gotten him into this situation in the first place.

As if reading his mind, he heard the guard tap his spear on the ground, "I need to get back to my post"

He peered out again and saw her wistfully watch him go before adjusting her basket and going the other way.

He stepped out into the corridor as soon as it was empty, moving cautiously. He needed to get his hands on a guard uniform in the next few minutes or he would be leaving in a body bag. It was a game of stealth, and he was really out of practice so he settled for knocking out a guard just finishing his shift, dragging him into a closet and emerging in the one thing that would get him into the room with Jennifer's tiara.

He smiled as he saw the guard he'd heard talking about the king outside the second entrance, it was all coming together really nicely. A couple of bluffs and incredibly good luck and he'd be in. He straightened up as he approached his target, "Did you ask for a shift change?"

Derek was grateful for the fact that the helmet obstructed the guard's view of his face, but it also meant that he couldn't make out if he believed his story or not.

"No, I didn't"

He nodded, "well must be the other guy then" he held his breath subconsciously as he walked past the guard into the room that most definitely housed the tiara.

"Wait"

Derek stopped, turning around almost immediately, "yes?"

"We can do that? Ask for shift changes?"

"Only in emergencies" he paused as if deep in thought, "I think this guy has food poisoning, you should stay away from the kitchen's clams."

"Right" the guard turned away, "I'll keep that in mind"

Derek heaved a sigh of relief, he was almost there, just one more lie. He strode forward confidently, "You're needed for a shift change on the second floor, it's an emergency"

The guard jerked up, "what?"

"Shift change, second floor now" he put as much as authority he could into his voice and thankfully it seemed to work as the guard took off. Within a couple of minutes, he had the tiara in his shirt and a few minutes to kill before Tyler's distraction. Ten minutes later, he was pissed.

Making sure not to jostle the tiara, he walked out of the room. It was time to improvise.

"Hey" the guard looked surprised, "You're not supposed to leave your post unattended"

Derek slammed his spear on the ground in frustration, "my replacement's not here"

"You were there ten minutes; you're not going to get relieved so quickly"

"It's an emergency"

"Apparently the chief doesn't think so"

"Well, I'm going to take it up with him, we have rights you know?"

"The rights don't cover not doing your job"

Derek started moving, "well when I start a union, I'll be sure not to invite you"

"Wait" Derek briefly considered running before he felt the tip of a spear against his back, "remove your helmet"

"What are you doing?"

"Take it off"

"Okay alright, just take it easy with the spear"

"Hey" he recognised the voice and had expected to hear it ten minutes ago. Still better late than never.

"Let him go"

"No" Derek heard the guard say, but the pressure against his back eased and after a second's thought with a swift move he disarmed the guard.

Tyler was grinning at him, "go team"

Derek gave him a quick onceover before turning his attention to the guard, "what were you going to distract him with?"

"Uh, myself?"

"Oh okay, what if I thought you got it covered and was waiting for you to use your weapon?"

"Well, you would have figured it out eventually"

"Not before he killed us both"

Tyler looked at the guard, "he wouldn't have killed us both just like that"

The guard shrugged, "I would have, it's in the guard rulebook"

"But you didn't" Tyler looked a little less sure of himself, "so it all worked out"

The guard narrowed his eyes, "the shift change is going to happen soon, and this place is going to be crawling with guards, you'll never get out alive."

Derek smiled, "I appreciate your concern, but I think we'll be fine, now start walking"

With a dirty look directed at both Tyler and Derek, he started walking.

"So, what's the plan?" Tyler asked, throwing his arm around Derek's shoulders.

"We try to escape through the maid's quarters"

"Okay, I trust you, did you get the tiara?"

Derek gritted his teeth, "yes I did, what took you so long?"

Tyler looked embarrassed, "Jennifer sent a message for me, and I got a bit distracted, don't worry it won't happen again"

"It better not"

The maid's quarters were empty just as Derek had thought. It was lunchtime and they were all either attending to the king's and queen's unnecessarily extravagant meals or cleaning their respective chambers. All except one.

She held out the mop in front of her, "Who are you?"

"We're not going to hurt you" Derek said calmly, "but we will hurt him if we don't get safe passage out of here."

"James?"

"Don't listen to them Lily, get out of here and get help"

"You should listen to us Lily, Tyler here has a body count of 20 at least"

"I murdered 20 people" Tyler cut in hastily, "not the other thing"

Derek rolled his eyes, "point is, you leave this room and we're going to kill your boyfriend"

Lily looked like she wanted to plunge the mop handle right into Derek's heart, "he's not my boyfriend"

"Yeah, but you wish he was" he gives James a disinterested glance, "for reasons beyond my understanding"

"Hey" James complains, "there's no need to get personal"

Tyler moves forward, "look we just need a way out of here and then you both can get back to your boring lives"

"Okay" Lily drops the mop, "I show you a way out of here and you let him go"

"Deal"

"Lily come on, don't do this" James interjects, "you'll get into trouble"

Derek knocks him on the head, "she's saving your life, I would send her flowers"

She leads them through the castle, passing a number of other attendants who don't seem too invested in the strange group walking through the corridors. Up ahead, one of the younger maids stared at them curiously as they walked towards her, as they passed by, she went back to whatever she was doing and Derek finally relaxed, he could see the doors that would lead to freedom and another successful heist.

"I really appreciate this dude" that was Tyler, who was now matching his pace, "we wouldn't have gotten out if it wasn't for you"

Derek grinned, "Next weekend is on you?"

"The next two weekends are on me"

"I can live with that"

There was a sudden jarring noise as the doors were slammed closed. Derek and Tyler exchanged a glance, this was bad, very bad.

Within minutes they were surrounded, and they knew it was over. Derek turned to Lily, "how'd you, do it?"

She gestured to the young maid he'd seen in the corridor, and he frowned, "you didn't tell her anything, I was right behind you."

"She's deaf, ever hear of sign language?"

Tyler sighed, "it was worth a try" he turned to the guard holding a spear to his chest, "I'll tell you everything, just let him go"

The guard laughed, "you don't get to make demands, return what you stole"

Tyler bristled, "what I stole? Your king stole that from my girlfriend, you moron, maybe you should ask Mr. Sticky fingers to get some help instead of stealing a 17-year old's tiara"

Derek groaned, "Dude, please shut up"

"I'm not going to let you die"

"I don't think you have a choice Tyler" he sighed, "the reason people don't steal from them very often despite their laughable security is because the penalty for theft is death"

"You seem to know a lot about our rules"

Derek whipped around, feeling his heart sink, there was no freaking way. Even without his crown, the king exuded royalty and power and he was suddenly very aware of the tiara poking through his shirt.

"You're a thief"

Either Tyler was an idiot or love had really impacted his intelligence because right now if Derek could knock out his best friend, he would.

The king laughed, "do you really think I have a need to steal anything?"

"You stole her tiara"

"That tiara's been here for the past fifteen years so unless I stole it from her when she was two, your girlfriend's a liar"

Tyler looked like he'd been slapped, "you're...you're lying"

"I'm not but you won't have a lot of time to feel sad about it because we're executing you in two hours" the king said, gleefully, "you might want to send your meal order to the kitchen soon"

"Wait, hold on" Derek cut in, "can I have a word with you? in private?"

The king looked genuinely offended at the suggestion, "no"

"I don't think you'd want your guards to hear about this"

He narrowed his eyes then waved at the guards, "cuff him and let him go"

Derek stood patiently as the shackles were tightened and then sauntered towards the king, "let's make a deal, you let me, and my friend go and I won't tell the queen about your...issue"

"What issue"

Derek gestured downwards, "you know, the issue"

The king chuckled, though there was no humour in it, "you're kidding, you're never going to meet the queen"

"I think we both know she never misses an execution"

The king paused, "I could just kill you right now, no execution"

"What happens when one of the staff let it slip that you killed two people" he paused, "without her" he grinned, "you think your marriage would survive that?"

There was another long pause as Derek watched the king go through a myriad of emotions starting with murderous rage and ending with defeat, "Guards, take the tiara and let them go"

                                                                        ***********

The silence was starting to make Derek uncomfortable, "you want to go to the tavern?"

Tyler shook his head, "why did she lie to me?"

"Maybe she wanted you to have some fun?"

Tyler looked at him incredulously and he immediately backtracked, "or maybe she's having a bad day"

"It's over, isn't it?"

Derek threw his arm over his best friend's shoulders, "I guess that depends on you"

"I'm sorry"

"You've got to be more specific"

"You almost died because of me"

"I almost died because I've been out of practice too long"

"Yeah, that was a pretty bad plan"

"Oh, shut up, they have a literal reputation for having the worst security ever"

Tyler grinned, "hey do you think James and Lily will get together?"

"He'd be an idiot not to, honestly if she was into me, I would put a ring on it"

"She almost got us killed"

"I like my women a little trigger happy"

"Apparently my women don't even like me"

"Okay, that's it" Derek pushed Tyler ahead, "we're going to the tavern, drinks are on me"

Tyler laughed, "you're broke"

"Not anymore" Derek pulled a gem out of his pocket and Tyler gasped, the last time he'd seen it, it was on a stolen tiara.

Derek grinned, "you think they'll miss it?"